Ragbrai?

Overnight towns are announced, and they look like they might be conducive to me doing a few days.  I'll have to think about it, I guess.

We had a little dinner party tonight, and it was nice to be a little bit social without leaving Emily's and Audrey's comforts of home.  Our friends brought their little 5-month girl, and Audrey sure enjoyed looking at her.  She was a pretty sweet little girl, but I like mine better. She was a real charmer tonight, and although it took her a while to calm down afterwards, it was worth it.  And of course Emily did a super nice job and was sweet and charming as well.  I have such nice girls!  Now I've enjoyed my glass of wine and enjoying relaxing before the craziness of the next week begins.

I spent a few days at my parents house this week, and it was nice to get away for a little while.  Travis was in Madison, so I wasn't going to even try to do this single-mom thing.  Tomorrow, we're going to church up in Ames, and we'll consider having Audrey baptised in the church there (the same one we got married in).  And then, Monday I go back to work.  I cannot believe Audrey is 3 months old already.  She's my baby!!!!  I think she'll be fine at daycare, though, since she seems to really enjoy being around other kids and today she took her bottle with almost no complaint.  She still didn't want to drink much of it, but she's at least got the idea, now.  She settles down pretty well, and although she's not on a schedule, she's pretty agreeable.  I have such nice girls... I try to just enjoy it, but sometimes it just makes me feel guilty for allowing myself to be so infuriated by Emily when she's being so very, very 2.  *deep breath*

It's just hard to think that I have to add one more thing to my daily grind.  work - bleh.  I suppose it will seem less bleh-ish once I get into it, but I've been out long enough that I just do not care at all.  I've got enough to keep track of in my life; can I really handle one more??  I feel like January has really been a restful month for me, and I'm sad that it's over.  Don't get me wrong - I hate January as a whole, with its early dark nights and awful weather, but at least it's dark in the morning so Emily sleeps well, and there really hasn't been much going on.  Without anything special going on, Emily has had a good chance to have several accident-free days, and that's worked well with her two-steps-forward-one-step-back approach to potty training.  I'm sad to see it ending, but someday, someday, someday it will be warm enough for me to get outside and try to not be so fat, and I guess that's worth it.  I went for a 1.5 mile walk the other day, and I was sore the next day.  I really am itching to get moving again so I don't feel like such a blob!

Bedtime for me.  I love sleeping!

Goodbye, Crazy Lady

Audrey slept from 9:30 until 6:10 on Friday night, and I have had the most amazing weekend since then.  I'm really not sure what to do with myself, but at least I feel like myself again!  I don't default to worrying and being depressed about things when I get regular sleep.  She's been up at around 5 the last two mornings, which is totally fine with me!  I can't believe how different I feel now, with several good nights under my belt.  It's really amazing - I am no longer crazy!! 

I was nursing Audrey to sleep tonight, and I noticed that I was holding her hand the way I used to do with Emily, and I had totally forgotten that I had done that.  It was such a familiar feeling, sleeping baby in one arm, little fingers clutching mine, just totally content.  I hope there are lots of other things that I'll notice and remember to remark upon when going through this baby thing the second time.

Audrey is such a beauty.  She definitely has Travis's eyes, and when she's tired, her eyelids get all pink and droopy just exactly like his do.  Even her eyecolor is a different blue than mine and Emily's, darker with no hint of green.  She makes such fantastic cooing noises and emphatic wiggles!  So fun!  She's pretty steady with her head now when she's vertical - a lot more so than even a week ago.  She likes for me to carry her around so she can look over my shoulder, and I love having that little bundle snuggled up under my chin.

Emily is still struggling with one particular aspect of potty training, so I've been doing a lot of stain-sticking and toilet-rinsing lately.  She also is too busy to take time for potty breaks, and protests incredibly if Travis or I suggest that she go.  I have no idea when she'll work through that, but I'm deciding that she's potty trained so I have packed away all the size 4 diapers!!  Only undies and pull-ups from now on - and hopefully not much longer on those, since she's generally dry after naps and overnights now.  I'm so incredibly proud of her, it's hard to even put down in words!!  She is also being much more specific in her language now, and although it sometimes takes some creativity, she can get across some pretty complex thoughts.  But her sense of humor is definitely a 2-year-old's:  just saying "Beep Boop" to her is hilarious, and she came home from Amanda's one day proclaiming that she wanted to eat bunny poop??  I doubt she's actually thinking about rabbit waste, and it's just something she thinks is incredibly silly.  But I love that giggle, so I just enjoy the laughter.

We had a nice calm weekend as a family here, with Travis at home today because of the MLK holiday.  I was actually bored for a little while!  for about 5 minutes, actually, until Audrey woke up. But that was a weird thing, to wonder what to do with myself.  I've been adding to my list of things I want to buy, everything from a double stroller to a syrup pitcher, so I am hoping that if I have it written down, I will not waste those spare moments and do online purchasing / research on those items.  I went for a walk the other day before supper and even though it was less than a mile, I was sore the next day. I went again today while the girls were napping and we'll see how tomorrow feels. It's bizarre to be 20 lbs overweight. I jogged a few blocks of my route today and I felt like the "before" people on the Biggest Loser, all lumbering and jiggly. It's an awful feeling, but I'm certainly motivated now!  I can't wait for it to get warm enough for me to take Audrey outside, so we can do walks to the park, and maybe it'll be light enough outside for me to get out without the girls after Travis gets home from work... 

It's crazy how hard it is to feel good, isn't it??  I've gotta get enough sleep, get a little regular exercise, and continually keep my bloodsugar up.  I've got to consciously let minor irritations go, and appreciate the moment.  But it's worth all the work and mental sommersaults, because it will make my girls' childhoods happier and less stressful.  And that's totally worth it!!

Travis = my hero

Emily came into our room this morning at 6:15, wanting to snuggle with me in bed.  She did it yesterday at 6:37, after Travis's alarm had gone off, so I couldn't convince her it was still nighttime and she should go back to bed.  But this morning, Travis whisked her away and put her back in bed - and she slept until 7:40!!  Yay!!!!  She's rested and happy today, unlike yesterday where she was grouchy.  It was too bad, too, because her cousin came to play with her and she wasn't her normal sparkling self.  But I've got her all to myself today, so I'll take it!  Audrey is also having a wonderful day, so I'm really enjoying it while it lasts.  In a few minutes, we're going to Audrey's 2-month checkup, and both she and Emily will get shots.  The rest of the day doesn't look so good, so I'm sure enjoying my sunshiney girls now!

Yesterday I went to a baby shower for a co-worker, and my sister watched my girls so I could go without them.  It was SO nice!  I wasn't really sure what to do with all my brainpower available, and I think I yakked on a bit too much and should've let other people say more, but I had a great time.  Yakity yakity yak.  It was my first time away from Audrey for any length of time, and I fed her right before I left and right after I got back.  She tried to take a bottle instead of nursing when I got home, but it was a total failure.  Guess I've got something else to worry about now!  I think I've got my work schedule figured out so it's most beneficial for me, Audrey, Emily, Amanda, and my co-workers.  It took some creativity, but I did figure it out.  It's amazing how hard it is to think with BabyBrain. 

Travis and I had the most boring fight yesterday.  He was tired of me complaining about things, and I was too tired to see the bright side of things.  But, a boring fight is the best way to air things out, and Audrey let me get lots of sleep.  Years from now, when people ask us what the key is to a long marriage, I will say, "Boring fights."  No drama in this house -- at least from anybody who's more than 3 years old!

A much brighter day

I kind of figured that I'd feel guilty about my last post, but I just couldn't resolve it all in my head at the time.  It's been a really hard past few months.

Emily had a wonderful day back at daycare today - her first day in big girl underwear!!  She had a couple of accidents to start the day, but apparently she just needed a couple of tries to figure it out, and she was in with the big kids the rest of the day.  I am guessing tomorrow she'll have another rough day, but based on today, I'd say she's starting to figure it out.  She seems to have taken a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of approach.  We're getting there!

I was so proud of her when I dropped her off this morning, too.  She woke up with a smile, got dressed without objection, and even though she told me she wanted to stay home and read books, she got in the car and talked about her friends all the way to daycare.  When I took off her coat there, she hugged me, kissed me on both cheeks, said "I Lauv you," and ran off with a friend.  Amanda told me at pickup time that Emily had been very helpful to her by helping another little boy follow Amanda's verbal directions.  Emily and this little boy are just about exactly the same age, but Emily is apparently much better about following verbal directions, enough to be helpful!  Isn't that sweet?  Then on the way to the car, Emily told me each of the colors of the 2-ft-tall christmas bulbs along the sidewalk, "red, green, yellow, pupple... count them again!!"  Even though it was all of 6 degrees outside, it was easy to stop to enjoy that!  It is so nice to have good days like today to offset the ones where I spend the morning up to my elbows in the toilet, cleaning out undies.

And on a similar subject, I'll just say that Audrey is making it clear that it's time for her to move up a size in diapers.  Her little rear is still fitting fine in size 1's, but the capacity issue is demanding 2's.  She's been eating a lot lately, because she has been fighting a cold lately, I think.  It's probably the same cold I've had, which isn't that bad, and she gets antibodies from me, so all she's had is a very runny right eye.  But I can tell she doesn't feel good and nursing makes her feel better, so I oblige.  Sure seems like I should be seeing some benefit weight-wise, though!!  I'm still at the same weight I was when Audrey and I came home from the hospital, and at some point I'll have to wear something besides the three pairs of jeans that I barely squeeze into now.  I don't like being this size, at all... but I also don't like being hungry in the night, and that's what I'm faced with if I don't eat enough during the day.   Hopefully I'll have get a little more energy before I go back to work in February so I can do a tiny bit of exercise here and there.

Audrey has the most amazing happy expressions - have I mentioned already??  I have tried to capture just a few seconds on video, and it's just not the same as being on the receiving end of her gorgeous smile.  It's SO beautiful, and expressive!!  She has the sweetest little syllables that she utters, too.  I know that all moms love their babies, but those other babies can't possibly be as charming as mine.

I had 5 consecutive hours of sleep last night.  See what a difference it makes??  Today, I feel like myself.  Who is this crazy lady who has hijacked my life lately???