Merry Christmas, after all

Our Christmas didn't turn out exactly as we planned, but we still have had a wonderful holiday.  Stupid snowstorm!!!

We had planned to go to Barnum Friday after opening presents from Santa that morning, but the HUGE snowstorm caused us to move up our trip to Wednesday.  Travis got up that morning, checked the weather forecast and saw that if we didn't leave that morning, there was no way we were going anywhere for 3 days.  So I got up, and within 2 hours of waking, we were on the road with everything we'd need for 2 girls, for 4 days.  Crazy.  We had a really nice time in Barnum, but it was very good to get home.  Saturday, on our way home, we stopped to visit Travis's brother at the correctional facility in Fort Dodge.  It was definitely a weird Christmas in that respect, but we are hoping it's the last of its kind.

Sunday, the Johannsen Christmas was at my brother's house, so we had a very short drive to the festivities!  True to form, the rest of my family showed up late, delaying lunch, then gift opening, and therefore dinner.  Nobody else seems to mind that kind of thing, but Emily and I are not that flexible.  I don't get hungry so much as my blood sugar drops, and I turn into a crazy person.  That's really not an exaggeration - I get shakey and incredibly, well, cranky, let's say.  Emily gets crabby and sleepy, and I get annoyed with her hanging on me and pawing at my earlobes, my hands, my arms, my face, whatever she can pinch.  So, we didn't handle that well, or the gift opening that was the most chaotic in my whole life, I think.  You'd think the gift opening would boost my spirits, but instead I just felt guilty that everybody else got me and my girls the most thoughtful lovely things, and I wasn't able to reciprocate.  My gifts kinda sucked, and it was such a whirlwind that I'm not sure who most things are from, or even if some things were for Emily or Audrey or both!  But there was still lots of laughs and I love my family, so it was still a wonderful day.  I figure most of them wondered why I was such a nasty person on such a fun day, but I hope nobody took it personally.

The next day was the Coulson Christmas, which was thankfully replaced by a surprise birthday party for my grandma (Mommo) who turns 90 on Jan 12th.  She was completely surprised after being greeted at the door with lei's, a flashing tiara and wand, and everyone singing happy birthday to her.  She was so struck that she just stood in the doorway with tears streaming down her cheeks, with Poppo behind her, who finally said, "Move in, Bette."  If you know Poppo, you know just the patient but slightly annoyed voice he used, because it was COLD that day!  It was a really wonderful evening.  Everyone was there, too: her husband, two daughters, 5 grandkids, 5 great-granddaughters, and her niece and nephew and their familes. We put together a gift of our memories of her, written on scraps of paper for her to read, one each day over the coming year.  I think that looks like a pretty nice party to aim for in 60 years.

The thing that was most frustrating, in looking back over Christmas, was that I wasn't able to give Emily a sense that Christmas is a holiday, one day, that we celebrate together as a family. Instead, it's a hectic week of schedule-out-the-window, traveling, and presents day after day after day. I suppose that's a more realistic depiction, but she didn't even get to experience Santa: the anticipation going to bed, the excitement waking up, and the magic of opening gifts from someone mysterious. She asked me today if she could open presents, as though this is what we do daily now. I guess next year I'll try to establish something just for our little Sullivan family, if another snowstorm and other family stuff don't get in the way.

And so it's back to the grind of things today.  Emily has yet to initiate a run to the potty out of real need, and at this point I'm letting her have accidents so she can see the difference between the positive experiences (went when Mom told her) and the negative one (pooped her pants AGAIN.)  I just cannot believe that it's normal for a 2-year-old to poop 3 times daily, but I'm sure tired of washing out undies in the toilet.  It's practically every day, and she goes in the potty plenty of times!!  You'd think she'd figure it out.  I just don't know what else to say to her or how else to incentivize it.  So if she's too young and not ready for full-on potty trained status, then she's too young to give up her nap completely!!!  but that's what she's doing.  Just as I need a few minutes in the afternoon to teach Audrey how to take naps by herself (I haven't bothered to this point, with all the car travel, strange places, and schedule upset).  Emily ends up either too cranky to function by the end of the day, or wide awake (with a nap) and unable to get to bed before 10:00.  I guess this is all normal, but it sure seems like I should be able to do something about it, and I just can't. 

Audrey is smiling lots these days, and she's getting so she needs more attention - as in, entertainment.  She gets lost in the mix a lot, and I feel terrible that I have to give her her pacifier while I take care of poopy pants AGAIN, or tear Emily off the stairs AGAIN, or take care of the latest owie Emily achieved because she's too tired to function.  So, I guess, so much for not having another thumb sucker.  I feel guilty about Emily's nervous habits, and the consolations I've been offered are not consoling: "It's not your fault, she does it naturally," yes, because that's one of the few ways she's just like me when I was a kid- nervous and needing something in her mouth.  I bit my nails terribly short from the time I was 4 or 5 until probably college, and I still pick at them a lot.  I can't help her to quit either the thumb or her earlobe pawing - she'll either transfer the habit or have to spend 20 years outgrowing it.  It's a really awful feeling.

This post has taken me all day to do, and I have done nothing else besides this and paying attention to my kids - dishes are all on the counter, lunch was reheated.  But diapers are changed, poop is cleaned off bottoms, and they're both fed and resting now.  It's a keep-em-alive kind of day, I guess.  I'm hungry, again, so I'd better go eat something before someone else needs me again.

Stupid Christmas

Christmas has been taking up my maternity leave, and I'm not very happy about it!  I'm supposed to be able to spend some of this time at home with my baby, relaxing, recovering, getting used to having two kids, and instead I'm trying frantically to do random Christmas preparations in any spare moment.  Gah!!

Things are going much better, all in all, though.  I'm still really busy, but on the days where Audrey is up 2 or fewer times, I do all right.  The nights where she's up every 2 1/2 hours, I don't do so well on the following days.  And it takes me a while to recover, too.  Wednesday night was particularly bad, and by Sunday I could barely function.  I thought I might sleep in a little that day, since Travis had stayed out until 3 AM the night before and slept until 9:30 Saturday, but no, Emily was pestering me at 6:45, like usual.  Travis did take her downstairs at 7:15, finally, but Audrey was awake at 7:45 so that's hardly that much of a luxury.  That's how most days are going: if one kid sleeps in, the other doesn't, whether Travis is around to help or not. It's sad that I'm yearning for the day when I can sleep two four-hour stretches in the same night!!

Audrey definitely knows me, now, and she makes the most fantastic faces.  I came downstairs last night from putting Emily in bed (again), and Audrey looked up at me with the most surprised happy-to-see-me expression!  It was beautiful.  She really can smile now, although it's generally just a couple of times, first thing in the morning.  One of these days, I'll get it on camera. There's just something about the way she wiggles and makes faces and coos that just makes me wild about her!

Emily is about 75% potty trained, I'd say.  I have to suggest it most of the time, but she's got everything else down.  She still likes her privacy, shouting "GO 'WAY" to me as she runs to the potty.  The hand gesture that goes along with it is pretty funny, tho hard to describe.  She went all day Sunday and all day today without any accidents at all!  It's sad to me that she can poop on the potty 3 or 4 times in a day and still manage to poop her pants, too.  It's a lot to ask of a little person, to keep going that many times!  Her descriptions of her output are getting funnier, too.  The latest was "ice cream in cone," and I have to say it was pretty accurate.  It's like, instead of potty training, she's making poop art.  And she's so matter of fact when she says it, too!  Hilarious.

The Terrible Two's

It's been quiet on this blog lately because my life is absolutely insane.  I can't even describe the individual things that make it so hectic, except to say that Christmas isn't helping.  I have gifts for Emily this year, but not Audrey or Travis yet, and I don't even have ideas for almost everybody else.  I don't think I'm in panic mode yet, except whenever I get a chance to get out (or online) and shop, it appears that stores are out of things or have marked up prices because I'm so "last minute."  With over two weeks left! Jeez!

There have been some real joys lately, just little things that I have to consciously tell myself are the reason I'm doing all this work.  Audrey smiled at me last night, just barely.  it wasn't an all-out grin, of course, but I started talking to her and she looked up at me and gave me the most beautiful expression with her bright blue eyes.  I tried to picture that face last night when I was up with her for the 3rd time.  I think my favorite nights are the ones where you think you're getting up in the middle of the night, but things go wrong somewhere and it ends up being your wake-up call for the day.  Uuugh.  Audrey will sleep up to 5 hours at a time, usually around 3 1/2, which is definitely helping me function - key word there being "helping."  I am still having a hard time emotionally with my daily job, even on days where I feel rested.  I feel like I'm being tested constantly. Emily finally fell asleep after 10:15 the other night because she kept hopping up out of bed. One time she ran into a wall because she was giggling and running around in the dark, so my efforts to be as consistent and non-interactive in hopes that she'll stay in bed were totally derailed.  As a result of this newfound desire to run around at bedtime, she's been incredibly tired, which makes it impossible to reason with her (the fact that she's 2 also doesn't help), and we're left with straight discipline instead of teaching lessons.  She's fighting off a cold, and still adapting to me being unavailable from time to time with Audrey.  And some days she wants to potty train, while other days she insists on wearing a diaper.  So yeah, stressful times with Emily.

But she's also wonderful and hilarious!  She's getting real sentences now, such as "I need to stop doin' that!" and "I cry all the time."  One day when I picked her up at Amanda's, she came running to me, saying "Mom!  I found you!!"  She's SO good at puzzles, and can do a couple of farm animal puzzles that are meant for 3-year-olds without my help at all anymore.  She's decided that her favorite song is "My Favorite Things," and she knows a lot of the words to songs now so she can suggest ones for me to sing to her.  She's always so sweet with Audrey, giving her kisses, bringing her her pacifier, and really being gentle around her.  The other night, she flung a toy in Audrey's direction, totally by accident, and she was really upset that Audrey was so startled, even though it really wasn't Emily's fault.  I have to keep telling myself that Emily's tough times are not failings on my part, and that she is still a wonderful little girl even when pushing the boundaries in every aspect of life.  It's hard, though, because if I get to take credit for what a nice little girl she is (as people tell me to do), I feel responsible for her tough times, too.

We're having a snow day here today.  Travis is home because there's no way he could get across town to work, with the 15" of snow we've had.  It's nice to have a day with Travis home and NO FOOTBALL!  Audrey and Emily are both napping this afternoon, unlike yesterday when neither of them slept except Audrey when I was holding her.  And no matter what I do while they nap, I always kick myself as they're waking up for not doing something else "more productive."  So I figured I'd give up on productivity and blog instead.  It's nice to have something I can give up on, because even though I've been told many times that "the first kid is an experiment anyway," my girls are too special to take that attitude towards.  And so I keep plugging away...

A tough job

Being a stay at home mom is HARD.

Today has been rough.  By 9:00, I had changed two poopy diapers and one pair of poopy undies.  We walked to the park this morning with one girl in the stroller and one in the Baby Bjorn carrier, because Emily begged and begged to go.  Somehow, I spent the 40 minutes prior to our outing chasing a naked girl who wouldn't get dressed so she could go on the swings!! Then, Emily spent 10 minutes on the swings and said she wanted to go home, which was fine with me because it was an exhausting outing.  It was so frustrating making lunch for her because she was so hungry that all she could do was fuss at me.  I wanted to read her some books to settle her down for naptime, but every time I did, Audrey would remind me that she wasn't quite asleep yet, and then I'd have to go rock her.  I just couldn't get Emily's attention this morning, it seemed, which seems counterintuitive to her wanting more of my attention.  Audrey has been eating every 2 hours today instead of 3, so that's out of whack too.  It's been SO frustrating today!!  Is every day going to be this hard??

Think these girls are sisters??

Emily Claire, 20 days old

Audrey Elizabeth, 10 days old

All about Audrey

We took her to her checkup on Tuesday, which we didn't have to do with Emily because we stayed in the hospital two days with her.  Since they released us after 24 hours with Audrey, they wanted to do a checkup to look for jaundice, heart murmurs, and other things that show up in the 2-3 day range.  She passed all with flying colors!  She measured 8 lbs 15 oz, so she's back up past her birthweight - and that was even after pooping and before eating!  She showed off her two dimples (our doctor remembered that Emily has one dimple. isn't that sweet of her??), and she was awake and alert and shining, clear through the appointment and the trip to the grocery store afterwards.  What a nice little girl!

She's been sleeping pretty well at night, in general.  We had one rough night this week, but she's really pretty good with the 3-hour snooze between feedings.  She's got incredible output capabilities, though, so she's in size 1 diapers for overnight.  They look ridiculous on her, but the newborn size just doesn't have the capacity we're needing!  We're getting closer to being regulated for supply and demand as far as food goes.  I'm still pretty sore, but it's getting better.

She has found the same framed pictures that her sister liked at this age, and it's fun to sit on the couch with her while she looks up at them.  I still think it's funny how it can get to be overwhelming for her!  She'll look for a good long while, and then start crying when it's gotten to be too much stimulation!  Such a concept!

And she's SO beautiful!  I wish I could get a picture of her eyelashes, but they're too thin to show up in pictures.  They're long, though, and so pretty!  She has the most pleasant expression, too, and I crack up everytime she gives me her hungry snarly face.  She just looks like she's ready to laugh at any minute. And it's so funny to compare how she's like Emily, or baby Kristin or baby Travis.  It'll be even more fun to do those comparisons as her personality comes out!

We really thought long and hard about what to name this little girl. The more I get to know her, the more amazed I am that we got it right!  It wasn't a name we had considered until after she was born.  I really thought that I had thought of everything, though, in picking a name for her that was beautiful and ageless, so you can imagine how devastated I was when she came home and Emily referred to her as "Laundry."  *sigh*  She's just about got it now, but it's been tougher for her than I thought it would be!!  Someday I'll laugh, right? :)

I am so in love with my girls!!

Audrey Elizabeth Sullivan

Born November 6, 2009, at 10:55 AM.  Weighed 8 lbs, 14 oz, and was 21" long.

Thursday night, I went to bed a little early hoping to go into my last workday feeling rested.  I woke up at midnight to go to the bathroom, and I wasn't feeling well but I was too tired to care.  At 1:30, I woke up again from the general pain of things, so I went to the bathroom and noticed my shorts were wet.  I couldn't believe it - my water had broken!!!  I came back to bed and had the stupidest conversation with Travis, along the lines of, "I think my water broke."  "Well, did it?" "Well, yeah!" "Now what?" "Uh...." 

I called my sister, and she drove down from Ames to be here when Emily woke up.  Even though she made the drive incredibly fast, I still decided I should be at the hospital right away.  Since my contractions weren't that bad or frequent, I actually drove myself to the hospital, sitting on towels. :)  Travis came as soon as Jenny got here.  As a side note, Emily had a fantastic day with Jenny's family.  She was so happy to see Jenny when she woke up, and she spent the day with her cousins, apparently not missing me or Travis at all. 

At the hospital, they confirmed it was amniotic fluid, and said I was dilated to 5 and 75% effaced, but that my water hadn't completely broken yet (just a leak at the top, I guess).  They admitted me, and the on-call doctor said I could have an epidural if I wanted one.  I said yes, and they proceded to start an IV for the necessary fluids.  It took three different nurses FIVE tries to get the IV started, and quite honestly it hurt a LOT more than the contractions did at the time.  I still have four lovely bruises on my arms from their attempts.  After the fluids got started, I got the epidural, and it was also an awful experience.  It's really cold in a hospital at 4 AM, and since my pain wasn't that bad yet, I was fully aware of what the anaesthesiologist was doing and it was really awful.  And, since they thought I was progressing so quickly, the drug mix they gave me was one for fast action and not necessarily long-lasting thorough pain relief.  There was some narcotic in it that made me itch all over, like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. If I hadn't just trimmed my fingernails, I probably could've put up with it, but instead they gave me Nubain to numb that.  Well, that made me feel incredibly drunk and woozy, and it put me to sleep.  I can't remember when the doctor finished breaking my water, but it didn't get contractions going like they wanted it to, so they started me on Pitocin too, since I already had my epidural.  I slept for a couple hours, and when I woke up around 8, they said I was still just at 6 cm, but getting to be more effaced.  Everybody who checked me said I was really "stretchy."  I don't know what that means, but they all commented on it. 

By 10 or so, the pitocin had ramped up to insane levels and I was feeling the contractions through the epidural.  The nubain had mostly worn off, but I was still exhausted from all the mid-night excitement.  I was really struggling through the contractions, and finally the nurse checked me and said I was at a 10 - calling me a "goof" in the process.  They got everything all set up, and I was ready to push, and suddenly half the people left the room!!!  It was so weird - they all got called to another emergency somewhere, so there was just the doctor, the nurse, and a nurse who used to be in NICU but was training to be in labor / delivery.  I didn't really notice it was strange until later, because I was in a LOT of pain.  I could really feel the baby, and really feel the contractions, and when I went to hit the magic epidural button for more, the nurse told me it wouldn't help in time.  But, I think I only pushed for a couple of minutes, and I have no stitches!!  I also feel like I was a bit more "into" the experience than with Emily's birth, where they had to watch the monitor for a contraction to tell me to push.  This time, I knew!!

So, my baby girl was weighed and measured and checked out, and then she ate!  She was still a little drugged up from the nubain, and so was I, so it was a little tougher for her, but we did all right.  She slept all afternoon while Travis and I tried to figure out what to name her.  It was really hard, because although we had lots of beautiful options, there was always a downfall - too juvenile, too old-lady, bad nicknames, or just personal preference from either me or Travis. Finally we settled on Audrey Elizabeth, and I think it's just right!

I have been wondering if I should've not had the epidural, since I ended up in so much pain anyway.  I think that what got contractions going was when I shifted positions after I woke up.  A friend of mine had told me that sitting upright, leaning forward a bit, can help a baby get into the right position for delivery, so I figured I'd do a little of that.  There was a gush of fluid when I did that, and I could feel that contractions were stronger after that.  But, with the epidural, they wanted me to lie back as much as possible to keep the anaesthetic up in my belly and not all in my feet.  And, the stupid monitors they had on me to watch the baby's heartbeat kept losing connection when I'd lean forward, so the nurses kept wanting me to lean back.  But, if I had been able to sit up at 6 AM instead of being knocked unconscious by Nubain, I probably could've had Audrey sooner.  I know there's no way of knowing, but I'm kind of regretting getting the epidural and having to go through all those drugs.  I guess as long as I don't have stitches, I'm pretty happy.  The recovery has been so much easier this time than after Emily's birth.

Since the H1N1 virus has been going around, the hospital limited our visitors to two at a time (we abused that one quite a bit!) and no visitors under age 18. I had hoped we could skirt the latter rule, too, but they stopped Emily at the doors and said I had to come out to see her.  I did, and she had had such a fun and crazy day that she wasn't particularly glad to see me. That was really hard to take, because I had really missed her!  But she had missed my ears, and wanted me to play with her in the toys in the lobby, so we did that together, and she gave me a fantastic goodbye hug and kiss when she left to go home with Travis.  I stayed with Audrey in the hospital overnight, and came home about noon on Saturday. 

It was definitely a joyous homecoming, with Audrey getting lots and lots of kisses from Emily.  She wanted to change Audrey's diaper right away, cuz that's what you do with babies!!  And since Audrey takes after her sister in the diaper department, there have been plenty of opportunities for diaper changes.  Wow, that girl can poop!  Emily has been so loving and so interested in Audrey; the hard parts have been the effects of the general stress.  We have all been really tired, although Travis is caught up pretty well and is serving as the sole functioning and rational member of our family.  Emily is a real trooper, though, and has really been great. She was right - baby sister was coming, after all!

This afternoon, Emily is at daycare while Travis is at work.  My mom has been here since Audrey was born, and just went home this morning.  Audrey and I have had some nice snuggle time and both of us have been napping (one of us more than the other!).  My milk came in yesterday, and I've been fighting the soreness, but Audrey is doing a pretty good job of eating both sides each time she nurses, and I hope that means my stint as a Dolly Parton imitator can end soon.  OW.  The intense stretching sensation isn't as bad as the first time, but the bruised feeling is still there.  And, this time I've got a 2-year-old inadvertently throwing elbows and slamming her head on my chest in attempts to snuggle, and it hurts so much when she does that!  I sure like having more lap available, though.  We can get extra close and I have really missed that!

I have such a nice little family.  There's a new folder at our picasa site, which is linked at the top of this page.  It's pretty overwhelming that I have two children, now.  Two amazing little girls!

All about Emily

I've been complaining about this pregnancy a lot, so I'll update with what my little girl has been up to lately.

During the week of her birthday, she switched from calling herself "Eminee" to "Emily." It was so interesting to hear her carefully correct herself and say her name just the way she wanted it. We got a few Clifford books from the library last week, and since the main character is Emily Elizabeth, she likes to refer to herself as Emily Claire on occasion. It's just beautiful to hear her say it. :)

We had all of last week together to work on potty training, and she did really well for a couple of days (with my nagging) and then eventually she decided it wasn't worthwhile. But after two days back at Amanda's and being in the mix with the big kids again, she has had a dry diaper/undies all day today. She even pooped, all on her own, because I took her potty downstairs while I did laundry and left her by herself. Apparently she just needed some privacy! :) She ate her skittles, flushed her poo and said bye-bye, and told her dad, her aunt, and her grandma over the phone. She was so excited, and so was I!

We played in the sandbox today for nearly an hour. She was concentrating so hard on scooping, pouring, and stirring, and even added to the imagination of her play by saying she was making muffins! She added sugar and eggs and milk, stirred it all up, and scooped it out. The concentration was amazing to see. It looked like play, but there was real coordination skill being developed there.

She can draw really nice circles now, too! I have found that drawing food is an easy thing to do with her, since the shapes are simple and fast to draw. She draws really nice fried eggs (circle in a circle, with the center one colored in), and lollipops (circle with a stick). Today I was drawing a bus for her, and asked her where the wheels belong, and she answered and pointed. It was so neat to be able to ask her questions and have her really work to figure out the answer.

Today may be our last day together, just the two of us, even though I haven't had any contractions and I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten any more dilation than the 2 cm at my appointment on Monday. We didn't leave the house, and the most exciting thing we've done today is laundry and talk to the neighbor. But we've really had a lot of fun together, and it's been fun to see her learning, from doing puzzles to singing songs and telling me stories. What an amazing little girl she is!

Don't be silly. Of course there's no baby yet!

I am really suffering these days. This morning I had my first heart-racing episodes with this pregnancy. I had them a lot with Emily - my heart would race and I'd feel faint. Getting down on all 4's helped again, so at least I know how to end the misery, short-term. If I had ever had a doctor take me seriously the first time, I might know why they're occuring again (is the baby so big s/he's on some major artery again?? and if so, is that really scary because s/he's already dropped??)

I "only" have 3 days until my next dr's appointment. I am so annoyed with their scheduling, but even more annoyed that a friend told me she scheduled hers all months in advance. Why don't they advocate that for people?!?! Jeez. I am getting more and more frustrated with my prenatal "care." Sounds like it's just a prenatal routine to tell me to suck it up and we'll deal with you at 41 weeks.

It's beautiful outside today, so I was sitting watching Emily in the swing while Travis pushed her. It's hilarious to watch, but would've been much more enjoyable had the pain in my pelvis been radiating clear down to my feet. I had to lie down on my right side to take some of the pressure off, and even that only helped a little. I can't walk - if I stand up I get a contraction, and it takes me several minutes to actually straighten all the way up. Even the, I can't bring my left leg forward; I have to swing it around the side instead. Every time Emily crawls up onto my lap for a book, she pokes her elbow into my tummy and it causes a contraction. They're really painful, and they're mentally frustrating too because they do no good at all!!! It just makes me cry. i've been on the verge of tears all day.

And things started off really nicely today. Travis slept downstairs because of my snoring, so I was able to really get comfy and relax all night. I woke up once to pee, and then at 6 AM (new time) I heard pitter-patter of little feet come into my room. She and I snuggled/slept for almost another hour before we finally came downstairs. The more miserable I get, the more cheerful and helpful and sweet Travis gets. He's been productive and busy all day, but not so busy that he doesn't step in and help me when he sees me struggling. I would be in fantastic spirits if I weren't in so much pain, with no end in sight!!!

Jinxed

I packed a bag for the hospital tonight, thereby guaranteeing at least another week of agony for me. I'm so smart.

I've had a rough couple of days, mentally. First, the baby has dropped, which means its head is putting constant pressure on my pelvic bones, creating the sensation that I have been sitting on a bike seat for too long. The pain sometimes radiates down my left leg, about halfway down my thigh, even if I sleep on my right side all night. I don't do well with chronic pain, even though I keep telling myself that at least the ribcage stretching only lasted a couple of weeks this time. Still, this is a literal pain in my ass and it's really getting me down.

I wanted to talk to my doctor about it at my last appointment, in conjunction with the ultrasound results, but I didn't even get to see a doctor. One of the doctors in the group is on her maternity leave now, so they have a nurse practitioner from outside the group filling in. She basically said that she had had a 10 pound baby so suck it up. Okay she said more than that, but it was all unhelpful so that's what stuck with me. My belly isn't measuring too big anymore because the baby is so far down that it's not getting measured, so she wasn't at all concerned. Get this - at 38 1/2 weeks, they didn't even check me for dilation!!!! Couldn't believe it. I really don't think I'm dilated anyway, so it's just as well I didn't experience the letdown from having that confirmed. It was a really rotten appointment, and of course when I mentioned scheduling an induction I was basically laughed at.

So to top it all off, I found out last night as I was going to bed that all hospitals in Iowa are refusing any visitor under the age of 18 due to H1N1 fears, and restricting the number of visitors at a time to two people. I can't think how to adequately describe the stupidity of this policy. First of all, people under 18 are the ones who qualify to get H1N1 shots, and therefore are less likely to be carrying it into the hospital. They also are less likely to try to tough it out or mask symptoms than an adult. And, if I'm only allowed two visitors at a time and Travis is one of them, does that mean that only one other person is allowed in the room at a time? And I really don't get to see Emily for 2 days?? I can't even fathom that!! I've never been away from her that long!! How is she supposed to make any sense at all of me disappearing for two days and coming home with a baby?? After contacting the maternity ward directly, I've decided that Emily's coming to see me and meet her little sibling. If somebody raises a stink, I will raise a bigger one. New moms get what they want!! So there!!!

Emily has decided that she's totally cool with peeing on the potty now. If you ask if she has to go, she'll say no, but if you tell her it's time to go, or command that she "run run run" to the potty, she does! She wore underpants for most of the day, although the first pair of Doras ran into a very messy demise early on in the day. She still has to figure out the whole pooping side of things, but since she goes twice a day (at least) she has plenty of opportunities to learn! Only once today did she suggest going, and she really did have to go, so I'm hoping that the more she gets used to only peeing in the potty the more she'll suggest it instead of me having to watch the clock. And of course I'm fully prepared to go back to diapers full-time once the baby is here, but it sure was nice to have a one-diaper day today!! I have her all day tomorrow, too, so we'll see who wears down first - me or her.

My daycare provider and her daughter have come down with something nasty - possibly H1N1 but it could be anything. Fortunately, even though Emily was there all day Tuesday, she seems to be doing fine. I was able to go to work and get most of the transition work completed so I can feel good about not showing up for work. I was hoping I would be missing work because of going into labor, but instead it's the sick daycare situation. I still have to figure something out for Emily for Friday, but it's not critical because I'm assuming that any time I show up at work now is a bonus. Now, if I can convince a doctor to schedule an induction for Nov 5 or 6, I think I'll be okay. But I can't even get an appointment scheduled at a halfway convenient time, nor meet with the doctors I am paying to see, so who knows.

I thought I had learned enough from my birth experience with Emily to not be in a situation with frustrating and flippant healthcare-givers, but here I am again. What am I doing wrong?!?!

Projections

At my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, the nurse practitioner who measured my belly said I was measuring a little bit small. She figured it was either that the baby was sitting too low to be measured (which is considerably more comfortable than too high, as Emily was), or there may be low amniotic fluid or a problem with growth. So she scheduled me for an ultrasound on Wednesday, and Emily came with me. She's so protective - didn't want me to put her down and insisted on snuggling up next to me throughout the whole procedure. She was really good, once we convinced her that everything was really okay!

The ultrasound tech did a couple of measurements, and asked me, "They said you were measuring small?" I didn't see any individual measurements that were in the 37-week gestational age, most were about 39 weeks. She said everything is fine with the amniotic fluid, and that the baby is sitting very low. She also predicted the baby's weight, as of today, as 8 lbs 6 oz. There's a one-pound tolerance on that, but still, even a 7 lb 6 oz baby is a decent size baby to deliver, and 9 lbs 6 oz is bigger than Emily was!! I'm glad to have this data point to talk to my doctor about at my next appointment on Tuesday, so at least we can discuss scheduling me for induction during the 39th week. I'm excited to not have to be overdue this time, but I've got a lot to get done before the baby's born!!

Sweet memory

Before I forget, I want to write this down. Tonight, Travis and Emily and I were at a wedding reception, and Emily and I went out to the entryway where it was quieter so she could burn off some steam. She was happily running around some chairs, and then came over to me saying, "Hug, hug" so I gave her a big hug. Then, "kiss!!" and she kissed both my cheeks, so I kissed her on the cheek, too (several times, probably; her cheeks are irresistable!). Then she says "I laauu you" and wiggled out of my arms. It was so spontaneous, and so brief, that I am sitting here just enjoying that moment, trying to make it last forever in my mind.

The bride may have been beautiful, but Emily was the most brilliant, gorgeous thing in the room tonight. She danced, she spun, she bounced along on her tiptoes, she said cute things, she smiled at me, and she danced with her dad. There just aren't words to describe how amazing she is, and how much I love her!

Busted!!

So last night I slept the entire night without having to get up to go to the bathroom, and it was fabulous. The only time i woke was when Emily was crying, and I have no idea what time that was. I kicked Travis and asked him to go check on her, and he said "what?" I had to repeat myself 3 times before he figured it out. I was SO annoyed because there's a child crying - why do you think I'm kicking you?!?! But he took care of it and I think i was back asleep before he was even out of bed.

This morning I asked how that all went down, and he said he had to take his earplugs out to hear what I was saying!!! I told him earplugs are off limits once the baby is born. If he isn't so tired that he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow no matter what kind of noise is going on, then he's not helping me enough! :) He didn't exactly agree, but I will have my way. He says i just have to kick him and he'll help, but I told him there's nothing about this that should begin with me having to do something. I'll be up with baby - he has to be up with Emily. End of story!

So, I called my mom this morning and was venting about the situation telling her how I had laid down the law. Emily was playing with her kitchenette while we were talking, and I guess she was listening more than I thought. Tonight at supper, I said something about the new baby, and she said "Baby wake up dad!!" Travis looked at me incredulously, asking if I had been talking about the waking-in-the-night situation with her. I said no... and he knew she'd been listening while I talked on the phone about it. Man!! I can't believe she got me like that!! Amazing what little ears can hear and retain.

The big 0-2

Emily is now a two-year-old. Wow!

We had a great birthday here, with "just" family to celebrate Saturday morning with her. My grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my parents, my sister and her family, my brother and sister-in-law, and Travis's parents came to our house for brunch and present-opening, plus a little playtime before Emily crashed for her nap. We had pancakes, egg casserole, and fruit salad, since those things (roughly) are some of Emily's favorite foods. All she ate was the pancakes, but she's the birthday girl - I didn't push it. :)

The gift opening was hilarious. She wasn't quite understanding that there were lots of things for her, and once she opened something and liked it, she didn't know why we'd try to take it away from her to give her another mysterious package. Her cousins tried their very best not to be impatient with this!! She was particularly fond of the things she picked out for herself when we had gone shopping at the toy store a couple weeks ago (I hid them when we got home). There's a stuffed pig that she really likes that has three buckles across its tummy - it looks ridiculous but apparently it's very entertaining! She also enjoyed getting new clothes from her Grandma Sullivan - immediately stripped off the clothes that she was so excited to put on in the morning, and put on her new outfit. And wore it the rest of the day! She got a kitchenette and set of play food from her Johannsen Grandparents (a steal from a garage sale of course - I can't imagine what this would've cost new!!). She was one very, very happy birthday girl. She LOVED having "two grammas!!" to dote on her, and they were delighted when she let loose and sang some kind of aria just for them. She loved her schoolbus cake, which I might say I was pretty proud of, and blowing out the candles. She dove right in and started eating the skittles off of it, then went in to take two big bites out of the cake itself. So funny!! All this on top of a celebration the day before at Ms. Amanda's! We were glad to have today just to relax and unwind a little, although Travis was pretty productive today doing little projects around the house.

The things Emily can say now are just amazing! Over the past month her ability to form sentences has really cemented, everything from "I did it!" to complex thoughts about things that happened several days ago. She had a lot to say last night about her birthday as we were going to bed and talking about what had gone on that day (as a way to get her to lie still and unwind a little!). I can really ask her what's wrong and what happened if she's crying, so I plan to continue to combat any whining with telling her to use her words, because she really does a good job with it. I am amazed at my own ability to heal any minor owie with a kiss, which now comes requested as the offended body part is brought rapidly to my face for remedy. My favorite kisses are those for chins, I think. :)

Baby is re-approaching my ribs again, just out of sheer size, I think. I haven't had to take any tums at all for a couple of weeks now because s/he's sitting so much lower than Emily did. I am glad to be a little bit sore in my lower abdomen rather than feeling stretched from the inside!! And wow am I sore from yesterday's activities, and tired, too! Slept a full night plus an hour nap today. I don't have much for contractions, which is nice because knowing my first experience they don't do me any good anyway. I'm really easily out of breath, though, carrying Emily up a flight of stairs or getting up and down off the floor, which I seem to do a lot of these days. It gets to be overwhelming if I think that my current physical state will continue after the baby is born, but I know that this isn't forever. And even the post-partum healing will end, and I'll be probably more brainless but at least physically feel better! I just keep telling myself these things. If I can get through Halloween, everything will be all right!

I think I forgot to mention that my doctor said I am measuring a little bit big. She marveled that I could have a 9+lb baby without any stretch marks, and I said it's because ribcages don't stretch! I'm glad to know that my hunch about Emily's mismeasured size was right, and that my doctors are really taking her size into account when considering my care this time around. I may not need to cry at every appointment this time around!!

We sure are one lucky little family. :)

battling bedtime

Emily has all kinds of reasons to get out of bed, and tonight she had me fooled. I thought Travis was still upstairs when I heard the toilet flush, and realized that Travis was actually in the basement, where there is no toilet. I found Emily at the top of the stairs wearing nothing at all!! Going potty is her favorite excuse to get out of bed, followed by blowing her nose, getting a drink, and then no particular reason at all. I've been trying to walk the line between hard-nosed "get in bed you don't need whatever it is you think you do" and "Goodnight, I love you, sweetheart!" I don't want her to be upset trying to go to sleep, but I don't want her to think I'm any fun to be around after I say goodnight. It's tough.

Guess I'll post this now, since I got halfway through it the other night and then got called away... to put a girl back in bed!!

"Baby Sister Coming"

Emily had a good time today getting to know her little sibling. This afternoon, I was laying on the couch, and Travis was trying to show her how to put her ear on my tummy to hear the baby's heartbeat. She didn't really get it, but it was sure fun to watch her rub her face and her head on my tummy. Then she started talking about "Baby sister comin'." I told her it could be her little brother, but she preferred to say sister. Pretty cute!

I've caught a cold in the past week, which may explain my bad attitude lately. It's hard to feel good when you're getting sick, and the worst part of that is that I usually don't understand my horrible mood until the actual symptoms set in, and by then I've been ornery to everyone around me. It is also hard to remain in good spirits while experiencing a stuffy head, sore throat, and occasional wooziness. I took a 90-min nap today and it was fabulous, but it was still hard to get up and fix dinner later on. I am so glad we had no plans for this weekend. Next weekend is going to be exciting enough for us!!

Sucking it up

I've been looking all over for inspiring ways go get through these last few weeks. In trying to focus on the positives - at least this baby is carrying lower than Emily did. The foot that was lodged under my ribcage is actually a few inches lower and stretching skin instead, so while it's still painful, at least I can fight back. But, omg I'm tired. I haven't been eating a very good diet lately because I just don't have the energy to make anything good. I buy the ingredients, and then they spoil in my fridge and I throw them out. It's really sad.

But, we have been busy. We went to dinner two nights in a row at Travis's coworker's house, and she has all kinds of toys for her 1-year-old son. Emily had a great time, and I had a better time the second night because the incredibly immature 9 and 13-year-olds weren't there then and I didn't have to be in such a protective mode. It was nice to hang out with two other women who are expecting with a few weeks of me. Made me feel a little less sorry for myself. Tonight and tomorrow night, Travis has obligations for work, so Emily won't get to see him in the evenings. It's fine - tonight I invited Dan and a friend over to help move a desk into the van, and Emily was SO happy to see Dan! She giggled and was in a great mood the whole time he was here. He left, and she ran into a wall, leaving a big welt on her forehead. Jeez! Tomorrow is Megan's birthday, so we're going to go up to Ames for the party right after work. Emily helped me shop for birthday gifts today, and she had a great time in the toystore.

Emily is talking all the time now. I am really only catching a word here and there, but she yammers on and on, quite pleasantly. It's interesting to hear a conversation that isn't in any language at all! I wish I knew all of what she was talking about, especially when she's telling me why she's out of bed AGAIN, even though I thought she had been long asleep.

I suppose I should get a few things done before I turn in tonight. Or, at least put Emily back in bed... *sigh*

so tired

I am so exhausted. I can't believe I'll feel this way for 6 more weeks. Today in particular has been hard, which I think is because I pushed it too hard yesterday. I moved a bunch of things around the house, including boxes and stuff in the basement and transporting other things from the upstairs down to the basement. I got tired of waiting for Travis to get around to doing it, about which I did my best to not get annoyed because I know he's been working so hard on the floors and other things to finish up the kitchen. You should definitely check out the updated pictures - gorgeous! But the floors were a LOT of work - 3 days of pretty tedious labor, and he did a great job. I am so happy to have such a beautiful and functional kitchen.

But I'm also tired of how much work it has been. Our housecleaner came today and everything is looking so nice, so I'm just sitting and enjoying how nice it is to have a clean, tidy, beautiful house. But even getting ready for her to come is a lot of work, so that added to the physical workout I got yesterday. My hips hurt, probably because my body is doing that relaxing thing in order to prepare for this baby to come out. My lower back aches from carrying baby and from all the work yesterday, and my upper back aches from being unable to get comfortable at night. My ribs hurt from the physical assault going on all the time, and all my muscles from my belly button down through my hip flexors are sore, too. *sigh* I think that's all, though.

Thursday I'm going to go get a pedicure with my sister-in-law, and I am so excited! She and I used to run together, and since I've started this reproducing thing, we haven't gotten nearly the same kind of quality chat time in even though she's still training for half-marathons and such. And I can't reach my toes anymore so a pedicure is kind of necessary for me. We're going to this uber-classy spa in west des moines. I figure if I get one pedicure every 5 years, it's not going to be at some cheap place in the mall.

I'm a terrible mother - I am so annoyed with Emily for doing the most typical things. I had a cookie sheet with taco shells on it at the table tonight, and I was holding it over her head to scoop them off onto Travis's plate, and of course she grabbed the edge of the sheet!! It was only a 200° oven so I think it didn't really burn her, but it probably did hurt a little. Jeez, don't grab things that are hot! Don't run out into the street!! Stay in freaking bed and don't wander around in the dark upstairs! I'm tired of climbing stairs... I guess I'm just plain tired. But my house is lovely...

Freedom

So, Emily's Big Bed has given me and Travis as much to get used to as it has Emily. She really, really likes her bed. She likes getting up in the morning and coming into my room to snuggle with me until Trav gets out of the shower. She likes getting up at night to go potty one last time (which I've started saying NO to, in hopes that her desire to sleep in a dry diaper might mean she'll go potty as part of the bedtime routine instead of giving her an excuse to get up and wander after I say goodnight). She's really quiet, though, so we have the TV off at night and listen carefully for tiny footsteps. For the first time, I'm thankful that our house is so creaky!! But she doesn't roll out of bed and she is happy to nap there, too. And she'll tell you all about it if you ask her! Pretty awesome!

Funny story - I went upstairs to change into painting clothes the other night, and it had been dark and quiet up there for nearly half an hour. On my way back past her room, I heard her little voice say, behind me and quite loudly, "Morning!!" Scared the crap out of me. Her eyes were adjusted for the dark, but mine weren't! I couldn't see her at all, and her voice was like something out of a horror movie. I had to explain that it wasn't morning yet, it was still time for sleeping, and she went right to sleep. Travis, of course, heard the whole thing, including my very girly reaction, and thought it was hilarious.

We're getting closer to getting this house in order. Travis is caulking the sink tonight, so I'll be able to get out the Mr. Clean and really go over the countertops. Still waiting for the last section of countertop to be installed - hopefully this week. Travis is obsessing about how he'll do the floors this weekend, which means he's as excited about it as he is anxious about doing it right. I've been trying to keep things going, now that the painting is ALL DONE!! It means keeping tools and other things out of Emily's reach, which is pretty tough because she's very, very curious, and creative in how she will use whatever she finds. Then of course we're left with the endless list of odds-and-ends to really finish things - cabinet hardware, rehanging the pantry doors, etc.. I suppose we'll probably get through that right before we move out someday.

And of course, I'm just getting more and more pregnant! It was nice to go to work and sit on my butt all day today. I am just too tired to keep up with Emily!! I remember feeling this way the first time around, marveling that people can have full-time jobs and be pregnant more than once, but if it's a desk job, it's easier than chasing / entertaining / bathing / cooking for / carrying around a toddler. Baby is really making his/her presence known, too. Lots of kicking, shifting, and stretching going on in there... more of the latter two than the kicking. I'm pretty sure Baby is still head-down, and I am getting confident in my identification of which body part is assaulting me each time. It's weird to think about how soon I'll get to meet this person! I have so much to do before then - aack!

We went to get ice cream after supper on Sunday night - a fun little family outing. I absolutely love how Emily pronounces it: I-Kweams. She had a tiny little vanilla cone, and was thrilled by the experience. There was no convincing her to readjust the cone in her hand to help keep it from dripping - death grip. She talked about i-kweams all the way home from Amanda's today, while nodding very seriously, just adorable. "I-kweams. I-kweams! Mm-hmm. I-kweams." Yup, gotcha, hon!

Big girl bed!

Emily has transitioned out of her crib and into her big girl bed, or Big Bed as she calls it. She is currently napping there, so I hope to get this posted before she wakes up. She's spent 3 nights in the bed now, and the first night was a snap because she was thoroughly exhausted and hadn't really grasped how much fun it would be to get out of bed and run around. Yesterday morning, I was greeted at 6:08 with an excited little girl running into my bed because it was "Morning! Morning!" Technically, she was right, but I made her snuggle with me (such punishment) for a half hour until it was time to get up. Today, my alarm clock was "Potty!" She had tried to go by herself, and had taken off her diaper and pj bottoms, but wanted help getting up from the stepstool to the potty. Of course, she didn't go once i got there, but it's pretty cool that she is almost making the connection now. Timing, we need to work on, but I'll wait until I get a kitchen floor for her to piddle on, first. Anyway, she really likes her "Lellow" room, and it'll be even better once we get curtains put up. I'm pretty excited about those, since we picked out the fabric and her Grandma Sullivan is sewing them herself.

The kitchen is almost done, except for the floor, a little bit of painting, and about 1/3 of the countertops. Apparently, people whose sole business is to measure, cut, and install countertops managed to screw up two of their three job duties, so we have no countertop on the peninsula portion of the kitchen yet. But, all of the green is painted, the pantry is re-stocked, and the sink is functional! YAY!! Travis needed one more piece from the hardware store to hook up the garbage disposal and dishwasher, but he said that would be a snap to do tonight. Then next week the countertops should come, and the following weekend Travis will install the floor (which is currently in boxes in the dining room). I am so excited!

I hear a little girl, and she's probably wandering around upstairs. Gotta go see what she's up to.

Kitchen progress

If you'd like to see how our kitchen is coming along, check out the website below:

http://picasaweb.google.com/sullyjava/TheKitchenProject

I should've been taking pictures of Emily's new room and the downstairs den, but I didn't get "before" pictures so maybe I'll just add to this album when they're all done. The Sullivan house will look totally different than it did a few months ago once everything is complete!

Singing?

Okay, check out the video that I posted at Emily's picasa site. I don't want to be "that Mom," but I really think she is trying to sing on pitch! Unfortunately, this was the best video we could get because she gets camera-happy (CHEESE!!!!), but she sits and sings her (version of) ABC's and twinkle-twinkle all the time. I swear I hear pitches in there! Am I crazy? Wishfully imagining things? Or is this normal for an almost-2-year-old? I have no idea, but I love it. Just beautiful. :)

Sidetracked

Okay, so the pooping in the potty seemed to overall be an experience Emily did not enjoy, and she's been leery of the potty ever since. Oh well - she's still in diapers, so it's not like it's a bad time for a setback.

The remodeling is in full swing now. The kitchen floor has been torn up, and the dining room carpeting has been moved to the den in the basement. There's only a few small things to take care of in that room before Travis's desk can go in there, and then the guest bed can be moved downstairs. I have been painting Emily's room, so the border is all yellow and tomorrow during Emily's nap I'll roll out the walls - first coat. That room had such dark paint in it that all in all it'll take two coats of primer and two coats of paint to really look nice. Thursday, the new cabinets will be delivered here, and then on Saturday the demolition will begin. Emily and I will be in Rockford over the weekend to avoid the hubbub. I'm sure that's all the further that things will stay on track, so I won't bother with details until it actually comes true. The thing that worries me is that Travis wants to install the flooring by himself, which will be a whole weekend project, probably. The logical weekend to do it is Sept 12 - the ISU / Iowa football game. Gah!!!

I went to my last pilates class tonight, and it was good. I enjoyed getting a little exercise, just a little bit of exertion but mostly relaxation and focus on just what shape my body is these days. Baby likes to jump around most evenings starting at about 8:30. Last night I was asleep by 9:30, and woke up tireder than ever at 6:30 AM and had a screaming headache most of the day. To summarize: these days, I feel like crap. My ribs HURT, and I have an overall achey feeling like I have a fever, but no other symptoms. I'm exhausted and clumsy and feeling overwhelmed and unambitious all at the same time.

Right on schedule - baby's jumping!

Wow. Wow!!

I can't believe it - she actually did it. Shortly before bathtime tonight, Emily gave me a funny look, said she had to go potty, and then she actually pooped in the potty!!! My jaw is still on the floor... amazing!!! Travis gave her three skittles for a reward, and I don't know that she's ever had skittles before so she really got a kick out of that. She asked for more, and we explained to her that if she can poop in the potty again she'll get more skittles. I guess I'll have to stock my purse and the diaper bag with a stash of skittles, because I sure don't want to discourage her out of my own carelessness. I just can't believe it. She wasn't really that impressed with herself, either, except to comment that it "tinks." She was right - it was really awful, and I thought of an acquaintance of mine that was bribing her 3-year-old son to poop in the potty and when he finally did, she threw up while she was cleaning up the potty. I can't say I blame her. :)

That was a really long paragraph about poop. I so apologize! But WOW, right??

Travis has started the remodeling - the backsplash is gone and he's repairing the drywall behind it, and the new sink was delivered today. We've got Emily's new room primed and ready for a coat of pretty yellow paint. Saturday morning, he takes out the existing kitchen floor while Emily and I go to the zoo with some other young moms from Deere. It still baffles me that by the time Emily turns 2, we'll have new kitchen cabinets, countertops, and floor including hard flooring in the dining room; carpet in the room downstairs that we've taken to calling the den; Emily will have a new room with a big-girl bed; and maybe she'll be potty trained! Crazy!

inching closer...

Okay, so I know I've posted a lot about Emily's relationship with the potty, so this may be old to hear about, but I am so proud of her today because she went four times!!!! I changed a wet diaper after her nap, and she kept it dry all evening so I just kept putting it back on her (that's not gross, is it?) And the astonishing part is, the first time today was at her suggestion - AT TARGET! It was like she saw the restrooms right as we walked in and decided it would be a good idea to go before we got into the store. Incredible. I thought for sure she'd get distracted or intimidated but that it would be good practice to go through the motions, but she really went! I then felt a little guilty for not taking her seriously when she had suggested it earlier in the day at Fareway. I guess I'd better scope out where the bathrooms are there, too!

I am hoping things go okay tonight for her, because she hardly ate any supper at all. She had probably 3 oz. of milk and maybe 8 rotini noodles. She kept suggesting pancakes or fruit, but I want to teach her that she's gotta eat what I made for supper, and if she gets enough of that and is still hungry then we can have bread and jelly or whatever. I hope she's not getting sick, because she fell right asleep tonight when I laid her down, instead of pursuing the 45 minutes of singing and playing that has become standard over the past week. I should probably go to bed now so I'm ready if her empty tummy keeps her up in the night. I think she might have plateaued on her growth a little, cuz her enormous appetite (and accompanying output) have seemed to scale back to closer to appropriate for her size.

I really do enjoy my days at home with her. Things were quiet and dull today, but Tuesday she kept suggesting fun things we should do together, like going to the park, reading stories, playing my violin, and playing in the sandbox. I think some of it is that she's applying her daycare routine to home, and I'm just a little slow on picking up on it. :) "Duh, Mom - we always go to the park mid-morning, go swimming after lunch, then read stories and have a nap. Try to keep up!!"

Baby has been jumping around so much tonight, it's crazy. I did a lot of physical activity during Emily's nap this afternoon, so maybe s/he didn't get any exercise then while I was sorting through maternity clothes and trying to empty the closets in Emily's new room. I've been battling a sore left hip, and trying to stretch or do something for relief. I guess my ligaments are already loosening, getting ready for delivery. It's weird - on the one hand, I'll be really ready to not be pregnant anymore, but I'm definitely feeling more like I'm glad to have nearly 3 months left. I know I'll be really uncomfortable by the time baby comes, but there's so much that needs to happen between now and then that I'm okay with there being that much time. I haven't really wrapped my mind around how I am going to throw 100% in two directions... it kills me to think of giving up some time with Emily, but at the same time I don't want to "shortchange" Baby #2 just because older sister needs me. I definitely need the next 3 months to worry about that some more. :)

26 weeks

Okay, since it's been requested, here's the belly at 26 weeks:

I used the same setup as two years ago, but didn't bother to dig out the same clothes. You'll have to live with it. :) Baby is moving so much these days that you can watch my belly twitch sometimes. I've got so much to get done before the baby comes that I'm really not all that anxious for him/her to arrive, except for the lingering rib pain. Other than that, I'm content to waddle around and get done what I can. Our house projects are such a hole-in-the-bucket story, but we're getting things on the top of the list knocked so things should go smoothly here over the next few weeks.

Emily had a fun day with cousins again today. I absolutely love talking to her about her experiences, and knowing that the single words she tells me are actually a whole story and contain an emotion along with it. We went to Indianola last night to see the balloon lift at the festival going on there ("boon!"). Her favorite had "tars" (stars) on it and said "phwooosh" when the flames lit. Then she went and saw the "Cows! Moo!" that were in a nearby pasture, and did "somsas" (sommersaults) in the grass with her cousins. Today we went "simming" at Ashby Park, but then we had to say "byebye" to "cousins." She's a great storyteller!

Tonight, Travis and I watched Emily as she told us about the contents of her Ring Around the Rosie book. She told us practically the whole song ("pocket", "Ashees," "all fall down") with rhythm, even! Then she opened the book, and got interested in telling us about the ABC's (letters) on each page. It was so neat to see her demonstrate her understanding that letters make words and words are what we read, and then sing a good portion of the ABC's. Just awesome. :)

Imagining things

I don't think I've mentioned it in my blog yet, but my little girl has been developing quite the imagination lately! She's been very much enjoying playing with the older girls at Amanda's (4 and 5 yrs old) with the beauty salon and their kitchen, and with the boys and their pretend tools. Emily is apparently playing with the tools properly, while the boys run around pretending they're guns and swords. :) At home, we have her shopping cart that she adores, and she takes endless care of her babydolls, making sure they're fed and wrapped up properly. But I think her most recent activities really show her creativity, and I'll post some pictures to prove it (eventually!).

She and her cousin Megan decided that the little blue tub that holds all the stuffed animals was actually a swimming pool, and they were having fun jumping in and pretending to "PASH!!" in the water. But first, you have to fill the pool up with water, and the most logical thing in the toyroom that looks like a hose is the cord to the keyboard that I brought up for Emily to play with. I thought she might use the keyboard to pretend she's using a computer, like I do (and so I can tell her not to play with my keyboard but to play with hers), but instead, the cord is a hose. She "fills" up the tub ("pschhhhh") and then climbs in and wiggles around - so cute! Today, she came over to me and pretended to wash my hair. When I asked if she was putting soap in it, she got a big grin and said "Soap!! Wash!!" and rubbed my head all over with her little hands. Then she "rinsed" me off, and "dried" my hair with her baby blanket. She was having so much fun! I was feeling a little guilty that I don't have toys that are geared for imaginative playing, but maybe it requires more imagination to adapt things for alternate purposes instead of having obvious uses? I don't know, it was sure fun to see her little brain working like that.

I got to clean up buttprints off of the bench on the porch yesterday because Emily removed a soiled diaper and had sat up there before coming to tell me that she needed a change. I guess, "change" isn't the right word - a cleanup and a new diaper, but she had taken care of the removal herself. She did it again today, but at least this time she came to tell me as she was taking off her diaper. Gah!!! How do I convert this into pooping in the potty?? I could scold her into keeping her diaper on, but I think it's actually a step towards potty training to be so averse to wearing a dirty diaper, and being so aware of its purpose (and the alternatives available). The only thing I've thought of is to not flush a diaper's contents anymore, and use that as incentive to get it in the right place the first time, but who knows if that's a concept that will get through to her. It's interesting to try to imagine how she interprets the things I try to teach her.

My ribs hurt. :( maybe another cookie will help....

Ragbrai 2009

So, Ragbrai 2009 has come and gone. Everyone had a good time with our respective vacations, although they varied in their levels of relaxation. My sister got to bike the first day of Ragbrai, which she really enjoyed even though she had to borrow my bike for the day. Hers decided to try to stay in Michigan by falling off the roof rack of her minivan in Kalamazoo. Even though it landed in the interstate at 70mph, it bounced into the median without hitting a car or getting run over - fortunately. It just needs new handlebars and a new seat, so she lucked out on that one.

The girls and I had a really good time on Saturday and Sunday while everyone else biked. Emily loves, loves, loves her cousins. :) She jumped into the party right away, and by the end of the week she was starting to stand up for herself a little more, although she's also picked up on a few bad habits too. I know those girls are going through a lot of stress, and they're acting out by doing things they wouldn't normally do, like fussing instead of talking, screaming at each other, and jumping off furniture and stairs. But I made it clear that the rules at my house are the same as the rules at home, and they got into a groove here. After Jenny came back from biking, we went up to Rockford, and started all over again. Grandma was a tad more lenient in allowing fussing at first, but she got into the swing of it too. I felt bad for Amanda today, though, since Emily seems to be needing to relearn the rules at her house. It was weird to pick up Emily and have anything to report - she's been such a good little girl!!! Today she was on the stairs and standing on furniture, among other "displays of independence". It was kind of embarassing, actually, because I was starting to feel good about having passed my weeklong Parenting Bootcamp where my beginner parenting skills were continually put to the test, and here my own kid is out of line. The week did get to be frustrating, but I could tell that Jenny was frustrated too and I know that that degree of misbehavior was out of character for the girls. And of course, for the most part they were delightful and hilarious and wonderful to be around. We just set the bar high, I guess!!

The guys had a good time biking, too. I've seen lots of photos on facebook and heard lots of stories, but I guess I'm getting old because I wasn't that bummed to miss out on all of it. Some of it, yes, totally bummed, but not all of it. I guess this is when I get insecure and figure I would've either been in the wrong place at the wrong time to be part of the fun, or I would've been too tired or feeling like I should've been somewhere else, taking care of someone or whatever. I asked Trav when my weeklong break would come, and he asked when I wanted one... I don't think it's possible for me to get a break. My work travels with me wherever I go. This pregnancy is exhausting!! I'm so big and uncomfortable already - it's depressing that I have so far to go. I guess I don't handle being this shape very well. The baby is moving around SO MUCH that it's distracting and getting to be very uncomfortable. If only I could have some ribs removed...

Travis scheduled the installation of the new kitchen cabinets for Aug 31. If anyone is going to rob us, they should do it before then because I do NOT want to deal with this again!! He's going to have his dad (and maybe my dad?) come help gut the old kitchen, move appliances, etc. on the weekend beforehand, and then spend a few days that week installing the new floor. I am so excited!!!

I need to get started on Emily's room. I thought maybe I'd go to a fabric store or Penney's or something to find curtains and/or a bedroom set that I like for her, and then try to find paint to complement. We have a good start on what we want for furniture, and it's just a matter of whether to go with the cheaper chinese-made stuff or the slightly better slovenian made stuff. I'm so tired of cheap crappy chinese garbage, it might be worth the money.

I guess that's the news here. Happy summer, everyone!

What a preggo I am

My coworkers have started commenting about how pregnant I look, which is satisfying because I really DO look pregnant!! I have quite the little belly and I've gained 15 (or 16 or 17) lbs so far. The heartburn and sideaches have already started, so it's going to be a fun next 4 months. I am appreciating that my biking had really helped me stay in shape with my first pregnancy, because I'm feeling pretty worn out these days. Although, I guess I do remember being too tired to want to bike in training for that ridiculous adventure. I'm glad I did, and I'm glad I'm not this time. Perfect!

Emily put together her first sentence today at Ms. Amanda's. She said Swimming's fun!!! Over and over and over. She will parrot anything you say to her, and it's possible to have conversations with her about things she likes and things she has done. Tonight, we were able to tell her that she'd get some fruit if she ate her potatoes (we aren't even bribing her with dessert yet - so that bodes well for getting her to eat a few veggies here and there). And, she helped me pick up toys with things like "Put the puzzle pieces in the box and then we'll read your favorite book." I think it's neat that she can respond to "if / then" statements. That takes some complex thought and understanding, and she totally has it down.

The past weekend was interesting - my dad's extended family had a gathering at my aunt's house in Waukee, so we drove over there after Emily's nap. There were 9 little girls under the age of 10, plus two little 3-year-old boys. Emily had a great time! Travis had a good time too - when we got there, they were passing out shots of Jaegermeister, followed soon by shots of SoCo and then Jell-O shots. The kids were on tremendous sugar highs from all the cookies available, and most of the adults were heartily drinking. It was definitely a party of self-indulgences! :) Emily loved seeing everybody, and she was again taken aback by my uncle's similarity in appearance to my dad. Don isn't Grandpa - he's the faux Pa. (Har har har.) Anyway, it was a nice way to be social on a weekend where we didn't have to travel.

Next weekend, Ragbrai starts. Jenny, Dave, and Travis will be on the bus to Council Bluffs on Saturday, which means that Julie, Sarah, Megan, and Emily will all be at my house with me until Jenny and Dave come back Sunday night from their single day of biking. I'm looking forward to it, with a bit of apprehension (gotta do some activity- and meal-planning!) and excitement. Emily has been asking for Sarah and Megan every day since she last saw them.

Now I have to go pick up my brother and sister-in-law from the airport as they return from 10 days in Europe. It sounds like it was an incredible trip! Good thing I have people like them to live vicariously through.

Potty Training, Take Two

We had the holiday weekend at home, so with four days to figure this out, I decided to give Emily another shot at potty training. I'd say we had mixed to not-so-great results... but not altogether terrible. Last night, she used the potty three times (at my suggestion) at a friend's house, and she seemed to know exactly what she was doing and be so pleased with herself. I had high hopes for today, since we had the whole day at home to figure it out and earlier in the day she had gone twice without me suggesting it. Today went well until she pooped in her underwear, and then the game was pretty much off for the day. We sat and read books on the potty for probably 45 minutes before she finally peed on the carpet... and I gave up for the day. She wore diapers until she finally pooped again in the evening, and then wanted to wear her "Melmo"s, which I was glad to hear that she wasn't totally opposed two wearing undies after all this. I'm glad I bought 3 different kinds of undies, because she really took a liking to the Elmo ones. I'm not sure how to handle tomorrow when she's at daycare. I think we made enough progress over the last 4 days that I don't want to just give in and go back to diapers completely. I'm afraid if I do that, I'll miss a window of opportunity where she's able to try something new and not be too stubborn to leave behind diapers. We'll see what Amanda thinks tomorrow, I guess, but I think I'll keep trying the next three mornings next week.

The funniest part of potty training is that I discovered that Emily has nearly no poop face at all. She was standing 3 feet from me as I talked to her, wearing only a shirt, and suddenly there was poop on the floor behind her, as though it had fallen from the sky. She seemed a little surprised to see it there, and I tried to explain to her that with a little warning it could fall right into the potty. It was certainly a weird experience for her, but really, really funny to me, somehow. It was such a surprise!! What the heck, where did that come from?? It's too bad, though, because the lesson didn't really stick for her.

All in all, it was a really fun weekend, even with the exhaustion of sitting on/near the potty for hours and hours. Travis got a couple of bike rides in, and we saw some friends. I did all of the laundry and grocery shopping, so it was productive too. And there was only one bottle rocket in our yard this morning, so for all the explosions going on last night in our neighborhood, not too bad.

Run ragged!

What a crazy month it has been! After all the family gatherings a few weeks ago, we took the next two weekends on the road, too. We went to Minneapolis for a wedding of two friends and had a really great time reminiscing and seeing everybody that we miss so much from our time up north. Cute pictures are posted at picasa already. The trip was a little rough on Emily, who decided her carseat isn't comfy enough for a real nap.

This weekend, we went to the Des Moines Arts Festival on Friday night, and although it was a nice way to kick off the weekend, it was rough on Emily. She couldn't sit still to eat anything (fair food, walking around), so by the time we got home and tried to feed her real food in her chair, she was too tired to focus on eating. Needless to say, she was up early, calling for breakfast from her crib! We left Saturday noon for Barnum and went to Travis's 10-year class reunion. Emily stayed at her grandparents and had a really fun evening with them and her uncles. The next day, we went to mass with his family and then had lunch together before leaving town during her nap. Travis let me sleep in Sunday morning, getting up with Emily at 6:30. I woke up at 8 - wow!! What a treat!!

Emily is really talking these days. She will try just about anything you say and point to, and give it a pretty successful try. She has also discovered swimming, and LOVES it! We took her to the hotel pool up in Minneapolis and it took her about 2 minutes to go from not being sure at all to having the time of her life. She kicked, she splashed, she even put her face in the water! She didn't really like that, but she wasn't at all freaked out. She tried to blow bubbles, and she loved "jumping" off the edge of the pool into her dad's arms. She was in her swimsuit every day for a week, having a great time in the kiddie pool and sprinkler at Amanda's. As she was unwinding tonight for bed, I heard her calling out for "svimming..." And boy does she look great in a swimsuit. :) what a cute little bod!!

My ribs have already started aching. I was so hoping that the permanent stretch in my ribcage would leave me a few more weeks without this ache, but it set in at right the same point as the first time. I am trying to improve my posture throughout the day, because it's worse in the evenings after a day of slouching, I guess. I am also starting to notice that sleeping on my back doesn't feel the greatest, but I do it a lot and I remember it was hard to stay on my side the first time around. So, out of the 40 weeks of pregnancy, I've had about 10 that weren't overshadowed by nausea, exhaustion, or discomfort. And that counts the 2 weeks before I was actually pregnant! (during which time I did BRR ride. ha!)

We are starting to get ready for Ragbrai around here. I am not going to participate at all this year, which is a hard thing to swallow for me but I just can't see that it's worth the hardship for me to try to make things work. That, and the only biking I've been able to do this year is 5 miles to my brother's house and back. I really liked the benefits of biking while pregnant, but it wouldn't've mattered this summer - you can't bike if you're the mother of a toddler and wife of a biker / workaholic. Pretty discouraging, but I'm still having a great summer, so I guess my hobbies are just changing. I'm such a grown-up now... if I didn't like being a mom so much, I'd be pretty concerned about it!

One memory

Here's a memory that I just thought of, and I don't want to forget. My cousin Matt told us all this today, and he's got Grandpa's storytelling gift so I hope my memory can recall what he said verbatim:

"We were talking at Christmas one year, at Carol's house, and Grandpa says to me, 'You know, Matt, getting old is really tough.' 'Yeah, I'll bet, Grandpa.' 'Cause up here, I'm still 18, but I've got the body of a 92-year-old.' And then he says, 'and what happened to my hips?!? I wear suspenders, you know, and I know I've got highwater pants, but I just can't find my hips anymore!!'"

Okay, rats, it's not as funny once I write it down. But it was a nice memory, one of many.

Crazy

This weekend turned out to be crazier than I could have imagined. We went out to Panora on Thursday afternoon, and had a really nice time with almost all of my maternal extended family on Friday. Saturday morning, we were remarking at how much fun we were all having, and how we should do this every year instead of Christmas. But then, my dad got a phone call that his dad was doing much worse, and my sister and I went to talk to him. By the time we found him, he'd gotten another call, and Grandpa was gone. My parents packed up right away and drove up to Holstein, but we stayed to finish out the weekend. It was hard to be having such a good time (sailing, canoeing, swimming, eating, chatting) when we knew my dad was off helping his mom plan a funeral.

There was the standard exhaustion, of course; Emily took pretty good naps but I couldn't make the room dark enough for her to sleep past 6 AM. Plus, the last night we were there, she woke herself - not once, but twice - with poopy diapers. Incredible. I think she had been eating way more than usual because she can't tell me the difference between hungry and tired, so when she's as exhausted as she was she just kept thinking that more food would make her feel better. I can't blame her - I'm the same way!! So, Sunday was really not fun, as we had to clean the cabins, pack everything, and say goodbye, which I suppose is favorable to having some MEAN diaper rash!! We got home shortly after lunch on Sunday, and Emily took a nap at home while I unpacked, put food away, and re-packed for a trip to Holstein. After she woke up, my sister's family arrived and stayed overnight at my house. They spent Monday morning at the Science Center while Trav and Emily and I did our regular Monday morning routine; we all left for Holstein that afternoon.

It was really a lovely funeral, if there is such a thing. Grandma insisted that the funeral should be Tuesday morning, and she was really strong throughout. It's weird - I can't think of any other time that I have seen every single one of my cousins in such a short span of time. It was hard to say goodbye to Grandpa, but it was even harder to see everyone else so sad, including Grandma, my dad, and his siblings. We did our best to really celebrate his life, because if you think about it, passing away in your sleep after 94 years of a life full of wonderful family, a job that he loved (farming) in a town full of friends, it's really the way to go. I looked around at the family today, and I really think he had good reason to be proud of us. He really couldn't hear much at all for many, many years, but he loved to just enjoy the rest of us getting together and laughing, and we did our share of that today. He could tell the funniest, best stories, of which I heard many retold this weekend. There were only a few pictures of him that the family could put together for a memory board, but they were all very meaningful with a story behind them. He and Grandma loved to dance, and I will always treasure dancing with him at my brother's wedding 4 years ago. I don't know if he ever danced after that, actually. Most of all, I really think my dad can feel like he did everything he could. I was most worried that he'd be kicking himself for one thing or another when it's all said and done, and that he'd never forgive himself of that guilt. But I think he's okay.

In other news, the baby is really kicking these days, mostly in the evenings. Travis and I sat on the couch enjoying a few good hard kicks the other night. I really like this stage, where it's a gentle reminder of who I've got growing there, and not an assault on me. I'm wearing maternity clothes about 80% of the time now, so yeah, I'm really showing! Ultrasound is on Thursday, so that'll be really fun, too.

The past 5 days have been absolutely crazy. I feel so bad for Emily that we're going to throw her in the car on Friday afternoon to spend two days in Minnesota, and then spend the following weekend in Barnum. But she's a trooper; she was absolutely wonderful for the entire weekend, no matter what we threw at her. And when we get back from Barnum, I think we'll give that potty training another go. She peed on the floor tonight after her bath, and I pointed out to her that that's what she should do in the potty instead of on the floor, and she thought and thought and thought about it. Then later, she pointed to that spot on the floor and said "no, no, no!" She's getting there. :)

And the fun begins...

The next three weekends are going to be CRAZY. This weekend, we're going out to Lake Panorama to celebrate my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. All of my extended family - Coulson side - will be there, including Emily's cousins, and we'll be there for 3 full days. The next weekend, we're traveling to Minneapolis to celebrate a wedding of a few friends from our days up there. The weekend after that is Travis's 10-year class reunion, so we'll be in Barnum that day. So, I had hoped for a nice quiet weekend at home to mentally prepare for all of this, and I guess technically I got that, except Travis went canoeing and camping Saturday and part of Sunday. It was harder than I thought it would be, being alone with Emily for that long, and I was exhausted by the time he got home. It would've been easier had I not known that he was hanging out with our friends (including MY family!) and having a really great time. So, we had a little chat when he got home, and I went out and bought expensive shoes. Just when I think I'm not a real girl. :)

The potty training experiment last week didn't go so great, but I had my expectations set low so I suppose I wouldn't say it was that disappointing. She peed twice on the floor and once on my lap. The last time, she was standing right next to the toilet, and said, "Uh oh..." So, I took it as a learning experience for her, to know what it feels like to go without a diaper on, and to learn that that's not a good thing. Those are things to learn, so, success, right? After her afternoon nap, she actually was willing to sit on the potty again, and she did go in the potty!! So, another success! Since then, she's been in diapers, but she LOVES to read one particular book about going potty, and it's about 3/4 of the time that if I suggest sitting on the potty she'll get all excited and run after it. The rest of the time, she says no, and I just let it drop. She hasn't actually gone any time since then, but I always tell her she did a great job and how proud I am of her. She likes sitting backwards on her potty upstairs, which is just a little adaptor seat on the big toilet. It's pretty funny to see. We're still working on learning not to Dip, Dip, Dip anything EVER in the potty, which may end up being more frustrating than learning to actually go. Eh, whatever. I don't mind spending the whole summer like this, cuz I think she's learning, little by little. At some point, I'll stick her in big-kid underwear for the day (which she loves to put on, btw) and she'll put it all together. Not yet, but perhaps before she turns 2. We'll see!

Emily has bunny ears on a headband, and a similar flower headband. If she puts one on, then I get to be the other. :) She's so fun to play with! Today, she did a great job of self-play, both in the car and at home. She got a new little shopping cart yesterday and she has spent nearly every waking moment after receipt of that pushing it around with her favorite doll in the front basket. She also likes to wear my old purse when doing so - adorable! I should get those pictures posted...

Being tested

Emily was really pushing my buttons tonight. We had a crazy weekend, which I'll describe more, so I don't know if it was weird for her to be home after being at Amanda's all day, or if she didn't eat enough while she was there, or if she was just plain exhausted, but MAN she was whiney tonight!! Maybe she's just practicing being two, who knows. Every little thing that she wanted (markers, nailclippers, pens, me holdling her) that sometimes we allow in moderation, she would not take No or distractions as an answer. And even if she's unhappy sometimes, she doesn't melt down like she did tonight. Unbelievable. But I didn't snap, at her or at Travis, who decided it was the perfect time to read up on the news while I wrestled Emily AND tried to fix dinner. I'll try to be even more graceful next time - practice, practice, practice.

This weekend, we went up to Barnum on Friday night, and had a nice visit with Travis's folks. Early the next morning, we drove to Ida Grove, and met up with my parents and a few of my dad's cousins who were visiting with their 95-year-old mother from California. I've decided to model my life so I can end up as healthy and charming as my great-aunt Anna - wow. To see her, you'd guess she's maybe 80 years old, probably 75. We had a nice breakfast with them, and then headed up to Cherokee where my Grandma was with my Grandpa in the hospital. He had some high potassium levels that had put him into bad condition, and he didn't wake up the whole time we were there. Emily did her best screaming in the hallway, and still nothing. Apparently he was doing much, much better on Sunday, but we had to go back on Saturday so I didn't get to talk to him. I kind of felt like I said my goodbye to him; I sure hope I was wrong. That was really tough, especially seeing how hard this is for my grandma and my dad. We traveled back to Barnum during Emily's nap, and had dinner with Trav's folks before heading back to Des Moines. It was an emotionally draining weekend, seeing my grandpa slowly slipping away, seeing nearly all my extended family, trying to keep Emily safe in an unfamiliar house and calm enough to get to sleep at a decent time, and failing at the latter two. I don't see how you can laugh at a little girl who is scared silly after she tips over backwards in a chair that she hadn't ever sat in before, and why my schedule for her can be pooh-poohed as though I don't really know what she needs. I was so frustrated that I couldn't leave her in the care of anybody else for a second without her getting into something dangerous and/or hearing her scream a few minutes later. But I kept my cool, remembering that her grandparents are rusty at handling a toddler, new at being grandparents, and it doesn't mean she isn't wholeheartedly loved. But still frustrating to me... constant vigilance in an effort to protect her is so exhausting.

Tomorrow is a big adventure for Emily - potty training! We've been preparing for a while, giving her time to sit on her potty with or without a diaper, and talking about getting changed right after she goes, and her favorite part, practicing flushing. Tonight before bed, we read a book about a little girl who learns to go potty, and we read it nearly 3 times through with much interest from Emily. Then, I asked her if she wanted to try to go potty before she got her jammies on, and she was all excited and took off for the bathroom, and she actually peed!!!! She gave me the biggest, prettiest smile when she realized what she had done. She was so proud of herself!! I have high hopes for tomorrow, but I keep telling myself that we have a huge stash of diapers and it's totally, totally fine to go back to diapers if she gets frustrated. I don't want to give her a complex about it, so I am trying to do everything I can to make this fun and not stressful. If it turns into a stressor, we'll quit, no biggie. But after that smile tonight, I'm pretty encouraged. The funniest part of this so far has been teaching Emily that toilet paper goes into the potty and stays there - her first attempt at dropping it in was accompanied by an enthusiastic "Dip! Dip! Dip!" I didn't see anything in any of my prep reading about how to teach No Dipping in the Potty. That must be Emily's special twist. :)

Posting goofup - duh.

The previous post was supposed to appear yesterday, but I goofed and it was posted on another of the blogs that I post on instead. Eek! It's kind of blabberdy, so here's a more brief posting with fun news!

I felt the baby move!! I was trying to get to sleep last night (it's stupid - I am SO exhausted and yet there are nights when I cannot fall asleep. it's awful!) and after I turned over, I felt a whole bunch of movement right up under my ribcage, all fluttery! I had thought maybe I felt something at pilates in the morning while laying on my stomach, but I wasn't sure. But this was definitely baby. I've felt a few other things today, which are probably just gas, but it's neat to think that this kid is definitely developing! yay!

News from my other child - Emily peed in the potty yesterday! She is really smart about knowing that the potty is for sitting on and she's starting to put together that you take off the diaper to sit on the potty. While her bath was filling last night, I suggested that she sit on the potty and see if she had to pee, and she did!! She stood up and looked behind her, as though, "what was that?? what did I do??" I am so proud of her! Today we went to babies'r'us and bought more potty training supplies, including 3 packages of big girl undies. They're so tiny!! Hilarious to see, really. I have emailed Amanda, her sitter, to see if she has any insights to offer as to when to start in on potty training, since I really don't know what I'm doing besides introducing it to her and staying 100% upbeat. I am thinking I'll try to find some good books on potty training at the library, too, and get a little bit informed before I start in. She's got such good groundwork that I don't want to throw her off track at this point!

It's been a beautiful weekend here. We were at a friend's housewarming party tonight, and there were 3 other little girls who were within 2 months of Emily's age (older and younger) and a little boy who just turned 2. She had a fantastic time, and was so well-behaved! They're all really nice kids, but Emily just shines. I know I'm biased, but she looks so beautiful and expressive and engaging, even next to these really nice little kids. I'm so proud of my little girl. :)

many, many events

A lot has happened since I last posted! I had a fantastic birthday this year, with a visit from friends and German chocolate cake to boot. We celebrated a friend's second birthday last weekend, and had a good time playing with two 2-year-olds and a 1-year-old. Emily is just as tall as the 2-year-olds, so it's weird to see people her size who are speaking so much more and clearly, although she's doing an amazing job of adding to her vocabulary. She's even choosing to use her words now over whining, which I am SO excited about!! yay!!

We went to a friend's wedding last weekend in Ames, and we were able to get a visit to Mommo and Poppo's house. Emily is quite fond of her great grandparents, and it's definitely mutual. The wedding dance was fun, too, and yielded my favorite picture of Emily with Travis, dancing on his toes. Then, this week, we drove up to Rockford for a few days to visit my parents and hang out while Travis traveled to California for work. Again, many more cute pictures! Emily was so excited to see the cows - lots of spontaneous falsetto moo moo moo-ing, even though they were out in the pasture and pretty quiet. My dad took her down to meet his most friendly cow, Norman, who has always been strangely personable. She let Emily pet her on the nose, and let me tell you, Emily was one thrilled little girl!! My mom's singing group came to rehearse, and Emily really enjoyed that. She also enjoyed the piano lessons that my mom gave; one little girl let Emily play the top note on the piano to top off her arpeggio exercises. She's had her first piano lesson!!

The thing Emily liked least about visiting Rockford was sleeping. She couldn't settle down at night and was up at the crack of dawn every morning, despite heavy blankets on the windows and a soothing windstorm that roared for nearly our entire visit (30mph sustained winds! insane!). She took pretty good naps, but I had trouble using those to keep up with my own sleep, so I am now sick this weekend. It's a beautiful day, and Trav is out biking, but I stayed home and slept for an hour and a half. I have tried so hard to stay rested and keep ahead of things that it's really frustrating to get sick anyway. I guess it's better if I get sick than Emily, although I can't remember if she's ever been sick without passing it to me, so it's better just me than both of us. Last night, we drove up to Ames to hear my mom's singing group perform, and it was a really good time. We saw some friends who have kids a little older than Emily, and we had a fun visit. I am really impressed with my mom's group, which consists of 3 other local ladies that I've known my entire life, almost. What was neatest about it was seeing my mom be so confident and successful. She would tell you that it's just a show, but when you do well at something and smile while you're doing it, it can't help but sink in a little. It felt good to see her shine!