Audrey had a record-length freak-out yesterday. It lasted, I'm not kidding, 2 hours and 45 minutes. Twice, she settled down, fell asleep, then woke up screaming again after about 20 minutes of rest. It was the entire evening. I was FINALLY able to snap her out of her state by an ingenius tactic: I cried. I finally got the point where I could have her in my arms, since she was writhing and thrashing around for much of it, so a hug was feeling pretty good. I was feeling guilty because she was in such a state and I couldnt' do anything about it, so I started crying a bit. When she heard me, she stopped, and finally said the first thing she'd said in hours (instead of howling): "It's okay, Mom. It'll be all right." Just exactly the words I had been telling her for hours. Seeing that she was now acting human again, I kept up the tears, this time just to see if I could get her completely calmed down, by asking her how I should go about stopping crying, if maybe she could show me how a deep breath worked, and it totally worked. It was such a relief. Not only was I glad to have the awful howling stop, but it showed me that there really isn't anything wrong with her. She CAN stop. It's not a systemic problem, it's not a reaction to diet or her environment or a mental defect. She's just an amazing case of The 3's. So, I can do it. Stay level, and try to stay a step ahead.
But, wow.
Clara had her 6-month shots this morning, and of course she cried a little, but actually Emily cried more than she did! She was upset that Clara was in pain and she just couldn't handle knowing what her little sister had been put through. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to see Emily acting so kind and with such empathy, how proud I was to be her mom. What a lovely, amazing little girl she is. I haven't totally screwed her up after all! Things are looking up. :)
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Chin Up
Travis and I stayed up way too late last night, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to tough out the hard days. The girls played nicely for most of the time that I was home with them yesterday after work and before Travis got home at 5, but in the last 20 minutes, Audrey managed to cut her hair, Clara got knocked over and hit her head pretty good, and Emily kicked Audrey in the chest fighting over a stupid baby toy. It was such a contrast to how happy I was when I got home from work and how glad I was to see my kids, to then how much I hated their incessant screaming. When are parents supposed to talk to each other about when we need the other to do something different? Travis works 10-hour days consistently, with additional early and late meetings on occasion. He gets frustrated that I am short-tempered with the kids. When do we talk about this? When we're already upset for other reasons, of course. perfect. So I pointed out to him that when I snapped at him for being at work so late, that he can't get upset at me for my poor delivery of a legitimate need and then turn around and tell me I shouldn't be so short-tempered with the kids because they have poor delivery of their legitimate needs. Yes, I know I should always tell myself that they are not capable of proper delivery - they're just kids, of course - but can't he also tell himself that I have been picked and picked and picked on, I'm overtired, and nursing an increasingly mobile baby, and maybe I can't perfectly craft my delivery each time?! It seemed pretty hypocritical. The conversation went something like this: "I need help. I am failing my kids and I'm unhappy way too much of the time, and some of it is your fault." "I don't like the way you asked for help. Here's what's wrong with you." "Okay, yes, those are valid things I want to work on, but here's why it's so hard and I need help. We both have to change something." "Well, here's what you should do different, then." Not exactly the kind of help I need.
That paragraph may not make all that much sense, but I'm trying to get it out of my system, because I'm still irked about the whole thing. My eyes hurt this morning, all puffy from crying, and although it was nice that Clara slept much later than usual, I didn't get to go back to sleep after she nursed at 5:30. And, Emily is sick with a cold and upset stomach, so she won't be going to preschool today. She and Audrey are watching TV while Clara naps right now - we are all pretty worthless today. I am so bummed, not only because it's harder to care for sick children than healthy ones, but that takes away my Mom-and-Audrey time that I treasure so much, and only get for a few hours, once per week. She really gets the short end of the stick when it comes to my attention, because Clara demands so much of it, and Emily can communicate her needs so much more easily than Audrey can that she ends up getting a lot of my focus. And what's left for Audrey, isn't enough. it's just not fair that I don't have enough for them.
I don't think I've blogged about what Clara can do lately - she is really an independent sitter now! I try to remember to put the boppy around her still, but I forget because she is really pretty good on her own. I brought up a whole bunch of baby toys for her to play with, and she is really, really enjoying them. Emily and Audrey are enjoying having new things around, but I think they'll be glad to have Christmas come since baby toys won't hold their interest that long. I'm hoping the timing works out well, there. Clara is also eating solid foods - oatmeal twice a day! She's doing great with it, and really likes it. I think it has helped her sleeping, although an earlier bedtime might help a lot, too. I've got quite a bit of baby food in the freezer, ready for her next addition to her diet - squash, sweet potatoes, peas, and a fruit mix.
Well, the girls' show is over, I'd better get moving again. I've gotta make some changes, and just get through this. I remember feeling like this when Audrey was about Clara's age, so I'll get back to being the person I like to be again soon. right?
That paragraph may not make all that much sense, but I'm trying to get it out of my system, because I'm still irked about the whole thing. My eyes hurt this morning, all puffy from crying, and although it was nice that Clara slept much later than usual, I didn't get to go back to sleep after she nursed at 5:30. And, Emily is sick with a cold and upset stomach, so she won't be going to preschool today. She and Audrey are watching TV while Clara naps right now - we are all pretty worthless today. I am so bummed, not only because it's harder to care for sick children than healthy ones, but that takes away my Mom-and-Audrey time that I treasure so much, and only get for a few hours, once per week. She really gets the short end of the stick when it comes to my attention, because Clara demands so much of it, and Emily can communicate her needs so much more easily than Audrey can that she ends up getting a lot of my focus. And what's left for Audrey, isn't enough. it's just not fair that I don't have enough for them.
I don't think I've blogged about what Clara can do lately - she is really an independent sitter now! I try to remember to put the boppy around her still, but I forget because she is really pretty good on her own. I brought up a whole bunch of baby toys for her to play with, and she is really, really enjoying them. Emily and Audrey are enjoying having new things around, but I think they'll be glad to have Christmas come since baby toys won't hold their interest that long. I'm hoping the timing works out well, there. Clara is also eating solid foods - oatmeal twice a day! She's doing great with it, and really likes it. I think it has helped her sleeping, although an earlier bedtime might help a lot, too. I've got quite a bit of baby food in the freezer, ready for her next addition to her diet - squash, sweet potatoes, peas, and a fruit mix.
Well, the girls' show is over, I'd better get moving again. I've gotta make some changes, and just get through this. I remember feeling like this when Audrey was about Clara's age, so I'll get back to being the person I like to be again soon. right?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Stop the noise, already!
Another Thanksgiving has been partied away!
We had a pretty manageable amount of family gathering planned for Thanksgiving this year, so I upped it and decided to spend the weekend before in Rockford. It was really good to be back - hadn't been there since summer and it felt really good to be home again. It was of course very cold and windy, so the girls didn't want to be outside at all, but I got Emily out for a little bit. She's still afraid of cows, which is good, except she goes a little overboard. I NEVER have her on the same side of a fence as a cow, but if she sees them 50 feet away but look at her, she's terrified. It's a bit over the top. I stayed up too late chatting, as usual, and the kids slept terribly but that's par for the course at any grandparents house. I'm doing better about not worrying about it, because it's just going to suck, no matter what.
Pretty much the same in Barnum - a very nice family visit with fantastic food, relaxing agenda, and tremendously overtired kids. It's so frustrating, even though they are able to push through a day being overtired and have a good time while they're there, they make us pay later. Audrey prefers to get a catnap and then be too rested to sleep at night, while Emily is a CRAB the following day, laying on the floor, kicking Audrey and whining. I guess I should be thankful they can keep it together for the visit, right?
We also spent a day in Ames with my family, on the way back from Barnum, essentially (after a stop in Farnhamville to meet a very sweet little 18-month-old!). Even though I stayed up much later than I should have, it was totally worth it - SO fun! My family is a pretty weird, and it was so refreshing for me! We were doing puzzles and found a way to do competitive puzzling. I don't know when I've laughed harder. I totally needed that, after dealing with my kids whining and fussing and screaming and crying so much.
It just seems like there's an awful lot of that lately. I've been trying to do some reading to see if there are things I should be doing differently with my kids. I have gotten the impression that they're pretty capable kids, smart, and I wondered if having gifted children changes how you need to parent and provide for them. This is the feedback I've gotten from my mom and my sister. As I'm reading about these other kids who learned to read at age 3, do multiplication by age 4, do 30-piece puzzles at age 2, it feels more and more like my kids are just good singers who are pains in the ass. Audrey is SO stubborn. She pitched a fit the other day because she wanted me to carry her upstairs on my back. It wasn't that I didn't let her, it's that I didn't stand up and walk 10 feet to where SHE was to let her onto my back. I had already crouched down and was at the foot of the stairs, and told her to run and hop onto my back, little monkey! Nope - 20 minutes of screaming her stupid head off. Emily spent 3 days in a row, crying for half an hour on the potty because I wouldn't go wipe her messy bottom - which I haven't done for at least 6 months but lately she's started up again trying to get me to do it for her again because she doesn't feel like washing her hands. What lazy, manipulative, stupid creatures!!! It's so irritating. Why did you learn all your letters but you still pee on the floor all the damn time? Why can you do addition and subtraction on your fingers but can't flush a toilet? Why did you decide to learn the names and sounds of all the different band instruments, but you can't possibly figure out that when you get in the car, the next step is ALWAYS to buckle your seat belt?!?
In the end, I am in no position to say where my kids rank with others. I have no idea if they're gifted or slow. I just know that they're incredibly annoying to me lately and I can't wait for Emily and Audrey to outgrow this miserable phase they're in. I can't ask for advice - everything is conflicting. Not sleeping? Make sure they're busy all day so they're good and tired at night. Or make sure they have rest time in their beds, even if they don't sleep, because they're overtired now and that's why they're not sleeping well. Not sleeping past 5AM? make sure they MUST stay in their beds until it's time to get up. or make sure they get up so they realize that getting up at 5AM sucks after all. Not eating anything? Just give them what they'll eat, so they grow; don't be a health junky. Or keep feeding them same plate of carrots for snack, dinner, breakfast, and nothing else until they eat it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Never give in to a tantrum - even a tantrum over something inanely stupid and small. Don't expect too much of your children. They can learn to put their own shoes away, so they start to learn some responsibility for themselves. Relax. You have to be vigilant, be their voice so they receive what they need from their school / other caretakers. Let them make their own mistakes (I'm just waiting for Audrey to faceplant with her hands in the pockets of her winter coat, because she absolutely insists on having her hands there. That's going to suck). But above all, protect them so they don't get hurt. In the end, I guess I should be doing everything I do differently. And then differently from that, too.
All this, and Clara is still getting up at least once each night... except when occasionally, she doesn't, and it's blissful except I wake up all engorged and the sheets are soaked so I get to do more laundry with all that extra energy. I'm so tired, hence the lack of blog entries, even though I'm just fighting each day, dreading all the screaming.
In the end, I know that it isn't this dire and dreary for me... for sure it isn't all the time. But sometimes it is, and I might as well whine. It's what the rest of the females in the house are doing. WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My potato-turkey from preschool fell in the potty and I'm going to CRYYYYYYY!!!! That incident in particular actually was really, really funny, and it took a tremendous amount of convincing Emily to laugh with me. I finally got her, though. Light at the end of the tunnel, I hope.
We had a pretty manageable amount of family gathering planned for Thanksgiving this year, so I upped it and decided to spend the weekend before in Rockford. It was really good to be back - hadn't been there since summer and it felt really good to be home again. It was of course very cold and windy, so the girls didn't want to be outside at all, but I got Emily out for a little bit. She's still afraid of cows, which is good, except she goes a little overboard. I NEVER have her on the same side of a fence as a cow, but if she sees them 50 feet away but look at her, she's terrified. It's a bit over the top. I stayed up too late chatting, as usual, and the kids slept terribly but that's par for the course at any grandparents house. I'm doing better about not worrying about it, because it's just going to suck, no matter what.
Pretty much the same in Barnum - a very nice family visit with fantastic food, relaxing agenda, and tremendously overtired kids. It's so frustrating, even though they are able to push through a day being overtired and have a good time while they're there, they make us pay later. Audrey prefers to get a catnap and then be too rested to sleep at night, while Emily is a CRAB the following day, laying on the floor, kicking Audrey and whining. I guess I should be thankful they can keep it together for the visit, right?
We also spent a day in Ames with my family, on the way back from Barnum, essentially (after a stop in Farnhamville to meet a very sweet little 18-month-old!). Even though I stayed up much later than I should have, it was totally worth it - SO fun! My family is a pretty weird, and it was so refreshing for me! We were doing puzzles and found a way to do competitive puzzling. I don't know when I've laughed harder. I totally needed that, after dealing with my kids whining and fussing and screaming and crying so much.
It just seems like there's an awful lot of that lately. I've been trying to do some reading to see if there are things I should be doing differently with my kids. I have gotten the impression that they're pretty capable kids, smart, and I wondered if having gifted children changes how you need to parent and provide for them. This is the feedback I've gotten from my mom and my sister. As I'm reading about these other kids who learned to read at age 3, do multiplication by age 4, do 30-piece puzzles at age 2, it feels more and more like my kids are just good singers who are pains in the ass. Audrey is SO stubborn. She pitched a fit the other day because she wanted me to carry her upstairs on my back. It wasn't that I didn't let her, it's that I didn't stand up and walk 10 feet to where SHE was to let her onto my back. I had already crouched down and was at the foot of the stairs, and told her to run and hop onto my back, little monkey! Nope - 20 minutes of screaming her stupid head off. Emily spent 3 days in a row, crying for half an hour on the potty because I wouldn't go wipe her messy bottom - which I haven't done for at least 6 months but lately she's started up again trying to get me to do it for her again because she doesn't feel like washing her hands. What lazy, manipulative, stupid creatures!!! It's so irritating. Why did you learn all your letters but you still pee on the floor all the damn time? Why can you do addition and subtraction on your fingers but can't flush a toilet? Why did you decide to learn the names and sounds of all the different band instruments, but you can't possibly figure out that when you get in the car, the next step is ALWAYS to buckle your seat belt?!?
In the end, I am in no position to say where my kids rank with others. I have no idea if they're gifted or slow. I just know that they're incredibly annoying to me lately and I can't wait for Emily and Audrey to outgrow this miserable phase they're in. I can't ask for advice - everything is conflicting. Not sleeping? Make sure they're busy all day so they're good and tired at night. Or make sure they have rest time in their beds, even if they don't sleep, because they're overtired now and that's why they're not sleeping well. Not sleeping past 5AM? make sure they MUST stay in their beds until it's time to get up. or make sure they get up so they realize that getting up at 5AM sucks after all. Not eating anything? Just give them what they'll eat, so they grow; don't be a health junky. Or keep feeding them same plate of carrots for snack, dinner, breakfast, and nothing else until they eat it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Never give in to a tantrum - even a tantrum over something inanely stupid and small. Don't expect too much of your children. They can learn to put their own shoes away, so they start to learn some responsibility for themselves. Relax. You have to be vigilant, be their voice so they receive what they need from their school / other caretakers. Let them make their own mistakes (I'm just waiting for Audrey to faceplant with her hands in the pockets of her winter coat, because she absolutely insists on having her hands there. That's going to suck). But above all, protect them so they don't get hurt. In the end, I guess I should be doing everything I do differently. And then differently from that, too.
All this, and Clara is still getting up at least once each night... except when occasionally, she doesn't, and it's blissful except I wake up all engorged and the sheets are soaked so I get to do more laundry with all that extra energy. I'm so tired, hence the lack of blog entries, even though I'm just fighting each day, dreading all the screaming.
In the end, I know that it isn't this dire and dreary for me... for sure it isn't all the time. But sometimes it is, and I might as well whine. It's what the rest of the females in the house are doing. WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My potato-turkey from preschool fell in the potty and I'm going to CRYYYYYYY!!!! That incident in particular actually was really, really funny, and it took a tremendous amount of convincing Emily to laugh with me. I finally got her, though. Light at the end of the tunnel, I hope.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Audrey is 3!
Another birthday is done and in the books. I think she had a great day, which is disappointing to me because I aim for the girls to view their birthdays as super special all the way through, and instead I think I threw too much at her in an attempt to make it comparable to Emily's. I didn't want her to feel shortchanged...
Anyway, Audrey woke up to the house decorated with purple balloons and purple streamers, much to her delight. I had in mind to give her a purple sparkley tiara to wear that said "Birthday Princess" on it, but it didn't arrive in the mail until after I got home. I also had to go to work on her birthday :( because of company-wide day-long meetings that occur once every 8 weeks. But I was home by 3:15 and we enjoyed the rest of the day. Audrey also got to go to her "library preschool" (storytime) with Amanda, who said that Audrey was really participating and enjoying it, all confident like she owns the place. Yeah!! Amanda also took the girls to McDonald's for lunch, and got them each a Happy Meal, "with a toy!!!"
After Emily got home, I discovered that Audrey had taken one of the basketball tickets that Travis ordered for a family outing this winter, and used Emily's scissors to shred it to tiny bits. I think that actually occurred several days if not weeks ago, and i just discovered it behind the piano that day. So, I had a fun puzzle to do, since of course she most finely chopped up the end with the barcode on it. When Travis got home, I wrapped presents, and she opened them, and Emily cried about them. "But I wanted a globe and a beanbag AND a hippity-hop!!" *sigh*. I had cleaned up the entire basement so she could have some space to use the hippity-hop, so we took her down there to try it out. I also got her a bike helmet since her current one is so old that it's probably not protective anymore. I turned out to be a good combination. Travis took lots of pictures of the girls, all wound up, and then we went out for supper at Panchero's, followed by ice cream at ColdStone.
Unfortunately, it was also bath night, and by the time it was Audrey's turn to brush her teeth, she was completely out of gas. She melted down into a little pile and howled. It was heartbreaking. I felt so terrible, because she won't let me help until she has completely burned herself out. I feel like she has to be completely broken, hit rock bottom, before she will let me do anything as simple as squeeze the toothpaste to the end of the tube for her. And then she'll let me do everything, so I washed her hair and helped her through the bath, dry off, get dressed, and snuggle into bed with her beautiful lips.
** Side note ** AUDREY IS DONE WITH BLANKETS!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!! We put chapstick on her one night, because her bottom lip was all chapped from having a wet blanket on it all night. Then I talked her up, telling her how beautiful her lips were, and I wanted a beautiful kiss before bed. Then she wanted her blanket, but I told her that her beautiful chapstick would rub off, and she wanted to sleep beautifully, like Sleeping Beauty. And she smiled, and went to sleep. No tears, no changing her mind, just beautiful lips and very smack-y bedtime kisses! She has asked for her blanekt a couple of times after that, but just during the day when she gets run-down (because she gets up at 6 AM for no reason and has given up naps!! I digress...). I just told her that her lips were healing, almost healed, so she should wait a few days. And she's stopped asking. She even saw them in the laundry, and I told her I was going to put them in Clara's room since they're baby blankets, and she agreed! I am SO RELIEVED. I don't even care that Clara either nurses to sleep or uses a pacifier to get to sleep. Whatever - I now know I am capable of getting a kid detached! I caught Emily sucking her thumb while watching Thomas on TV today, so she's got an orthodontic solution in her future. When she gets one loose tooth, I am not messing around. I'm scheduling her appointment with the orthodontist as soon as humanly possible at that point.
Sooo, back to the birthday! I actually had a more celebratory day with Audrey today, since I was home from work and Emily was at preschool. Clara took a 90-minute afternoon nap - twice her usual length! - so we had a lot of time to snuggle and do our nails and fold laundry, and sing songs. She was singing with her baby swing, which has Old MacDonald and Mary Had A Little Lamb on it, in two different keys. After one song is over, you have to go back and hit a button for it to play the other, and it just alternates. So she would start singing the other song before she'd go back to hit the button - and she'd have the right notes, for the new song in the new key. Now, that is the kind of thing that I can relate to, and just thrills me to see! What a great kid. If only I had a better way to help her when she starts spiraling downward, instead of just letting her go and waiting through her tantrum, then I would feel like an adequate parent for her. She is so amazing, and I love her so much! I hope I can be the mom that she deserves... I know that sometimes I am not. I'm afraid that I'm expecting her to be too much like Emily, and not realizing that just because some of the things she does are beyond her years, that she is only 3. How can she be so big and so little at the same time??
Anyway, Audrey woke up to the house decorated with purple balloons and purple streamers, much to her delight. I had in mind to give her a purple sparkley tiara to wear that said "Birthday Princess" on it, but it didn't arrive in the mail until after I got home. I also had to go to work on her birthday :( because of company-wide day-long meetings that occur once every 8 weeks. But I was home by 3:15 and we enjoyed the rest of the day. Audrey also got to go to her "library preschool" (storytime) with Amanda, who said that Audrey was really participating and enjoying it, all confident like she owns the place. Yeah!! Amanda also took the girls to McDonald's for lunch, and got them each a Happy Meal, "with a toy!!!"
After Emily got home, I discovered that Audrey had taken one of the basketball tickets that Travis ordered for a family outing this winter, and used Emily's scissors to shred it to tiny bits. I think that actually occurred several days if not weeks ago, and i just discovered it behind the piano that day. So, I had a fun puzzle to do, since of course she most finely chopped up the end with the barcode on it. When Travis got home, I wrapped presents, and she opened them, and Emily cried about them. "But I wanted a globe and a beanbag AND a hippity-hop!!" *sigh*. I had cleaned up the entire basement so she could have some space to use the hippity-hop, so we took her down there to try it out. I also got her a bike helmet since her current one is so old that it's probably not protective anymore. I turned out to be a good combination. Travis took lots of pictures of the girls, all wound up, and then we went out for supper at Panchero's, followed by ice cream at ColdStone.
Unfortunately, it was also bath night, and by the time it was Audrey's turn to brush her teeth, she was completely out of gas. She melted down into a little pile and howled. It was heartbreaking. I felt so terrible, because she won't let me help until she has completely burned herself out. I feel like she has to be completely broken, hit rock bottom, before she will let me do anything as simple as squeeze the toothpaste to the end of the tube for her. And then she'll let me do everything, so I washed her hair and helped her through the bath, dry off, get dressed, and snuggle into bed with her beautiful lips.
** Side note ** AUDREY IS DONE WITH BLANKETS!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!! We put chapstick on her one night, because her bottom lip was all chapped from having a wet blanket on it all night. Then I talked her up, telling her how beautiful her lips were, and I wanted a beautiful kiss before bed. Then she wanted her blanket, but I told her that her beautiful chapstick would rub off, and she wanted to sleep beautifully, like Sleeping Beauty. And she smiled, and went to sleep. No tears, no changing her mind, just beautiful lips and very smack-y bedtime kisses! She has asked for her blanekt a couple of times after that, but just during the day when she gets run-down (because she gets up at 6 AM for no reason and has given up naps!! I digress...). I just told her that her lips were healing, almost healed, so she should wait a few days. And she's stopped asking. She even saw them in the laundry, and I told her I was going to put them in Clara's room since they're baby blankets, and she agreed! I am SO RELIEVED. I don't even care that Clara either nurses to sleep or uses a pacifier to get to sleep. Whatever - I now know I am capable of getting a kid detached! I caught Emily sucking her thumb while watching Thomas on TV today, so she's got an orthodontic solution in her future. When she gets one loose tooth, I am not messing around. I'm scheduling her appointment with the orthodontist as soon as humanly possible at that point.
Sooo, back to the birthday! I actually had a more celebratory day with Audrey today, since I was home from work and Emily was at preschool. Clara took a 90-minute afternoon nap - twice her usual length! - so we had a lot of time to snuggle and do our nails and fold laundry, and sing songs. She was singing with her baby swing, which has Old MacDonald and Mary Had A Little Lamb on it, in two different keys. After one song is over, you have to go back and hit a button for it to play the other, and it just alternates. So she would start singing the other song before she'd go back to hit the button - and she'd have the right notes, for the new song in the new key. Now, that is the kind of thing that I can relate to, and just thrills me to see! What a great kid. If only I had a better way to help her when she starts spiraling downward, instead of just letting her go and waiting through her tantrum, then I would feel like an adequate parent for her. She is so amazing, and I love her so much! I hope I can be the mom that she deserves... I know that sometimes I am not. I'm afraid that I'm expecting her to be too much like Emily, and not realizing that just because some of the things she does are beyond her years, that she is only 3. How can she be so big and so little at the same time??
Monday, October 29, 2012
October update
Clara is the funniest little baby these days!! If you smile at her, she'll look at you, then light up with a big smile and hang her little mouth wiiiiiide open! She flaps her arms and buries her head into whoever is holding her - so cute. She's a little stinker at bedtime, but hopefully that's a temporary thing. Most nights, I spend from 8 to 9PM, sometimes after 10:00, trying to get her to sleep, which is challenging when preparing for Halloween and Audrey's birthday! But we'll get there. She seems to be cool with sleeping with a pacifier, although that's about a 50/50 deal. With me around, she seems to want the real deal, still, although she's doing her hunger strikes with Amanda during the days, still. I can't believe a growing baby can go 7 hours on 7 ounces!! She sure makes up for it when I get home!
Clara also rolled over a few nights ago, although she hasn't repeated it since. She was reaching for a toy, on her tummy, and her giant head leaned over to the side, and the weight of it pulled the rest of her over onto her back. She was so surprised to look up at me! and then, of course, she smiled her big fabulous grin.
The Halloween costumes are made, all ready to go for tomorrow night, except for digging up a onesie for Clara to wear. All three of them will be cupcakes!! I'm so excited - the costumes turned out so great and were so fun to make! Emily gets to wear her costume three times - trick-or-treating tomorrow night, Hope's birthday party the next day, and to school on Thursday. I'm glad, because she'll be good and tired of it by then, and we can just put it away and move on to the next thing - Audrey's birthday!!
I'm just about through with a nasty cold that I had for almost 2 weeks. It was the full-on deal: sneezy/tickley nose for 4 days, cold sores and swollen gums, fever, congestion and sinus headache, nasty lingering cough and snorty nose, and worst of all, stupidity!! I don't know when I've ever been knocked so completely stupid before! I couldn't hold a thought, or follow another person's train of thought. I couldn't figure out problems at work, I couldn't handle making dinner at home, I was just absolutely lacking mental capacity. I'm so thankful I don't live that way all the time, because it was SO frustrating!!
The last few weeks have been really testing for me, ever since Travis spent that week in Singapore, and the birthday, and me getting sick. I'm still getting up every night with Clara, and nursing takes a lot of brain energy for some dumb reason. So I guess it's not like there's really that much going on, but it's relentless. So Travis and I took a weekend "off," leaving the kids with Sullivan grandparents and going up to Minneapolis to see some friends who we were close with when we lived up there. It was so stress-free and fun, even though we brought Clara with us! She apparently thinks it's 20 minutes too far, because she screamed the last 20 minutes of the trip in both directions. I suppose it wouldn't be 20 min too far if we hadn't made the trek over to Barnum each time, but it was worth it. Emily had such a great time that she bawled her eyes out as soon as she saw me and Travis walk into the house. (She had made plans, and was afraid she wasn't going to get to do everything on her agenda! but she did, of course.) I felt SO much better after that trip, just relaxed and in much better spirits. I was not sad at all to drive away from my kids, and delighted to return to them, so it was perfect.
I think Audrey is just about done with naptime, and tonight is a momentous occasion because she actually went to sleep without her blanket! I pointed out to her that her blanket was leaving her skin around her lips very pink and chapped, and it was hurting her, so I put chapstick on her and told her that if she had a blanket it would rub it off, and that her lips were so pretty with her chapstick on. So, vanity won out in that one!! Emily was still smacking away at her thumb when I left the room, but Audrey apparently went right to sleep. I think ditching the nap and the blanket at the same time might be a good way to go - she doesn't seek out her blanket during the day to nap, and she's exhausted enough at night to just pass out without it. Of course, now that I've written this, it'll all fall apart. :) but it's a good try, right?
Emily is continuing to love preschool. I get to sign up for conferences this week, to be held the week after. I only get 15 minutes, during which I figure the teacher will say how much she loves Emily's smile and enthusiasm, that she's a wonderful little kid, and how much she likes having her in class. If it's anything else, I'll really be surprised. She sure takes her academics seriously at home! She is drawing letters like crazy, always asking me how to spell things so she can write the words down, one letter at a time. She is writing her own thank-you notes for her birthday presents... maybe at this point I'll have her hand them out at Audrey's party! I've been so busy I haven't had time to sit with her and get things organized and mailed out. But her sentiment is there!
So, for Audrey's party, we're doing the same old family gathering after her birthday, but opening presents on her birthday (Tuesday) and trying to make that day as special as possible, even though I need to be at work that day. I really figured I would take a day off to do birthdays for my kids, and if it had been a normal workday like today, I would have, but it's a planning session for the next 8 weeks and I need to be there. ugh. I also need to get her some birthday presents... Details, right? :) I can't believe it was 3 years ago that I met her. What a charming little thing she is. All chatter and song, just enjoying life and growing as fast as she can.
Clara also rolled over a few nights ago, although she hasn't repeated it since. She was reaching for a toy, on her tummy, and her giant head leaned over to the side, and the weight of it pulled the rest of her over onto her back. She was so surprised to look up at me! and then, of course, she smiled her big fabulous grin.
The Halloween costumes are made, all ready to go for tomorrow night, except for digging up a onesie for Clara to wear. All three of them will be cupcakes!! I'm so excited - the costumes turned out so great and were so fun to make! Emily gets to wear her costume three times - trick-or-treating tomorrow night, Hope's birthday party the next day, and to school on Thursday. I'm glad, because she'll be good and tired of it by then, and we can just put it away and move on to the next thing - Audrey's birthday!!
I'm just about through with a nasty cold that I had for almost 2 weeks. It was the full-on deal: sneezy/tickley nose for 4 days, cold sores and swollen gums, fever, congestion and sinus headache, nasty lingering cough and snorty nose, and worst of all, stupidity!! I don't know when I've ever been knocked so completely stupid before! I couldn't hold a thought, or follow another person's train of thought. I couldn't figure out problems at work, I couldn't handle making dinner at home, I was just absolutely lacking mental capacity. I'm so thankful I don't live that way all the time, because it was SO frustrating!!
The last few weeks have been really testing for me, ever since Travis spent that week in Singapore, and the birthday, and me getting sick. I'm still getting up every night with Clara, and nursing takes a lot of brain energy for some dumb reason. So I guess it's not like there's really that much going on, but it's relentless. So Travis and I took a weekend "off," leaving the kids with Sullivan grandparents and going up to Minneapolis to see some friends who we were close with when we lived up there. It was so stress-free and fun, even though we brought Clara with us! She apparently thinks it's 20 minutes too far, because she screamed the last 20 minutes of the trip in both directions. I suppose it wouldn't be 20 min too far if we hadn't made the trek over to Barnum each time, but it was worth it. Emily had such a great time that she bawled her eyes out as soon as she saw me and Travis walk into the house. (She had made plans, and was afraid she wasn't going to get to do everything on her agenda! but she did, of course.) I felt SO much better after that trip, just relaxed and in much better spirits. I was not sad at all to drive away from my kids, and delighted to return to them, so it was perfect.
I think Audrey is just about done with naptime, and tonight is a momentous occasion because she actually went to sleep without her blanket! I pointed out to her that her blanket was leaving her skin around her lips very pink and chapped, and it was hurting her, so I put chapstick on her and told her that if she had a blanket it would rub it off, and that her lips were so pretty with her chapstick on. So, vanity won out in that one!! Emily was still smacking away at her thumb when I left the room, but Audrey apparently went right to sleep. I think ditching the nap and the blanket at the same time might be a good way to go - she doesn't seek out her blanket during the day to nap, and she's exhausted enough at night to just pass out without it. Of course, now that I've written this, it'll all fall apart. :) but it's a good try, right?
Emily is continuing to love preschool. I get to sign up for conferences this week, to be held the week after. I only get 15 minutes, during which I figure the teacher will say how much she loves Emily's smile and enthusiasm, that she's a wonderful little kid, and how much she likes having her in class. If it's anything else, I'll really be surprised. She sure takes her academics seriously at home! She is drawing letters like crazy, always asking me how to spell things so she can write the words down, one letter at a time. She is writing her own thank-you notes for her birthday presents... maybe at this point I'll have her hand them out at Audrey's party! I've been so busy I haven't had time to sit with her and get things organized and mailed out. But her sentiment is there!
So, for Audrey's party, we're doing the same old family gathering after her birthday, but opening presents on her birthday (Tuesday) and trying to make that day as special as possible, even though I need to be at work that day. I really figured I would take a day off to do birthdays for my kids, and if it had been a normal workday like today, I would have, but it's a planning session for the next 8 weeks and I need to be there. ugh. I also need to get her some birthday presents... Details, right? :) I can't believe it was 3 years ago that I met her. What a charming little thing she is. All chatter and song, just enjoying life and growing as fast as she can.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Happy Birthday, Sweet Emily
Wow, she's FIVE!!!
Emily had a great day today. She was a bit apprehensive about turning 5, since we told her that five-year-olds don't suck their thumbs anymore. But she sure had a good time today!
The day started with the girls coming downstairs, discovering that Trav and I had hung up pink adn white streamers and pink balloons all over the house. We had scrambled eggs and donuts for breakfast, with Dad! He had an evening meeting today, so he felt justified in going in to work a few minutes late. Emily chose to wear a sparkley blue dress, with stripey tights! I even curled her hair, and put in her favorite barrette. Then they played for a little while this morning, and then took Clara to her 4-month checkup. Poor girl got another round of shots :( We picked up McDonald's on the way home, and then had a picnic in the car in the parking lot of Emily's preschool, just to be sure she'd get there in time. It was a beautiful, clear sunny day, a little on the chilly side but still warm enough to be gorgeous and pleasant. When I walked her up to the door, she went bouncing on ahead of me, and her teacher greeted her, "Hey there, birthday girl!!" It's funny how that reassured me that Emily was going to have a great day!
Audrey and Clara and I went home and rested for a bit, though nobody slept except Clara who finished her little car-snooze after I brought her in. Then we went to Target and picked up a few more things I needed in order to finish the day, and to the library, where Audrey showed me where her "Library Preschool" is held. It's just their storytime, but Audrey LOVES it. Not only is it just the right kind of activity for her, but she gets to go there while Emily is at her preschool. It's only half an hour, but she feels so special. Sure enough, when we walked into the children's area at the library, the librarian greeted her, "Hi, Audrey!! How are you today?" and then gave me the funniest look. :) I explained to her that she normally comes with her sitter but today she was showing me where she comes for storytime. I got a good laugh out of that!
We picked up Emily at her preschool, and she came out wearing a crown that said Happy Birthday, Emily, all pink and purple and covered in stickers. Her carseat was already covered in stickers she got from the doctor's office... our whole house is covered in stickers... anyway. We went straight to Riley Park, with the girls eating their Fruit by the Foot and singing. They played for about half an hour, then came home and made rainbow cupcakes. Then we opened presents, and Emily was really, really excited. She got a beautiful new globe, a beanbag chair, a journal, and a stuffed Hello Kitty kleenex box cover (so she can keep her kleenex box in her bed, since she gets bloody noses at night. it's SO cute!!) Audrey was have a good time until the beanbag chair became an issue, because she really, really wanted to jump on it, but it's Emily's birthday and she wanted it to herself. Not sure how I'm going to handle that one, ongoing. But it's a super cute chair - pink polka-dots!!
Travis went to pick up Pizza Hut, and got enough to feed Jenny and her girls, who came by on their way home from an appointment in Des Moines. Then, Emily's friend Hope came across the street to give her a bottle of bubble bath and a shower loofa / stuffed zebra - so cute! So of course we had to have a bath, and then Emily got to chat with both her Grandmas on the phone before crawling into bed.
So, to summarize: Donuts for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, Fruit by the Foot for snack, and pizza and cupcakes for supper. Pink decorations, preschool, the park, cousins, friends, bath, and Grandmas on the phone. I think we managed to check off nearly everything on her list of favorites. She smiled all day. It was so fun to do that for her! I love her so much.
... however, I am exhausted, the house is trashed, Clara is feeling crummy from her immunizations today, and Audrey is having a hard time feeling second-fiddlish. So, tomorrow is another day! off we go!
Emily had a great day today. She was a bit apprehensive about turning 5, since we told her that five-year-olds don't suck their thumbs anymore. But she sure had a good time today!
The day started with the girls coming downstairs, discovering that Trav and I had hung up pink adn white streamers and pink balloons all over the house. We had scrambled eggs and donuts for breakfast, with Dad! He had an evening meeting today, so he felt justified in going in to work a few minutes late. Emily chose to wear a sparkley blue dress, with stripey tights! I even curled her hair, and put in her favorite barrette. Then they played for a little while this morning, and then took Clara to her 4-month checkup. Poor girl got another round of shots :( We picked up McDonald's on the way home, and then had a picnic in the car in the parking lot of Emily's preschool, just to be sure she'd get there in time. It was a beautiful, clear sunny day, a little on the chilly side but still warm enough to be gorgeous and pleasant. When I walked her up to the door, she went bouncing on ahead of me, and her teacher greeted her, "Hey there, birthday girl!!" It's funny how that reassured me that Emily was going to have a great day!
Audrey and Clara and I went home and rested for a bit, though nobody slept except Clara who finished her little car-snooze after I brought her in. Then we went to Target and picked up a few more things I needed in order to finish the day, and to the library, where Audrey showed me where her "Library Preschool" is held. It's just their storytime, but Audrey LOVES it. Not only is it just the right kind of activity for her, but she gets to go there while Emily is at her preschool. It's only half an hour, but she feels so special. Sure enough, when we walked into the children's area at the library, the librarian greeted her, "Hi, Audrey!! How are you today?" and then gave me the funniest look. :) I explained to her that she normally comes with her sitter but today she was showing me where she comes for storytime. I got a good laugh out of that!
We picked up Emily at her preschool, and she came out wearing a crown that said Happy Birthday, Emily, all pink and purple and covered in stickers. Her carseat was already covered in stickers she got from the doctor's office... our whole house is covered in stickers... anyway. We went straight to Riley Park, with the girls eating their Fruit by the Foot and singing. They played for about half an hour, then came home and made rainbow cupcakes. Then we opened presents, and Emily was really, really excited. She got a beautiful new globe, a beanbag chair, a journal, and a stuffed Hello Kitty kleenex box cover (so she can keep her kleenex box in her bed, since she gets bloody noses at night. it's SO cute!!) Audrey was have a good time until the beanbag chair became an issue, because she really, really wanted to jump on it, but it's Emily's birthday and she wanted it to herself. Not sure how I'm going to handle that one, ongoing. But it's a super cute chair - pink polka-dots!!
Travis went to pick up Pizza Hut, and got enough to feed Jenny and her girls, who came by on their way home from an appointment in Des Moines. Then, Emily's friend Hope came across the street to give her a bottle of bubble bath and a shower loofa / stuffed zebra - so cute! So of course we had to have a bath, and then Emily got to chat with both her Grandmas on the phone before crawling into bed.
So, to summarize: Donuts for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, Fruit by the Foot for snack, and pizza and cupcakes for supper. Pink decorations, preschool, the park, cousins, friends, bath, and Grandmas on the phone. I think we managed to check off nearly everything on her list of favorites. She smiled all day. It was so fun to do that for her! I love her so much.
... however, I am exhausted, the house is trashed, Clara is feeling crummy from her immunizations today, and Audrey is having a hard time feeling second-fiddlish. So, tomorrow is another day! off we go!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
I was not expecting that!
(One of my favorite quotes from Emily, upon slipping off of a stepstool.)
Travis was in Singapore last week, and more than 10 days after he returned, I think we might finally, finally be getting back to normal. I really didn't think it would knock me out the way it did. I thought for sure I could meet the needs of my own three children for a couple of days, but I really struggled. I had some help, both planned and unexpected, but next time, I will definitely ask for more! Wow. Not only was it stressful, it was hard on my little ego to feel like such a failure. They were all alive and fed when Travis got home, and I managed to avoid any ER visits or major appliance failures. Other than that, we were a sorry crew when he walked in the door Friday night!
More than anyone else, Audrey really put me through it. For example, she ate half a jar of raspberry jam one night, after dinner. I sat down to nurse Clara, and thought the other two were just playing like usual, but when I saw the empty jar in the refrigerator the next morning I realized why there was also jam on the carpet. One day, while I showered, she drew on the wall with colored pencils IN the crack of the corner - how do I clean that, really?! She managed to also eat a tube of her (fluoride-free) toothpaste while she was home with the nanny, so it's not just me that she's testing. I think she's ready to give up her naps, because she's only had one nap in the last 3 days, and it meant that she was up past 9 PM tonight. On the flip side, she is able to pick out the letters of her name, like out of an alphabet puzzle, and put them together in order to make her name. She can also sing Baby Beluga like it's nobody's business! She is a lot to keep up with.
My sister has recommended a book to me to read about raising gifted children. She said she just kept thinking of Audrey over and over as she read it. I am glad that I have a built-in fallback in having Emily around to challenge Audrey in ways that I can't, but I'm sure that doesn't satisfy everything she needs. I've been careful not to push Emily too much academically at home, because as the oldest child, she's probably experiencing a tremendous amount of expectations from me than I don't intend to place on her. :( I want her to enjoy school (she LOVES preschool!) and realize that it's not just a fun place to be, but that she is supposed to be learning there; teachers are supposed to pay attention to her and meet her needs. If that isn't happening, I want to be a part of things right away and make sure she's getting a good experience. I think that Johnston has a very good parents of ELP program that I would like to get involved in, if it doesn't seem to presumptuous. At this rate, I think it's probably okay to attend a meeting now and then!
Clara is on the verge of discovering her hands, and she is delighted to be able to grab a toy and bring it to her mouth. I'm not sure she knows that she's in control when that happens, but she's enjoying it nonetheless! She learned to buzz her lips today, like a little burbley trumpet player (yeah, yeah!). I got a video, which I'll try to share but we'll see how it goes, uploading it. We discovered that she absolutely knows that the sound of the garage door opening means that Mom is home, and that she will not take a bottle after 3:30 PM because Mom is supposed to be home by then!
We had a lot of fun as a family this weekend, going to a pumpkin patch / orchard on Friday and then watching the Cyclones win on Saturday, over at a friend's house with at least 10 other kids there. Now we get ready for birthdays and Halloween and a trip to Minneapolis! It's going to be a crazy month, and when I get a chance to stop and look around again, I'll have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old! How is that possible?!
Travis was in Singapore last week, and more than 10 days after he returned, I think we might finally, finally be getting back to normal. I really didn't think it would knock me out the way it did. I thought for sure I could meet the needs of my own three children for a couple of days, but I really struggled. I had some help, both planned and unexpected, but next time, I will definitely ask for more! Wow. Not only was it stressful, it was hard on my little ego to feel like such a failure. They were all alive and fed when Travis got home, and I managed to avoid any ER visits or major appliance failures. Other than that, we were a sorry crew when he walked in the door Friday night!
More than anyone else, Audrey really put me through it. For example, she ate half a jar of raspberry jam one night, after dinner. I sat down to nurse Clara, and thought the other two were just playing like usual, but when I saw the empty jar in the refrigerator the next morning I realized why there was also jam on the carpet. One day, while I showered, she drew on the wall with colored pencils IN the crack of the corner - how do I clean that, really?! She managed to also eat a tube of her (fluoride-free) toothpaste while she was home with the nanny, so it's not just me that she's testing. I think she's ready to give up her naps, because she's only had one nap in the last 3 days, and it meant that she was up past 9 PM tonight. On the flip side, she is able to pick out the letters of her name, like out of an alphabet puzzle, and put them together in order to make her name. She can also sing Baby Beluga like it's nobody's business! She is a lot to keep up with.
My sister has recommended a book to me to read about raising gifted children. She said she just kept thinking of Audrey over and over as she read it. I am glad that I have a built-in fallback in having Emily around to challenge Audrey in ways that I can't, but I'm sure that doesn't satisfy everything she needs. I've been careful not to push Emily too much academically at home, because as the oldest child, she's probably experiencing a tremendous amount of expectations from me than I don't intend to place on her. :( I want her to enjoy school (she LOVES preschool!) and realize that it's not just a fun place to be, but that she is supposed to be learning there; teachers are supposed to pay attention to her and meet her needs. If that isn't happening, I want to be a part of things right away and make sure she's getting a good experience. I think that Johnston has a very good parents of ELP program that I would like to get involved in, if it doesn't seem to presumptuous. At this rate, I think it's probably okay to attend a meeting now and then!
Clara is on the verge of discovering her hands, and she is delighted to be able to grab a toy and bring it to her mouth. I'm not sure she knows that she's in control when that happens, but she's enjoying it nonetheless! She learned to buzz her lips today, like a little burbley trumpet player (yeah, yeah!). I got a video, which I'll try to share but we'll see how it goes, uploading it. We discovered that she absolutely knows that the sound of the garage door opening means that Mom is home, and that she will not take a bottle after 3:30 PM because Mom is supposed to be home by then!
We had a lot of fun as a family this weekend, going to a pumpkin patch / orchard on Friday and then watching the Cyclones win on Saturday, over at a friend's house with at least 10 other kids there. Now we get ready for birthdays and Halloween and a trip to Minneapolis! It's going to be a crazy month, and when I get a chance to stop and look around again, I'll have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old! How is that possible?!
Monday, September 17, 2012
Clara Wows
There's so much going on in my family that whenever I blog, I don't feel I ever get into as much detail about each girl as I'd like. So, this post is about Clara! Emily's preschool class gets a marble in their Wow Jar whenever they get a big Wow, and I think our little one has definitely been earning it lately!
It's amazing, the amount of things she can do now that she couldn't do a month ago. She now holds up her head well enough that I can carry her around on my hip, which is great because she was getting too big for the on-her-back hold, especially when I tried to do it with only one arm. She'd get all smooshed and complain about it. She really enjoys her toys, her fish gym and her bouncy seat, and it won't be long before she's got more control with her little zombie arms. We borrowed a bumbo for her to sit in, which she likes because she can sit with her sisters and watch them play, although she's only good for about 5 min at a time there. It's hard work, controlling that noggin!! She smiles so easily, like she's always having a good time! She sucks on her hands when she's hungry, which is a hilarious, slurping sound. She's also a very noisy nurser, with lots of slurps and commentary. And just the happiest kid there is. Even if she's got wicked diaper rash, she still just squeaks her displeasure - I wouldn't really call it a cry. She can wiggle herself around on the floor now, to the point where I have to be sure she's exactly in the center of my bed if I leave her there. And she loves to stand up on my lap and stretch out her long legs. Bathtime is SO fun! Emily has decided she's big enough for a shower now, so Audrey and Clara get to have baths together, and really enjoy their time together.
I'm so in love with this little girl. I love her snuffy little baby noises, and her soft, round, fuzzy head that's just perfect for me to nuzzle and kiss. She's got the best little toothless grin, and she's really involved with what's going on around her. There's no "plopping" her to the side - she wants to be up with the rest of us, sitting on my lap during dinner, seeing what's going on! she's been a stinker about taking a bottle, but she's getting better and seems to be able to get by pretty well when I'm at work. But I love coming home to her! Tonight, she nursed probably 6 or 7 times between 3:30 and 8:30. I don't mind, I love snuggling with her and feeding her, and she loves it, too. She often stops nursing to just smile up at me, then keeps grinning and dives back in for more, with the attitude that what she's doing is special, as though no baby has ever nursed like her before. I'll probably be up with her in the night tonight to feed her, too, but I really, really don't mind, because she's really fast and she generally lets me sleep pretty well. And I'm happy to see her no matter what time of day. :p
My life is to happy and dull to be a reality TV show. Nobody would watch it - too saccharine. When I'm old and senile and don't know where I am, I sure hope that I think I'm here, now, with my amazing family and happy little life. These really are the good times. It's not just that absolutely everything goes my way, although plenty of it does. I actually get satisfaction from knowing that the things that have been or could be stressors to my life are things that I've learned from and have made me a better person, and I'm happy anyway. I'm just thankful I've had pretty light doses of Real Life so far. I promise to be a quick learner of life lessons, if it means I can keep this going!
It's amazing, the amount of things she can do now that she couldn't do a month ago. She now holds up her head well enough that I can carry her around on my hip, which is great because she was getting too big for the on-her-back hold, especially when I tried to do it with only one arm. She'd get all smooshed and complain about it. She really enjoys her toys, her fish gym and her bouncy seat, and it won't be long before she's got more control with her little zombie arms. We borrowed a bumbo for her to sit in, which she likes because she can sit with her sisters and watch them play, although she's only good for about 5 min at a time there. It's hard work, controlling that noggin!! She smiles so easily, like she's always having a good time! She sucks on her hands when she's hungry, which is a hilarious, slurping sound. She's also a very noisy nurser, with lots of slurps and commentary. And just the happiest kid there is. Even if she's got wicked diaper rash, she still just squeaks her displeasure - I wouldn't really call it a cry. She can wiggle herself around on the floor now, to the point where I have to be sure she's exactly in the center of my bed if I leave her there. And she loves to stand up on my lap and stretch out her long legs. Bathtime is SO fun! Emily has decided she's big enough for a shower now, so Audrey and Clara get to have baths together, and really enjoy their time together.
I'm so in love with this little girl. I love her snuffy little baby noises, and her soft, round, fuzzy head that's just perfect for me to nuzzle and kiss. She's got the best little toothless grin, and she's really involved with what's going on around her. There's no "plopping" her to the side - she wants to be up with the rest of us, sitting on my lap during dinner, seeing what's going on! she's been a stinker about taking a bottle, but she's getting better and seems to be able to get by pretty well when I'm at work. But I love coming home to her! Tonight, she nursed probably 6 or 7 times between 3:30 and 8:30. I don't mind, I love snuggling with her and feeding her, and she loves it, too. She often stops nursing to just smile up at me, then keeps grinning and dives back in for more, with the attitude that what she's doing is special, as though no baby has ever nursed like her before. I'll probably be up with her in the night tonight to feed her, too, but I really, really don't mind, because she's really fast and she generally lets me sleep pretty well. And I'm happy to see her no matter what time of day. :p
My life is to happy and dull to be a reality TV show. Nobody would watch it - too saccharine. When I'm old and senile and don't know where I am, I sure hope that I think I'm here, now, with my amazing family and happy little life. These really are the good times. It's not just that absolutely everything goes my way, although plenty of it does. I actually get satisfaction from knowing that the things that have been or could be stressors to my life are things that I've learned from and have made me a better person, and I'm happy anyway. I'm just thankful I've had pretty light doses of Real Life so far. I promise to be a quick learner of life lessons, if it means I can keep this going!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Normalcy
I think we're starting to figure out what's normal. This coming week will be our first full week of work and preschool. So far, I think we're set up well. Clara is taking a bottle no problem now, and Amanda seems like she's into a routine with the girls. Emily LOVES preschool, just like I thought she would; her teacher comments that she loves to see Emily's smile every day. Imagine that - my girl is smiley! Audrey is handling the adjustment well, and I've gotta say that I do love my Wednesday afternoons with her. Travis has planned another trip, to Singapore this time, for the end of September, so he seems to be rolling along nicely in his job. The only hiccup in our family seems to be the project I'm currently on at work, and I'm afraid I'm going to just totally screw it up. It's either much simpler than I think it is, and I'm overthinking it, or I have no freaking clue and it's going to blow up in my face. I just don't want to make a fool of myself, whereas usually I try to actually do a good job at things. But, in the larger scheme of our family life, it's a pretty small problem to have, and I'm glad we're limited to that.
Clara is a real chatty baby now! She's discovered putting her hands in her mouth, and I fear that it's only a matter of time before she moves from sucking on her fists to sucking her thumb, but we might luck out. She seems to be capable of going to sleep on her own much more easily than my first two babies. Emily is firmly a thumbsucker and I think it will absolutely crush Audrey when we take away her baby blankets someday... I was wondering if I could soak them in something nasty-tasting, but I don't want her ingesting chemicals or other nasty stuff... maybe I could soak them in spinach juice or something. :) Anyway, my girls are having a great time together. Emily is learning that Audrey likes to keep things from her (the last puzzle piece, the other half of whatever she has) just because she enjoys what happens - Emily screams and begs and gets mad and then gets in trouble for pushing/stealing/etc. I am hoping Emily learns to outsmart that one, because it'll be a much easier lesson to teach than to try to get Audrey to stop doing that. I remember doing those same things to my older siblings because I so desperately wanted them to play with me or acknowledge me (or get their noses out of a book!), and then being forced to figure out a new way to play with them. It's hard! I won't make her do it yet, not when she's not even 3!!
Speaking of, we will soon be entering Birthday Season. I've been making a list of things that I think my girls would really like, for both birthday and Christmas, so hopefully we won't just be adding another layer of crap to our toy-filled house. I am trying to find the bright side of birthdays, in that it means I can get rid of the toys they don't play with (or with some, hide them until Clara is ready for them), and maybe it'll feel a little less congested in my house. We bunked the girls' beds - awesome!! - so there's a little bit more room in their room now. I am hoping someday to move those bunkbeds into Clara's room, when she's ready for a bed too, and turn the yellow room into a playroom. Then I can tell them to go play and they can actually have a place to themselves to do that. As it is now, if i tell them to go upstairs, Audrey gets into my eye makeup (i'm sorry, but that eyeshadow was absolutely stunning on her. what a beauty!) or my lotion or my toothpaste... She seems to really enjoy being left to her own devices. She "painted" her nails the other day with magic marker. I think I've got a real girly girl on my hands! She's in a princess outfit or a leotard probably 60% of the time, asking me, "Don't I look beautiful?" Oh yes, she does.
Emily's first preschool project was a construction-paper cookie. The kids had to cut out the circle, and then glue black circle chocolate chips to it, using the same number of chocolate chips as they counted on the roll of a pair of dice. Then they wrote their name on it. Emily's circle was absolutely perfect, and she spaced each of the letters of her name to match the location of her five chocolate chips. The next day, she and Audrey sat down at their craft table and made their own cookies, howling at me to make more chocolate chips! make more! make more, Mom!!! They each made at least 2, including using a large can of tomatoes for tracing the cookie circle. Audrey's cutting was adequate, but then Emily would clean up the edges until they were perfect and round. I'm not sure I've got the right kid in preschool... :)
In my own head, lately I've realized that I seem to be at a weird point in my life. As I was growing up, I knew that I wanted to get married someday, and have kids. In college, I realized that I didn't want to do music for a career but that I did want to have a career of some kind, and heck, why not engineering? So, now I've got it all: amazing husband, 3 great kids, a career with a fantastic company in a great location with great flexibility for my family, a nice house, wonderful neighbors, lots of great friends, happy family... so, now what? It's not that I'm unhappy without something to chase, because this truly is awesome where I am. It's just the first time in my life that it's happened!! I mean really, now what do I push myself towards next?
Clara is a real chatty baby now! She's discovered putting her hands in her mouth, and I fear that it's only a matter of time before she moves from sucking on her fists to sucking her thumb, but we might luck out. She seems to be capable of going to sleep on her own much more easily than my first two babies. Emily is firmly a thumbsucker and I think it will absolutely crush Audrey when we take away her baby blankets someday... I was wondering if I could soak them in something nasty-tasting, but I don't want her ingesting chemicals or other nasty stuff... maybe I could soak them in spinach juice or something. :) Anyway, my girls are having a great time together. Emily is learning that Audrey likes to keep things from her (the last puzzle piece, the other half of whatever she has) just because she enjoys what happens - Emily screams and begs and gets mad and then gets in trouble for pushing/stealing/etc. I am hoping Emily learns to outsmart that one, because it'll be a much easier lesson to teach than to try to get Audrey to stop doing that. I remember doing those same things to my older siblings because I so desperately wanted them to play with me or acknowledge me (or get their noses out of a book!), and then being forced to figure out a new way to play with them. It's hard! I won't make her do it yet, not when she's not even 3!!
Speaking of, we will soon be entering Birthday Season. I've been making a list of things that I think my girls would really like, for both birthday and Christmas, so hopefully we won't just be adding another layer of crap to our toy-filled house. I am trying to find the bright side of birthdays, in that it means I can get rid of the toys they don't play with (or with some, hide them until Clara is ready for them), and maybe it'll feel a little less congested in my house. We bunked the girls' beds - awesome!! - so there's a little bit more room in their room now. I am hoping someday to move those bunkbeds into Clara's room, when she's ready for a bed too, and turn the yellow room into a playroom. Then I can tell them to go play and they can actually have a place to themselves to do that. As it is now, if i tell them to go upstairs, Audrey gets into my eye makeup (i'm sorry, but that eyeshadow was absolutely stunning on her. what a beauty!) or my lotion or my toothpaste... She seems to really enjoy being left to her own devices. She "painted" her nails the other day with magic marker. I think I've got a real girly girl on my hands! She's in a princess outfit or a leotard probably 60% of the time, asking me, "Don't I look beautiful?" Oh yes, she does.
Emily's first preschool project was a construction-paper cookie. The kids had to cut out the circle, and then glue black circle chocolate chips to it, using the same number of chocolate chips as they counted on the roll of a pair of dice. Then they wrote their name on it. Emily's circle was absolutely perfect, and she spaced each of the letters of her name to match the location of her five chocolate chips. The next day, she and Audrey sat down at their craft table and made their own cookies, howling at me to make more chocolate chips! make more! make more, Mom!!! They each made at least 2, including using a large can of tomatoes for tracing the cookie circle. Audrey's cutting was adequate, but then Emily would clean up the edges until they were perfect and round. I'm not sure I've got the right kid in preschool... :)
In my own head, lately I've realized that I seem to be at a weird point in my life. As I was growing up, I knew that I wanted to get married someday, and have kids. In college, I realized that I didn't want to do music for a career but that I did want to have a career of some kind, and heck, why not engineering? So, now I've got it all: amazing husband, 3 great kids, a career with a fantastic company in a great location with great flexibility for my family, a nice house, wonderful neighbors, lots of great friends, happy family... so, now what? It's not that I'm unhappy without something to chase, because this truly is awesome where I am. It's just the first time in my life that it's happened!! I mean really, now what do I push myself towards next?
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Hi ho, Hi ho
...it's back to work I go.
Today was a tough day. Instead of grudging the details right away, I'm going to write about the few interesting things that have gone on around here lately. Just little, notable things that my girls have done that remind me of how incredible they are - and just what a job it is to be their mom!!!
Audrey was drawing letters, several weeks ago (early July). She was very proud of herself, drawing the letters A, U, P, R, and M... on the wall! in MARKER!! *forehead smack* Not that she could have done this on paper so I could save it and date it. Instead I had to take a picture (when she wasn't looking, of course), and then figure out some way to effectively punish her so she doesn't write on the walls in marker again, without destroying her pride in her wonderful work. It was tricky, so I just went with a gentle "don't do that" and encouraged her to write more on paper. She won't, though. I don't know how she's gotten the practice to draw such nice letters.
The girls have tried out biting this summer. Emily was so surprised the first time it happened that it actually cracked me up. She was holding something away from Audrey, who was mad and screaming, while Emily just quietly held it away from her (as the youngest child, this "keepaway" business really makes me mad quick!). So Audrey was fighting back, and Emily started shouting, and finally shouts, "AAIEEE!!! She BITED me!!!" which, I'm sorry, was kind of funny. and at the same time, annoying. So Audrey got hauled off to the corner, and I had to put neosporin and a bandaid on Emily's chest, just below her collarbone, because Audrey really did get a good bite on her. I'll bet it really did hurt a lot, and very nearly broke the skin, so I was concerned about infection. But it seems to have healed up okay. I really wanted to tell Emily that maybe she shouldn't keep things away from Audrey like that, but I can't condone biting... I was just pissed at both kids!! A few weeks later, then, Emily bit Audrey, not quite as hard. I asked her what she thought Audrey would do if Emily bit her. I think it finally dawned on Emily that biting was probably not the way to get her sister to move over on the couch where she wanted her to be, that Audrey would probably scream and then Emily would get in trouble. It's always a little strange to me that such simple logic must be taught, but it's satisfying when it sinks in. I don't have to be a screaming lunatic as often that way.
So, that same night as the first biting incident, I was tucking Emily in to bed and she looked up and asked me, "When you go to the hospital, do you die?" Jeepers!! Turns out, the book we had read for bedtime was about a snowplow who digs out a town buried in snow, and helps everyone get where they need to be. In the end, the firetruck gets to the fire, the mail can go through, and the doctor saved his patient by getting him to the hospital. But really, we have to talk about death at bedtime?! These crazy questions are nonstop with her. "How do you make paper?" "What do you do at work?" "Where do sunflower seeds grow on a sunflower?" "What do ants eat?" "What's the difference between a tuba and a sousaphone?" Really. It's very hard to keep supplying answers that are good enough for her! She'll ask and ask and ask until I figure out just it is that she wants to know.
I told Emily's preschool teacher that she is a very, very bright girl and she'll just love having her in her class. I hope Emily is more ready to respond to her teacher than she is to me. She seems to think that when I tell her something ("Get down off the couch!"), she is entitled to a thorough explanation of my case before she'll consider following my instruction. Even if the explanation is provided, ("If your knee slips, you will crush Clara!") and repeated ("Get down off the couch!"), she might find an alternate solution (climbing higher) that she thinks will work better. I know that she's thinking about this, she's not just ignoring me, most of the time, but jeepers I'm just trying to get Clara through infanthood without any crushed ribs, so just do it because by now I'm shouting and mad!! Off to the corner she goes. She hates the corner, and has done everything there to piss me off that she can - like screaming her most ear-piercing yell or sucking her thumb - but I won't relent. It's such a battle, and while I can get her to shape up temporarily, it seems totally ineffective as an overall deterrent to make better choices in her actions. I try to give her the choice of obeying, or going to the corner first and THEN obeying, and that works for some things, but a lot of times her temper gets the better of her. Things that put her sisters' well-being in jeopardy don't get that warning, and she doesn't seem to be putting it together that she can't just use her force to get her way. I know that everything will change once preschool starts (Monday, already!) so I guess I'll just wait for the next curveball and see if it supercedes this.
So, my first day at work. Amanda showed up on time and with her usual smile, and got the extra carseat into her back seat for Clara so they can all go out and do things together. I topped off Clara and took off for work. An hour later, as I was sitting in a meeting, my milk let down and it actually drenched my shirt. Ugh. It wasn't a huge spot, right near my armpit, but still enough that I was wet and sticky and uncomfortable. and embarassed!! Then my coworkers started filling me in on what had gone on while I was gone, and what I might do to get up to speed, except that there were a whole lot of things they assumed I knew because they happened before I went on leave. I felt so stupid - I don't even know if I have forgotten these things or if I ever knew! This is exactly why it's better to start a new job after maternity leave, because in that case I wouldn't be expected to know anything!! I've even forgotten people's names -- it's bad. It wasn't even noon and I wanted to crawl under a rock. Then I got a call from Amanda that Clara was pretty distraught and hungry, wouldn't take a bottle. So I drove home and fed her, picked up lunch, and was back in the office in 50 minutes - not too shabby! Clara slept all afternoon, while Emily went over to play with Hope, and Audrey took a nap. I thought it was nice that Amanda got a bit of a breather after all of Clara's hysterics. She'll figure out the bottle thing soon, right?? Anyway, I spent way too much time chatting with coworkers in the afternoon, but I couldn't do much else because 1) my boss was on vacation - nice, and 2) someone at Deere thought I had been fired and rescinded my access to nearly every system that requires a password. The helpdesk couldn't reset it because they were, coincidentally, having issues with password resets, but they started a ticket on it in the afternoon. I can't view the progress of the ticket, though, because - of course - I'm locked out of their system!!! Gah!! So I gave up and came home... and realized that I left my milk and pump in the new mom's room at work. *sigh*
It was a pretty much "duh" kind of day. I can't even describe the feeling - overall, pretty lousy, with a dash of futility and self-loathing, and yet a tiny amount of excitement and relief which was offset by the dread of doing this 3 days next week. Throughout, Travis was so supportive - getting ready in the morning, on IM at work, and with the kids while I prepared dinner. He didn't bother me when I was grumpy and self-doubting, but didn't let me dwell on it or take myself too seriously. So we had a really nice evening, after all that. It'll get better, right?
Today was a tough day. Instead of grudging the details right away, I'm going to write about the few interesting things that have gone on around here lately. Just little, notable things that my girls have done that remind me of how incredible they are - and just what a job it is to be their mom!!!
Audrey was drawing letters, several weeks ago (early July). She was very proud of herself, drawing the letters A, U, P, R, and M... on the wall! in MARKER!! *forehead smack* Not that she could have done this on paper so I could save it and date it. Instead I had to take a picture (when she wasn't looking, of course), and then figure out some way to effectively punish her so she doesn't write on the walls in marker again, without destroying her pride in her wonderful work. It was tricky, so I just went with a gentle "don't do that" and encouraged her to write more on paper. She won't, though. I don't know how she's gotten the practice to draw such nice letters.
The girls have tried out biting this summer. Emily was so surprised the first time it happened that it actually cracked me up. She was holding something away from Audrey, who was mad and screaming, while Emily just quietly held it away from her (as the youngest child, this "keepaway" business really makes me mad quick!). So Audrey was fighting back, and Emily started shouting, and finally shouts, "AAIEEE!!! She BITED me!!!" which, I'm sorry, was kind of funny. and at the same time, annoying. So Audrey got hauled off to the corner, and I had to put neosporin and a bandaid on Emily's chest, just below her collarbone, because Audrey really did get a good bite on her. I'll bet it really did hurt a lot, and very nearly broke the skin, so I was concerned about infection. But it seems to have healed up okay. I really wanted to tell Emily that maybe she shouldn't keep things away from Audrey like that, but I can't condone biting... I was just pissed at both kids!! A few weeks later, then, Emily bit Audrey, not quite as hard. I asked her what she thought Audrey would do if Emily bit her. I think it finally dawned on Emily that biting was probably not the way to get her sister to move over on the couch where she wanted her to be, that Audrey would probably scream and then Emily would get in trouble. It's always a little strange to me that such simple logic must be taught, but it's satisfying when it sinks in. I don't have to be a screaming lunatic as often that way.
So, that same night as the first biting incident, I was tucking Emily in to bed and she looked up and asked me, "When you go to the hospital, do you die?" Jeepers!! Turns out, the book we had read for bedtime was about a snowplow who digs out a town buried in snow, and helps everyone get where they need to be. In the end, the firetruck gets to the fire, the mail can go through, and the doctor saved his patient by getting him to the hospital. But really, we have to talk about death at bedtime?! These crazy questions are nonstop with her. "How do you make paper?" "What do you do at work?" "Where do sunflower seeds grow on a sunflower?" "What do ants eat?" "What's the difference between a tuba and a sousaphone?" Really. It's very hard to keep supplying answers that are good enough for her! She'll ask and ask and ask until I figure out just it is that she wants to know.
I told Emily's preschool teacher that she is a very, very bright girl and she'll just love having her in her class. I hope Emily is more ready to respond to her teacher than she is to me. She seems to think that when I tell her something ("Get down off the couch!"), she is entitled to a thorough explanation of my case before she'll consider following my instruction. Even if the explanation is provided, ("If your knee slips, you will crush Clara!") and repeated ("Get down off the couch!"), she might find an alternate solution (climbing higher) that she thinks will work better. I know that she's thinking about this, she's not just ignoring me, most of the time, but jeepers I'm just trying to get Clara through infanthood without any crushed ribs, so just do it because by now I'm shouting and mad!! Off to the corner she goes. She hates the corner, and has done everything there to piss me off that she can - like screaming her most ear-piercing yell or sucking her thumb - but I won't relent. It's such a battle, and while I can get her to shape up temporarily, it seems totally ineffective as an overall deterrent to make better choices in her actions. I try to give her the choice of obeying, or going to the corner first and THEN obeying, and that works for some things, but a lot of times her temper gets the better of her. Things that put her sisters' well-being in jeopardy don't get that warning, and she doesn't seem to be putting it together that she can't just use her force to get her way. I know that everything will change once preschool starts (Monday, already!) so I guess I'll just wait for the next curveball and see if it supercedes this.
So, my first day at work. Amanda showed up on time and with her usual smile, and got the extra carseat into her back seat for Clara so they can all go out and do things together. I topped off Clara and took off for work. An hour later, as I was sitting in a meeting, my milk let down and it actually drenched my shirt. Ugh. It wasn't a huge spot, right near my armpit, but still enough that I was wet and sticky and uncomfortable. and embarassed!! Then my coworkers started filling me in on what had gone on while I was gone, and what I might do to get up to speed, except that there were a whole lot of things they assumed I knew because they happened before I went on leave. I felt so stupid - I don't even know if I have forgotten these things or if I ever knew! This is exactly why it's better to start a new job after maternity leave, because in that case I wouldn't be expected to know anything!! I've even forgotten people's names -- it's bad. It wasn't even noon and I wanted to crawl under a rock. Then I got a call from Amanda that Clara was pretty distraught and hungry, wouldn't take a bottle. So I drove home and fed her, picked up lunch, and was back in the office in 50 minutes - not too shabby! Clara slept all afternoon, while Emily went over to play with Hope, and Audrey took a nap. I thought it was nice that Amanda got a bit of a breather after all of Clara's hysterics. She'll figure out the bottle thing soon, right?? Anyway, I spent way too much time chatting with coworkers in the afternoon, but I couldn't do much else because 1) my boss was on vacation - nice, and 2) someone at Deere thought I had been fired and rescinded my access to nearly every system that requires a password. The helpdesk couldn't reset it because they were, coincidentally, having issues with password resets, but they started a ticket on it in the afternoon. I can't view the progress of the ticket, though, because - of course - I'm locked out of their system!!! Gah!! So I gave up and came home... and realized that I left my milk and pump in the new mom's room at work. *sigh*
It was a pretty much "duh" kind of day. I can't even describe the feeling - overall, pretty lousy, with a dash of futility and self-loathing, and yet a tiny amount of excitement and relief which was offset by the dread of doing this 3 days next week. Throughout, Travis was so supportive - getting ready in the morning, on IM at work, and with the kids while I prepared dinner. He didn't bother me when I was grumpy and self-doubting, but didn't let me dwell on it or take myself too seriously. So we had a really nice evening, after all that. It'll get better, right?
Monday, August 6, 2012
August already??
I have a little more than 2 weeks of maternity leave left :( Clara had better learn to take a bottle - quick!!
It's weird to think how long I've been talking with Emily about starting preschool, and now it's actually going to happen! I'm so excited for her, and kind of scared at the same time. I don't know why it's seeming that much more intimidating than it was to leave her at different daycares over the years, but when I saw on the list of school supplies that she needed a backpack, something about that just totally made me get all nervous for her! I think I've got nearly everything she needs, all ready to go, and all the dates on my calendar marked, for the home visit and the trip to see her preschool room ahead of time. I just can't believe it's really almost here!
The girls seem to be getting along with Amanda just great. I've got no qualms about leaving the kids with her, although it'll be interesting for her because the job is going to get a lot tougher once she's got sole responsibility for Clara (who's been staying pretty close to me this summer :) ), and the task of taking Emily to preschool. Still not sure how we're going to manage that one, with carseats and such.
Clara is the most awesome little baby. She snuggles and snuffs just like I adore in a newborn, and wiggles and snorts and all that good stuff. She is a FANTASTIC sleeper - I can pretty much count on at least 6 hours, and usually a good 8 to 10 without waking in the night. I haven't nursed her between 10PM and 4AM in weeks!! And if I can stay rested, it makes everything manageable. She is super conversational, and I just adore sitting with her and making faces, watching her smile, listening to her most amazing little sounds. I love this little girl SO much.
And I love my Emily and Audrey, too, of course. Last night, we all went for a walk together, with Emily pushing Audrey in the umbrella stroller, and Travis carrying Clara in the baby carrier. Emily took off running, and pushed Audrey right into a bump into the sidewalk, which stopped the stroller but not the girls!! The stroller flipped, and Audrey ended up with a HUGE goose egg on her forehead and a bloody lip. Emily felt so bad about it, but it really wasn't her fault. And Audrey was pretty tough. She stopped crying right away and her bonks haven't seemed to bother her much since then. I feel like she's going to end up like Muhammed Ali, after sustaining so many blows to her forehead she'll get all demented on me! Maybe that's why she keeps having so many accidents.... :)
I checked my blog this weekend to see when it was that we started potty training Audrey, and it was September 1. In that infamous post, I believe I said that I would not spend a year on it, like I did with Audrey. I wouldn't say that it has really taken less than that. So I'm going to just look out into the future and pick a good 12-month span with nothing major goign on in our lives, and reserve that for Clara's potty training. Anything less than that will be awesome.
I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this beautiful summer day!!
It's weird to think how long I've been talking with Emily about starting preschool, and now it's actually going to happen! I'm so excited for her, and kind of scared at the same time. I don't know why it's seeming that much more intimidating than it was to leave her at different daycares over the years, but when I saw on the list of school supplies that she needed a backpack, something about that just totally made me get all nervous for her! I think I've got nearly everything she needs, all ready to go, and all the dates on my calendar marked, for the home visit and the trip to see her preschool room ahead of time. I just can't believe it's really almost here!
The girls seem to be getting along with Amanda just great. I've got no qualms about leaving the kids with her, although it'll be interesting for her because the job is going to get a lot tougher once she's got sole responsibility for Clara (who's been staying pretty close to me this summer :) ), and the task of taking Emily to preschool. Still not sure how we're going to manage that one, with carseats and such.
Clara is the most awesome little baby. She snuggles and snuffs just like I adore in a newborn, and wiggles and snorts and all that good stuff. She is a FANTASTIC sleeper - I can pretty much count on at least 6 hours, and usually a good 8 to 10 without waking in the night. I haven't nursed her between 10PM and 4AM in weeks!! And if I can stay rested, it makes everything manageable. She is super conversational, and I just adore sitting with her and making faces, watching her smile, listening to her most amazing little sounds. I love this little girl SO much.
And I love my Emily and Audrey, too, of course. Last night, we all went for a walk together, with Emily pushing Audrey in the umbrella stroller, and Travis carrying Clara in the baby carrier. Emily took off running, and pushed Audrey right into a bump into the sidewalk, which stopped the stroller but not the girls!! The stroller flipped, and Audrey ended up with a HUGE goose egg on her forehead and a bloody lip. Emily felt so bad about it, but it really wasn't her fault. And Audrey was pretty tough. She stopped crying right away and her bonks haven't seemed to bother her much since then. I feel like she's going to end up like Muhammed Ali, after sustaining so many blows to her forehead she'll get all demented on me! Maybe that's why she keeps having so many accidents.... :)
I checked my blog this weekend to see when it was that we started potty training Audrey, and it was September 1. In that infamous post, I believe I said that I would not spend a year on it, like I did with Audrey. I wouldn't say that it has really taken less than that. So I'm going to just look out into the future and pick a good 12-month span with nothing major goign on in our lives, and reserve that for Clara's potty training. Anything less than that will be awesome.
I'm going to go enjoy the rest of this beautiful summer day!!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Saturday, Sunday
And, our vacation is now over. Back to the real world.
Yesterday was a catch-up day. The girls woke up from camping at just about the same time as normal, so they were a little cranky but we still managed to have a nice lazy day at home together. We considered going downtown to an Italian-American festival, but we just plain didn't get around to it. The girls had an early bedtime, which set us up for a really nice day today. It wasn't a vacation, really, but I did spend almost 2 hours cleaning the kitchen and dining room, and the girls' room is finally in order. I did two loads of laundry, too!
Last night, Travis had a couple of Guinesses and some whiskey, and came to bed much after I did. I don't know what time it was, but right at that same time there was a thunderstorm, so Emily came in and said she was afraid of thunder. Travis went with her and laid down in his bed, which I vaguely remember but didn't recall immediately when I woke up. I guess I was quite the bed hog, because when Trav woke up at 5AM in Emily's bed, and no idea why he was there, he tried to come back to our bed but I was diagonal across the bed, and clutching his pillow. Poor guy finished the night on the couch! It's been a long time since I've had a morning where we're trying to piece together just what happened, and how we ended up where we did. :)
Tonight, we finished off our vacation by going down to the Indianola hot air balloon festival. We didn't go in, just watched from a nearby park. It was incredible - I'll try to get the pictures posted tonight, or soon, at least. Emily and Audrey were so excited, and saw the first balloons rising above the trees, coming right towards us. But, they were floating kind of low, and we could hear the flames, which absolutely terrified Emily. Audrey said she was scared too, but I know she only said so because Emily was afraid. She was enjoying the thrill of being scared. :) Funny to see my girls react so differently. I think Clara was watching them, too, because she was laying on her back on the ground, looking up at the sky.
On the way home, we came up through downtown Des Moines, over Emily's favorite bridge. I got a couple really cute pictures of that, too. What a crazy kid she is. And a great way to wrap up our week together.
Tomorrow, it's back to normal, and I think we'll all be glad to get back into the regular routine. But, 3 and a half weeks from now, it's a new normal, when I go to work. I don't mind the thought of going to work, but I really will miss my girls. I'm getting quite fond of Clara, as her personality emerges. She cooed at me for a good 10 minutes tonight, after she nursed her evening meal. What a sweetheart she is. :)
Yesterday was a catch-up day. The girls woke up from camping at just about the same time as normal, so they were a little cranky but we still managed to have a nice lazy day at home together. We considered going downtown to an Italian-American festival, but we just plain didn't get around to it. The girls had an early bedtime, which set us up for a really nice day today. It wasn't a vacation, really, but I did spend almost 2 hours cleaning the kitchen and dining room, and the girls' room is finally in order. I did two loads of laundry, too!
Last night, Travis had a couple of Guinesses and some whiskey, and came to bed much after I did. I don't know what time it was, but right at that same time there was a thunderstorm, so Emily came in and said she was afraid of thunder. Travis went with her and laid down in his bed, which I vaguely remember but didn't recall immediately when I woke up. I guess I was quite the bed hog, because when Trav woke up at 5AM in Emily's bed, and no idea why he was there, he tried to come back to our bed but I was diagonal across the bed, and clutching his pillow. Poor guy finished the night on the couch! It's been a long time since I've had a morning where we're trying to piece together just what happened, and how we ended up where we did. :)
Tonight, we finished off our vacation by going down to the Indianola hot air balloon festival. We didn't go in, just watched from a nearby park. It was incredible - I'll try to get the pictures posted tonight, or soon, at least. Emily and Audrey were so excited, and saw the first balloons rising above the trees, coming right towards us. But, they were floating kind of low, and we could hear the flames, which absolutely terrified Emily. Audrey said she was scared too, but I know she only said so because Emily was afraid. She was enjoying the thrill of being scared. :) Funny to see my girls react so differently. I think Clara was watching them, too, because she was laying on her back on the ground, looking up at the sky.
On the way home, we came up through downtown Des Moines, over Emily's favorite bridge. I got a couple really cute pictures of that, too. What a crazy kid she is. And a great way to wrap up our week together.
Tomorrow, it's back to normal, and I think we'll all be glad to get back into the regular routine. But, 3 and a half weeks from now, it's a new normal, when I go to work. I don't mind the thought of going to work, but I really will miss my girls. I'm getting quite fond of Clara, as her personality emerges. She cooed at me for a good 10 minutes tonight, after she nursed her evening meal. What a sweetheart she is. :)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Friday
We got home late last night after going to Story City to see the carousel, and having dinner with Grandpa and Grandma Sullivan. What a beautiful evening!! We had a great time. Audrey rode the carousel FOUR times and loved holding onto the horse. Emily went twice in the whirling tub, and would not even consider getting up on a horse, or animal of any kind! Then we walked around the park (well, everyone else did, while I nursed Clara), and enjoyed the beautiful evening. We ate dinner together at Pizza Ranch, and came home after bedtime. The girls were so tired they were loopy, giggling like crazy about nothing at all. I thought for sure, after two late nights like that, that they'd sleep past 6:45, but no, up early again. Tonight, they are camping, so it'll probably be another short night for them again. But, I'm not sleeping out there. Clara and I are inside, so Travis can deal with it. And since he's taken to having an afternoon nap during his vacation, he can handle it!
So it would be no surprise that today is a recovery day. Trav took Emily to Earl May to see if they could spend their July fun-bucks, but all they found was the free popcorn that Emily loves. I did some shopping for school supplies that were on sale, and successfully did my entire outing during Clara's afternoon nap (which is getting to be more predictable! woohoo!!). We built a "crazy town" out of boxes this morning - okay, it was mostly me, with input and ideas from Emily. She's good with getting the tape off the roll, but not so secure with application. :) I think it'll be fun for them to play with for a good long while. There's lots of doors and tunnels and even a little bridge.
I FINALLY got the ice cream to freeze. It took nearly an hour, while I was fixing supper, and even then it was pretty runny. It churned so long the other day that I think the cream was starting to turn to butter, because although it's pretty tasty, it does have a bit of a greasy aftertaste. *sigh* I guess I learned my lesson about making ice cream!
We watched the opening ceremonies of the olympics tonight, and the show depicted the advancement of Britain over the last 500 years. It was really beautiful to see it all done, starting with grassy hills and turning into factories with smokestacks. It was, however, really tough to describe the Industrial Revolution to Emily! Then it turned into kids jumping on beds and crazy costumes dancing to music, and that was easier.
And now everyone is asleep, and I can be too. I transferred all the pictures from this week to my computer from my cameras, and it's going to be fun to post those. Going to wait until the week is up, though. More fun to be had, tomorrow!
So it would be no surprise that today is a recovery day. Trav took Emily to Earl May to see if they could spend their July fun-bucks, but all they found was the free popcorn that Emily loves. I did some shopping for school supplies that were on sale, and successfully did my entire outing during Clara's afternoon nap (which is getting to be more predictable! woohoo!!). We built a "crazy town" out of boxes this morning - okay, it was mostly me, with input and ideas from Emily. She's good with getting the tape off the roll, but not so secure with application. :) I think it'll be fun for them to play with for a good long while. There's lots of doors and tunnels and even a little bridge.
I FINALLY got the ice cream to freeze. It took nearly an hour, while I was fixing supper, and even then it was pretty runny. It churned so long the other day that I think the cream was starting to turn to butter, because although it's pretty tasty, it does have a bit of a greasy aftertaste. *sigh* I guess I learned my lesson about making ice cream!
We watched the opening ceremonies of the olympics tonight, and the show depicted the advancement of Britain over the last 500 years. It was really beautiful to see it all done, starting with grassy hills and turning into factories with smokestacks. It was, however, really tough to describe the Industrial Revolution to Emily! Then it turned into kids jumping on beds and crazy costumes dancing to music, and that was easier.
And now everyone is asleep, and I can be too. I transferred all the pictures from this week to my computer from my cameras, and it's going to be fun to post those. Going to wait until the week is up, though. More fun to be had, tomorrow!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, Thursday...
We are finishing up our Ames leg of our vacation today. Yesterday, we loaded up the van early in the morning and drove to Ellsworth, where Travis introduced the girls to Ragbrai!! The route went from there to Story City, which is about 6 miles. Clara and I drove to Story City, where we met up with the bus and the rest of Team Petting Zoo. It was already sweltering by 10:30 AM, so I'm glad the girls weren't in the burley any longer than they were. They stopped for chocolate milk along the route, and thoroughly enjoyed that.
Then we picked up lunch at Battles BBQ in Ames, and took it to my grandparents to eat. Audrey and Clara (and Travis!) all napped there, while I got a nice chance to chat with Mommo and play with Emily. Then we went to visit some friends of mine in Gilbert, whose daughter was born two days before Clara. Sure was fun to catch up with them! Then we came back to Ames, to Jenny's house, and ate take-out Chinese food. Emily had been waiting all day to play with Megan and have a sleepover night. They set up tents in Jenny's enormous basement, and had a wonderful time.
This morning, we went to the Berry Patch in Nevada and picked blueberries. Thankfully, it's a little cooler today (finally!) due to a super-awesome thunderstorm that came through last night. Audrey ate every single berry that she picked, blueberry and raspberry! Emily picked about 30 blueberries in her bucket, and was very proud of herself. Then we ate West Street Deli for lunch, and are now back at Jenny's house for naptimes. Once those are over, we'll go back up to Story City to ride on the carousel, and Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan will meet us there. The way Emily is talking, this will be a highlight of the vacation, even topping the camping sleepover night.
We're really enjoying these activities, but I'm keeping the posting brief, just to get it all written down. We'll see if I get a chance to add in any more specific anecdotes later. But I'm taking pictures, too, so that will help jog my memory!
Then we picked up lunch at Battles BBQ in Ames, and took it to my grandparents to eat. Audrey and Clara (and Travis!) all napped there, while I got a nice chance to chat with Mommo and play with Emily. Then we went to visit some friends of mine in Gilbert, whose daughter was born two days before Clara. Sure was fun to catch up with them! Then we came back to Ames, to Jenny's house, and ate take-out Chinese food. Emily had been waiting all day to play with Megan and have a sleepover night. They set up tents in Jenny's enormous basement, and had a wonderful time.
This morning, we went to the Berry Patch in Nevada and picked blueberries. Thankfully, it's a little cooler today (finally!) due to a super-awesome thunderstorm that came through last night. Audrey ate every single berry that she picked, blueberry and raspberry! Emily picked about 30 blueberries in her bucket, and was very proud of herself. Then we ate West Street Deli for lunch, and are now back at Jenny's house for naptimes. Once those are over, we'll go back up to Story City to ride on the carousel, and Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan will meet us there. The way Emily is talking, this will be a highlight of the vacation, even topping the camping sleepover night.
We're really enjoying these activities, but I'm keeping the posting brief, just to get it all written down. We'll see if I get a chance to add in any more specific anecdotes later. But I'm taking pictures, too, so that will help jog my memory!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Monday, Tuesday...
Yesterday was our trip to Winterset. We drove down in the morning after breakfast, and it really is a beautiful drive through Madison County. The only covered bridge we saw was in the city park, and it's in such an illogical place that I'm thinking it must have been moved there. Why would anyone need a bridge there?? Anyway, we drove up to Clark tower, and the girls agreed that it did look like a castle and they excitedly put on their princess outfits, and ran up to the tower. Clara was a good sport and was awake during activities and asleep in the car. Then we finished up the crazy drive back to the main area of the park, and played on some playground equipment and ran through the English maze (hedges!). That's about the time that it started getting hot, so we headed back to Des Moines, and ate at Tasty Tacos on our way home. Throughout the trip, the girls were very observant, but didn't seem to be too impressed. I was shrugging it off as a semi-failure, except they described it in very different, dramatic terms when Kerri stopped by last night. They got to be princesses in a castle! Wow! And play on a new playground!! Delayed feedback, I guess.
We tried to make ice cream yesterday afternoon, like this, but it didn't turn out. I double-bagged both mixtures, because the only massive amount of salt that I had was driveway salt, which has added chemicals in it. I wanted to keep that away from the ice cream, but I think the ice cream has to be in contact with the ice on the other side of the bag, so it didn't set up. It was still delicious, but definitely liquid and not solid. It says it will set up in about 5 minutes, but after 15 minutes of shaking, I gave up to the whines of how it was taking too long and just let them eat it the way it was. Audrey managed to spill hers all over the kitchen, which was the final straw for me after being whined at throughout what was supposed to be a fun activity. They spent much of the rest of the afternoon outside in the water, or on the 100° porch, stripped down to almost nothing. They really played nicely together for a very long time yesterday, which is pretty impressive, I think.
This morning, we went to Big Creek to go to the beach, but apparently nobody else in Des Moines thinks that a high of 100° is the perfect day to go. But we did! We were there by 9:30 or so, and it was already really hot out on the beach. It took some convincing, but Travis got the girls down by the water, playing in the sand and making sand castles with their buckets and shovels. The water was pretty stinky and full of algae, so no swimming, but they did play on the playground equipment for quite a while. Throughout this, Clara was in my arms, wanting to nurse because she was thirsty and uncomfortable, and nursing fixes everything if you're 8 weeks old. The nice thing about nobody being around - carefree breastfeeding! I thought it seemed a bit post-apocalyptic, with the empty playground and enormous parking lot (we got one of only two shady spots! woot!), but Travis said it was just good planning on our part. Emily seemed to concerned that there were no other kids around, but honestly, our kids are more likely to have fun if there aren't other kids around that they have to size up or be intimidated by.
And now we're home, chilling for the afternoon. We might make some more homemade ice cream this afternoon, but in an ice cream machine this time! Tomorrow, we're headed to Ames, I think, for a social day.
We tried to make ice cream yesterday afternoon, like this, but it didn't turn out. I double-bagged both mixtures, because the only massive amount of salt that I had was driveway salt, which has added chemicals in it. I wanted to keep that away from the ice cream, but I think the ice cream has to be in contact with the ice on the other side of the bag, so it didn't set up. It was still delicious, but definitely liquid and not solid. It says it will set up in about 5 minutes, but after 15 minutes of shaking, I gave up to the whines of how it was taking too long and just let them eat it the way it was. Audrey managed to spill hers all over the kitchen, which was the final straw for me after being whined at throughout what was supposed to be a fun activity. They spent much of the rest of the afternoon outside in the water, or on the 100° porch, stripped down to almost nothing. They really played nicely together for a very long time yesterday, which is pretty impressive, I think.
This morning, we went to Big Creek to go to the beach, but apparently nobody else in Des Moines thinks that a high of 100° is the perfect day to go. But we did! We were there by 9:30 or so, and it was already really hot out on the beach. It took some convincing, but Travis got the girls down by the water, playing in the sand and making sand castles with their buckets and shovels. The water was pretty stinky and full of algae, so no swimming, but they did play on the playground equipment for quite a while. Throughout this, Clara was in my arms, wanting to nurse because she was thirsty and uncomfortable, and nursing fixes everything if you're 8 weeks old. The nice thing about nobody being around - carefree breastfeeding! I thought it seemed a bit post-apocalyptic, with the empty playground and enormous parking lot (we got one of only two shady spots! woot!), but Travis said it was just good planning on our part. Emily seemed to concerned that there were no other kids around, but honestly, our kids are more likely to have fun if there aren't other kids around that they have to size up or be intimidated by.
And now we're home, chilling for the afternoon. We might make some more homemade ice cream this afternoon, but in an ice cream machine this time! Tomorrow, we're headed to Ames, I think, for a social day.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Stay-cation
I usually hate combined words, or made-up words, like "friend" as a verb, or "orientate," "architected," or worst of all, "guesstimate." But this week, we are in fact staycationing, so I guess I'll have to go with it. We have big plans, and I'll try to post each day, more as a record of our awesome time together as a family than out of a need to really update anybody. :)
We kicked off our family time together by having a nice lazy day at home. I got groceries, to prepare for some of the things we'll do this week, and then Travis and I went out to dinner (with Clara) while the girls ate mac'n'cheese with Dan and Kerri and Milo. Everybody had a fabulous time!
This morning, the girls went with Trav on a bike ride, in the burley, and I'm headed out with Clara to meet them at the restaurant where we'll have brunch together with friends. The plan for later today is to build a balance beam, and paint it. We'll see how that goes!
Hooray, summer!
We kicked off our family time together by having a nice lazy day at home. I got groceries, to prepare for some of the things we'll do this week, and then Travis and I went out to dinner (with Clara) while the girls ate mac'n'cheese with Dan and Kerri and Milo. Everybody had a fabulous time!
This morning, the girls went with Trav on a bike ride, in the burley, and I'm headed out with Clara to meet them at the restaurant where we'll have brunch together with friends. The plan for later today is to build a balance beam, and paint it. We'll see how that goes!
Hooray, summer!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Long post
There is so much that's happened in the past month that it'll be hard to make this post make any sense at all. I think this is the longest I have ever gone without a blog update. It has been absolutely crazy, but I'm sure you know why! There are more reasons than just Clara, though. My sister's divorce hearing was last week, and I took Clara with me to go support her in the process. It was really weird, crazy, and stressful, and therefore, exhausting. But it's done, and Jenny was awarded primary custody, so it should be uphill from here. It was kind of interesting how nice it was that Clara was with me, because nothing makes a person feel better than snuggling with a baby, right? When you're nervous, a hug is the best thing, but you can't really just hug another adult. So Jenny was holding Clara, rocking and bouncing, before things got started at the courthouse each day, and it really was helpful, I could tell. It was funny that for all the support I wanted to provide, it was probably Clara who did the most good. :)
Also this past week, Travis also had to travel for work, an opportunity he couldn't pass up. The meeting was in South Africa, so he left Tuesday for Johannesburg and came back Saturday. Between his jetlag and my exhaustion from the stress of the trial and caring for 3 kids on my own, we were pretty worthless yesterday. But today is better, since Trav slept 10+ hours and I slept the same 8 hours as Clara. Next week, Trav is in Miami for most of the week, so I'm taking the girls to my parents' for a few days. The week of Ragbrai, though, he is taking vacation! He originally planned to bike a few days, but when the South Africa trip came up, he figured it made more sense to just keep the vacation week but do things as a family, just around Des Moines, instead. I can't wait!
Travis didn't get to see much of anything while he was there, because it was so work-intensive, but he did bring back a vuvuzela and a couple baby stuffed animals for the kids (giraffe for Emily, elephant for Audrey, and a lion for Clara). The girls most enjoyed the vuvuzela, though. Travis would give it a loud honk and they'd jump and giggle and run around the house.
So the most fun thing: Clara has started talking! Jenny was playing a video for E and A, and I started singing the song for Clara, since we were having the nicest little conversation at the time. The coolest part was the next day when I sang the same song for her, and she totally recognized it!! Her eyes lit up and she started talking (singing?) along with me. She even let out a really nice little squeal that she surprised herself with. :) I think we've got a chatty one on our hands. And her smile is so much more frequent and genuine now. It looks great on her - what a beauty! She's always been really bright-eyed and expressive, but now it seems like she's really getting her own personality along with her expressions. I feel bad that she's got baby acne, but it shouldn't be much longer before that goes away.
Clara is a fantastic sleeper. She likes to be awake for a while after she's done her main 6-8 hour stretch at night, which is a little bit annoying but even if I don't get the opportunity to go back to sleep after that, I've generally still gotten an uninterrupted night, even if it is short. And she's never up for more than an hour during the night, so I don't have those disastrous 1AM to 4AM nights. It makes such a huge difference in how I can function!
Clara is also very strong! She's been doing great with tummy time, lifting her head and looking back and forth. She likes to hold her own head up if carried vertically - no snuggling into your chest unless she's already half-asleep. We've gone for a couple of walks with her in the baby carrier, and she is super unhappy if she's facing in, but she loves facing out! She has started using her legs when she's mad, she'll straighten them out and flex her little muscles, which is so cute because her legs are so small!! It also makes me feel like it's all right for her to be a little upset once in a while, cuz she gets some more exercise that way. Other than that, she's really a chilled out baby.
One of the biggest things to report is that our nanny started! It's been 3 weeks and the girls really like her. She's taken them fun places, she's really gotten to know them. There have been a few things I've had to get used to, like someone else cooking in my kitchen, and being second in command when she's here during the day, but the latter will go away once I'm gone at work while she's here. For now, I am enjoying that Travis will leave the door unlocked when he leaves, and she comes on in before I'm even up, some days. It's music to my ears when she walks in and greets my girls and immediately asks them if they'd like breakfast. I can snooze a few more minutes, or get nice relaxed shower. Luxury, I tell ya. I really think it's worth the money to make my life easier for now. I don't like to shop, I don't spend much money on actual "stuff", but spending money to improve an experience is totally worth it, I think.
There are a few especially funny (or notable) things that the girls have done lately, but I'll just get this posted and add another entry later this week. Maybe I'll have time in Rockford to write.
Also this past week, Travis also had to travel for work, an opportunity he couldn't pass up. The meeting was in South Africa, so he left Tuesday for Johannesburg and came back Saturday. Between his jetlag and my exhaustion from the stress of the trial and caring for 3 kids on my own, we were pretty worthless yesterday. But today is better, since Trav slept 10+ hours and I slept the same 8 hours as Clara. Next week, Trav is in Miami for most of the week, so I'm taking the girls to my parents' for a few days. The week of Ragbrai, though, he is taking vacation! He originally planned to bike a few days, but when the South Africa trip came up, he figured it made more sense to just keep the vacation week but do things as a family, just around Des Moines, instead. I can't wait!
Travis didn't get to see much of anything while he was there, because it was so work-intensive, but he did bring back a vuvuzela and a couple baby stuffed animals for the kids (giraffe for Emily, elephant for Audrey, and a lion for Clara). The girls most enjoyed the vuvuzela, though. Travis would give it a loud honk and they'd jump and giggle and run around the house.
So the most fun thing: Clara has started talking! Jenny was playing a video for E and A, and I started singing the song for Clara, since we were having the nicest little conversation at the time. The coolest part was the next day when I sang the same song for her, and she totally recognized it!! Her eyes lit up and she started talking (singing?) along with me. She even let out a really nice little squeal that she surprised herself with. :) I think we've got a chatty one on our hands. And her smile is so much more frequent and genuine now. It looks great on her - what a beauty! She's always been really bright-eyed and expressive, but now it seems like she's really getting her own personality along with her expressions. I feel bad that she's got baby acne, but it shouldn't be much longer before that goes away.
Clara is a fantastic sleeper. She likes to be awake for a while after she's done her main 6-8 hour stretch at night, which is a little bit annoying but even if I don't get the opportunity to go back to sleep after that, I've generally still gotten an uninterrupted night, even if it is short. And she's never up for more than an hour during the night, so I don't have those disastrous 1AM to 4AM nights. It makes such a huge difference in how I can function!
Clara is also very strong! She's been doing great with tummy time, lifting her head and looking back and forth. She likes to hold her own head up if carried vertically - no snuggling into your chest unless she's already half-asleep. We've gone for a couple of walks with her in the baby carrier, and she is super unhappy if she's facing in, but she loves facing out! She has started using her legs when she's mad, she'll straighten them out and flex her little muscles, which is so cute because her legs are so small!! It also makes me feel like it's all right for her to be a little upset once in a while, cuz she gets some more exercise that way. Other than that, she's really a chilled out baby.
One of the biggest things to report is that our nanny started! It's been 3 weeks and the girls really like her. She's taken them fun places, she's really gotten to know them. There have been a few things I've had to get used to, like someone else cooking in my kitchen, and being second in command when she's here during the day, but the latter will go away once I'm gone at work while she's here. For now, I am enjoying that Travis will leave the door unlocked when he leaves, and she comes on in before I'm even up, some days. It's music to my ears when she walks in and greets my girls and immediately asks them if they'd like breakfast. I can snooze a few more minutes, or get nice relaxed shower. Luxury, I tell ya. I really think it's worth the money to make my life easier for now. I don't like to shop, I don't spend much money on actual "stuff", but spending money to improve an experience is totally worth it, I think.
There are a few especially funny (or notable) things that the girls have done lately, but I'll just get this posted and add another entry later this week. Maybe I'll have time in Rockford to write.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Almost smiling
I think Clara is trying to smile! It is so tremendously cute. Especially in the mornings, she'll have the most pleasant look on her face, and really try to smile! It looks great on her - can't wait to see its full glory.
Today was a wonderful summer day. The girls went to Ms. Teri's for the last time this morning, and they were not at all confused or concerned by it. Ms. Teri was very reassuring and gave them big hugs, lots of love, and then got all teary as we walked out the door together. It was hard to leave, but I'm really sure that I'm doing the right thing. She truly does love my kids, though, so I hope I didn't burn any bridges.
It's interesting to think about what is different between each pregnancy, each child. This time, whenever I nurse Clara, I get the most horrendous, overwhelming feeling. It happens about 30 seconds before my milk lets down, so sometimes that's as we sit down to nurse, and sometimes it's just after a passing thought of my baby, or just a totally random moment. But I have this feeling of dread, anxiety, and guilt, all at once, almost to the point where my stomach is upset and I kind of want to throw up. It would be one thing if it was just a feeling, but it lasts long enough to manifest itself into actual thoughts, like, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with Audrey, feeling anxious about whether I made the right daycare decision, or dreading going back to work. And that's just the tip of the iceberg - I have lots to feel guilty or anxious about, I guess! It's weird, because I'll get wrapped up in this feeling, and then consciously tell myself that I'm only thinking that because I'm letting down, and I've got enough time to finish whatever I was doing (brushing my teeth, fixing a sandwich, carrying a child) in order to clutch myself for the letdown. It's ridiculous, and mentally tough work! I can see how new mothers can get postpartum depression, if their hormones or chemistry is dictating these thoughts into their heads all the time, instead of just 30-second intervals throughout the day. I don't remember it being this vivid with either Emily or Audrey; I think I would've described it then as suspenseful, like the top of a rollercoaster kind of feeling. Anyway, I'm tired of it, and would like my brain back!!!
Clara continues to be a good sleeper. She generally is only awake once per night, eats well, and goes back to sleep after a change. I could not be more thankful!! It's funny that right now I feel like I can continue this schedule, no problem, but as soon as I get more sleep I won't be able to go back to this, once teething or sicknesses keep her up at night.
We're going to start the cloth diapers tomorrow. I've got them all folded and ready, and I think they'll fit her okay. I have a feeling that she'll go through her allotment of 7 diapers each day really quickly, and we'll use a fair amount of disposables still, but that's fine with me, since I planned on using disposables at night anyway. I've gotta say I'm actually excited about it, so we'll see how long it takes before I decide that they're a pain - and get tired of the stink! She's starting to blow out the size 1's, so hopefully these will be a little more secure.
Clara had her 2-week checkup this week, although she turned 3 weeks old today! She was 10 lbs, 2 oz, and had grown more than an inch in length!! She's of the chart for head size and height, but hovering near the top for weight. She charmed everybody with how alert and beautiful she is, and did a great job tolerating all the poking and manhandling. Emily chatted on and on, telling the nurse and doctor all about Clara, while Audrey saw an opportunity to get into trouble. Guess those birth-order roles are getting more and more solidified!
I should write more about what Emily and Audrey are up to these days, but I'm tired, and this seems like an adequate posting so I'll quit. G'night!
Today was a wonderful summer day. The girls went to Ms. Teri's for the last time this morning, and they were not at all confused or concerned by it. Ms. Teri was very reassuring and gave them big hugs, lots of love, and then got all teary as we walked out the door together. It was hard to leave, but I'm really sure that I'm doing the right thing. She truly does love my kids, though, so I hope I didn't burn any bridges.
It's interesting to think about what is different between each pregnancy, each child. This time, whenever I nurse Clara, I get the most horrendous, overwhelming feeling. It happens about 30 seconds before my milk lets down, so sometimes that's as we sit down to nurse, and sometimes it's just after a passing thought of my baby, or just a totally random moment. But I have this feeling of dread, anxiety, and guilt, all at once, almost to the point where my stomach is upset and I kind of want to throw up. It would be one thing if it was just a feeling, but it lasts long enough to manifest itself into actual thoughts, like, feeling guilty about not spending enough time with Audrey, feeling anxious about whether I made the right daycare decision, or dreading going back to work. And that's just the tip of the iceberg - I have lots to feel guilty or anxious about, I guess! It's weird, because I'll get wrapped up in this feeling, and then consciously tell myself that I'm only thinking that because I'm letting down, and I've got enough time to finish whatever I was doing (brushing my teeth, fixing a sandwich, carrying a child) in order to clutch myself for the letdown. It's ridiculous, and mentally tough work! I can see how new mothers can get postpartum depression, if their hormones or chemistry is dictating these thoughts into their heads all the time, instead of just 30-second intervals throughout the day. I don't remember it being this vivid with either Emily or Audrey; I think I would've described it then as suspenseful, like the top of a rollercoaster kind of feeling. Anyway, I'm tired of it, and would like my brain back!!!
Clara continues to be a good sleeper. She generally is only awake once per night, eats well, and goes back to sleep after a change. I could not be more thankful!! It's funny that right now I feel like I can continue this schedule, no problem, but as soon as I get more sleep I won't be able to go back to this, once teething or sicknesses keep her up at night.
We're going to start the cloth diapers tomorrow. I've got them all folded and ready, and I think they'll fit her okay. I have a feeling that she'll go through her allotment of 7 diapers each day really quickly, and we'll use a fair amount of disposables still, but that's fine with me, since I planned on using disposables at night anyway. I've gotta say I'm actually excited about it, so we'll see how long it takes before I decide that they're a pain - and get tired of the stink! She's starting to blow out the size 1's, so hopefully these will be a little more secure.
Clara had her 2-week checkup this week, although she turned 3 weeks old today! She was 10 lbs, 2 oz, and had grown more than an inch in length!! She's of the chart for head size and height, but hovering near the top for weight. She charmed everybody with how alert and beautiful she is, and did a great job tolerating all the poking and manhandling. Emily chatted on and on, telling the nurse and doctor all about Clara, while Audrey saw an opportunity to get into trouble. Guess those birth-order roles are getting more and more solidified!
I should write more about what Emily and Audrey are up to these days, but I'm tired, and this seems like an adequate posting so I'll quit. G'night!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Raving about my little one
So, it's been a busy week. :)
Little Clara is an excellent sleeper. She's been regularly doing 3-4 hour sleep stretches at night, and once slept for SIX straight hours! She eats quickly and goes right back to sleep, so I'm generally only up with her for less than 30 minutes each time, and I'm really feeling good as a result. I've had a lot of help over the past week and been able to physically take it easy for long enough that I'm thinking I can start doing things like going for short walks, or doing more physical activities around the house. For now, I'm just enjoying being able to curl up on the couch with a gigantic awkward belly in my way. I've lost 25 lbs in 10 days - also a good feeling. :) I can now climb a flight of stairs without getting winded!! I'm started to get regulated with Clara's appetite, too, so the soreness in my boobs is going away now, too. Such a relief!
But enough about me. Clara had a checkup on Tuesday, where she was only 1 oz shy of her birthweight, so that's awesome. She also passed a bilirubin check, since the doc thought she might be a bit on the jaundiced side, but I think she was coming out of that. She was pretty yellow on Sunday but by Tuesday she had pinked up again, and the check confirmed that. She's definitely like her sisters - nearly every diaper is poopy, and she puts on some serious displays of capability on that end. I think it's funny that my mom is so impressed by her output, but her other grandma thinks nothing of it - totally normal for a Sullivan, I guess!!
One morning, she woke up and looked at me with a Travis expression on her face, much to my surprise since to that point she had looked like sleeping baby Kristin. But the shape of her face, around her eyes, is definitely Travis's. She is such a pretty baby!! I swear she's trying to smile at us. It's not like she has a broad range of expressions yet, but she does have different looks when she's staring intently and thinking hard versus enjoying wiggling and hearing her sisters talk. She has such a pleasant expression then that it seems like a smile! Her little legs are long and skinny and floppy, and she really swings her arms around a lot when she's talking with her sisters.
Emily asks all the time if she can hold her, and if I set her up in the blue chair with the boppy, she does a great job and both girls really enjoy it. Audrey calls her Baby, because I think she knows when she tries to say Clara it comes out more like Carla, and if it's not right, she avoids it. :) But she's just as affectionate towards her sister... and opportunistic when it comes to us being distracted by the baby. Check out our family picture site for the mascara incident as just one example of how she is taking advantage of our diverted attention. She's a little stinker!
The big activity for this weekend is that we are writing a contract to hire a nanny! We interviewed a girl, Amanda, on Thursday who seems to be a great fit for our family. I'm really excited, and will have her here for 8 weeks before I go back to work. I know that seems a little crazy, but I have already put together a list of things I want to be working on while she has primary care of the kids. It's the kind of stuff you always think you'll do on maternity leave but of course you don't. Well, I stand a better chance this way, at least! I'm also hoping to use it to get 1-on-1 time with Emily and with Audrey, for maybe a special outing here nad there. It'll be so much easier when I do go back to work, because Clara will be in her own home with a familiar person, and being home on leave when Amand starts will make it easier for each of us to figure out how the other operates. The hardest part about this will be telling our current sitter, because she really is truly crazy about our kids. She knew we were looking, so it's not a surprise to her, but I still feel bad because the things that prompted us to go this route aren't things she can really fix. It's like breaking up with her "It's not you, it's me"-style.
Time to track down Audrey for a snooze. I suggested a nap to her yesterday at about this time, and she found her blanket and wandered off. About 10 minutes later I asked if anyone knew where she was - she was in bed!! My mom pulled down the shade in her room for her and kissed her forehead, and that was it. If only it was that easy at bedtime. :)
Little Clara is an excellent sleeper. She's been regularly doing 3-4 hour sleep stretches at night, and once slept for SIX straight hours! She eats quickly and goes right back to sleep, so I'm generally only up with her for less than 30 minutes each time, and I'm really feeling good as a result. I've had a lot of help over the past week and been able to physically take it easy for long enough that I'm thinking I can start doing things like going for short walks, or doing more physical activities around the house. For now, I'm just enjoying being able to curl up on the couch with a gigantic awkward belly in my way. I've lost 25 lbs in 10 days - also a good feeling. :) I can now climb a flight of stairs without getting winded!! I'm started to get regulated with Clara's appetite, too, so the soreness in my boobs is going away now, too. Such a relief!
But enough about me. Clara had a checkup on Tuesday, where she was only 1 oz shy of her birthweight, so that's awesome. She also passed a bilirubin check, since the doc thought she might be a bit on the jaundiced side, but I think she was coming out of that. She was pretty yellow on Sunday but by Tuesday she had pinked up again, and the check confirmed that. She's definitely like her sisters - nearly every diaper is poopy, and she puts on some serious displays of capability on that end. I think it's funny that my mom is so impressed by her output, but her other grandma thinks nothing of it - totally normal for a Sullivan, I guess!!
One morning, she woke up and looked at me with a Travis expression on her face, much to my surprise since to that point she had looked like sleeping baby Kristin. But the shape of her face, around her eyes, is definitely Travis's. She is such a pretty baby!! I swear she's trying to smile at us. It's not like she has a broad range of expressions yet, but she does have different looks when she's staring intently and thinking hard versus enjoying wiggling and hearing her sisters talk. She has such a pleasant expression then that it seems like a smile! Her little legs are long and skinny and floppy, and she really swings her arms around a lot when she's talking with her sisters.
Emily asks all the time if she can hold her, and if I set her up in the blue chair with the boppy, she does a great job and both girls really enjoy it. Audrey calls her Baby, because I think she knows when she tries to say Clara it comes out more like Carla, and if it's not right, she avoids it. :) But she's just as affectionate towards her sister... and opportunistic when it comes to us being distracted by the baby. Check out our family picture site for the mascara incident as just one example of how she is taking advantage of our diverted attention. She's a little stinker!
The big activity for this weekend is that we are writing a contract to hire a nanny! We interviewed a girl, Amanda, on Thursday who seems to be a great fit for our family. I'm really excited, and will have her here for 8 weeks before I go back to work. I know that seems a little crazy, but I have already put together a list of things I want to be working on while she has primary care of the kids. It's the kind of stuff you always think you'll do on maternity leave but of course you don't. Well, I stand a better chance this way, at least! I'm also hoping to use it to get 1-on-1 time with Emily and with Audrey, for maybe a special outing here nad there. It'll be so much easier when I do go back to work, because Clara will be in her own home with a familiar person, and being home on leave when Amand starts will make it easier for each of us to figure out how the other operates. The hardest part about this will be telling our current sitter, because she really is truly crazy about our kids. She knew we were looking, so it's not a surprise to her, but I still feel bad because the things that prompted us to go this route aren't things she can really fix. It's like breaking up with her "It's not you, it's me"-style.
Time to track down Audrey for a snooze. I suggested a nap to her yesterday at about this time, and she found her blanket and wandered off. About 10 minutes later I asked if anyone knew where she was - she was in bed!! My mom pulled down the shade in her room for her and kissed her forehead, and that was it. If only it was that easy at bedtime. :)
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Clara Nicole Sullivan
She's here! She's here! She's here!!!
I have about 20 minutes so I'll type as fast as I can to document the story of Clara's birth.
Travis and I left the girls with Nancy and drove downtown to Methodist for an 8AM induction appointment. Things got started at about 9 AM with a pitocin drip, which was super fun. I had had contractions since about 5 AM, but only enough to keep me awake and not enough to do any good at all. They broke my water at about 10:30, but that caused baby's heart rate to drop and she freaked out a little, too. The nurse checked me, suspecting a prolapsed cord, but fortunately that wasn't the case! Phew! That really scared me, because I did NOT want a C-Section, nor the drama of a prolapsed cord!! But it meant that they turned the pitocin off, and had to start over again at the lowest dose, so we spent the morning just waiting, and socializing with the nurses. Finally, the contractions got frequent and regular enough that they called the anaesthesiologist, which I thought should have been done a lot sooner because I kept saying I had nothing to prove, the sooner the better. It was pretty agonizing by the time he got there. The pitocin gave me the shakes, and I was freezing cold and shaking on the edge of the bed, clinging to a nurse, writhing in pain... it was horrible. But then after the anaesthetic took effect, it was amazing. I told Travis that it was kind of like the feeling you get when you've been struggling to stay afloat in freezing cold water, and finally you get out of the water, dry off, and catch your breath, and your toes finally get warm again and then you relax. It was that good of a feeling, only better because the pain beforehand was a LOT worse than swimming in freezing cold water!!
So, after that was all taken care of, I took a nap. :) I slept for about half an hour, then the nurses had to check something and rolled me over. Once I did that, I could totally tell that I was ready to have the baby. About half an hour and two key contractions later, she was born!! She was very, very purple, but beautiful and round right away, not at all red and wrinkley. I got to hold her for a few minutes, and then Trav was with her at the warming table, where she didn't scream much at all. He said a few of the nurses were impressed when her head circumference was announced - such a proud dad! And then they weighed her, and sure enough, she beat her sisters for size.
Since then, it's been a crazy mess of people coming to see her, coming to help me, coming to watch the girls... and now it's quiet while Travis takes the girls to the park in the Burley behind his bike, and Clara sleeps. Clara and I had some quiet time together in the hospital, which was really nice, but I think the massive amount of pitocin, and some other factors including a horribly uncomfortable hospital bed, made it hard for me to relax and sleep so I didn't really any solid rest until I slept in my own bed last night. Clara had a great night last night - only up twice, each time just a quick change, eat, back to sleep - so I'm hoping she's got another one of those for me tonight. She's napped a lot today, but also had two or three good hour-long awake times, so I'm hopeful. I'm still pretty sore, but feeling a little better each day. I'm impressed with just how atrophied I am!!
And, might I mention, Clara is just BEAUTIFUL. Her eyes are so deep and alert, and her face is just a perfect shape, and so soft!! She seems really mellow so far, although writing that probably means that I just jinxed it. :) After all the visitors she's seen, she follows the sound of my voice whenever I reappear, and Travis's and the girls' voices, too. My parents have been marveling at how much she looks like my baby pictures, but I'm sure she's Travis's kid: She's already had her first blowout diaper! She's spent all day today eating and pooping, so we're moving up out of newborn size to size 1 already. Her stash of cloth diapers is ready and waiting, but it'll be a few weeks before we venture to that. She also has the same relaxed, long legs that Emily had as a newborn, which I credit her Sullivan side for, also.
The girls are just infatuated with her, and very loving. They have obviously been stressed by all of this, and I'm seeing some behaviors from both of them that are unusual for them, but really not much and nothing that's at all concerning. Travis and I tried out some of our favorite girl names by having Emily and Audrey say them out loud for us, and to hear them say "Clara" really sealed the deal for us. My favorite moment of this whole experience so far -- Travis was holding Clara, with Emily and Audrey on his lap, too, and he asked them if they would like to sing Happy Birthday to Clara because it was, in fact, her birth day. They did, together, and it was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. And Clara stared back at them both, VERY intently. I can't even describe the feeling... It was a moment I want to hold in my heart forever.
We are so lucky, so happy, and so very overwhelmed by everything. My heart is full!
I have about 20 minutes so I'll type as fast as I can to document the story of Clara's birth.
Travis and I left the girls with Nancy and drove downtown to Methodist for an 8AM induction appointment. Things got started at about 9 AM with a pitocin drip, which was super fun. I had had contractions since about 5 AM, but only enough to keep me awake and not enough to do any good at all. They broke my water at about 10:30, but that caused baby's heart rate to drop and she freaked out a little, too. The nurse checked me, suspecting a prolapsed cord, but fortunately that wasn't the case! Phew! That really scared me, because I did NOT want a C-Section, nor the drama of a prolapsed cord!! But it meant that they turned the pitocin off, and had to start over again at the lowest dose, so we spent the morning just waiting, and socializing with the nurses. Finally, the contractions got frequent and regular enough that they called the anaesthesiologist, which I thought should have been done a lot sooner because I kept saying I had nothing to prove, the sooner the better. It was pretty agonizing by the time he got there. The pitocin gave me the shakes, and I was freezing cold and shaking on the edge of the bed, clinging to a nurse, writhing in pain... it was horrible. But then after the anaesthetic took effect, it was amazing. I told Travis that it was kind of like the feeling you get when you've been struggling to stay afloat in freezing cold water, and finally you get out of the water, dry off, and catch your breath, and your toes finally get warm again and then you relax. It was that good of a feeling, only better because the pain beforehand was a LOT worse than swimming in freezing cold water!!
So, after that was all taken care of, I took a nap. :) I slept for about half an hour, then the nurses had to check something and rolled me over. Once I did that, I could totally tell that I was ready to have the baby. About half an hour and two key contractions later, she was born!! She was very, very purple, but beautiful and round right away, not at all red and wrinkley. I got to hold her for a few minutes, and then Trav was with her at the warming table, where she didn't scream much at all. He said a few of the nurses were impressed when her head circumference was announced - such a proud dad! And then they weighed her, and sure enough, she beat her sisters for size.
Since then, it's been a crazy mess of people coming to see her, coming to help me, coming to watch the girls... and now it's quiet while Travis takes the girls to the park in the Burley behind his bike, and Clara sleeps. Clara and I had some quiet time together in the hospital, which was really nice, but I think the massive amount of pitocin, and some other factors including a horribly uncomfortable hospital bed, made it hard for me to relax and sleep so I didn't really any solid rest until I slept in my own bed last night. Clara had a great night last night - only up twice, each time just a quick change, eat, back to sleep - so I'm hoping she's got another one of those for me tonight. She's napped a lot today, but also had two or three good hour-long awake times, so I'm hopeful. I'm still pretty sore, but feeling a little better each day. I'm impressed with just how atrophied I am!!
And, might I mention, Clara is just BEAUTIFUL. Her eyes are so deep and alert, and her face is just a perfect shape, and so soft!! She seems really mellow so far, although writing that probably means that I just jinxed it. :) After all the visitors she's seen, she follows the sound of my voice whenever I reappear, and Travis's and the girls' voices, too. My parents have been marveling at how much she looks like my baby pictures, but I'm sure she's Travis's kid: She's already had her first blowout diaper! She's spent all day today eating and pooping, so we're moving up out of newborn size to size 1 already. Her stash of cloth diapers is ready and waiting, but it'll be a few weeks before we venture to that. She also has the same relaxed, long legs that Emily had as a newborn, which I credit her Sullivan side for, also.
The girls are just infatuated with her, and very loving. They have obviously been stressed by all of this, and I'm seeing some behaviors from both of them that are unusual for them, but really not much and nothing that's at all concerning. Travis and I tried out some of our favorite girl names by having Emily and Audrey say them out loud for us, and to hear them say "Clara" really sealed the deal for us. My favorite moment of this whole experience so far -- Travis was holding Clara, with Emily and Audrey on his lap, too, and he asked them if they would like to sing Happy Birthday to Clara because it was, in fact, her birth day. They did, together, and it was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. And Clara stared back at them both, VERY intently. I can't even describe the feeling... It was a moment I want to hold in my heart forever.
We are so lucky, so happy, and so very overwhelmed by everything. My heart is full!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Finish line is finally in sight
Today is my last day to be pregnant! haha!!! My induction is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 AM. There was a bit of complication yesterday during my doctor's appointment, because they saw that Baby's bladder was very full and she wouldn't empty it during the entire ultrasound (checking amniotic fluid level, which was totally fine). they thought maybe it wasn't her bladder after all but could possibly be a cyst, so I went back in today and they looked it over and everything was fine. So, no worries after all, and the girls got to see the ultrasound, which Emily enjoyed.
And, I went to the chiropractor, who got my hips back in the right place, finally. I am so relieved!! I felt so much better when things popped back into place on Sunday that I thought I had gotten it back in place, but it's SO much better now that I'm really glad I got this appointment in before things start happening tomorrow. And I will admit I was a little smug when Audrey read off the letters of a FedEx truck parked outside the office, and my chiropractor was much impressed. Hee hee - I deserve to enjoy that, right?
So, that's the latest. I am mentally feeling much, much better. Physically, I'll be fine for one more day, as long as it doesn't have to be an undetermined amount of time, because that is just torturous. May 31 sounds like a lovely birthday, doesn't it? And if it happens to turn into June 1, well, that'll just make things interesting with HR, won't it? ha!
And, I went to the chiropractor, who got my hips back in the right place, finally. I am so relieved!! I felt so much better when things popped back into place on Sunday that I thought I had gotten it back in place, but it's SO much better now that I'm really glad I got this appointment in before things start happening tomorrow. And I will admit I was a little smug when Audrey read off the letters of a FedEx truck parked outside the office, and my chiropractor was much impressed. Hee hee - I deserve to enjoy that, right?
So, that's the latest. I am mentally feeling much, much better. Physically, I'll be fine for one more day, as long as it doesn't have to be an undetermined amount of time, because that is just torturous. May 31 sounds like a lovely birthday, doesn't it? And if it happens to turn into June 1, well, that'll just make things interesting with HR, won't it? ha!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Still waiting.
I called my doctor's office on Friday and talked to a nurse about rescheduling my regular appointment on Tuesday for an induction instead. She reassured me that they wouldn't let me go past 41 weeks... while at the same time saying they wouldn't do anything until 41 weeks. So, which is it?! Then she either hung up on me or the connection was lost on her end, and she didn't call back. At which point I muttered an insult I won't repeat here and proceeded to just get madder and madder. I had a rough night last night, and a few contractions this morning, which made me optimistic about having this baby on Travis's birthday (tomorrow) but it's been a quiet afternoon so I'm back to figuring I'll have to show up Tuesday at that appointment and cry.
So I'm going to try to use this post to talk about the great things my girls are up to lately.
Audrey is really into puzzles these days. We have a few 24piece, age 3+ puzzles that she whips together like nothing, and even a 35-piece puzzle that she has the patience to do at least twice ("Wan do ageen?") if I'm sitting with her, conversing about the pieces she's putting together. I'm thinking this will be a great activity for her when I have to sit with my arms full of baby, and can't physically interact with her or Emily. And it's amazing to watch her figure it all out. And Audrey has been talking a lot more lately. She's getting easier to understand, and she's finding it satisfying that she can use her words to solve a problem. She has a fantastic little giggle that comes out when she's gotten her way because she was able to tell me how to fix things. That's gotta be a thrill, when her only tools up to this point have been howling and hoping.
Emily and Audrey were over at my neighbor's the other day, and got to work with some washable paints. They were SO thrilled, but the funniest thing was the difference in their artwork. Emily made 6 or 8 neat oval blobs of each color on the page, while Audrey brushed probably at least 10 different colors all right next to each other, but not overlapping. It was crazy, the difference - Emily's looked like an organized analysis of color while Audrey's was art. We also watched a video of a friend's boy who was singing along with the piano as he played a C scale up an octave. Audrey sat with me and sang along, while Emily ran to the piano and did exactly what the boy did. It was fun to see them jump at the idea like that, like, "Cool, can I do that too? Yup. Cool." I set them up with the kiddie swimming pool, and instead of putting water in it, I left it on the porch and put a bunch of scrap papers and scissors in it, and they cut like crazy for a week. They're both pretty skilled with their scissors!
Emily is so excited to meet her sister. It's been crazy to see her be so grown up lately. What a little lady!! I wish I could recall specific examples of how she speaks, because it's so delicate and vocabulary-rich. And thoughtful! She often, out of the blue, says, "Mom, I love you!" and Audrey parrots, "MommyAyeLawwYou." Emily really had a good time with one of the busybag activities that had a phonics exercise, spelling rhyming words using paint chips. She's just starting to think about how to sound out a word; sometimes she's really up for thinking about it, but often she just wants to read the book. At Easter, I made her hunt for the word "egg" on the page, in addition to finding the eggs in the picture, which she thought was fun sometimes but didn't want to think about other times. I sure don't want to push her, but it's SO fun when she's ready to absorb information, just watching the gears in her head go, and seeing her get excited when she figures stuff out. Or tries on a new word that she just learned, like, testing it out to see if she had it right. What a great little brain.
I've made connections with a potential nanny candidate, who I think seems very promising. She is trying to get her own vocal studio going, giving lessons during the day, but I think she has a tough challenge of finding students, especially ones that could come during the day instead of after school. She's going to get back to me at the end of the week, at which point I should have news of baby, and maybe we can find a time to chat after that. It's nice to have a lead, but also nice to know that I've got the summer ahead of me before I must have a solution.
I don't think it's worth documenting on this forum the disaster I had with HR last week. Basically, they won't actually act on the promotion that's been approved for me because they don't think I'll be at work on June 1, meaning the pay increase won't go into effect until after I come back to work in the fall because my boss was two days late with paperwork. I probably could be still at work on June 1, at this rate, so it would be interesting to see their reaction when I report the baby's birthday as June 2. But I guess I'd rather just have the baby, even though it would be satisfying to prove those jerks wrong. The situation is actually more complicated with apparently HR imaccurately relaying things to my boss that I thought I had said in the confidentiality of an HR office, but I'm trying to just let it all go. There truly is nothing I can do about it, which is maddening in itself!! This will mean that two out of my three maternity leaves, I'll have left work on such a note that I'm too pissed at HR to sleep at night. Let's see if 5 years of maturity has gotten me anywhere... rats. oh well.
So I'm going to try to use this post to talk about the great things my girls are up to lately.
Audrey is really into puzzles these days. We have a few 24piece, age 3+ puzzles that she whips together like nothing, and even a 35-piece puzzle that she has the patience to do at least twice ("Wan do ageen?") if I'm sitting with her, conversing about the pieces she's putting together. I'm thinking this will be a great activity for her when I have to sit with my arms full of baby, and can't physically interact with her or Emily. And it's amazing to watch her figure it all out. And Audrey has been talking a lot more lately. She's getting easier to understand, and she's finding it satisfying that she can use her words to solve a problem. She has a fantastic little giggle that comes out when she's gotten her way because she was able to tell me how to fix things. That's gotta be a thrill, when her only tools up to this point have been howling and hoping.
Emily and Audrey were over at my neighbor's the other day, and got to work with some washable paints. They were SO thrilled, but the funniest thing was the difference in their artwork. Emily made 6 or 8 neat oval blobs of each color on the page, while Audrey brushed probably at least 10 different colors all right next to each other, but not overlapping. It was crazy, the difference - Emily's looked like an organized analysis of color while Audrey's was art. We also watched a video of a friend's boy who was singing along with the piano as he played a C scale up an octave. Audrey sat with me and sang along, while Emily ran to the piano and did exactly what the boy did. It was fun to see them jump at the idea like that, like, "Cool, can I do that too? Yup. Cool." I set them up with the kiddie swimming pool, and instead of putting water in it, I left it on the porch and put a bunch of scrap papers and scissors in it, and they cut like crazy for a week. They're both pretty skilled with their scissors!
Emily is so excited to meet her sister. It's been crazy to see her be so grown up lately. What a little lady!! I wish I could recall specific examples of how she speaks, because it's so delicate and vocabulary-rich. And thoughtful! She often, out of the blue, says, "Mom, I love you!" and Audrey parrots, "MommyAyeLawwYou." Emily really had a good time with one of the busybag activities that had a phonics exercise, spelling rhyming words using paint chips. She's just starting to think about how to sound out a word; sometimes she's really up for thinking about it, but often she just wants to read the book. At Easter, I made her hunt for the word "egg" on the page, in addition to finding the eggs in the picture, which she thought was fun sometimes but didn't want to think about other times. I sure don't want to push her, but it's SO fun when she's ready to absorb information, just watching the gears in her head go, and seeing her get excited when she figures stuff out. Or tries on a new word that she just learned, like, testing it out to see if she had it right. What a great little brain.
I've made connections with a potential nanny candidate, who I think seems very promising. She is trying to get her own vocal studio going, giving lessons during the day, but I think she has a tough challenge of finding students, especially ones that could come during the day instead of after school. She's going to get back to me at the end of the week, at which point I should have news of baby, and maybe we can find a time to chat after that. It's nice to have a lead, but also nice to know that I've got the summer ahead of me before I must have a solution.
I don't think it's worth documenting on this forum the disaster I had with HR last week. Basically, they won't actually act on the promotion that's been approved for me because they don't think I'll be at work on June 1, meaning the pay increase won't go into effect until after I come back to work in the fall because my boss was two days late with paperwork. I probably could be still at work on June 1, at this rate, so it would be interesting to see their reaction when I report the baby's birthday as June 2. But I guess I'd rather just have the baby, even though it would be satisfying to prove those jerks wrong. The situation is actually more complicated with apparently HR imaccurately relaying things to my boss that I thought I had said in the confidentiality of an HR office, but I'm trying to just let it all go. There truly is nothing I can do about it, which is maddening in itself!! This will mean that two out of my three maternity leaves, I'll have left work on such a note that I'm too pissed at HR to sleep at night. Let's see if 5 years of maturity has gotten me anywhere... rats. oh well.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Almost there... almost...
So, tomorrow is my due date. I had a doctor's appointment and declined to have my membranes stripped this time, since it did no good last week. I haven't had any notable contractions this week, nothing that wasn't brought on by my unreasonable desires to stand up or walk more than a few steps. I'm so disappointed and annoyed. I was even disappointed to wake up this morning, still pregnant, since that was the night that I went into labor with Audrey. It was so nice to not make it to 40 weeks with her, and have her come in under 9 pounds. They (as in, everybody) say the third baby always comes so quickly, it'll come sooner, even if she's bigger it'll be easier because you've done it before, be ready be ready be ready... and here I am reliving the nightmare that I had with Emily. Couldn't convince the doctor that an induction would actually work for me, or that the size of the baby is at all concerning. He said, "Well, she's certainly not a 6-lb baby, but you've got a pretty good pelvis. I'm not concerned." *sigh* Because every woman WANTS to push out enormous children. It's hard to recover, it's a harder delivery, it's absolutely horrendous to carry around. Yep, he's not concerned. Great.
So, do I go to work tomorrow? Well, why not, right? I've already paid for the girls to go to daycare, and if I were to stay at home I'd either work myself to exhaustion since there's so much around here that I haven't been able to take care of, or lay around feeling guilty about not doing it and annoyed that I'm not having a baby. I can be a mom to 2 busy girls OR be enormously pregnant, but I can't seem to pull both off at the same time anymore.
I find it mystifying that I was too pregnant to clean bathrooms at 7 months pregnant but either it's fine for me to do it now, or it's fine to not clean them again until I'm no longer pregnant - GROSS. And how having the dishwasher loaded means that the kitchen is clean. And a specific request to put the carseat into the van so that Emily can still buckle her own seatbelt translates into spending the afternoon replacing the expandable foam down the center of the driveway (!?!?!). Didn't realize that was critical to the function of our house! But, overall Travis has been a good sport in transporting laundry up and down flights of stairs, and tolerating how pathetic our meals have been, and doing a really big share of chasing down screams of terror when the girls have trouble getting along (they're really remarkably easy to resolve - great kids!). I've had a really hard time getting to sleep lately, so I've been letting him fall asleep first and then coming to bed later so my tossing and turning doesn't keep him up.
I think the baby has dropped, finally, so it is much easier to eat and breathe, though much harder to walk. I am figuring this baby has Emily's headshape, instead of Audrey's. My theory is that Audrey's head lodged in my pelvis caused my water to break, and her head to have a visible dent around it after she was born, whereas Emily's long, narrow head didn't get wedged the same way. And I will be pregnant until I cry hard enough in my doctor's appointment that they take me seriously that this baby won't come out without help. Isn't that why I was supposed to have prenatal care?? "Oh, babies come when they're ready!" Then I won't bother with getting groped weekly!! Why bother, if you're not going to do anything to actually help me?!? Or believe me when I tell you what's going on with my body?
I just would really like to go into labor. Until then, I want to go underground and not have to talk to anyone so I don't have to hear about how they only made it to 38 weeks, or made it to 42 without complaining at all (right.).
So, do I go to work tomorrow? Well, why not, right? I've already paid for the girls to go to daycare, and if I were to stay at home I'd either work myself to exhaustion since there's so much around here that I haven't been able to take care of, or lay around feeling guilty about not doing it and annoyed that I'm not having a baby. I can be a mom to 2 busy girls OR be enormously pregnant, but I can't seem to pull both off at the same time anymore.
I find it mystifying that I was too pregnant to clean bathrooms at 7 months pregnant but either it's fine for me to do it now, or it's fine to not clean them again until I'm no longer pregnant - GROSS. And how having the dishwasher loaded means that the kitchen is clean. And a specific request to put the carseat into the van so that Emily can still buckle her own seatbelt translates into spending the afternoon replacing the expandable foam down the center of the driveway (!?!?!). Didn't realize that was critical to the function of our house! But, overall Travis has been a good sport in transporting laundry up and down flights of stairs, and tolerating how pathetic our meals have been, and doing a really big share of chasing down screams of terror when the girls have trouble getting along (they're really remarkably easy to resolve - great kids!). I've had a really hard time getting to sleep lately, so I've been letting him fall asleep first and then coming to bed later so my tossing and turning doesn't keep him up.
I think the baby has dropped, finally, so it is much easier to eat and breathe, though much harder to walk. I am figuring this baby has Emily's headshape, instead of Audrey's. My theory is that Audrey's head lodged in my pelvis caused my water to break, and her head to have a visible dent around it after she was born, whereas Emily's long, narrow head didn't get wedged the same way. And I will be pregnant until I cry hard enough in my doctor's appointment that they take me seriously that this baby won't come out without help. Isn't that why I was supposed to have prenatal care?? "Oh, babies come when they're ready!" Then I won't bother with getting groped weekly!! Why bother, if you're not going to do anything to actually help me?!? Or believe me when I tell you what's going on with my body?
I just would really like to go into labor. Until then, I want to go underground and not have to talk to anyone so I don't have to hear about how they only made it to 38 weeks, or made it to 42 without complaining at all (right.).
Friday, May 11, 2012
Merry month of May
Today was an absolutely beautiful day. The weather was perfect, and Trav decided to take the day off so having him around made it feel even more relaxed and vacation-y. He got everything on his to-do list done, and I got a lot of mine. The girls had a playdate with our neighbor friend who is Emily's age, and are now working together, putting together a puzzle on the couch next to me. They're so sweet. Of course they have terror moments, but watching them work together and talk so nicely to each other, it's great. Emily, today especially, has been showing incredible maturity and really executing all those little things we ask her to do that make the day go more smoothly. I know it's a lot of work for her, and probably unrealistically high and unfair expectations that we place on her, but she does such a great job that I forget how truly little she is. I try to tell her how much I appreciate her hard work in ways that point out that she should feel proud of herself, not necessarily that she has my approval. Audrey is getting more and more capable, finding little things she can do successfully like putting a clean garbage bag in the garbage while I tote the full bag to the bin outside, or bringing her plate into the kitchen from the table. They are amazing little girls... and this little baby sure has a lot of catching up to do!
My boss gave me the official thumbs-down on doing any more field visits, which is just fine because I'm so wiped out and just can't do it any more. Okay, I probably could but it just doesn't seem worth it for the physical pain and exhaustion (it's not like it's going to get my promotion going any faster, as it's stuck in the evil HR Vortex of Worthlessness... i mean, Global Job Evaluation. Whatever.). Every time I stand up, my under-belly aches, I have the start of a contraction, and I have to pee. So I prefer just to stay sitting. I had a good solid contraction at about 2 AM a few nights ago, and I got up to go to the bathroom because it was very reminiscent of the night that I went into labor with Audrey, but, no go. My doctor didn't even check me the next day because I was so clearly not in labor, and it doesn't really matter what I'm dilated to at this point if I'm not having productive contractions. It's all right - 12 more days (4 work days) until my due date. By that point, I'll be really anxious, but until then, well, I'm not really ready anyway. There's no hospital bag packed yet, for me or for baby. I finally ordered the cloth diapers today, but they won't be here for 3 weeks at the very soonest, so no hurry on that (we'd use disposable for a while at first, anyway). I think we're getting closer on a name, but who knows if it will fit once we see her. And if it doesn't, we have no backup plan!
I received my first recommendation for a potential nanny candidate this week, which was exciting. I don't know that she'll work out, schedulewise, but it's nice to see just how qualified and enthusiastic a candidate can be. I think we're on the right track, anyway. It's funny that it seems to be weird to hire a nanny, yet we've done the daycare thing for years now so it's not like we don't know what we want out of someone who's watching our kids during the day. Maybe it's a territory thing - when my kids are in someone else's home, I feel like I may have hired this person but she's running a business so the deference goes both ways. With a nanny, I've hired her to be in my home and do things the way I tell her. I'm not sure how to handle that much authority. :)
Last night was interesting. I went out to dinner with coworkers (one of whom was in town from Germany), and I got home just in time to help Travis with bathtime for the girls. Which is fortunate, because it was only our 2nd pooped-in bath in 4.5 years! The first was when Emily was an infant, so it's been a good stretch for us. Audrey was really embarassed, because she had already made one trip from the tub once successfully, but apparently didn't feel round two coming. So when I walked in the bathroom, the girls were standing naked and dripping in the bathroom while Travis scooped from the tub to the toilet - excellent timing! I suggested to the girls that they have a shower instead of a bath, and Emily was hesitant but Audrey was all excited. They LOVED it, Emily more so than Audrey, even. They thought it was hilarious, rinsing their hair in the "rain" and standing up to wash instead of sitting. They were so cute I wanted to take a picture, but I realized that would have been weird and not really captured the excitement from them anyway, which was really the cutest part. Trav really gave me the fun job, doing something special with the girls while he cleaned up a poopy bathtub. Lucky me!
Last weekend, we hosted a small gathering for a few of our Ragbrai friends, the regulars that we see often in Des Moines. Five years ago, when we visited Kerri out in Washington D.C. for the weekend, we went to a Mexi-tucky party since it was Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby in one day, and it was hilarious and fun. This weekend coincided again, so we decided to add another twist and have our own bike race, the same length as the Derby, 1.25 miles, hence: Mexibikentucky. We did two races - one for kids, on bikes and in trailers - and one real race for grownups. We also did a ladies' leisure ride, which was pretty fun, especially when we cut the route much shorter than the official route (it really was official! Emily and I made signs the day before and Travis posted them around the neighborhood.). Everyone had a great time with the biking and really got into the goofy premise of things, showing up in wild Derby-inspired hats and drinking tequila. Travis talked me into playing a bugle call before the race, which people loved but someone documented in a picture and I am mortified at how absolutely awful the picture is. I'm wearing a floppy, flowery hat and my ever-ill-fitting maternity clothes, playing a trumpet. It was ridiculous. But the whole affair was ridiculous, so I guess it's to be expected! Then we grilled some food, had a fire, drank mint juleps (bleh, apparently), and had a wonderful relaxed time with everyone.
Wednesday night, my coworker and friend Jonna hosted a baby shower for me, and it was the coolest thing. I've recently started tagging along with her Girls' Night Out group, since I knew more than half of these women anyway. They're pretty fun, and they take this obligation seriously - they WILL get out of the house without kids once per month. Jonna put together a party where people all did meal prep for 3 different meals plus cookies, and it was really fun and went off without a hitch. She was so well-organized and everything was so well-planned. I was so impressed, and went home feeling so loved and indebted. And well-fed! I have 5 meals ready for me in the freezer!
I really know a ton of great people, and got to see a lot of them in the past week. Id say that it's worth not being sequestered with a baby in order to participate in all of that, and good to be reminded of it just before I go "underground" for a few months. But I'm having a contraction right now and it sure would be nice if it were productive instead of just annoying. :)
My boss gave me the official thumbs-down on doing any more field visits, which is just fine because I'm so wiped out and just can't do it any more. Okay, I probably could but it just doesn't seem worth it for the physical pain and exhaustion (it's not like it's going to get my promotion going any faster, as it's stuck in the evil HR Vortex of Worthlessness... i mean, Global Job Evaluation. Whatever.). Every time I stand up, my under-belly aches, I have the start of a contraction, and I have to pee. So I prefer just to stay sitting. I had a good solid contraction at about 2 AM a few nights ago, and I got up to go to the bathroom because it was very reminiscent of the night that I went into labor with Audrey, but, no go. My doctor didn't even check me the next day because I was so clearly not in labor, and it doesn't really matter what I'm dilated to at this point if I'm not having productive contractions. It's all right - 12 more days (4 work days) until my due date. By that point, I'll be really anxious, but until then, well, I'm not really ready anyway. There's no hospital bag packed yet, for me or for baby. I finally ordered the cloth diapers today, but they won't be here for 3 weeks at the very soonest, so no hurry on that (we'd use disposable for a while at first, anyway). I think we're getting closer on a name, but who knows if it will fit once we see her. And if it doesn't, we have no backup plan!
I received my first recommendation for a potential nanny candidate this week, which was exciting. I don't know that she'll work out, schedulewise, but it's nice to see just how qualified and enthusiastic a candidate can be. I think we're on the right track, anyway. It's funny that it seems to be weird to hire a nanny, yet we've done the daycare thing for years now so it's not like we don't know what we want out of someone who's watching our kids during the day. Maybe it's a territory thing - when my kids are in someone else's home, I feel like I may have hired this person but she's running a business so the deference goes both ways. With a nanny, I've hired her to be in my home and do things the way I tell her. I'm not sure how to handle that much authority. :)
Last night was interesting. I went out to dinner with coworkers (one of whom was in town from Germany), and I got home just in time to help Travis with bathtime for the girls. Which is fortunate, because it was only our 2nd pooped-in bath in 4.5 years! The first was when Emily was an infant, so it's been a good stretch for us. Audrey was really embarassed, because she had already made one trip from the tub once successfully, but apparently didn't feel round two coming. So when I walked in the bathroom, the girls were standing naked and dripping in the bathroom while Travis scooped from the tub to the toilet - excellent timing! I suggested to the girls that they have a shower instead of a bath, and Emily was hesitant but Audrey was all excited. They LOVED it, Emily more so than Audrey, even. They thought it was hilarious, rinsing their hair in the "rain" and standing up to wash instead of sitting. They were so cute I wanted to take a picture, but I realized that would have been weird and not really captured the excitement from them anyway, which was really the cutest part. Trav really gave me the fun job, doing something special with the girls while he cleaned up a poopy bathtub. Lucky me!
Last weekend, we hosted a small gathering for a few of our Ragbrai friends, the regulars that we see often in Des Moines. Five years ago, when we visited Kerri out in Washington D.C. for the weekend, we went to a Mexi-tucky party since it was Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby in one day, and it was hilarious and fun. This weekend coincided again, so we decided to add another twist and have our own bike race, the same length as the Derby, 1.25 miles, hence: Mexibikentucky. We did two races - one for kids, on bikes and in trailers - and one real race for grownups. We also did a ladies' leisure ride, which was pretty fun, especially when we cut the route much shorter than the official route (it really was official! Emily and I made signs the day before and Travis posted them around the neighborhood.). Everyone had a great time with the biking and really got into the goofy premise of things, showing up in wild Derby-inspired hats and drinking tequila. Travis talked me into playing a bugle call before the race, which people loved but someone documented in a picture and I am mortified at how absolutely awful the picture is. I'm wearing a floppy, flowery hat and my ever-ill-fitting maternity clothes, playing a trumpet. It was ridiculous. But the whole affair was ridiculous, so I guess it's to be expected! Then we grilled some food, had a fire, drank mint juleps (bleh, apparently), and had a wonderful relaxed time with everyone.
Wednesday night, my coworker and friend Jonna hosted a baby shower for me, and it was the coolest thing. I've recently started tagging along with her Girls' Night Out group, since I knew more than half of these women anyway. They're pretty fun, and they take this obligation seriously - they WILL get out of the house without kids once per month. Jonna put together a party where people all did meal prep for 3 different meals plus cookies, and it was really fun and went off without a hitch. She was so well-organized and everything was so well-planned. I was so impressed, and went home feeling so loved and indebted. And well-fed! I have 5 meals ready for me in the freezer!
I really know a ton of great people, and got to see a lot of them in the past week. Id say that it's worth not being sequestered with a baby in order to participate in all of that, and good to be reminded of it just before I go "underground" for a few months. But I'm having a contraction right now and it sure would be nice if it were productive instead of just annoying. :)
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