Audrey is finally, finally creeping forward. Several times tonight, I saw each knee scootch forward before she collapsed and lunched for what she wanted. She's such a long baby that she really has everything she wants within her reach. It's a very long reach! I think we'll be having a lot of fun with her by this weekend. Can't wait! I sure get tired of her howling helplessly on the floor. Now she can come right up to me and howl in my ear! :)
We had a really nice weekend at home. I cooked like crazy, and processed all the tomatoes my parents brought me from their garden, making homemade salsa, and homemade ratatouille. Then I made chorizo and egg burritos for supper with fried potatoes - soooo good. On Sunday I roasted a bunch of chicken breasts and used some in chicken tortilla soup, and made apple pies in my new ramekins. Today I didn't much feel like making anything for supper, so it was nice to have a fridge full of leftovers.
I actually went to work today, to attend a training class. I think it has been a good class, but I had to reschedule my week and tomorrow I get to spend another 9 hours in the same room. I don't know how working moms can drop their kids off every day. It'll kill me to say goodbye to them again so soon! I need a day in between to get good and tired of them, whereas Friday I'll be ready to give them away, I'm sure! At least everybody is feeling healthy again. Audrey's getting pretty good at taking her medicine finally, now that she's dribbled pink syrup all over a week's wardrobe.
My coworker told me today that she is expecting twins in March! Wow! She says that twins run in her family, so she wasn't totally surprised, but she's pretty overwhelmed. She and her husband had been debating on whether to have a family of 2 or 3 kids, but since they already have one, this makes that decision for them! She said she really just didn't want to be pregnant 3 times, so it's a win-win. I just hope we've got another person added to our group before she starts her leave!!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Much better
I didn't get much sleep last night, because I was up late talking to Travis about the things in my previous post. Apparently, airing all that out made me feel a lot better because today was a much better day, even though I spent the majority of the day with a crying Audrey on my lap. Her ear infection got worse last night instead of better, so I stayed home with her today. Emily went to daycare for the morning, so I had a nice morning snuggling my baby, which I hadn't realized was so much rarer than when Emily was that small!! I picked her up after lunch, and Audrey slept most of the afternoon, Emily and I snuggled and dozed together, and we spent the rest of the day happy.
Emily made a "bed" for me tonight - blankets and a pillow on the couch. I was rocking Audrey at the time, though, so Emily tucked her dad in. She was soooo sweet. She got him a blanket "case you get cold," turned on the fan "case you get hot," then gave him a big smooch on his forehead. Then she went over and picked out two books, and brought them over to the edge of the couch and read to him. And I got to sit back and just watch, because Audrey was asleep in my lap by then. It was a wonderful moment.
See? I had my wig-out moment, and now I'm back in the game. I love, love, love my family.
Emily made a "bed" for me tonight - blankets and a pillow on the couch. I was rocking Audrey at the time, though, so Emily tucked her dad in. She was soooo sweet. She got him a blanket "case you get cold," turned on the fan "case you get hot," then gave him a big smooch on his forehead. Then she went over and picked out two books, and brought them over to the edge of the couch and read to him. And I got to sit back and just watch, because Audrey was asleep in my lap by then. It was a wonderful moment.
See? I had my wig-out moment, and now I'm back in the game. I love, love, love my family.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Rough week
I've had a tough week. I think everyone else has been a normal up and down, but I seem to have taken all the downs and really sunk with them. Audrey had a sniffley nose last week, which turned into a really nasty cold for me, and then just today her ears filled up and she spent the day with a fever. She was so agreeable that I figured I'd wait and see if she could sleep through it and feel better, but after her nap she was really tugging at her ears so I took her to the doctor. Only her second ear infection of her life, but I sure wish I'd taken her in first thing in the morning, because going during after-work traffic was super sucky. There's an otoscope on its way from Amazon right now - enough of this guessing!
Neither girl has slept well this week, which means I haven't either. Emily has been waking about 5 AM complaining that it's dark, but I think she actually is waking because she's cold, and then is confused by the darkness. Try to get her to wear pants for pj's, though, and what a battle you'll get. Travis tried to take her back to bed on Saturday morning, but she wanted to be in bed with us (which is weird because we never do that) so she howled at the top of her lungs for a few minutes, which meant Audrey woke up and wanted to eat. So, that was a long day. No nap that day due to the excitement of the football game (every other kid at the party napped, but even though I took Emily home to be in her bed, she wouldn't nap. I guess she's done napping - fine, let's just get the new schedule figured out). I am starting to feel angry-tired, like I was a few months ago, because I am constantly sneezing and coughing, and my head aches and my back aches from carrying a cranky baby... poor me! Even Travis woke me up last night because I was breathing loudly (can't let me get any deep sleep) and he wanted to make sure that I was on my side away from him, and I was, but the way he touched me felt like Emily reaching for me, so I woke up to see if everything was okay. It was. It was just a team effort that the entire family is in on, to keep me sleep-deprived.
Emily really doesn't enjoy her days at the new daycare. She still talks lovingly about Ms. Amanda's as though she's sure she'll go back there at some point - this other place is just getting in the way of that. She says she's bored there, which I believe. She's bored at home and we do lots! We tried to go to the Spanish language school today, but apparently the person who was in charge of that decided not to do it this year, and didn't take down the posted 2010-2011 class schedule from the website. In searching for an alternative, I found a childcare center in Waukee that includes yoga and Spanish in with its regular preschool program for older kids, and starts signing with infants as soon as they're ready. I called - they don't take part timers. Gah! Do I keep my kids home and bored with me, or send them away to be enriched by other "random" people? I don't think I can win here - I don't get to be the recipient of their shining, best selves either way.
The most frustrating thing is the verbal instruction. I know Emily can do what I ask her to do - she just chooses to make it difficult for me. I can ask her to do something (go wash your hands, stop chewing on that, let go of your sister, etc.) and she'll continue to do whatever she's doing until I get up, go over and start to force the issue, and then she jumps to do whatever I said just before I get to her. She heard me, she understood and she knew, but she just wanted to make me MAKE her do it. Why?? Can't she just believe me that I need her to do what I asked her? Can't she just trust me that I'm trying to keep her safe and healthy?? especially when my hands are full of screaming baby, or I'm trying to sit down to eat something or (god forbid) I snuck away to the bathroom for a second. You would think she would jump when I should "STOP" at her suddenly, just out of instinct from being shouted at suddenly, but no, she just keeps at it until I actually grab her hands away. I know she's just "testing" and just seeing where boundaries are, but can't she just believe me when I tell her? Or when I remind her of what happened the last time she tested that same boundary? Must everything go in her mouth? I swear, she cries more than Audrey does and chews on more things that Audrey does. But, only for me. For everyone else, she is mature and talkative and charming and all that. I am told she does this just for me because she feels safe around me. I don't know why - all of this, combined with my overtired state, makes me into such a lunatic that you'd think she'd be scared of me.
Audrey's still not crawling. I am really not concerned by this at all - she's doing great things and she's obviously a happy, intelligent, wonderful baby, and Emily was kind of the same way with mobility and she's clearly just fine developmentally. I'm fully aware that my daily life is much easier without having to chase a crawler around. But I CAN NOT WAIT for her to walk, just so I can quit having to explain or make excuses for her lack of mobility to everyone, from close friends to acquaintances to complete strangers. Nobody (or almost nobody) asks me how her fine motor skills are progressing, or if it seems like she's understanding language around her yet, or how she interacts with her toys or her sister, you know, all the ways she's really amazing and I could brag about. Nope - it's "Is she walking yet?" and then "Did you know her hair is kind of red?" Really? No kidding! I can't believe I didn't notice that, considering I'm her mother and I stare at her for hours each day!
Wow, I really hate people, I guess. I do love my girls, though. I really should be using this blog to do the opposite kind of filtering that this post is - all the great stuff without the relatively small amount of crappy stuff. But, like I said, I'm incredibly tired, and I can't seem to fall asleep before 10:00 and I've been wakened repeatedly every night this past week, and I'm sick. this morning I was still in bed at 7:00 and it felt like I'd slept til noon. If I could get some rest, I could be a not-crazy mom. If I could eat a few bites of dinner without having to get up to get ketchup, napkins, the OTHER spoon, more applesauce because I refuse to eat the healthy food that you cooked from scratch, more milk -- no I wanted juice! waaaah! i want juice!!! waaaaaah! meltdown. 20 minutes of screaming. Augh! Leave me alone for just a second. Quit needing me for just a moment and I will be your healthy role model. Don't insist on being carried, don't test every command from me, don't demand my attention constantly, don't suck me dry every instant of every day and I can provide more for you, I promise. I don't know how else to reserve anything for me except to go to work, to send the kids to a less-then-great daycare so I can go to a job that I could take or leave... if leaving didn't mean I'd be trampled by the overwhelming task of mothering 24/7.
How can they be so big and so little at the same time?
Neither girl has slept well this week, which means I haven't either. Emily has been waking about 5 AM complaining that it's dark, but I think she actually is waking because she's cold, and then is confused by the darkness. Try to get her to wear pants for pj's, though, and what a battle you'll get. Travis tried to take her back to bed on Saturday morning, but she wanted to be in bed with us (which is weird because we never do that) so she howled at the top of her lungs for a few minutes, which meant Audrey woke up and wanted to eat. So, that was a long day. No nap that day due to the excitement of the football game (every other kid at the party napped, but even though I took Emily home to be in her bed, she wouldn't nap. I guess she's done napping - fine, let's just get the new schedule figured out). I am starting to feel angry-tired, like I was a few months ago, because I am constantly sneezing and coughing, and my head aches and my back aches from carrying a cranky baby... poor me! Even Travis woke me up last night because I was breathing loudly (can't let me get any deep sleep) and he wanted to make sure that I was on my side away from him, and I was, but the way he touched me felt like Emily reaching for me, so I woke up to see if everything was okay. It was. It was just a team effort that the entire family is in on, to keep me sleep-deprived.
Emily really doesn't enjoy her days at the new daycare. She still talks lovingly about Ms. Amanda's as though she's sure she'll go back there at some point - this other place is just getting in the way of that. She says she's bored there, which I believe. She's bored at home and we do lots! We tried to go to the Spanish language school today, but apparently the person who was in charge of that decided not to do it this year, and didn't take down the posted 2010-2011 class schedule from the website. In searching for an alternative, I found a childcare center in Waukee that includes yoga and Spanish in with its regular preschool program for older kids, and starts signing with infants as soon as they're ready. I called - they don't take part timers. Gah! Do I keep my kids home and bored with me, or send them away to be enriched by other "random" people? I don't think I can win here - I don't get to be the recipient of their shining, best selves either way.
The most frustrating thing is the verbal instruction. I know Emily can do what I ask her to do - she just chooses to make it difficult for me. I can ask her to do something (go wash your hands, stop chewing on that, let go of your sister, etc.) and she'll continue to do whatever she's doing until I get up, go over and start to force the issue, and then she jumps to do whatever I said just before I get to her. She heard me, she understood and she knew, but she just wanted to make me MAKE her do it. Why?? Can't she just believe me that I need her to do what I asked her? Can't she just trust me that I'm trying to keep her safe and healthy?? especially when my hands are full of screaming baby, or I'm trying to sit down to eat something or (god forbid) I snuck away to the bathroom for a second. You would think she would jump when I should "STOP" at her suddenly, just out of instinct from being shouted at suddenly, but no, she just keeps at it until I actually grab her hands away. I know she's just "testing" and just seeing where boundaries are, but can't she just believe me when I tell her? Or when I remind her of what happened the last time she tested that same boundary? Must everything go in her mouth? I swear, she cries more than Audrey does and chews on more things that Audrey does. But, only for me. For everyone else, she is mature and talkative and charming and all that. I am told she does this just for me because she feels safe around me. I don't know why - all of this, combined with my overtired state, makes me into such a lunatic that you'd think she'd be scared of me.
Audrey's still not crawling. I am really not concerned by this at all - she's doing great things and she's obviously a happy, intelligent, wonderful baby, and Emily was kind of the same way with mobility and she's clearly just fine developmentally. I'm fully aware that my daily life is much easier without having to chase a crawler around. But I CAN NOT WAIT for her to walk, just so I can quit having to explain or make excuses for her lack of mobility to everyone, from close friends to acquaintances to complete strangers. Nobody (or almost nobody) asks me how her fine motor skills are progressing, or if it seems like she's understanding language around her yet, or how she interacts with her toys or her sister, you know, all the ways she's really amazing and I could brag about. Nope - it's "Is she walking yet?" and then "Did you know her hair is kind of red?" Really? No kidding! I can't believe I didn't notice that, considering I'm her mother and I stare at her for hours each day!
Wow, I really hate people, I guess. I do love my girls, though. I really should be using this blog to do the opposite kind of filtering that this post is - all the great stuff without the relatively small amount of crappy stuff. But, like I said, I'm incredibly tired, and I can't seem to fall asleep before 10:00 and I've been wakened repeatedly every night this past week, and I'm sick. this morning I was still in bed at 7:00 and it felt like I'd slept til noon. If I could get some rest, I could be a not-crazy mom. If I could eat a few bites of dinner without having to get up to get ketchup, napkins, the OTHER spoon, more applesauce because I refuse to eat the healthy food that you cooked from scratch, more milk -- no I wanted juice! waaaah! i want juice!!! waaaaaah! meltdown. 20 minutes of screaming. Augh! Leave me alone for just a second. Quit needing me for just a moment and I will be your healthy role model. Don't insist on being carried, don't test every command from me, don't demand my attention constantly, don't suck me dry every instant of every day and I can provide more for you, I promise. I don't know how else to reserve anything for me except to go to work, to send the kids to a less-then-great daycare so I can go to a job that I could take or leave... if leaving didn't mean I'd be trampled by the overwhelming task of mothering 24/7.
How can they be so big and so little at the same time?
Monday, September 6, 2010
Incommunicado, with trumpets
It's been a weird weekend. Saturday, I discovered that my phone had been chewed on one too many times, and the moisture in the headset port makes it think the headset is plugged in. I can't be heard or hear the other end, so it's pretty much only good for texting, which I never do anyway. Then, on Sunday, I went to log into my email, to discover that someone had hacked in and sent out some stupid email to all my contacts. I was able to get that figured out, but I'm still working on the phone. I really didn't want to have to buy a new one, but I suppose I'll have to. It's also incentive to finally get a land line. It's really not safe to not have one, considering how easy it would be to have my cell phone end up in the potty or something, and I don't want to be alone with the girls without any phone. So, good times there.
We had a busy week, and we spent Saturday catching up. The girls hadn't slept well all week, and we finally were all rested and happy on Sunday. We had thought about going up to Barnum for the weekend, and maybe doing some biking, go over to Holstein to see my Grandma, visit Patrick, and just relax a bit. But I couldn't get my butt in gear to get things packed or planned or anything on Saturday. I was just absolutely wiped out. Sunday I felt better, but by then it really only made sense for Travis to go visit Pat with his parents, so he drove up and back in the same day while the girls and I just played at home. Today we were much more productive, just getting things done around the house. It's nice to feel a little bit caught up.
Audrey is so very close to crawling. Tonight, I was moving her legs as she was moving her hands forward, and she thought it was hilarious. She's pretty mobile even without it, especially since she can back into a sitting position from her tummy. That helps a TON - she's so much happier being able to do that. We're down to nursing 3 times a day now, so I was pretty happy to say goodbye to nursing bras. She's picked up a bit of a cold, probably from daycare last week, and trying to get a kleenex up to her nose is a real battle, but it's only been a day so I still think it's cute. She's so very expressive, and so beautiful.
Travis took Emily to the ISU football season opener Thursday night, just the two of them. They were both so excited, it was really cute. They both had a great time, and made plans to go to the game where the Little Clone Club members get to go out on the field before the game. And of course, there was the marching band, which Emily LOVED. She was so smitten with it that she wanted to get out my trumpet last night. I handed her a mouthpiece and showed her how to buzz, and she totally got it, right away! She was too shy at first to try it with the trumpet, but when she did, she loved it! Travis got a video, which I'll try to post sometime. We played it again this afternoon, and it sounded only slightly less like a vuvuzela than her first try.
I don't think Emily has been napping at Janet's, so I'm going to ask Janet to check on her after 20 minutes and let her stay awake if she's not sleeping. I feel so bad for my little girl, staying awake in someone else's house for an hour and a half, all by herself!! She's so little, and all alone... :( I guess this daycare is okay overall, but I'm feeling more like it's a temporary thing until I'm ready to leave this job. I don't know exactly what I'm waiting for... it's hard to describe, but the current situation is seeming less and less appealing, and my girls are seeming more and more so. I'll know the final straw when I see it, right?
Oh, and I'm still trying to figure out the the Spanish language classes. I haven't gotten any more info, which is frustrating, but I really hope it works out. It seems like she's going to need another dimension to stretch her incredible mind, especially if she's going to be one of the oldest in her class once she starts school. She's already started counting around the house: uno, tres, quatro, cinco, space. :)
We had a busy week, and we spent Saturday catching up. The girls hadn't slept well all week, and we finally were all rested and happy on Sunday. We had thought about going up to Barnum for the weekend, and maybe doing some biking, go over to Holstein to see my Grandma, visit Patrick, and just relax a bit. But I couldn't get my butt in gear to get things packed or planned or anything on Saturday. I was just absolutely wiped out. Sunday I felt better, but by then it really only made sense for Travis to go visit Pat with his parents, so he drove up and back in the same day while the girls and I just played at home. Today we were much more productive, just getting things done around the house. It's nice to feel a little bit caught up.
Audrey is so very close to crawling. Tonight, I was moving her legs as she was moving her hands forward, and she thought it was hilarious. She's pretty mobile even without it, especially since she can back into a sitting position from her tummy. That helps a TON - she's so much happier being able to do that. We're down to nursing 3 times a day now, so I was pretty happy to say goodbye to nursing bras. She's picked up a bit of a cold, probably from daycare last week, and trying to get a kleenex up to her nose is a real battle, but it's only been a day so I still think it's cute. She's so very expressive, and so beautiful.
Travis took Emily to the ISU football season opener Thursday night, just the two of them. They were both so excited, it was really cute. They both had a great time, and made plans to go to the game where the Little Clone Club members get to go out on the field before the game. And of course, there was the marching band, which Emily LOVED. She was so smitten with it that she wanted to get out my trumpet last night. I handed her a mouthpiece and showed her how to buzz, and she totally got it, right away! She was too shy at first to try it with the trumpet, but when she did, she loved it! Travis got a video, which I'll try to post sometime. We played it again this afternoon, and it sounded only slightly less like a vuvuzela than her first try.
I don't think Emily has been napping at Janet's, so I'm going to ask Janet to check on her after 20 minutes and let her stay awake if she's not sleeping. I feel so bad for my little girl, staying awake in someone else's house for an hour and a half, all by herself!! She's so little, and all alone... :( I guess this daycare is okay overall, but I'm feeling more like it's a temporary thing until I'm ready to leave this job. I don't know exactly what I'm waiting for... it's hard to describe, but the current situation is seeming less and less appealing, and my girls are seeming more and more so. I'll know the final straw when I see it, right?
Oh, and I'm still trying to figure out the the Spanish language classes. I haven't gotten any more info, which is frustrating, but I really hope it works out. It seems like she's going to need another dimension to stretch her incredible mind, especially if she's going to be one of the oldest in her class once she starts school. She's already started counting around the house: uno, tres, quatro, cinco, space. :)
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