I am writing this from my sister's house. All 6 Johannsen grandkids are asleep here (or in bed, at least) and all the other grownups are at the wedding. I guess I'm on duty, of sorts, but it's actually just that I'm glad to be done with the day. I probably shouldn't hash over the details again because I'll just get agitated again. It was full of exasperation, exhaustion, some regret, gratefulness, but mostly just feeling overwhelmed with responsibility on top of a headcold and a short night of sleep. Since Travis was sick this week, it seemed like he and I had almost no communication about the weekend, and it's just impossible for it to go completely smoothly without that. There's always the mismatch of expectations that's inevitable, even if most of the time we can correctly assume what the other is thinking. When we miss, it's sucky. I guess I'll just let it go and try to get more out of him next time. Ugh.
Audrey had a frustrating accident today - she sat on the potty to poop, and everything was going great, and when she stood up, it became apparent that she hadn't quite gotten her dress up over her bottom. Poor girl! The regret that I mention above was that I didn't figure that out immediately and get excited that she had actually done everything just right - i thought it was an accident. It wasn't, it was just... misfortune?? The gratefulness that I mention was to Travis's family, for helping me with the girls after the ceremony and through the reception, and to Jenny for providing me with everything I needed after I discovered that all the things the girls needed for overnight had been left at home, carefully packed but left on the porch. It was a rough weekend, but it would've been impossible without them!
As glad as I am that Audrey is potty trained and doing great for the most part, now we are to that weird phase where she will only use HER potty. I've gotta take it everywhere with me, including to the hotel where the wedding reception was tonight - awkward! I guess I'll go back to the OhCrap forum and ask how to get out of that. I'm hoping she'll get so confident that she'll think it's fun to try peeing other places, but so far she's a hard sell on HER potty if it's located in a new place. It's not as exhausting as the initial step, but still a lot of logistics to manage.
I've started planning Emily's 4th birthday, with a Frances theme, for obvious reasons! I cannot believe she's going to be FOUR. That's such a big number!! I rememer drowning in the terrible two's and Jenny would tell me that the hard work of parenting is up until they're 4, establishing the boundaries, and for a while after that, you just nudge them back into place as needed. It was so hard to believe her that those days would ever come, but for the most part, I'd say she's right. Emily is a lovely girl, especially compared to a few (nonfamily) children I was around this weekend - yikes. She'd be lovely even if she wasn't so well-behaved, but she really, really is. There's just a few things that exasperate me, like her intention to finish what she's doing no matter how hard I try to verbally direct her otherwise. Screaming STOP or NO or MOVE or DROPIT or anything like that has no effect whatsoever if she's intent on what she's doing. She'll finish, and then look up at me like, "okay, now what was it you needed??" I needed you to move so I don't drop a pot of hot water over your head on my way to drain these noodles because I'm trying to make supper so you'll stop whining at me!! GAH! I can physically stop her, and when I do, it's apparent that she did hear me because she freaks out about it. I guess if I'm left with one major challenge for age 4, I can be glad, because those other kids - yikes. It wasn't their fault, though; when they were around me, they responded instantly to some of my parenting techniques, and it's obvious that their parents could do the same and save themselves a lot of heartache. Life's too short to be mad at your kids all the time!
It's also too short to have such a rotten personal day on what should've been (and hopefully was) a fantastic day for two very wonderful people, and their family and friends who love them very much.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Doing great!
Audrey is over the hump - she's really got it now! We're still looking for a totally accident-free day, but her accidents are really just "awww, so close!" kind of things. She either gets distracted/busy, or she has trouble with her pants, or she tells me she has to go and I'm too slow hurrying upstairs because I wasn't able to carry her potty down to the basement with us. I just didn't have room in my arms with her and the basket of laundry I was carrying!! But she's really understanding the whole process, and for the most part she does a GREAT job. Poor girl still has trouble predicting whether her backside is going to produce gas or slime, and she got caught by that last night. But we were at a friend's house, and I was still super proud of her because she did her first pee away from our house!! Well, besides daycare. That tells you just how much I've gotten out of the house in the past two weeks. This morning she got 95% of a slimy poop in the potty, with the remainder getting on the outside of her training pants and the floor as she stood up afterwards in celebration. Now, how can you fault a girl for that??
Travis leaves tomorrow for an overnight in Madison. I'm not at all mentally prepared for it, since I have spent so much mental energy potty training and helping Emily through her latest sickness. Poor girl was too sick to be at daycare Thursday, and I just marvel that she can manage to find 1 of the 2 days of the week where I am not able to easily drop everything for her. Travis stayed with her in the morning, and I took the afternoon off. Today, I think Audrey has started in with the fever that Emily had early this week, and I hope she doesn't develop the croupy cough that made it so hard for Emily to breathe. She spent all day Friday in whisper mode, since her voice was totally gone. It was kind of funny because Audrey would notice Emily whispering and then tell me "shhhhh..." with her adorable finger up against her pouty little lips. Soooo sweet! It was a very quiet day, which was nice after all the volume we had while potty training.
Audrey was snuggled on my lap this morning, and as she sat up to go off and play, I said, "I love you." I could swear she answered "I love you too," nodding so emphatically like she does. I'll take that for a first sentence. :) But I won't hear it again for ages because she only talks on her terms. She's got a pretty good vocabulary, but you wouldn't know because she gets by on charm!
I didn't take a video of it, but Emily has added the left-hand to her piano trick, and she can play both hands together. Awesome!!
Travis leaves tomorrow for an overnight in Madison. I'm not at all mentally prepared for it, since I have spent so much mental energy potty training and helping Emily through her latest sickness. Poor girl was too sick to be at daycare Thursday, and I just marvel that she can manage to find 1 of the 2 days of the week where I am not able to easily drop everything for her. Travis stayed with her in the morning, and I took the afternoon off. Today, I think Audrey has started in with the fever that Emily had early this week, and I hope she doesn't develop the croupy cough that made it so hard for Emily to breathe. She spent all day Friday in whisper mode, since her voice was totally gone. It was kind of funny because Audrey would notice Emily whispering and then tell me "shhhhh..." with her adorable finger up against her pouty little lips. Soooo sweet! It was a very quiet day, which was nice after all the volume we had while potty training.
Audrey was snuggled on my lap this morning, and as she sat up to go off and play, I said, "I love you." I could swear she answered "I love you too," nodding so emphatically like she does. I'll take that for a first sentence. :) But I won't hear it again for ages because she only talks on her terms. She's got a pretty good vocabulary, but you wouldn't know because she gets by on charm!
I didn't take a video of it, but Emily has added the left-hand to her piano trick, and she can play both hands together. Awesome!!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Here we go...
Last Saturday morning, Audrey refused to put a diaper on, and I decided to potty train her. I probably shouldn't have done such a snap decision, but I had been considering it for a while and really thought I could flip the switch on her. Over the last 10 days, she's come a LONG ways, and today she only had one accident, which we managed to actually get to the potty in time to catch about 1/3 of it. I'm pretty proud of her! I've had a lot of help, though, since I have been communicating with a potty training expert who wrote a book that's sold through her website http://ohcrappottytraining.com. This lady is amazing - no nonsense, and really informative. It's not just rah-rah, it's really instructive. And encouraging! Audrey seems to be having a hard time with the advance notice part of it; she HAS asked me to go before, but for now she is totally reliant on me to remind her. We're doing pretty well now, though, that I've got a mental schedule down for her, and I have a good idea of when her bladder might be full. Today, while sitting on my lap, she looked up at me with her "I'm gonna go" face (which is adorable, I might add) and grabbed at her backside, so we hustled to the potty and just as she settled in with a book, she pooped!! She's doing great, but it is a LOT OF WORK and it's EXHAUSTING. We've come too far to go back now! I'm NOT SPENDING A YEAR AT THIS like we did with Emily! the diaper service is turning out to be a totally awesome thing, because they will provide training pants instead of diapers until she's totally trained!! YEAH! No more washing poopie undies!!!
I am still trying to figure out her slimy poops, though. I bought some soy milk to substitute for a while, and we'll see if eliminating dairy helps. The real kicker to this is why her slime cleared up when she was at my parents' place for 4 days a couple of weeks ago, and now that she's home, it's back in full force. ?? Emily and I both had some tummy troubles, so I thought maybe it's a bug that lives... in the bathtub? sanitized. Refrigerator? scrubbed clean. Our water supply? it's the only thing I haven't totally checked out. If she doesn't do better off of dairy for a couple of days, I'll try limiting her water to only that purchased in a bottle, and see if then it improves. Because the poor thing just doesn't stand a chance in this condition!
Emily has been doing all kinds or crazy academic gymnastics these days. She loves to rhyme, and she's really got the hang of it. Tonight she was making up words to go with objects around, and then it was all nonsense - but all rhyming! We've been reading Frances books, at least one every day and sometimes I have to cut her off at four! They're long and detailed, and she's started to memorize them. She's got the first 4 pages of "Bedtime for Frances" memorized, including where she sings her little alphabet song, and Emily points at each letter on the page and identifies it. So then after she's on a roll with that, she points to "Father" and "Frances" and we have to talk about how they start with the same letter, and how they sound alike. At the end, the moth goes "BUMP and THUMP" so she matches up the U, M, and P and we talk about how they not only sound alike, they look alike! After talking about the sound that TH makes, she's been working on incorporating that into her speech, so I'm afraid I'll lose her celebratory "I'm FREE" before she actually is done being three! and Fank you, and I Fink, and dis and dat. It's all slipping away.
Travis took Emily to football games both weekends, just the two of them, while Audrey and I practiced potty (have I mentioned this has been an incredible commitment??). Trav was looking for things for Emily to do in the car, and I told him about the rhyming game and how that kills time well, and instead he started counting with her. hold up two fingers on each hand and count - how many do you have? In "Birthday for Frances," she likes to count the bubblegum balls, talking about how four pennies bought four bubble gum balls; Frances eats two, so how many does she have? It's so cute to see those little fingers counting!! Also adorable is seeing them PLAY THE PIANO!! She puts her little thumb on middle C and playes up through G with her pinky - amazing!! Video at the picasa site. The cutest part about that is that she didn't learn that from me or from Grandma, who's actually a piano teacher, but rather from Megan, who just started her own lessons recently, and has the hang of reading a few notes on the page and totally gets how to count beats per measure. Incredible little girls!
So Emily and Travis had fantastic trips to Ames for the football games, and had a great time. It doesn't hurt that Iowa State won both games, especially the one yesterday! yeahhhh!! Emily came home from the night game a week ago, and as she was snuggled up in bed falling asleep, she was telling me all about what she did and what she saw, and I knew that one of the most highly-anticipated things was getting to eat a hot dog for supper. I asked her what she had for supper, and she sat up and said, "I didn't have supper!!" what?? I asked if she was hungry and she said yes!! She was very worried, so I came downstairs and asked Travis about it and he said, Yeah, of course she had a hot dog. I gave Emily some milk, and when she burped afterwards, I could even smell the hot dog breath!! She had not sat down at a table to eat a meal, so it didn't register to her that she had actually eaten something at dinnertime. Funny girl!
I have really gotten to know Audrey as we've spent hours sitting in the bathroom together. A fun game for me is to sing a pitch and she'll sing it back. I'll put socks on her feet and yank on the toes to get them off, and she giggles like crazy. She really likes books, we talk about all kinds of things that we read in there. She's really gotten much faster, though, now that she knows how to do it and I am not guessing as much as to whether she has to go or not. And she is starting to trust me a little, too.
Since I've had so much potty training on my brain lately, it was easy to see, in talking with my sister, that her husband is behaving just exactly like a 37-year-old in diapers. Suddely she (and the court system) won't let him have his way, and he doesn't like it! He knows what he should do, and he's physically capable of appropriate behavior, but he remembers that life was really, really good when somebody else was doing all the work for him. He just wants for things to go back to being easy for him, when he could get his way all the time. In case anybody else out there is helping a loved-one escape an abuser, he's really just a big baby. It's really helping us stay a step ahead of his actions to realize he's just reacting, he's not even capable of plotting, he's just reacting to his selfish desires. Once it's apparent he's just trying to get his way, it's totally possible to outmaneuver him. What a jerk.
Lots of love to all of you. Hope you're enjoying this beautiful weather!
I am still trying to figure out her slimy poops, though. I bought some soy milk to substitute for a while, and we'll see if eliminating dairy helps. The real kicker to this is why her slime cleared up when she was at my parents' place for 4 days a couple of weeks ago, and now that she's home, it's back in full force. ?? Emily and I both had some tummy troubles, so I thought maybe it's a bug that lives... in the bathtub? sanitized. Refrigerator? scrubbed clean. Our water supply? it's the only thing I haven't totally checked out. If she doesn't do better off of dairy for a couple of days, I'll try limiting her water to only that purchased in a bottle, and see if then it improves. Because the poor thing just doesn't stand a chance in this condition!
Emily has been doing all kinds or crazy academic gymnastics these days. She loves to rhyme, and she's really got the hang of it. Tonight she was making up words to go with objects around, and then it was all nonsense - but all rhyming! We've been reading Frances books, at least one every day and sometimes I have to cut her off at four! They're long and detailed, and she's started to memorize them. She's got the first 4 pages of "Bedtime for Frances" memorized, including where she sings her little alphabet song, and Emily points at each letter on the page and identifies it. So then after she's on a roll with that, she points to "Father" and "Frances" and we have to talk about how they start with the same letter, and how they sound alike. At the end, the moth goes "BUMP and THUMP" so she matches up the U, M, and P and we talk about how they not only sound alike, they look alike! After talking about the sound that TH makes, she's been working on incorporating that into her speech, so I'm afraid I'll lose her celebratory "I'm FREE" before she actually is done being three! and Fank you, and I Fink, and dis and dat. It's all slipping away.
Travis took Emily to football games both weekends, just the two of them, while Audrey and I practiced potty (have I mentioned this has been an incredible commitment??). Trav was looking for things for Emily to do in the car, and I told him about the rhyming game and how that kills time well, and instead he started counting with her. hold up two fingers on each hand and count - how many do you have? In "Birthday for Frances," she likes to count the bubblegum balls, talking about how four pennies bought four bubble gum balls; Frances eats two, so how many does she have? It's so cute to see those little fingers counting!! Also adorable is seeing them PLAY THE PIANO!! She puts her little thumb on middle C and playes up through G with her pinky - amazing!! Video at the picasa site. The cutest part about that is that she didn't learn that from me or from Grandma, who's actually a piano teacher, but rather from Megan, who just started her own lessons recently, and has the hang of reading a few notes on the page and totally gets how to count beats per measure. Incredible little girls!
So Emily and Travis had fantastic trips to Ames for the football games, and had a great time. It doesn't hurt that Iowa State won both games, especially the one yesterday! yeahhhh!! Emily came home from the night game a week ago, and as she was snuggled up in bed falling asleep, she was telling me all about what she did and what she saw, and I knew that one of the most highly-anticipated things was getting to eat a hot dog for supper. I asked her what she had for supper, and she sat up and said, "I didn't have supper!!" what?? I asked if she was hungry and she said yes!! She was very worried, so I came downstairs and asked Travis about it and he said, Yeah, of course she had a hot dog. I gave Emily some milk, and when she burped afterwards, I could even smell the hot dog breath!! She had not sat down at a table to eat a meal, so it didn't register to her that she had actually eaten something at dinnertime. Funny girl!
I have really gotten to know Audrey as we've spent hours sitting in the bathroom together. A fun game for me is to sing a pitch and she'll sing it back. I'll put socks on her feet and yank on the toes to get them off, and she giggles like crazy. She really likes books, we talk about all kinds of things that we read in there. She's really gotten much faster, though, now that she knows how to do it and I am not guessing as much as to whether she has to go or not. And she is starting to trust me a little, too.
Since I've had so much potty training on my brain lately, it was easy to see, in talking with my sister, that her husband is behaving just exactly like a 37-year-old in diapers. Suddely she (and the court system) won't let him have his way, and he doesn't like it! He knows what he should do, and he's physically capable of appropriate behavior, but he remembers that life was really, really good when somebody else was doing all the work for him. He just wants for things to go back to being easy for him, when he could get his way all the time. In case anybody else out there is helping a loved-one escape an abuser, he's really just a big baby. It's really helping us stay a step ahead of his actions to realize he's just reacting, he's not even capable of plotting, he's just reacting to his selfish desires. Once it's apparent he's just trying to get his way, it's totally possible to outmaneuver him. What a jerk.
Lots of love to all of you. Hope you're enjoying this beautiful weather!
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