End of the Innocence

I have a fantastic life, and I know it. My daughter is amazing, my husband and I continue to be more and more in love with each other, our house is lovely and despite the financial hullabaloo lately we seem to be getting along just fine. Our jobs are fine, our family is healthy and happy and we have lots of wonderful friends. But lately it seems like bad news has been trickling in thsi past week, and I feel I should be more appreciative of what I have, somehow.

There have been several people in the past week who have unexpectedly died, and while none of them were particularly close to us, they were close enough for us to feel real sadness for their loved ones. And last night, there was more sad news (which I won't disclose) that left us again feeling sorrowful but helpless. It's an awkward feeling, to live in our happy sunshiney bubble, oblivious to all sad things, and then to see the worst in the world come scarily close. It's been weird. Possibly the weirdest thing is that while I have true sympathy for those who are more directly affected by all these events, it is really quite easy for me to go about my normal day. Emily laughs and smiles and it brings so much joy to me that I can easily forget my previous empathy. It makes me feel like a fraud, almost, even though I really think I am being genuinely empathetic. I'm just not very good at putting myself in someone else's shoes, especially when they are very sad shoes and I've got happier things to think about. I think I feel guilty about that, but I'm not sure if it's healthy to spend time feeling guilty about not being sad enough on someone else's behalf!

So, it's been odd. I know that sad things are a part of life, too, and I guess this is why we give thanks when times are good.