the new normal

Hi everyone.

So I've finally started my new job, and I think it's going to be good. I have had nothing but positive interactions with the people there, and although the actual tasks that I'll be doing aren't that exciting, I think it'll be the kind of thing that is a bit of challenge but also have an opportunity to show that I can do it well. Best of all: I'm free from Tom!! I'm still simmering down - it makes me so angry to think about him - but there's nothing to do now except be happy I escaped. You might be interested to know that his action of adding the responsibility for another production line to my job actually violated federal law. FMLA says you can't significantly change a person's job while she's on medical leave, and that's exactly what he did. He only got away with it because I am not still in that job (I guess the law only protects you if you can't escape by other means, which I did), but if I had wanted to come back to that job full-time I could be suing Deere now. Interesting, huh??

Emily is doing pretty well with daycare. She's a little crankier for a while after she comes home, but she isn't totally stressed or unmanageable, either here or at daycare. She's eating my pre-pumped meals from a bottle just fine, and starting to be a little more comfortable with all the noise, according to Amanda. I've gotta say that I feel really good about Emily being there. We are going to be just fine in that respect. In fact, while Travis was gone in Madison all last week, it was kinda nice to have a break from Emily for a couple of hours, since I was on full-duty at home.

We had a crazy day yesterday, being social, but it was lots of fun. I got to see people that I hadn't seen for a long time, and it was really fun. Also stopped in and saw my grandparents in Ames, and Travis's parents were in town too. I hit a wall at about 10:00 and just couldn't be social any more, so we came home from a gathering a bit early. It was weird, I wasn't mad about anything, really, but when Emily had trouble unwinding I realized I was just completely out of gas and couldn't stop sobbing. But it was easier letting it go, knowing that Travis was totally supportive and there wasn't anything really wrong, I was just exhausted. Emily has been asleep for 2 hours this afternoon already, and I slept for almost an hour and a half of that. I feel human again!

I updated her picasa pictures again. There are pictures from her 3-month sitting at Sears. The pictures are pretty good, although they would've been better if Emily would've taken a nap beforehand like she should have!! I thought she did pretty well to get the smiles out, considering how tired she was. Anyway - enjoy!

Time to brag

This entry will only hold things about how wonderful my daughter is, because I'm sure you're all tired of listening to me gripe about work. Okay - two sentences: My last day in my old job is Jan 14, and I get an exit interview there where I will not be shy about telling them how awful a manager Tom is. He did not hold back in his criticisms of me in my performance review, which he was clear in telling me is only his opinion and not based in any fact or evidence of my accomplishments this year. *sigh*. That is all.

Emily surprised me today, and I'm afraid I'll look like a careless mother by telling you all this but I didn't think it would be a problem at the time. I had her propped up, sitting leaning on some pillows on my bed while I emptied the trash in my room and straightened up a few things. (She likes to look around while I talk to her.) She managed to lean forward and roll to the side, so when I looked up she was on her tummy on the bed!! The weirdest part is that she generally doesn't like tummy time so much, and you'd think she'd have been surprised or upset that she had fallen forward like that, but she didn't make a peep when it happened. I am glad I had her in the middle of the bed and not on the edge or she might've tumbled off. Creeps me out to think about that!

Emily loves the piano. She fell asleep in my lap one day while I played with one hand, so the next day I put her in my front carrier (which she loves, for this or for just walking around the house). She faces forward and puts one hand on each of my arms, and just watches me play. I can see her reflection in the gloss of the piano, and she is so concentrated on my hands, watching the black and white keys or the black and white music. I love it!

She had her first day at daycare yesterday. Our provider's name is Amanda, and she has a little girl named Emma and a boy named Brady, and she is wonderful. It was a little unnerving when I dropped her off, because Amanda's youngest was crying and sick with a cough, and things were pretty crazy and hectic. But as I was driving to work I realized that she was not at all ruffled in that situation, which is great because Emily really responds to stress. Amanda wrote down everything that went on that afternoon - she was only there 5 hours and she filled a whole notebook page! I feel really relieved that everything went all right yesterday. We are so lucky to have found her.

We think that Emily is starting to figure out her hands. She has a few toys where she can sit and look at things dangling above her, so when she swings her hands she can touch them. It seems like now she is looking at where she's hitting, not all the time but more so than before. There's a rattle in particular that she likes to swat at. It's pretty entertaining - for both of us. :)

Ahh, I should get back to being busy now. Emily is just the most amazing little girl. She doesn't cuddle much, unless it's 3 AM and she's drifting off after a snack and a change, but she likes to sit and smile and talk with me or her dad. And if we keep her out of stressful situations, she's only fussy if she needs something. We discovered the hard way that she can get really overstimulated easily, and cry frantically and inconsolably, but I don't think she's done that for more than an hour and I know there are far more difficult babies to deal with. Plus we are learning how to keep her from getting too wound up, and I think spending time with the older kids at Amanda's will help a bit too.

As always, keep checking our picasa site for new pictures! She just gets cuter and cuter!!

First day of school

Okay, my summer vacation is over, and I'm officially back to work now. And not in that pretend way that I was back to work after one day at the plant in order to receive pay for Christmas - very social and not at all productive! I went to my new job yesterday, even though nobody was ready for me and about all I got out of it was an overwhelming tour and meeting lots of people that I'll have to be reintroduced to. But it appears I will have to go back to the plant for a while. Since HR didn't get my transfer done before Jan 1, it won't take place until Jan 15. That means that Des Moines Works is paying my salary, and because of that, tom thinks I should work there until then. (It's as if he thinks he can get his money's worth of work out of me! Ha!) He also thinks I can work all day of the 14th and 15th while the other metallurgist is out of town, and I only have childcare available for the afternoon of the 14th. My new manager and he went around in circles with this a few times yesterday, and each time Joel would come back and tell me what Tom said. By the end, he seemed to be catching on that Tom was just in a power play for my time so he wouldn't look bad for having a department who is fleeing his management. (Another environmental engineer resigned yesterday, so that makes 3 out of 7 people under Tom's management who have left since his arrival. Maybe we all respond poorly to new management...). Joel said he told Tom that I didn't have childcare for the 14th and 15th, and Tom said he would talk to me today about it. As if he can convince me to magically make it work. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I really liked my new workplace and I think I will like my temporary assignment, especially since it's temporary. Joel wants me to spend about 1/4 of my time looking at other areas to see where I could transition to at the end of April. Very cool! Everybody was friendly and I liked the atmosphere of the place. Travis had a nice afternoon with Emily, and my mom is coming today to watch her this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon. We start childcare with Amanda on Jan 7, although I think we will spend a bit of time with her tomorrow morning just to get a feel for the place in action, and to give Emily a little taste of it (although I can't say how much she'll remember). We'll see how I feel about being away from Emily when she is neither at home nor with Travis or me.

I had a dream last night that I left Emily in the car, thinking that Travis had her. When she didn't, and I realized she was in the car, I ran out to find her and the car doors were open and her carseat was unattached. It was as if I had gotten there just before someone had made off with her. It was horrible. I had this dream after Travis left in the morning, so in actuality Emily was right next to me in bed. I was so happy to wake up and see her little sleeping face.

Tonight is Iowa's caucus, so Emily is wearing her onesie that says "I already know more than the president." Excellent. :)