Being a stay at home mom is HARD.
Today has been rough. By 9:00, I had changed two poopy diapers and one pair of poopy undies. We walked to the park this morning with one girl in the stroller and one in the Baby Bjorn carrier, because Emily begged and begged to go. Somehow, I spent the 40 minutes prior to our outing chasing a naked girl who wouldn't get dressed so she could go on the swings!! Then, Emily spent 10 minutes on the swings and said she wanted to go home, which was fine with me because it was an exhausting outing. It was so frustrating making lunch for her because she was so hungry that all she could do was fuss at me. I wanted to read her some books to settle her down for naptime, but every time I did, Audrey would remind me that she wasn't quite asleep yet, and then I'd have to go rock her. I just couldn't get Emily's attention this morning, it seemed, which seems counterintuitive to her wanting more of my attention. Audrey has been eating every 2 hours today instead of 3, so that's out of whack too. It's been SO frustrating today!! Is every day going to be this hard??
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
All about Audrey
We took her to her checkup on Tuesday, which we didn't have to do with Emily because we stayed in the hospital two days with her. Since they released us after 24 hours with Audrey, they wanted to do a checkup to look for jaundice, heart murmurs, and other things that show up in the 2-3 day range. She passed all with flying colors! She measured 8 lbs 15 oz, so she's back up past her birthweight - and that was even after pooping and before eating! She showed off her two dimples (our doctor remembered that Emily has one dimple. isn't that sweet of her??), and she was awake and alert and shining, clear through the appointment and the trip to the grocery store afterwards. What a nice little girl!
She's been sleeping pretty well at night, in general. We had one rough night this week, but she's really pretty good with the 3-hour snooze between feedings. She's got incredible output capabilities, though, so she's in size 1 diapers for overnight. They look ridiculous on her, but the newborn size just doesn't have the capacity we're needing! We're getting closer to being regulated for supply and demand as far as food goes. I'm still pretty sore, but it's getting better.
She has found the same framed pictures that her sister liked at this age, and it's fun to sit on the couch with her while she looks up at them. I still think it's funny how it can get to be overwhelming for her! She'll look for a good long while, and then start crying when it's gotten to be too much stimulation! Such a concept!
And she's SO beautiful! I wish I could get a picture of her eyelashes, but they're too thin to show up in pictures. They're long, though, and so pretty! She has the most pleasant expression, too, and I crack up everytime she gives me her hungry snarly face. She just looks like she's ready to laugh at any minute. And it's so funny to compare how she's like Emily, or baby Kristin or baby Travis. It'll be even more fun to do those comparisons as her personality comes out!
We really thought long and hard about what to name this little girl. The more I get to know her, the more amazed I am that we got it right! It wasn't a name we had considered until after she was born. I really thought that I had thought of everything, though, in picking a name for her that was beautiful and ageless, so you can imagine how devastated I was when she came home and Emily referred to her as "Laundry." *sigh* She's just about got it now, but it's been tougher for her than I thought it would be!! Someday I'll laugh, right? :)
I am so in love with my girls!!
She's been sleeping pretty well at night, in general. We had one rough night this week, but she's really pretty good with the 3-hour snooze between feedings. She's got incredible output capabilities, though, so she's in size 1 diapers for overnight. They look ridiculous on her, but the newborn size just doesn't have the capacity we're needing! We're getting closer to being regulated for supply and demand as far as food goes. I'm still pretty sore, but it's getting better.
She has found the same framed pictures that her sister liked at this age, and it's fun to sit on the couch with her while she looks up at them. I still think it's funny how it can get to be overwhelming for her! She'll look for a good long while, and then start crying when it's gotten to be too much stimulation! Such a concept!
And she's SO beautiful! I wish I could get a picture of her eyelashes, but they're too thin to show up in pictures. They're long, though, and so pretty! She has the most pleasant expression, too, and I crack up everytime she gives me her hungry snarly face. She just looks like she's ready to laugh at any minute. And it's so funny to compare how she's like Emily, or baby Kristin or baby Travis. It'll be even more fun to do those comparisons as her personality comes out!
We really thought long and hard about what to name this little girl. The more I get to know her, the more amazed I am that we got it right! It wasn't a name we had considered until after she was born. I really thought that I had thought of everything, though, in picking a name for her that was beautiful and ageless, so you can imagine how devastated I was when she came home and Emily referred to her as "Laundry." *sigh* She's just about got it now, but it's been tougher for her than I thought it would be!! Someday I'll laugh, right? :)
I am so in love with my girls!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Audrey Elizabeth Sullivan
Born November 6, 2009, at 10:55 AM. Weighed 8 lbs, 14 oz, and was 21" long.
Thursday night, I went to bed a little early hoping to go into my last workday feeling rested. I woke up at midnight to go to the bathroom, and I wasn't feeling well but I was too tired to care. At 1:30, I woke up again from the general pain of things, so I went to the bathroom and noticed my shorts were wet. I couldn't believe it - my water had broken!!! I came back to bed and had the stupidest conversation with Travis, along the lines of, "I think my water broke." "Well, did it?" "Well, yeah!" "Now what?" "Uh...."
I called my sister, and she drove down from Ames to be here when Emily woke up. Even though she made the drive incredibly fast, I still decided I should be at the hospital right away. Since my contractions weren't that bad or frequent, I actually drove myself to the hospital, sitting on towels. :) Travis came as soon as Jenny got here. As a side note, Emily had a fantastic day with Jenny's family. She was so happy to see Jenny when she woke up, and she spent the day with her cousins, apparently not missing me or Travis at all.
At the hospital, they confirmed it was amniotic fluid, and said I was dilated to 5 and 75% effaced, but that my water hadn't completely broken yet (just a leak at the top, I guess). They admitted me, and the on-call doctor said I could have an epidural if I wanted one. I said yes, and they proceded to start an IV for the necessary fluids. It took three different nurses FIVE tries to get the IV started, and quite honestly it hurt a LOT more than the contractions did at the time. I still have four lovely bruises on my arms from their attempts. After the fluids got started, I got the epidural, and it was also an awful experience. It's really cold in a hospital at 4 AM, and since my pain wasn't that bad yet, I was fully aware of what the anaesthesiologist was doing and it was really awful. And, since they thought I was progressing so quickly, the drug mix they gave me was one for fast action and not necessarily long-lasting thorough pain relief. There was some narcotic in it that made me itch all over, like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. If I hadn't just trimmed my fingernails, I probably could've put up with it, but instead they gave me Nubain to numb that. Well, that made me feel incredibly drunk and woozy, and it put me to sleep. I can't remember when the doctor finished breaking my water, but it didn't get contractions going like they wanted it to, so they started me on Pitocin too, since I already had my epidural. I slept for a couple hours, and when I woke up around 8, they said I was still just at 6 cm, but getting to be more effaced. Everybody who checked me said I was really "stretchy." I don't know what that means, but they all commented on it.
By 10 or so, the pitocin had ramped up to insane levels and I was feeling the contractions through the epidural. The nubain had mostly worn off, but I was still exhausted from all the mid-night excitement. I was really struggling through the contractions, and finally the nurse checked me and said I was at a 10 - calling me a "goof" in the process. They got everything all set up, and I was ready to push, and suddenly half the people left the room!!! It was so weird - they all got called to another emergency somewhere, so there was just the doctor, the nurse, and a nurse who used to be in NICU but was training to be in labor / delivery. I didn't really notice it was strange until later, because I was in a LOT of pain. I could really feel the baby, and really feel the contractions, and when I went to hit the magic epidural button for more, the nurse told me it wouldn't help in time. But, I think I only pushed for a couple of minutes, and I have no stitches!! I also feel like I was a bit more "into" the experience than with Emily's birth, where they had to watch the monitor for a contraction to tell me to push. This time, I knew!!
So, my baby girl was weighed and measured and checked out, and then she ate! She was still a little drugged up from the nubain, and so was I, so it was a little tougher for her, but we did all right. She slept all afternoon while Travis and I tried to figure out what to name her. It was really hard, because although we had lots of beautiful options, there was always a downfall - too juvenile, too old-lady, bad nicknames, or just personal preference from either me or Travis. Finally we settled on Audrey Elizabeth, and I think it's just right!
I have been wondering if I should've not had the epidural, since I ended up in so much pain anyway. I think that what got contractions going was when I shifted positions after I woke up. A friend of mine had told me that sitting upright, leaning forward a bit, can help a baby get into the right position for delivery, so I figured I'd do a little of that. There was a gush of fluid when I did that, and I could feel that contractions were stronger after that. But, with the epidural, they wanted me to lie back as much as possible to keep the anaesthetic up in my belly and not all in my feet. And, the stupid monitors they had on me to watch the baby's heartbeat kept losing connection when I'd lean forward, so the nurses kept wanting me to lean back. But, if I had been able to sit up at 6 AM instead of being knocked unconscious by Nubain, I probably could've had Audrey sooner. I know there's no way of knowing, but I'm kind of regretting getting the epidural and having to go through all those drugs. I guess as long as I don't have stitches, I'm pretty happy. The recovery has been so much easier this time than after Emily's birth.
Since the H1N1 virus has been going around, the hospital limited our visitors to two at a time (we abused that one quite a bit!) and no visitors under age 18. I had hoped we could skirt the latter rule, too, but they stopped Emily at the doors and said I had to come out to see her. I did, and she had had such a fun and crazy day that she wasn't particularly glad to see me. That was really hard to take, because I had really missed her! But she had missed my ears, and wanted me to play with her in the toys in the lobby, so we did that together, and she gave me a fantastic goodbye hug and kiss when she left to go home with Travis. I stayed with Audrey in the hospital overnight, and came home about noon on Saturday.
It was definitely a joyous homecoming, with Audrey getting lots and lots of kisses from Emily. She wanted to change Audrey's diaper right away, cuz that's what you do with babies!! And since Audrey takes after her sister in the diaper department, there have been plenty of opportunities for diaper changes. Wow, that girl can poop! Emily has been so loving and so interested in Audrey; the hard parts have been the effects of the general stress. We have all been really tired, although Travis is caught up pretty well and is serving as the sole functioning and rational member of our family. Emily is a real trooper, though, and has really been great. She was right - baby sister was coming, after all!
This afternoon, Emily is at daycare while Travis is at work. My mom has been here since Audrey was born, and just went home this morning. Audrey and I have had some nice snuggle time and both of us have been napping (one of us more than the other!). My milk came in yesterday, and I've been fighting the soreness, but Audrey is doing a pretty good job of eating both sides each time she nurses, and I hope that means my stint as a Dolly Parton imitator can end soon. OW. The intense stretching sensation isn't as bad as the first time, but the bruised feeling is still there. And, this time I've got a 2-year-old inadvertently throwing elbows and slamming her head on my chest in attempts to snuggle, and it hurts so much when she does that! I sure like having more lap available, though. We can get extra close and I have really missed that!
I have such a nice little family. There's a new folder at our picasa site, which is linked at the top of this page. It's pretty overwhelming that I have two children, now. Two amazing little girls!
Thursday night, I went to bed a little early hoping to go into my last workday feeling rested. I woke up at midnight to go to the bathroom, and I wasn't feeling well but I was too tired to care. At 1:30, I woke up again from the general pain of things, so I went to the bathroom and noticed my shorts were wet. I couldn't believe it - my water had broken!!! I came back to bed and had the stupidest conversation with Travis, along the lines of, "I think my water broke." "Well, did it?" "Well, yeah!" "Now what?" "Uh...."
I called my sister, and she drove down from Ames to be here when Emily woke up. Even though she made the drive incredibly fast, I still decided I should be at the hospital right away. Since my contractions weren't that bad or frequent, I actually drove myself to the hospital, sitting on towels. :) Travis came as soon as Jenny got here. As a side note, Emily had a fantastic day with Jenny's family. She was so happy to see Jenny when she woke up, and she spent the day with her cousins, apparently not missing me or Travis at all.
At the hospital, they confirmed it was amniotic fluid, and said I was dilated to 5 and 75% effaced, but that my water hadn't completely broken yet (just a leak at the top, I guess). They admitted me, and the on-call doctor said I could have an epidural if I wanted one. I said yes, and they proceded to start an IV for the necessary fluids. It took three different nurses FIVE tries to get the IV started, and quite honestly it hurt a LOT more than the contractions did at the time. I still have four lovely bruises on my arms from their attempts. After the fluids got started, I got the epidural, and it was also an awful experience. It's really cold in a hospital at 4 AM, and since my pain wasn't that bad yet, I was fully aware of what the anaesthesiologist was doing and it was really awful. And, since they thought I was progressing so quickly, the drug mix they gave me was one for fast action and not necessarily long-lasting thorough pain relief. There was some narcotic in it that made me itch all over, like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. If I hadn't just trimmed my fingernails, I probably could've put up with it, but instead they gave me Nubain to numb that. Well, that made me feel incredibly drunk and woozy, and it put me to sleep. I can't remember when the doctor finished breaking my water, but it didn't get contractions going like they wanted it to, so they started me on Pitocin too, since I already had my epidural. I slept for a couple hours, and when I woke up around 8, they said I was still just at 6 cm, but getting to be more effaced. Everybody who checked me said I was really "stretchy." I don't know what that means, but they all commented on it.
By 10 or so, the pitocin had ramped up to insane levels and I was feeling the contractions through the epidural. The nubain had mostly worn off, but I was still exhausted from all the mid-night excitement. I was really struggling through the contractions, and finally the nurse checked me and said I was at a 10 - calling me a "goof" in the process. They got everything all set up, and I was ready to push, and suddenly half the people left the room!!! It was so weird - they all got called to another emergency somewhere, so there was just the doctor, the nurse, and a nurse who used to be in NICU but was training to be in labor / delivery. I didn't really notice it was strange until later, because I was in a LOT of pain. I could really feel the baby, and really feel the contractions, and when I went to hit the magic epidural button for more, the nurse told me it wouldn't help in time. But, I think I only pushed for a couple of minutes, and I have no stitches!! I also feel like I was a bit more "into" the experience than with Emily's birth, where they had to watch the monitor for a contraction to tell me to push. This time, I knew!!
So, my baby girl was weighed and measured and checked out, and then she ate! She was still a little drugged up from the nubain, and so was I, so it was a little tougher for her, but we did all right. She slept all afternoon while Travis and I tried to figure out what to name her. It was really hard, because although we had lots of beautiful options, there was always a downfall - too juvenile, too old-lady, bad nicknames, or just personal preference from either me or Travis. Finally we settled on Audrey Elizabeth, and I think it's just right!
I have been wondering if I should've not had the epidural, since I ended up in so much pain anyway. I think that what got contractions going was when I shifted positions after I woke up. A friend of mine had told me that sitting upright, leaning forward a bit, can help a baby get into the right position for delivery, so I figured I'd do a little of that. There was a gush of fluid when I did that, and I could feel that contractions were stronger after that. But, with the epidural, they wanted me to lie back as much as possible to keep the anaesthetic up in my belly and not all in my feet. And, the stupid monitors they had on me to watch the baby's heartbeat kept losing connection when I'd lean forward, so the nurses kept wanting me to lean back. But, if I had been able to sit up at 6 AM instead of being knocked unconscious by Nubain, I probably could've had Audrey sooner. I know there's no way of knowing, but I'm kind of regretting getting the epidural and having to go through all those drugs. I guess as long as I don't have stitches, I'm pretty happy. The recovery has been so much easier this time than after Emily's birth.
Since the H1N1 virus has been going around, the hospital limited our visitors to two at a time (we abused that one quite a bit!) and no visitors under age 18. I had hoped we could skirt the latter rule, too, but they stopped Emily at the doors and said I had to come out to see her. I did, and she had had such a fun and crazy day that she wasn't particularly glad to see me. That was really hard to take, because I had really missed her! But she had missed my ears, and wanted me to play with her in the toys in the lobby, so we did that together, and she gave me a fantastic goodbye hug and kiss when she left to go home with Travis. I stayed with Audrey in the hospital overnight, and came home about noon on Saturday.
It was definitely a joyous homecoming, with Audrey getting lots and lots of kisses from Emily. She wanted to change Audrey's diaper right away, cuz that's what you do with babies!! And since Audrey takes after her sister in the diaper department, there have been plenty of opportunities for diaper changes. Wow, that girl can poop! Emily has been so loving and so interested in Audrey; the hard parts have been the effects of the general stress. We have all been really tired, although Travis is caught up pretty well and is serving as the sole functioning and rational member of our family. Emily is a real trooper, though, and has really been great. She was right - baby sister was coming, after all!
This afternoon, Emily is at daycare while Travis is at work. My mom has been here since Audrey was born, and just went home this morning. Audrey and I have had some nice snuggle time and both of us have been napping (one of us more than the other!). My milk came in yesterday, and I've been fighting the soreness, but Audrey is doing a pretty good job of eating both sides each time she nurses, and I hope that means my stint as a Dolly Parton imitator can end soon. OW. The intense stretching sensation isn't as bad as the first time, but the bruised feeling is still there. And, this time I've got a 2-year-old inadvertently throwing elbows and slamming her head on my chest in attempts to snuggle, and it hurts so much when she does that! I sure like having more lap available, though. We can get extra close and I have really missed that!
I have such a nice little family. There's a new folder at our picasa site, which is linked at the top of this page. It's pretty overwhelming that I have two children, now. Two amazing little girls!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
All about Emily
I've been complaining about this pregnancy a lot, so I'll update with what my little girl has been up to lately.
During the week of her birthday, she switched from calling herself "Eminee" to "Emily." It was so interesting to hear her carefully correct herself and say her name just the way she wanted it. We got a few Clifford books from the library last week, and since the main character is Emily Elizabeth, she likes to refer to herself as Emily Claire on occasion. It's just beautiful to hear her say it. :)
We had all of last week together to work on potty training, and she did really well for a couple of days (with my nagging) and then eventually she decided it wasn't worthwhile. But after two days back at Amanda's and being in the mix with the big kids again, she has had a dry diaper/undies all day today. She even pooped, all on her own, because I took her potty downstairs while I did laundry and left her by herself. Apparently she just needed some privacy! :) She ate her skittles, flushed her poo and said bye-bye, and told her dad, her aunt, and her grandma over the phone. She was so excited, and so was I!
We played in the sandbox today for nearly an hour. She was concentrating so hard on scooping, pouring, and stirring, and even added to the imagination of her play by saying she was making muffins! She added sugar and eggs and milk, stirred it all up, and scooped it out. The concentration was amazing to see. It looked like play, but there was real coordination skill being developed there.
She can draw really nice circles now, too! I have found that drawing food is an easy thing to do with her, since the shapes are simple and fast to draw. She draws really nice fried eggs (circle in a circle, with the center one colored in), and lollipops (circle with a stick). Today I was drawing a bus for her, and asked her where the wheels belong, and she answered and pointed. It was so neat to be able to ask her questions and have her really work to figure out the answer.
Today may be our last day together, just the two of us, even though I haven't had any contractions and I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten any more dilation than the 2 cm at my appointment on Monday. We didn't leave the house, and the most exciting thing we've done today is laundry and talk to the neighbor. But we've really had a lot of fun together, and it's been fun to see her learning, from doing puzzles to singing songs and telling me stories. What an amazing little girl she is!
During the week of her birthday, she switched from calling herself "Eminee" to "Emily." It was so interesting to hear her carefully correct herself and say her name just the way she wanted it. We got a few Clifford books from the library last week, and since the main character is Emily Elizabeth, she likes to refer to herself as Emily Claire on occasion. It's just beautiful to hear her say it. :)
We had all of last week together to work on potty training, and she did really well for a couple of days (with my nagging) and then eventually she decided it wasn't worthwhile. But after two days back at Amanda's and being in the mix with the big kids again, she has had a dry diaper/undies all day today. She even pooped, all on her own, because I took her potty downstairs while I did laundry and left her by herself. Apparently she just needed some privacy! :) She ate her skittles, flushed her poo and said bye-bye, and told her dad, her aunt, and her grandma over the phone. She was so excited, and so was I!
We played in the sandbox today for nearly an hour. She was concentrating so hard on scooping, pouring, and stirring, and even added to the imagination of her play by saying she was making muffins! She added sugar and eggs and milk, stirred it all up, and scooped it out. The concentration was amazing to see. It looked like play, but there was real coordination skill being developed there.
She can draw really nice circles now, too! I have found that drawing food is an easy thing to do with her, since the shapes are simple and fast to draw. She draws really nice fried eggs (circle in a circle, with the center one colored in), and lollipops (circle with a stick). Today I was drawing a bus for her, and asked her where the wheels belong, and she answered and pointed. It was so neat to be able to ask her questions and have her really work to figure out the answer.
Today may be our last day together, just the two of us, even though I haven't had any contractions and I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten any more dilation than the 2 cm at my appointment on Monday. We didn't leave the house, and the most exciting thing we've done today is laundry and talk to the neighbor. But we've really had a lot of fun together, and it's been fun to see her learning, from doing puzzles to singing songs and telling me stories. What an amazing little girl she is!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Don't be silly. Of course there's no baby yet!
I am really suffering these days. This morning I had my first heart-racing episodes with this pregnancy. I had them a lot with Emily - my heart would race and I'd feel faint. Getting down on all 4's helped again, so at least I know how to end the misery, short-term. If I had ever had a doctor take me seriously the first time, I might know why they're occuring again (is the baby so big s/he's on some major artery again?? and if so, is that really scary because s/he's already dropped??)
I "only" have 3 days until my next dr's appointment. I am so annoyed with their scheduling, but even more annoyed that a friend told me she scheduled hers all months in advance. Why don't they advocate that for people?!?! Jeez. I am getting more and more frustrated with my prenatal "care." Sounds like it's just a prenatal routine to tell me to suck it up and we'll deal with you at 41 weeks.
It's beautiful outside today, so I was sitting watching Emily in the swing while Travis pushed her. It's hilarious to watch, but would've been much more enjoyable had the pain in my pelvis been radiating clear down to my feet. I had to lie down on my right side to take some of the pressure off, and even that only helped a little. I can't walk - if I stand up I get a contraction, and it takes me several minutes to actually straighten all the way up. Even the, I can't bring my left leg forward; I have to swing it around the side instead. Every time Emily crawls up onto my lap for a book, she pokes her elbow into my tummy and it causes a contraction. They're really painful, and they're mentally frustrating too because they do no good at all!!! It just makes me cry. i've been on the verge of tears all day.
And things started off really nicely today. Travis slept downstairs because of my snoring, so I was able to really get comfy and relax all night. I woke up once to pee, and then at 6 AM (new time) I heard pitter-patter of little feet come into my room. She and I snuggled/slept for almost another hour before we finally came downstairs. The more miserable I get, the more cheerful and helpful and sweet Travis gets. He's been productive and busy all day, but not so busy that he doesn't step in and help me when he sees me struggling. I would be in fantastic spirits if I weren't in so much pain, with no end in sight!!!
I "only" have 3 days until my next dr's appointment. I am so annoyed with their scheduling, but even more annoyed that a friend told me she scheduled hers all months in advance. Why don't they advocate that for people?!?! Jeez. I am getting more and more frustrated with my prenatal "care." Sounds like it's just a prenatal routine to tell me to suck it up and we'll deal with you at 41 weeks.
It's beautiful outside today, so I was sitting watching Emily in the swing while Travis pushed her. It's hilarious to watch, but would've been much more enjoyable had the pain in my pelvis been radiating clear down to my feet. I had to lie down on my right side to take some of the pressure off, and even that only helped a little. I can't walk - if I stand up I get a contraction, and it takes me several minutes to actually straighten all the way up. Even the, I can't bring my left leg forward; I have to swing it around the side instead. Every time Emily crawls up onto my lap for a book, she pokes her elbow into my tummy and it causes a contraction. They're really painful, and they're mentally frustrating too because they do no good at all!!! It just makes me cry. i've been on the verge of tears all day.
And things started off really nicely today. Travis slept downstairs because of my snoring, so I was able to really get comfy and relax all night. I woke up once to pee, and then at 6 AM (new time) I heard pitter-patter of little feet come into my room. She and I snuggled/slept for almost another hour before we finally came downstairs. The more miserable I get, the more cheerful and helpful and sweet Travis gets. He's been productive and busy all day, but not so busy that he doesn't step in and help me when he sees me struggling. I would be in fantastic spirits if I weren't in so much pain, with no end in sight!!!
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