Eating my cake

I have been rolling a thought around in my head the past few days, and it's especially strange in that I can't really decide how I feel about it just yet, other than confused and a bit frustrated as a result. Normally, when confronted with a situation, I know immediately and strongly how I feel and it takes me a long time for that emotion to temper out, whether good or bad. But this one I'm having trouble even figuring out where I stand.

So, I've posted many times recently about my Ragbrai conflict, and my internal struggle to show that I'm strong enough and up to the challenge. I've been hoping that the weather will be good so I can get a fair crack to use all my preparation, although that and other wildcards could force me to throw the towel in no matter what. That in itself is pretty frustrating. Heck, I did half of it last year with 33 stitches and recovering from emergency surgery - a little extra weight shouldn't slow me down that much, right?? Ooof is it ever more than that. Anyway, I'm wanting the chance to show myself that I can achieve the goals I set, and that I know my body well enough to set reasonable goals as I get more and more pregnant.

But then there's this other side, too, where I want to be taken care of, and for people to realize it's exhausting being 6 months pregnant and to make considerations for me. I have been working really hard this week, mostly some cleaning and PM's in the lab with the knowledge that after this point I won't feel up to it at all. So, lots of on-my-feet, head-in-a-machine, real laborious work. It's surprisingly exhausting, and it takes me longer to recover day-to-day than I could've imagined. So when Travis asked if I wanted to go see fireworks on Tuesday night, I thought it sounded fun, although I could've done with a closer parking space than a mile away. And the next day, sitting and talking with friends in the shade sounds like a great way to spend the 4th, except it was really hot and camping chairs are NOT comfortable when you're pregnant. And I was exhausted, and I just wanted to say - can we put my comfort first here and let me go home and rest in the A/C??

So, at what point do I get over myself and ask for help? My dad's advice was to be sure to let Travis know what I need before I get frustrated with him for not guessing, which is of course good and fair advice, except that I don't even know what I need!! Do I need to be treated like everyone else because I don't want my pregnancy to define what I do, or do I need to be looked out for and have redefined expectations? This goes back, I guess, to the debate among independent women everywhere - at what point do I ask for help? I thought I had been pretty good at that in the past but this pregnancy is quite the curveball to me. My dad also told me that once I meet the little person who's been throwing this curveball at me, it'll all make sense. I sure hope so.