RAGBRAI '10

What a wild week it's been.

Travis left with Team Petting Zoo on Saturday, on the bus headed to Sioux City.  Emily, Audrey, and I left later that afternoon, and went to an evening picnic at a friend's house in Gilbert, then went on to Rockford at bedtime, where we were greeted by my 3 nieces and my mom.  The girls were so happy to see each other that it took at least an hour to get them settled down into bed.  It probably wasn't the best way to start off a 4-day "vacation" at Grandma's house, being so short on sleep, but it's not like they wouldn't've been exhausted by the end anyway.  Every night was late, there were very few naps, and the pace of activity was really, really intense. Those girls are a lot to keep up with!  Emily loved it, though, and so did Audrey.

I swear, the girls did EVERYTHING you could think little girls would do at Grandma's house.  They biked, swam, painted, colored, played piano, sang, danced, and fed cows.  They had tea parties with real food, and with the imaginary food they made in the play kitchen on the porch.  They went to the county fair to see all kinds of animals, including an elephant! They played at a park and had a picnic lunch, and they went to the fossil beds to collect fossils.  They had frozen treats on the deck every day, and read lots and lots and lots of books with Grandma.  They even saw a butterfly come out of its chrysallis and then released it into the flower garden.  Then, of course, RAGBRAI came by the house, and there were thousands of bikers riding by, with people stopping into the yard to have free water and bananas provided by the Soil Conservation Service.  They played with every kind of building set imaginable: lincoln logs, tinker toys, Zome (i hadn't seen before but is very, very cool!), legos big and small.  These combined with the dolls, stuffed animals, and baby toys to form a thin, even layer all over the living room.  It felt like some kind of free energy was willing everything to be equidistant from each other and independent from its container, and that this even dispersement was how things were going to be no matter how many times they were picked up (or asked to be picked up).  It was incredible.  I am utterly exhausted, because throughout all this, I was preparing meals, cleaning up after meals, picking up toys to keep them away from the baby, nursing the baby, keeping things quiet so a baby can nap, spoonfeeding a baby, looking for things (stuffed animals, specific toys or colors of cups or whatever, things for my mom), hauling the inflatables to the air compressor to get them blown up (daily), getting girls dressed and bathed, wiping bottoms, and resolving conflicts left and right. Don't get me wrong, these are all very polite, well-behaved, and truly caring little girls, but they are all very sensitive, and they were short on sleep and therefore quite grouchy at times, not to mention accident-prone.  There was a lot of emotion-management that needed to be done, and it's really very draining to take care of all that.  I am wiped out.

The bikers are still out on RAGBRAI, which I will admit is making me feel pretty down tonight.  I came home yesterday afternoon, and actually went to work today because I discovered last week that I will need to be saving my vacation for the next few weeks.  Today was the 3rd to last day that the girls will go to Ms. Amanda's daycare, because she is closing her business in order to go back to teaching.  I am devastated, and I'm sure Emily will be too once she realizes just what this all means.  I have a couple of good leads on new daycare, but I doubt I will be as thoroughly content with things as I was.  Audrey will be fine, but I'm worried about the transition for Emily.  Like I said, she's a sensitive little girl!

So, I picked up the girls after work today, and they both screamed at me for the duration of the evening.  Emily pooped her pants, which was totally out of character because she's been absolutely great for the past two months, since the last time she was sick, actually.  So I gave her a Tums, in case her tummy was stressed, and put her to bed in a pull-up.  They had a bath, and were both asleep by 8:15.  I'm still decompressing after venting to Travis on the phone for a good 45 minutes, explaining why I'm not looking forward to another full day tomorrow of taking care of kids.  It's not that I mind taking care of kids, because obviously we had a good time (and were not bored!)  It's that everybody else is partying still.  I worked SO hard in order to be able to bike 44 miles of RAGBRAI on Wednesday, and even though I really did enjoy myself, was it worth it?  Was it worth getting up at 5:30 (after cleaning a kitchen until 10:30 the night before), driving to clear lake, waiting around for almost 2 hours while everybody else piddled around getting ready, getting sunburned, and dealing with some serious engorgement because I was away from Audrey for a feeding?  I suppose it was, but it seemed like a high price to pay for something others are just whimsically enjoying.  I know Jenny was battling similar emotions, too, even though she did get 3 full carefree days away (which makes sense, her kids are old enough to be fine with that).   It's nice to have company when feeling this way, but still, it just leaves you feeling... owed.

So, I took a TON of pictures.  They are ADORABLE!!  We had a great time, and I decided to document the fun times and hopefully get books printed so Grandma, Lennon Girls, and Sullivan Girls can all remember what a great time we had together (and hopefully overshadow any of those negatives I mentioned.)  My home in Rockford is absolutely the most wonderful home a girl could ever want.  In all my self-analysis of my parenting, I guess I really just hope that I provide a home for my girls that they feel that way about!