Goodbye, Crazy Lady

Audrey slept from 9:30 until 6:10 on Friday night, and I have had the most amazing weekend since then.  I'm really not sure what to do with myself, but at least I feel like myself again!  I don't default to worrying and being depressed about things when I get regular sleep.  She's been up at around 5 the last two mornings, which is totally fine with me!  I can't believe how different I feel now, with several good nights under my belt.  It's really amazing - I am no longer crazy!! 

I was nursing Audrey to sleep tonight, and I noticed that I was holding her hand the way I used to do with Emily, and I had totally forgotten that I had done that.  It was such a familiar feeling, sleeping baby in one arm, little fingers clutching mine, just totally content.  I hope there are lots of other things that I'll notice and remember to remark upon when going through this baby thing the second time.

Audrey is such a beauty.  She definitely has Travis's eyes, and when she's tired, her eyelids get all pink and droopy just exactly like his do.  Even her eyecolor is a different blue than mine and Emily's, darker with no hint of green.  She makes such fantastic cooing noises and emphatic wiggles!  So fun!  She's pretty steady with her head now when she's vertical - a lot more so than even a week ago.  She likes for me to carry her around so she can look over my shoulder, and I love having that little bundle snuggled up under my chin.

Emily is still struggling with one particular aspect of potty training, so I've been doing a lot of stain-sticking and toilet-rinsing lately.  She also is too busy to take time for potty breaks, and protests incredibly if Travis or I suggest that she go.  I have no idea when she'll work through that, but I'm deciding that she's potty trained so I have packed away all the size 4 diapers!!  Only undies and pull-ups from now on - and hopefully not much longer on those, since she's generally dry after naps and overnights now.  I'm so incredibly proud of her, it's hard to even put down in words!!  She is also being much more specific in her language now, and although it sometimes takes some creativity, she can get across some pretty complex thoughts.  But her sense of humor is definitely a 2-year-old's:  just saying "Beep Boop" to her is hilarious, and she came home from Amanda's one day proclaiming that she wanted to eat bunny poop??  I doubt she's actually thinking about rabbit waste, and it's just something she thinks is incredibly silly.  But I love that giggle, so I just enjoy the laughter.

We had a nice calm weekend as a family here, with Travis at home today because of the MLK holiday.  I was actually bored for a little while!  for about 5 minutes, actually, until Audrey woke up. But that was a weird thing, to wonder what to do with myself.  I've been adding to my list of things I want to buy, everything from a double stroller to a syrup pitcher, so I am hoping that if I have it written down, I will not waste those spare moments and do online purchasing / research on those items.  I went for a walk the other day before supper and even though it was less than a mile, I was sore the next day. I went again today while the girls were napping and we'll see how tomorrow feels. It's bizarre to be 20 lbs overweight. I jogged a few blocks of my route today and I felt like the "before" people on the Biggest Loser, all lumbering and jiggly. It's an awful feeling, but I'm certainly motivated now!  I can't wait for it to get warm enough for me to take Audrey outside, so we can do walks to the park, and maybe it'll be light enough outside for me to get out without the girls after Travis gets home from work... 

It's crazy how hard it is to feel good, isn't it??  I've gotta get enough sleep, get a little regular exercise, and continually keep my bloodsugar up.  I've got to consciously let minor irritations go, and appreciate the moment.  But it's worth all the work and mental sommersaults, because it will make my girls' childhoods happier and less stressful.  And that's totally worth it!!