Being tested

Emily was really pushing my buttons tonight. We had a crazy weekend, which I'll describe more, so I don't know if it was weird for her to be home after being at Amanda's all day, or if she didn't eat enough while she was there, or if she was just plain exhausted, but MAN she was whiney tonight!! Maybe she's just practicing being two, who knows. Every little thing that she wanted (markers, nailclippers, pens, me holdling her) that sometimes we allow in moderation, she would not take No or distractions as an answer. And even if she's unhappy sometimes, she doesn't melt down like she did tonight. Unbelievable. But I didn't snap, at her or at Travis, who decided it was the perfect time to read up on the news while I wrestled Emily AND tried to fix dinner. I'll try to be even more graceful next time - practice, practice, practice.

This weekend, we went up to Barnum on Friday night, and had a nice visit with Travis's folks. Early the next morning, we drove to Ida Grove, and met up with my parents and a few of my dad's cousins who were visiting with their 95-year-old mother from California. I've decided to model my life so I can end up as healthy and charming as my great-aunt Anna - wow. To see her, you'd guess she's maybe 80 years old, probably 75. We had a nice breakfast with them, and then headed up to Cherokee where my Grandma was with my Grandpa in the hospital. He had some high potassium levels that had put him into bad condition, and he didn't wake up the whole time we were there. Emily did her best screaming in the hallway, and still nothing. Apparently he was doing much, much better on Sunday, but we had to go back on Saturday so I didn't get to talk to him. I kind of felt like I said my goodbye to him; I sure hope I was wrong. That was really tough, especially seeing how hard this is for my grandma and my dad. We traveled back to Barnum during Emily's nap, and had dinner with Trav's folks before heading back to Des Moines. It was an emotionally draining weekend, seeing my grandpa slowly slipping away, seeing nearly all my extended family, trying to keep Emily safe in an unfamiliar house and calm enough to get to sleep at a decent time, and failing at the latter two. I don't see how you can laugh at a little girl who is scared silly after she tips over backwards in a chair that she hadn't ever sat in before, and why my schedule for her can be pooh-poohed as though I don't really know what she needs. I was so frustrated that I couldn't leave her in the care of anybody else for a second without her getting into something dangerous and/or hearing her scream a few minutes later. But I kept my cool, remembering that her grandparents are rusty at handling a toddler, new at being grandparents, and it doesn't mean she isn't wholeheartedly loved. But still frustrating to me... constant vigilance in an effort to protect her is so exhausting.

Tomorrow is a big adventure for Emily - potty training! We've been preparing for a while, giving her time to sit on her potty with or without a diaper, and talking about getting changed right after she goes, and her favorite part, practicing flushing. Tonight before bed, we read a book about a little girl who learns to go potty, and we read it nearly 3 times through with much interest from Emily. Then, I asked her if she wanted to try to go potty before she got her jammies on, and she was all excited and took off for the bathroom, and she actually peed!!!! She gave me the biggest, prettiest smile when she realized what she had done. She was so proud of herself!! I have high hopes for tomorrow, but I keep telling myself that we have a huge stash of diapers and it's totally, totally fine to go back to diapers if she gets frustrated. I don't want to give her a complex about it, so I am trying to do everything I can to make this fun and not stressful. If it turns into a stressor, we'll quit, no biggie. But after that smile tonight, I'm pretty encouraged. The funniest part of this so far has been teaching Emily that toilet paper goes into the potty and stays there - her first attempt at dropping it in was accompanied by an enthusiastic "Dip! Dip! Dip!" I didn't see anything in any of my prep reading about how to teach No Dipping in the Potty. That must be Emily's special twist. :)