http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/ In case you need more evidence that real life is a bitch. The crazy thing is, everybody happens to be living it, everywhere you look. I think this is the post-30 maturity coming out in me, but I'm looking back on my judgemental, narcisisstic 20-year-old self and am a little disgusted. Yes, believe it or not, I've actually mellowed a bit, and yet am still an opinionated jerk!
This has been a really eye-opening year for me. In my family, 2011 has had close encounters with domestic violence, jail visits, and a family member who died suddenly. If I expand my circle to friends and co-workers, the list grows, including a 2nd-trimester miscarriage, a newborn with severe hearing loss AND cystic fibrosis, and an infant hospitalized with skull fractures after an accident. I learned about a friend who gave up a child for adoption years ago, and continued to witness a friend's life with a child with severe disabilities... and on and on. I am SO fortunate to only have experienced these things by association, and just been in a support role. As I look at my beautiful, amazing family and all the blessings of my charmed life, I wonder when it will be my turn, rather than just experiencing vicariously, and whether I will have the strength and maturity of those I've witnessed battling so far. I am so impressed that all of these people close to me have weathered these things with such poise, and continue to seek the joy that life offers. None of these friends or family has chosen to let their situation define them, or taken the "easy route" now that they have an excuse to be unhappy. I've expressed support and sympathy, but really I admire the strength of each of these individuals and have learned so much. I've enjoyed reading The Bloggess this year, and I sure hope she doesn't think that she requires having personal demons to fight with humor in order to write side-splitting blog entries. I wonder if joy happens TO spite difficulties, not IN spite of them.
So, I guess, all I can do with 2011 is learn from it. I went into this holiday season bracing myself, thinking that at least next year will be better - we'll have a new baby, a finalized divorce for my sister, and hopefully my brother-in-law will be released. We'll be excited about upcoming weddings for Trav's brothers. But, I am honestly very thankful for the holiday I did have, because it was absolutely wonderful, even if not ideal. I truly felt the love of family at every gathering, and spent relaxing time with people I love and admire. I laughed a ridiculous amount, and found great joy both in giving and receiving gifts. I got to be Santa, and experience the delight of Christmas morning for young children. Today, I woke to the sound of giggling sisters snuggling in bed with me, and relaxed and did close to nothing for most of the day - what a luxury! I hope it's a sign of the good things to come in 2012, and if not, I hope I have the strength and wisdom to live life as strongly as those around me.
Oh, and also worth noting - Baby count for 2011 (close friends and family) is a whopping 22!! Welcome to the world, kiddos. We're gonna have a great time!
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