So, tomorrow is my due date. I had a doctor's appointment and declined to have my membranes stripped this time, since it did no good last week. I haven't had any notable contractions this week, nothing that wasn't brought on by my unreasonable desires to stand up or walk more than a few steps. I'm so disappointed and annoyed. I was even disappointed to wake up this morning, still pregnant, since that was the night that I went into labor with Audrey. It was so nice to not make it to 40 weeks with her, and have her come in under 9 pounds. They (as in, everybody) say the third baby always comes so quickly, it'll come sooner, even if she's bigger it'll be easier because you've done it before, be ready be ready be ready... and here I am reliving the nightmare that I had with Emily. Couldn't convince the doctor that an induction would actually work for me, or that the size of the baby is at all concerning. He said, "Well, she's certainly not a 6-lb baby, but you've got a pretty good pelvis. I'm not concerned." *sigh* Because every woman WANTS to push out enormous children. It's hard to recover, it's a harder delivery, it's absolutely horrendous to carry around. Yep, he's not concerned. Great.
So, do I go to work tomorrow? Well, why not, right? I've already paid for the girls to go to daycare, and if I were to stay at home I'd either work myself to exhaustion since there's so much around here that I haven't been able to take care of, or lay around feeling guilty about not doing it and annoyed that I'm not having a baby. I can be a mom to 2 busy girls OR be enormously pregnant, but I can't seem to pull both off at the same time anymore.
I find it mystifying that I was too pregnant to clean bathrooms at 7 months pregnant but either it's fine for me to do it now, or it's fine to not clean them again until I'm no longer pregnant - GROSS. And how having the dishwasher loaded means that the kitchen is clean. And a specific request to put the carseat into the van so that Emily can still buckle her own seatbelt translates into spending the afternoon replacing the expandable foam down the center of the driveway (!?!?!). Didn't realize that was critical to the function of our house! But, overall Travis has been a good sport in transporting laundry up and down flights of stairs, and tolerating how pathetic our meals have been, and doing a really big share of chasing down screams of terror when the girls have trouble getting along (they're really remarkably easy to resolve - great kids!). I've had a really hard time getting to sleep lately, so I've been letting him fall asleep first and then coming to bed later so my tossing and turning doesn't keep him up.
I think the baby has dropped, finally, so it is much easier to eat and breathe, though much harder to walk. I am figuring this baby has Emily's headshape, instead of Audrey's. My theory is that Audrey's head lodged in my pelvis caused my water to break, and her head to have a visible dent around it after she was born, whereas Emily's long, narrow head didn't get wedged the same way. And I will be pregnant until I cry hard enough in my doctor's appointment that they take me seriously that this baby won't come out without help. Isn't that why I was supposed to have prenatal care?? "Oh, babies come when they're ready!" Then I won't bother with getting groped weekly!! Why bother, if you're not going to do anything to actually help me?!? Or believe me when I tell you what's going on with my body?
I just would really like to go into labor. Until then, I want to go underground and not have to talk to anyone so I don't have to hear about how they only made it to 38 weeks, or made it to 42 without complaining at all (right.).
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