Okay, I thought I was tired before. I seem to be reaching new levels, which is freaky because I can only assume it'll just get more and more so for the next, what, 5 years?
Ragbrai was a lot of fun. Okay, it still is a lot of fun for most of Team Petting Zoo who is still out there in eastern Iowa, with two days and just over 100 miles left to bike and a thunderstorm to sleep through tonight. But the ~120 miles that I did over the first three days of the trip were plenty for me. I was pleased with myself that I could tell when it was time to quit and actually have the discipline to do it. I tried to rest as much as I could in the hot afternoons, but my mom and I were watching my nieces while my sister biked, and they sure kept me busy! I don't know how my sister does it every day. Even though I had all the sitting down jobs, it's exhausting even trying to keep up with their very creative and unexpected trains of thought. It was all very fun though, and all in all it was a great vacation. Now that the biking is done, it's time for me to relax while I can, and "just" be pregnant.
Tonight, I'm recuperating - being lazy, eating cookies, etc. I went to work today, and at my slow-and-steady pace I put in a full day. I kept feeling like I wasn't accomplishing that much, but I've gotta be honest and say that just staying conscious for the whole day feels like an accomplishment in itself!! And besides, I've been told by a friend that it's nice that I'm pregnant because it's slowed me down to everyone else's pace. I think she was talking about biking, but I assume it applies to other things too? I hope so. Cuz otherwise I'm just lazy. :)
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, and I would love to rub it in his face that I actually did bike on Ragbrai and the biking was no problem at all (it felt great, actually, even though it apparently looked like I was trying to smuggle something under my bike jersey). But I won't - fortunately the temptation won't even be there becuase I'm seeing the other doctor in the practice. Maybe this guy will actually listen to me instead of jumping to conclusions.
Saturday, I go to Ames to pick up Travis after the bus returns from Bellevue, and then Sunday my mom is going to help me put together something that looks like a baby registry. I've gotta say that I feel a little better about entering parenthood after spending time with my nieces. It helps that they're fun, well-behaved girls to begin with, but it makes it seem less intimidating to know that I'm okay being in a (semi)parental role. And I figure it can't be that hard to change a diaper or give a bath, and that I'll pick that up as I go along. I'm in no hurry to be up to my elbows in poop just yet.
Once Travis gets home with the camera, I'll post a few fun pictures and maybe include a fun story or two from the trip.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Ready, Set, BIKE!
Travis and I spent tonight packing for Ragbrai, and I believe we are ready! I did 12 miles on Wednesday night, and it seemed fine, and the 15 I did on Sunday felt even better because I went in the morning. Without an entire day's worth of food in my stomach, it was a lot more comfortable on my bike. :) I've got plans worked out to get picked up at halfway points, and plenty of other options in case anything else should go wrong, so I'm feeling very good about it all. Optimism abounds! Now, if I can just keep my energy up. This is going to be an awesome, fun vacation, but I'm going to be exhausted by the time I get home Wednesday night.
My back started aching tonight. I think it's that I was carrying laundry and other things up and down stairs, and I've woken up many times this week on my back. I almost think sleeping on the ground might be good for me since I'll probably be more likely to stay on my side. I feel pretty fortunate to have gotten through 7 months of pregnancy and just now have a minor twinge in my lower back, and I like to credit biking for helping me build/maintain muscles in my back to help ward it off. (I love my bike!)
I have already started preparing for my maternity leave at work. I'm trying to convince my boss that I'm indispensable enough that he'll need to replace me with dedicated manpower through either an intern or contract employee, and he says he's on board but he doesn't act fully convinced. He keeps suggesting these crappy alternatives to "just get by" until I get back, I want to shout at him that he's a moron and if I weren't important, I wouldn't bother getting up to go to work each day. (Okay, I just want to tell him he's a moron, regardless.) I sometimes get very spiteful and think that I won't return to work just to call his bluff and let him see how poorly things go without someone in my position, but it wouldn't be him who suffers or looks bad - it's my coworkers, who are genuinely nice and (although quirky) enjoyable. And of course it's possibly the worst thing to base such a big decision on! But beyond what my boss has control over, I'm approaching pretty much every project at work in the mindset of not being there in 10 weeks. Kind of exciting!
Also exciting - Travis and I bought a carseat this last weekend, which somehow makes us now qualified to take our baby home from the hospital. How crazy is that?!?! A few hundred bucks on some random purchase and we're capable parents?? It feels good to have something major like that checked off the list, and we really like what we got - the whole stroller "travel system". We have also started on our registry at Target, but hardly have anything on it yet. I suppose I really should get on that. Travis said it would be nice if our nursery had a theme instead of being an unmatched assortment of essentials and decorations - typical Johannsen-style of useful and cute individual things, but not purchased for a "together" look. I told him I've never been able to do that and if anything ever looks like it belongs in a room that might be a nursery he should be happy. I doubt that he'll care what the nursery is decorated like once his little kid is at home there. It's fun - we are really getting excited about meeting this lil' peanut (as my childhood violin teacher would say).
... I used to be such a promising lil' peanut! Now I'm just a disposable engineer, who used to play violin and thinks she can be a hot preggo biker chick. Who knew I really had such low, yet diverse aspirations?? :)
My back started aching tonight. I think it's that I was carrying laundry and other things up and down stairs, and I've woken up many times this week on my back. I almost think sleeping on the ground might be good for me since I'll probably be more likely to stay on my side. I feel pretty fortunate to have gotten through 7 months of pregnancy and just now have a minor twinge in my lower back, and I like to credit biking for helping me build/maintain muscles in my back to help ward it off. (I love my bike!)
I have already started preparing for my maternity leave at work. I'm trying to convince my boss that I'm indispensable enough that he'll need to replace me with dedicated manpower through either an intern or contract employee, and he says he's on board but he doesn't act fully convinced. He keeps suggesting these crappy alternatives to "just get by" until I get back, I want to shout at him that he's a moron and if I weren't important, I wouldn't bother getting up to go to work each day. (Okay, I just want to tell him he's a moron, regardless.) I sometimes get very spiteful and think that I won't return to work just to call his bluff and let him see how poorly things go without someone in my position, but it wouldn't be him who suffers or looks bad - it's my coworkers, who are genuinely nice and (although quirky) enjoyable. And of course it's possibly the worst thing to base such a big decision on! But beyond what my boss has control over, I'm approaching pretty much every project at work in the mindset of not being there in 10 weeks. Kind of exciting!
Also exciting - Travis and I bought a carseat this last weekend, which somehow makes us now qualified to take our baby home from the hospital. How crazy is that?!?! A few hundred bucks on some random purchase and we're capable parents?? It feels good to have something major like that checked off the list, and we really like what we got - the whole stroller "travel system". We have also started on our registry at Target, but hardly have anything on it yet. I suppose I really should get on that. Travis said it would be nice if our nursery had a theme instead of being an unmatched assortment of essentials and decorations - typical Johannsen-style of useful and cute individual things, but not purchased for a "together" look. I told him I've never been able to do that and if anything ever looks like it belongs in a room that might be a nursery he should be happy. I doubt that he'll care what the nursery is decorated like once his little kid is at home there. It's fun - we are really getting excited about meeting this lil' peanut (as my childhood violin teacher would say).
... I used to be such a promising lil' peanut! Now I'm just a disposable engineer, who used to play violin and thinks she can be a hot preggo biker chick. Who knew I really had such low, yet diverse aspirations?? :)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tired
I'm really, really tired. I'm not sleepy so much as my body is just exhausted. I biked another 10 miles after work today (3rd time this week) and I had thought that doing a shorter amount more frequently would be less exhausting, since it isn't that much more frequently. But I've had my bike in my car for the past few days, and the tires were definitely low tonight, which made me even more sluggish. I just keep telling myself, if I don't have to work a full day, running around the plant and on my feet all day, I'll have more energy for biking on Ragbrai. And, I'll get to chill out all afternoon and sit around and nap if I want to. True vacation - I can't wait!
But for tonight - I'm tired!! and I want my husband back. Not only do I miss him, but it'd be nice to have him around to run to the grocery store if we're out of milk, or to help me set up my computer in the basement, or carry out the paper recycling. I guess it could be worse - some women have this exhaustion all the way through pregnancy, and I had only a bit the first trimester and some reprieve until now. But I'm so wiped out now it's hard to put it all in perspective. And it doesn't help that I've had troubles getting comfortable enough to fall asleep at night, and I've had some bad dreams lately too. I actually woke myself up after dreaming about food because I was hungry!! I eat ALL day, and it's actually getting hard to keep myself not hungry and not low on blood sugar. I can't believe the day has arrived when it's hard to think about eating MORE food. Wow. And when I'm this tired, it gets harder and harder for me to imagine I'll have the energy to go back to work in any fashion after the kid gets here. I can't keep track of myself and this house - how am I supposed to keep track of a kid, too??
So, I felt like whining tonight -thanks for listening. I'm sure these days will pass quickly enough, but for now I'm just feeling crappy.
On a more fun note, I have started to be able to figure out which baby's body parts are poking me. I'm certain that the other day its bottom was sticking out just under my ribcage, because it was very very hard and I think I could feel its back all the way down my stomach, then. Normally I'm more squishy, and this was definitely feeling the baby. And if I poke, it kicks back! all the time, lots and lots of kicking and readjusting and fidgeting. I guess I shouldn't've expected anything less, considering neither of this kid's parents can sit still either.
I am so in for it. *sigh*
But for tonight - I'm tired!! and I want my husband back. Not only do I miss him, but it'd be nice to have him around to run to the grocery store if we're out of milk, or to help me set up my computer in the basement, or carry out the paper recycling. I guess it could be worse - some women have this exhaustion all the way through pregnancy, and I had only a bit the first trimester and some reprieve until now. But I'm so wiped out now it's hard to put it all in perspective. And it doesn't help that I've had troubles getting comfortable enough to fall asleep at night, and I've had some bad dreams lately too. I actually woke myself up after dreaming about food because I was hungry!! I eat ALL day, and it's actually getting hard to keep myself not hungry and not low on blood sugar. I can't believe the day has arrived when it's hard to think about eating MORE food. Wow. And when I'm this tired, it gets harder and harder for me to imagine I'll have the energy to go back to work in any fashion after the kid gets here. I can't keep track of myself and this house - how am I supposed to keep track of a kid, too??
So, I felt like whining tonight -thanks for listening. I'm sure these days will pass quickly enough, but for now I'm just feeling crappy.
On a more fun note, I have started to be able to figure out which baby's body parts are poking me. I'm certain that the other day its bottom was sticking out just under my ribcage, because it was very very hard and I think I could feel its back all the way down my stomach, then. Normally I'm more squishy, and this was definitely feeling the baby. And if I poke, it kicks back! all the time, lots and lots of kicking and readjusting and fidgeting. I guess I shouldn't've expected anything less, considering neither of this kid's parents can sit still either.
I am so in for it. *sigh*
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Eating my cake
I have been rolling a thought around in my head the past few days, and it's especially strange in that I can't really decide how I feel about it just yet, other than confused and a bit frustrated as a result. Normally, when confronted with a situation, I know immediately and strongly how I feel and it takes me a long time for that emotion to temper out, whether good or bad. But this one I'm having trouble even figuring out where I stand.
So, I've posted many times recently about my Ragbrai conflict, and my internal struggle to show that I'm strong enough and up to the challenge. I've been hoping that the weather will be good so I can get a fair crack to use all my preparation, although that and other wildcards could force me to throw the towel in no matter what. That in itself is pretty frustrating. Heck, I did half of it last year with 33 stitches and recovering from emergency surgery - a little extra weight shouldn't slow me down that much, right?? Ooof is it ever more than that. Anyway, I'm wanting the chance to show myself that I can achieve the goals I set, and that I know my body well enough to set reasonable goals as I get more and more pregnant.
But then there's this other side, too, where I want to be taken care of, and for people to realize it's exhausting being 6 months pregnant and to make considerations for me. I have been working really hard this week, mostly some cleaning and PM's in the lab with the knowledge that after this point I won't feel up to it at all. So, lots of on-my-feet, head-in-a-machine, real laborious work. It's surprisingly exhausting, and it takes me longer to recover day-to-day than I could've imagined. So when Travis asked if I wanted to go see fireworks on Tuesday night, I thought it sounded fun, although I could've done with a closer parking space than a mile away. And the next day, sitting and talking with friends in the shade sounds like a great way to spend the 4th, except it was really hot and camping chairs are NOT comfortable when you're pregnant. And I was exhausted, and I just wanted to say - can we put my comfort first here and let me go home and rest in the A/C??
So, at what point do I get over myself and ask for help? My dad's advice was to be sure to let Travis know what I need before I get frustrated with him for not guessing, which is of course good and fair advice, except that I don't even know what I need!! Do I need to be treated like everyone else because I don't want my pregnancy to define what I do, or do I need to be looked out for and have redefined expectations? This goes back, I guess, to the debate among independent women everywhere - at what point do I ask for help? I thought I had been pretty good at that in the past but this pregnancy is quite the curveball to me. My dad also told me that once I meet the little person who's been throwing this curveball at me, it'll all make sense. I sure hope so.
So, I've posted many times recently about my Ragbrai conflict, and my internal struggle to show that I'm strong enough and up to the challenge. I've been hoping that the weather will be good so I can get a fair crack to use all my preparation, although that and other wildcards could force me to throw the towel in no matter what. That in itself is pretty frustrating. Heck, I did half of it last year with 33 stitches and recovering from emergency surgery - a little extra weight shouldn't slow me down that much, right?? Ooof is it ever more than that. Anyway, I'm wanting the chance to show myself that I can achieve the goals I set, and that I know my body well enough to set reasonable goals as I get more and more pregnant.
But then there's this other side, too, where I want to be taken care of, and for people to realize it's exhausting being 6 months pregnant and to make considerations for me. I have been working really hard this week, mostly some cleaning and PM's in the lab with the knowledge that after this point I won't feel up to it at all. So, lots of on-my-feet, head-in-a-machine, real laborious work. It's surprisingly exhausting, and it takes me longer to recover day-to-day than I could've imagined. So when Travis asked if I wanted to go see fireworks on Tuesday night, I thought it sounded fun, although I could've done with a closer parking space than a mile away. And the next day, sitting and talking with friends in the shade sounds like a great way to spend the 4th, except it was really hot and camping chairs are NOT comfortable when you're pregnant. And I was exhausted, and I just wanted to say - can we put my comfort first here and let me go home and rest in the A/C??
So, at what point do I get over myself and ask for help? My dad's advice was to be sure to let Travis know what I need before I get frustrated with him for not guessing, which is of course good and fair advice, except that I don't even know what I need!! Do I need to be treated like everyone else because I don't want my pregnancy to define what I do, or do I need to be looked out for and have redefined expectations? This goes back, I guess, to the debate among independent women everywhere - at what point do I ask for help? I thought I had been pretty good at that in the past but this pregnancy is quite the curveball to me. My dad also told me that once I meet the little person who's been throwing this curveball at me, it'll all make sense. I sure hope so.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
I've lost count of how many weeks this is...
Okay, 27, I think. End of 2nd trimester, anyway.
Happy Independence Day, all. The neighborhood sounds like it's under assault tonight with all the popping and whistling of rockets. My heart is filled with glorious American pride at the sound of things blowing up. Such a patriot I am.
My doctor was less than pleased when I told him about my plans for Ragbrai this week. He scolded me and tried to scare me with scenarios that could endanger me and my kid. I expected him to say he would recommend that I not do it, but when he told me that if I were his wife he wouldn't "let" me do it, I realized this guy has no understanding of the kind of doctoring I'm looking for. I was hoping for information on how to stay hydrated and properly nourished, maybe an on-call number in case anything would go wrong (which any woman at 30 weeks pregnant should have, honestly), or instructions on how to handle and delay pre-term labor should it be triggered by something. He had just finished saying that everything about me is a normal, average pregnancy, so I figured if anybody would be a person capable of doing this, it'd be me. But I got scolded like a child instead. What a jerk.
I reached 160 lbs this week. It's getting harder to sleep with my growing belly, which is frustrating because I am more and more tired. I slept until 9:30 today, which was wonderful and very much needed. And I'm headed for bed now, which I believe will be equally fabulous. Goodnight!!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
ahhhh summer!
Summer in Iowa can be SO beautiful!! This weekend was about the nicest weather anyone could order up: around 80°, partly cloudy, light breeze, and low humidity. Perfect for a biking and camping trip! I had no trouble completing the 50 miles to the campsite yesterday - I kept up with everybody just fine and I didn't get sunburned. I even felt like if I needed to bike in order to get home today, I could've, even after sleeping on the ground. But I didn't bike, I drove, because I'm taking it easy, remember. :) I'm flying high right now after a relaxing, fun weekend, and I have my hubby back so that makes it even better. If only it weren't almost time for my Sunday-night blahs, life would be pretty perfect right now. I used to get very anxious on Sunday nights, sometimes to the point it would ruin a weekend, butI guess I'm past caring now, and I just get a little blah instead. If work is terrible tomorrow, it's not that I'm not trying hard enough throughout the week, and that's all I can do anyway.
Travis listened to the baby's heartbeat this afternoon, just by putting his ear to my belly. It was so cool!!! I'm getting pretty annoyed with the daily emails from WhatToExpect.com as they run out of subject matter (and include 90% of their information and hilarous sidenotes in parenthesis) (see, it's annoying, isn't it??), but I'm glad they suggested that he listen. I was afraid he'd just hear gas bubbles and my heartbeat, but he said it was loud and clear, twice as fast as mine. What an awesome moment, watching him listen to our kid's heart. I had been feeling bad that whenever he tries to feel movement, it's as if Baby knows it's him and holds very still. I don't think he really knows what the massive position-changing getting-comfy movement really entails, because he always misses out on that. But he got in on the heartbeat, which I can't do, so that was really great.
I'll try to post another picture of me tomorrow, because right now the camera is full of pictures from Trav's trip to Luxembourg. The first thing he said to me when he hugged me after he got back yesterday was, "You've gotten bigger." Good - cuz I feel bigger!! All this food must be going towards something.
Oof!! :)
Travis listened to the baby's heartbeat this afternoon, just by putting his ear to my belly. It was so cool!!! I'm getting pretty annoyed with the daily emails from WhatToExpect.com as they run out of subject matter (and include 90% of their information and hilarous sidenotes in parenthesis) (see, it's annoying, isn't it??), but I'm glad they suggested that he listen. I was afraid he'd just hear gas bubbles and my heartbeat, but he said it was loud and clear, twice as fast as mine. What an awesome moment, watching him listen to our kid's heart. I had been feeling bad that whenever he tries to feel movement, it's as if Baby knows it's him and holds very still. I don't think he really knows what the massive position-changing getting-comfy movement really entails, because he always misses out on that. But he got in on the heartbeat, which I can't do, so that was really great.
I'll try to post another picture of me tomorrow, because right now the camera is full of pictures from Trav's trip to Luxembourg. The first thing he said to me when he hugged me after he got back yesterday was, "You've gotten bigger." Good - cuz I feel bigger!! All this food must be going towards something.
Oof!! :)
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