I should be asleep, but I am having trouble relaxing tonight. I left Travis with the girls tonight while I went out and did a few social things with friends, and even though I got home at 8:30 I'm still having trouble unwinding. I missed bedtime for the first time since Clara was born!!! I have rocked her, nursed her, and laid her in her crib every single night of her existence, except tonight. I am really pretty sad, even though I did still get to kiss her sleeping head when I went to bed (initially). I'm actually looking forward to hearing her squawk at 6AM tomorrow, and then snuggling with her in bed until another little girl tells me it's time to get up.
Anyway, this blog started when I got pregnant, and since that time there have only been a few months where I was not pregnant or nursing. Three babies, ZERO formula!! Yeah!! It's crazy the amount of dedication my body has put into these little creatures, and how much I love them. I'm proud of myself, too, because for as many things as I get wrong, I'm doing my very best in other ways, too.
So, tonight I go to bed as just another post-childbearing-aged woman. And, the mother of 3 very special little people. I'll try to focus on the latter, not the former.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Um, June!
Does anyone even read this anymore? :) I guess at this point I'm just keeping going so that Clara knows I was delighting in her milestones as much as I did in Emily's and Audrey's. So first off, what my littlest love has been up to:
She took her first steps on her birthday, just a little shuffle towards me, after we had taken her 12-month cupcake pictures in the backyard. The next day was her birthday party, and just as guests were coming, Travis went to take her picture next to the Happy Birthday sign, and she decided to walk over to me instead! So we have picture documentation of her first steps. Since then, she's gotten to the point where she generally prefers walking, although if she's upset or in a hurry or someplace weird (long grass in the backyard) she'll resort to crawling. She has given up morning nap, but has held on to nighttime nursing. She tried to get me to nurse her to sleep for nap a few days ago, by pulling up on my shirt and spitting out her pacifier, whimpering pathetically. But I didn't cave! We can't be adding feedings back in! Although it's tempting, considering her tummy troubles as of late. I don't know what will help, but breastmilk couldn't hurt. So that's the other reason I'm not arguing with her wanting to nurse at night. My suspicion is that she may not be getting enough fat in her diet. I read that a toddler is supposed to get 30% of her calories from fat, and since she's eating all the same food as the rest of us, I doubt she's getting that (heaven forbid we put mayo or butter on anything!!). This is another reason they say to give toddlers whole milk and not anything lighter, but I took it a step further and have been feeding her straight-up half & half. Why not?? :) If you've gotta learn to like drinking something else, why go with anything except pure deliciousness? And she's coming around to it, so I'd call it a success. Especially if I get her back to producing logs again. It's been a very, very stinky week.
Anyway, enough about poop and more about my delightful daughters. Clara is very good at making her preferences known through shrieks and grunts, and is still very much attached to me, and to her pacifier. Audrey is having a fantastic time being 3 and a half. She seems to float through each day, happy and smiley and telling me every so often that she loves me, which is nice although I think it's probably more just a sign of her general contentment. Tucking her in at night, I marvel at how beautiful and happy she is, and how could another day of her 4th year be over and gone?? Emily asked Travis to take her training wheels off her bike, so that was a pretty special Father's Day for him. She can really go, now! Audrey can still coast down the hill on her balance bike, and they look so happy and carefree, sailing down the sidewalk in their cool summer dresses (backless, of course!).
They are signed up to go to a summer class next week, about fun science stuff. I am pretty excited for them. It had better be cool, considering how expensive it was, but I love the idea that they can go together (it's for 3-5YO's) so I splurged. They are having a great time now that summer is really here. I got out the wading pool tonight, and they all 3 enjoyed that and Clara's water table that she got for her birthday. Our backyard is so shady and pleasant on summer evenings, that it makes it easy to just chill out together. I also signed them up for swimming lessons during the first two weeks in July, so we'll see how that goes! Emily has almost no experience swimming in anything other than a wading pool, and she's very "first child" cautious. But on the heels of the bike success, maybe it'll go really well!
Travis has continued his crazy work schedule, with this week and a few weeks ago dedicated to people who are in town from all over the world. Due to Des Moines' lack of public transportation, he gets to shuttle them around to places, and shmooze with them at I-Cubs games and other events. tonight he is on his way back from Moline with another group of them. He was gone by 6:15 this morning and won't be home until 10:00, probably. He said he might take tomorrow afternoon off to spend some time at home, but it's a crock that he'll probably actually take vacation to do that. But he loves his job, and will be going to Singapore in early July so I guess a person would say that it's all going well. We realized, a week after preschool had ended, that one of Emily's friends in her class that she talked about all the time had the last name of Israel - yeah, the granddaughter of the president of JDF. But Travis is in such a position that he actually had a chance to talk with him, and chatted with how Emily is friends with his granddaughter. I am so impressed with Travis, professionally (and other ways too, of course!). I think it's really incredible what he's done with his career and how he manages to make me and the girls a priority, too. We have such a happy little life here.
I should dedicate at least a paragraph to the major family event, in The Greek Wedding! Travis's brother got married to a wonderful girl, and they had an amazing party to celebrate. Her family is Greek, so the ceremony was in the Greek Orthodox church and it was really interesting. There was a lot of repetition (3x, for Father, Son, Holy Spirit) so it seemed a little OCD at times but mostly just adventurous. Mark's godfather is a retired Catholic priest, so he participated in the ceremony by providing a blessing for the couple. It was one of many, many emotionally moving moments on the weekend. The girls did a fantastic job as flower girls -- I sure hope the photographer got some pictures of them because I only have a few from snapshots that other people took and while they're cute, they're not truly representative of how adorable they were. I wasn't in documentation mode that day, or I would've at least gotten my phone out and snapped a picture of all those curls I worked on... oh well, it was definitely not the most important part of the weekend, by far. :) It was really fun to welcome Lea to the family, and to feel like truly one of the welcomers. Over the past 10 years, I have truly gained a family, and she's lucky she gets to do the same!
To be honest, it's been hard to want to blog lately. It took weeks to get a replacement computer, and it's not like I didn't have internet access, I just didn't want to be using equipment that reminded me of that stupid, stupid blunder of leaving the back door unlocked. And there have been a few stressful things in my family of origin... my sister's ex-husband took her to court for contempt, as a violation of the divorce decree because she wrote the wrong date on a tax form. That asshole spent thousands of dollars in attorney fees, and forced her to do the same, to get a ruling that said she had to pay his $80 CPA fee because he's too dumb to know how to file for an extension from the IRS -- which is FREE. Forunately, the court realized that the other 2 things he was charging her with were completely bogus, but she still had to pay the $80 to him, plus $500 of his attorney fees. That stress is over, at least, but it stirs everything up again, and for as anxious as it makes Jenny, it makes her girls, too. And my mom was a lunatic for a few days - who can blame her, right?? The court could have found her guilty on 3 counts, with a punishment of 90 days in jail. So yeah, Mom was out of her head, and I was spending time talking her down, going through Jenny's emails trying to prove that Jenny had done her very best in the situation, and talking her through what to discuss with her attorney, reassuring her that the $580 fine is money well spent to make it go away, and all the other emotional turmoil on it. It's exhausting. Why can't their divorce just be done and stay done?
And I don't know if it's appropriate to mention here, because some of you personally know the peopel involved, but I think if you're reading this I can trust you to be discrete with the information. It's going to get out at some point, anyway. My sister-in-law told me, on my birthday, that she has been cheating on my brother, for at least 10 years, their entire relationship, with many many different guys. She has been formally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a misleading name because it implies that it's on the line between sick and well, but it's not, it's the border between two different kinds of mentally ill. And the diagnosis fits, now that her behavior is coming to light. She is apparently a tremendous liar, which is a testimony to her incredible intelligence, and armed with that she has been able to nearly function through her adult life. Until she finally got cornered into a mess she couldn't lie her way out of. In coming clean to her therapist, it's been a very ugly unraveling of lies. There are a lot of details more to it than that, but basically they are separating, with a divorce probably on the horizon (she has moved out of the house, so Dan lives there with their son). Personally, I am crushed because I have truly loved her like a sister. I feel personally betrayed and distrustful and... then guilty because she's truly ill, and am I turning my back on her, because the Kerri I loved is still there, somewhere, separate from the BPD? Or do I betray Dan by wishing I could support Kerri too? And then more guilt because really it's not about me, it's about Dan and his son. I have my own happy little life with delightful daughters and amazing husband, but, I can't begin to dive in to sort it out... it's just too much to digest, at times. The contrast between my life and my siblings' lives is blinding, really. I've been trying to be supportive of Dan as best I can, but there's not much I can do at this point. There's also the guilt that I have supported Jenny constantly throughout her divorce, aware of every action she took, whereas Dan found out about Kerri's history and diagnosis nearly a year ago, and I only just found out about it, and there's nothing I can do anyway.
So, I didn't know if I should include this kind of thing here... but it's what's going on in my life. I love my brother, and it stings to see this happen to him, just as much as it does to see Jenny dealing with her things. In the ultimate of ironies, Jenny's ex has been insisting for years that she has BPD and should be kept from her children because she's so mentally ill. He even spent most of his time on the stand during the contempt hearing railing about how controlling and awful she is, though it had nothing to do with what he was formally accusing her of doing. She absolutely does not have BPD, and it's clear to see when compared to someone who does. It is the most awful of awful things that I can now make such a direct comparison.
When I was 13, my dad's sister got married, and she was the last of my dad's siblings to do so. I remember thinking that then I finally had 4 aunts and 4 uncles on that side of the family. Two weeks after the wedding, my dad's brother died, so it was back to 4 aunts and 3 uncles. The math was a sufficient way for me to wrap my 13-year-old mind around such events. So now, at 33, I have basically gained and lost a sister-in-law in the same month. It's just too weird, and the math doesn't help.
So when Clara wants to stay attached to me, and snuggle and have me hold her, I really don't mind at all. I'd say it's therapy for both of us. I'm going to love her and protect her while I can, before I have to send her out into the world to try to avoid all the awfulness that seems to be always lurking nearby.
She took her first steps on her birthday, just a little shuffle towards me, after we had taken her 12-month cupcake pictures in the backyard. The next day was her birthday party, and just as guests were coming, Travis went to take her picture next to the Happy Birthday sign, and she decided to walk over to me instead! So we have picture documentation of her first steps. Since then, she's gotten to the point where she generally prefers walking, although if she's upset or in a hurry or someplace weird (long grass in the backyard) she'll resort to crawling. She has given up morning nap, but has held on to nighttime nursing. She tried to get me to nurse her to sleep for nap a few days ago, by pulling up on my shirt and spitting out her pacifier, whimpering pathetically. But I didn't cave! We can't be adding feedings back in! Although it's tempting, considering her tummy troubles as of late. I don't know what will help, but breastmilk couldn't hurt. So that's the other reason I'm not arguing with her wanting to nurse at night. My suspicion is that she may not be getting enough fat in her diet. I read that a toddler is supposed to get 30% of her calories from fat, and since she's eating all the same food as the rest of us, I doubt she's getting that (heaven forbid we put mayo or butter on anything!!). This is another reason they say to give toddlers whole milk and not anything lighter, but I took it a step further and have been feeding her straight-up half & half. Why not?? :) If you've gotta learn to like drinking something else, why go with anything except pure deliciousness? And she's coming around to it, so I'd call it a success. Especially if I get her back to producing logs again. It's been a very, very stinky week.
Anyway, enough about poop and more about my delightful daughters. Clara is very good at making her preferences known through shrieks and grunts, and is still very much attached to me, and to her pacifier. Audrey is having a fantastic time being 3 and a half. She seems to float through each day, happy and smiley and telling me every so often that she loves me, which is nice although I think it's probably more just a sign of her general contentment. Tucking her in at night, I marvel at how beautiful and happy she is, and how could another day of her 4th year be over and gone?? Emily asked Travis to take her training wheels off her bike, so that was a pretty special Father's Day for him. She can really go, now! Audrey can still coast down the hill on her balance bike, and they look so happy and carefree, sailing down the sidewalk in their cool summer dresses (backless, of course!).
They are signed up to go to a summer class next week, about fun science stuff. I am pretty excited for them. It had better be cool, considering how expensive it was, but I love the idea that they can go together (it's for 3-5YO's) so I splurged. They are having a great time now that summer is really here. I got out the wading pool tonight, and they all 3 enjoyed that and Clara's water table that she got for her birthday. Our backyard is so shady and pleasant on summer evenings, that it makes it easy to just chill out together. I also signed them up for swimming lessons during the first two weeks in July, so we'll see how that goes! Emily has almost no experience swimming in anything other than a wading pool, and she's very "first child" cautious. But on the heels of the bike success, maybe it'll go really well!
Travis has continued his crazy work schedule, with this week and a few weeks ago dedicated to people who are in town from all over the world. Due to Des Moines' lack of public transportation, he gets to shuttle them around to places, and shmooze with them at I-Cubs games and other events. tonight he is on his way back from Moline with another group of them. He was gone by 6:15 this morning and won't be home until 10:00, probably. He said he might take tomorrow afternoon off to spend some time at home, but it's a crock that he'll probably actually take vacation to do that. But he loves his job, and will be going to Singapore in early July so I guess a person would say that it's all going well. We realized, a week after preschool had ended, that one of Emily's friends in her class that she talked about all the time had the last name of Israel - yeah, the granddaughter of the president of JDF. But Travis is in such a position that he actually had a chance to talk with him, and chatted with how Emily is friends with his granddaughter. I am so impressed with Travis, professionally (and other ways too, of course!). I think it's really incredible what he's done with his career and how he manages to make me and the girls a priority, too. We have such a happy little life here.
I should dedicate at least a paragraph to the major family event, in The Greek Wedding! Travis's brother got married to a wonderful girl, and they had an amazing party to celebrate. Her family is Greek, so the ceremony was in the Greek Orthodox church and it was really interesting. There was a lot of repetition (3x, for Father, Son, Holy Spirit) so it seemed a little OCD at times but mostly just adventurous. Mark's godfather is a retired Catholic priest, so he participated in the ceremony by providing a blessing for the couple. It was one of many, many emotionally moving moments on the weekend. The girls did a fantastic job as flower girls -- I sure hope the photographer got some pictures of them because I only have a few from snapshots that other people took and while they're cute, they're not truly representative of how adorable they were. I wasn't in documentation mode that day, or I would've at least gotten my phone out and snapped a picture of all those curls I worked on... oh well, it was definitely not the most important part of the weekend, by far. :) It was really fun to welcome Lea to the family, and to feel like truly one of the welcomers. Over the past 10 years, I have truly gained a family, and she's lucky she gets to do the same!
To be honest, it's been hard to want to blog lately. It took weeks to get a replacement computer, and it's not like I didn't have internet access, I just didn't want to be using equipment that reminded me of that stupid, stupid blunder of leaving the back door unlocked. And there have been a few stressful things in my family of origin... my sister's ex-husband took her to court for contempt, as a violation of the divorce decree because she wrote the wrong date on a tax form. That asshole spent thousands of dollars in attorney fees, and forced her to do the same, to get a ruling that said she had to pay his $80 CPA fee because he's too dumb to know how to file for an extension from the IRS -- which is FREE. Forunately, the court realized that the other 2 things he was charging her with were completely bogus, but she still had to pay the $80 to him, plus $500 of his attorney fees. That stress is over, at least, but it stirs everything up again, and for as anxious as it makes Jenny, it makes her girls, too. And my mom was a lunatic for a few days - who can blame her, right?? The court could have found her guilty on 3 counts, with a punishment of 90 days in jail. So yeah, Mom was out of her head, and I was spending time talking her down, going through Jenny's emails trying to prove that Jenny had done her very best in the situation, and talking her through what to discuss with her attorney, reassuring her that the $580 fine is money well spent to make it go away, and all the other emotional turmoil on it. It's exhausting. Why can't their divorce just be done and stay done?
And I don't know if it's appropriate to mention here, because some of you personally know the peopel involved, but I think if you're reading this I can trust you to be discrete with the information. It's going to get out at some point, anyway. My sister-in-law told me, on my birthday, that she has been cheating on my brother, for at least 10 years, their entire relationship, with many many different guys. She has been formally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a misleading name because it implies that it's on the line between sick and well, but it's not, it's the border between two different kinds of mentally ill. And the diagnosis fits, now that her behavior is coming to light. She is apparently a tremendous liar, which is a testimony to her incredible intelligence, and armed with that she has been able to nearly function through her adult life. Until she finally got cornered into a mess she couldn't lie her way out of. In coming clean to her therapist, it's been a very ugly unraveling of lies. There are a lot of details more to it than that, but basically they are separating, with a divorce probably on the horizon (she has moved out of the house, so Dan lives there with their son). Personally, I am crushed because I have truly loved her like a sister. I feel personally betrayed and distrustful and... then guilty because she's truly ill, and am I turning my back on her, because the Kerri I loved is still there, somewhere, separate from the BPD? Or do I betray Dan by wishing I could support Kerri too? And then more guilt because really it's not about me, it's about Dan and his son. I have my own happy little life with delightful daughters and amazing husband, but, I can't begin to dive in to sort it out... it's just too much to digest, at times. The contrast between my life and my siblings' lives is blinding, really. I've been trying to be supportive of Dan as best I can, but there's not much I can do at this point. There's also the guilt that I have supported Jenny constantly throughout her divorce, aware of every action she took, whereas Dan found out about Kerri's history and diagnosis nearly a year ago, and I only just found out about it, and there's nothing I can do anyway.
So, I didn't know if I should include this kind of thing here... but it's what's going on in my life. I love my brother, and it stings to see this happen to him, just as much as it does to see Jenny dealing with her things. In the ultimate of ironies, Jenny's ex has been insisting for years that she has BPD and should be kept from her children because she's so mentally ill. He even spent most of his time on the stand during the contempt hearing railing about how controlling and awful she is, though it had nothing to do with what he was formally accusing her of doing. She absolutely does not have BPD, and it's clear to see when compared to someone who does. It is the most awful of awful things that I can now make such a direct comparison.
When I was 13, my dad's sister got married, and she was the last of my dad's siblings to do so. I remember thinking that then I finally had 4 aunts and 4 uncles on that side of the family. Two weeks after the wedding, my dad's brother died, so it was back to 4 aunts and 3 uncles. The math was a sufficient way for me to wrap my 13-year-old mind around such events. So now, at 33, I have basically gained and lost a sister-in-law in the same month. It's just too weird, and the math doesn't help.
So when Clara wants to stay attached to me, and snuggle and have me hold her, I really don't mind at all. I'd say it's therapy for both of us. I'm going to love her and protect her while I can, before I have to send her out into the world to try to avoid all the awfulness that seems to be always lurking nearby.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
May!
A lot has happened in the past month. It's FINALLY spring, after having our last snow on May 2, 3, and 4. Emily keeps asking me when summer will get here and I've had to tell her that spring has to come first!!
So, the biggest thing was that our house was broken in to again. When Travis was in Luxembourg for a week, and i had the stomach flu, I decided that I'd take the kids to Target to pick up a few things. It was incredibly bad timing, because as I was leaving, I saw a group of 6 black teenagers across the street, complete with baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts. I told myself not to be prejudiced, they're just bored kids, and went to the store. Meanwhile, they came into the backyard, noticed the back door was unlocked, and helped themselves to my brand new iphone that i had left charging on the counter, and my laptop, digital cameras, and Emily's backpack to carry it all in. Plus some oatmeal cream pies and granola bars. They did not take a bag of change (what kind of dumb burglar doesn't take a bag of money?!), and they weren't able to find anything stashed under my mattress upstairs (who does that, really?). The cops saw these kids shortly afterwards, but they had stashed all the stuff in a neighbor's garbage bin, and so without having anything on their persons, they couldn't hold them. They did bring them in for interviews later, and two of the kids admitted to it, and said they came back for the things in the trash bins later, so it's long gone. So that was totally sucky. I am writing this post from our old laptop, which we had upgraded from back in November, and I am reminded of why we replaced it, because it's hot, noisy, heavy, and hard to type on.
Clara has changed tremendously in the past month. She understands more and more of the things we talk to her about, and she is a really, really good eater! I generally make three plates of food with equal amounts on it, and Clara eats almost as much as Emily but definitely more than Audrey. It's amazing! we're down to one nursing a day, at nighttime, since she refused her morning and then her afternoon nursing sessions, just didn't care to dive in. I'm so sad my last little baby is almost done! I am trying to hold back from calling her Baby so much... but I love calling her that. Such mixed emotions! She is also getting pretty good at standing up on her own, balancing for quite a while, especially if she is engrossed in what she's holding, not thinking about how hard it is to stand up. She's very vocal and increasingly opinionated, especially when her sisters are assaulting her with love. And she is very much attached to me! What a mama's girl!! She likes her dad just fine, but she has strong opinions about where I should be... how dare I run downstairs to grab something from the freezer!! Or shut the bathroom door for a minute!! She scolds me pretty good, and I just laugh at her. :)
Emily is almost done with preschool! Her class invited all the moms in for a mother's day "tea" on thursday this week, and it was so very, very fun. Emily was so excited, and acted so grown up. she offered me the chair at the table, and then offered to pour me some lemonade. We frosted cookies together, admired the lovely "vase" that she had decorated (a water bottle with bits of colored scrap bits glued to it :) ). Then we held hands walking to the car and drove home together. It was lovely! Then when we got home, Audrey had a surprise for me too. Amanda had spent the week working on a project for mother's day with the girls! It's a canvas totebag that she helped them decorate with puffy paint - their handprints in a flower on one side, and the girls decorating a letter of MOM on the other side. It was so cool! I know mother's day isn't even until tomorrow, but I'm already content, I'd say! Back to Emily... she and I have been reading more chapter books recently, including Little House on the Prairie (again) and Betsy-Tacy. It's crazy to think she's old enough for this stuff yet, but she really enjoys it! It won't be long before she dives right into them herself, I think. she's pretty excited for Kindergarten. She participated in their "visit" day, which was really just a way to get the kids into the building and entertain them for a few minutes while they told the parents some information about what to expect.
Audrey sounded out the word "tree" yesterday. And she's been listening to her Wee Sing cassette tapes in the basement, seriously studying the songs and memorizing them. It's crazy how many songs she and emily know the words to now, although their interpretations of the words are funny. "Goom-bye-yarn, my love, Goom-bye-yarn, Oh Loh, Goom-bye-yarn." that's gotta be my favorite, but there are lots more. They can sing Shenandoah all the way through... these are not easy songs! So fun.
I should go get in the shower now while I have the chance. I doubt Clara will be napping in the morning much longer, as she has started experimenting with fighting it off once in a while. I'll admit, it will be a relief in some ways, that we can go out and do stuff in the mornings and not be so tied to the house, and then have maybe a longer respite in the afternoon. She only naps 45 min in the morning and 90 minutes in the afternoon if I'm extremely lucky. She's sleeping through the night well now, though, thanks to her piggy nature at suppertime. So, no complaints there!!
So, the biggest thing was that our house was broken in to again. When Travis was in Luxembourg for a week, and i had the stomach flu, I decided that I'd take the kids to Target to pick up a few things. It was incredibly bad timing, because as I was leaving, I saw a group of 6 black teenagers across the street, complete with baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts. I told myself not to be prejudiced, they're just bored kids, and went to the store. Meanwhile, they came into the backyard, noticed the back door was unlocked, and helped themselves to my brand new iphone that i had left charging on the counter, and my laptop, digital cameras, and Emily's backpack to carry it all in. Plus some oatmeal cream pies and granola bars. They did not take a bag of change (what kind of dumb burglar doesn't take a bag of money?!), and they weren't able to find anything stashed under my mattress upstairs (who does that, really?). The cops saw these kids shortly afterwards, but they had stashed all the stuff in a neighbor's garbage bin, and so without having anything on their persons, they couldn't hold them. They did bring them in for interviews later, and two of the kids admitted to it, and said they came back for the things in the trash bins later, so it's long gone. So that was totally sucky. I am writing this post from our old laptop, which we had upgraded from back in November, and I am reminded of why we replaced it, because it's hot, noisy, heavy, and hard to type on.
Clara has changed tremendously in the past month. She understands more and more of the things we talk to her about, and she is a really, really good eater! I generally make three plates of food with equal amounts on it, and Clara eats almost as much as Emily but definitely more than Audrey. It's amazing! we're down to one nursing a day, at nighttime, since she refused her morning and then her afternoon nursing sessions, just didn't care to dive in. I'm so sad my last little baby is almost done! I am trying to hold back from calling her Baby so much... but I love calling her that. Such mixed emotions! She is also getting pretty good at standing up on her own, balancing for quite a while, especially if she is engrossed in what she's holding, not thinking about how hard it is to stand up. She's very vocal and increasingly opinionated, especially when her sisters are assaulting her with love. And she is very much attached to me! What a mama's girl!! She likes her dad just fine, but she has strong opinions about where I should be... how dare I run downstairs to grab something from the freezer!! Or shut the bathroom door for a minute!! She scolds me pretty good, and I just laugh at her. :)
Emily is almost done with preschool! Her class invited all the moms in for a mother's day "tea" on thursday this week, and it was so very, very fun. Emily was so excited, and acted so grown up. she offered me the chair at the table, and then offered to pour me some lemonade. We frosted cookies together, admired the lovely "vase" that she had decorated (a water bottle with bits of colored scrap bits glued to it :) ). Then we held hands walking to the car and drove home together. It was lovely! Then when we got home, Audrey had a surprise for me too. Amanda had spent the week working on a project for mother's day with the girls! It's a canvas totebag that she helped them decorate with puffy paint - their handprints in a flower on one side, and the girls decorating a letter of MOM on the other side. It was so cool! I know mother's day isn't even until tomorrow, but I'm already content, I'd say! Back to Emily... she and I have been reading more chapter books recently, including Little House on the Prairie (again) and Betsy-Tacy. It's crazy to think she's old enough for this stuff yet, but she really enjoys it! It won't be long before she dives right into them herself, I think. she's pretty excited for Kindergarten. She participated in their "visit" day, which was really just a way to get the kids into the building and entertain them for a few minutes while they told the parents some information about what to expect.
Audrey sounded out the word "tree" yesterday. And she's been listening to her Wee Sing cassette tapes in the basement, seriously studying the songs and memorizing them. It's crazy how many songs she and emily know the words to now, although their interpretations of the words are funny. "Goom-bye-yarn, my love, Goom-bye-yarn, Oh Loh, Goom-bye-yarn." that's gotta be my favorite, but there are lots more. They can sing Shenandoah all the way through... these are not easy songs! So fun.
I should go get in the shower now while I have the chance. I doubt Clara will be napping in the morning much longer, as she has started experimenting with fighting it off once in a while. I'll admit, it will be a relief in some ways, that we can go out and do stuff in the mornings and not be so tied to the house, and then have maybe a longer respite in the afternoon. She only naps 45 min in the morning and 90 minutes in the afternoon if I'm extremely lucky. She's sleeping through the night well now, though, thanks to her piggy nature at suppertime. So, no complaints there!!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Letter to Emily
Emily brought a note home from school asking us to write a letter to Emily. The teacher will read it out loud to the class during large group time, one kid per day. I like what I wrote so I'm posting it here.
Dear Emily,
I know
a sparkly little girl with golden blond hair and gray eyes. She has two fun little sisters that she loves
very much. She has a dad who reads books
in silly ways, and a mom who makes her yummy lunches.
This imaginative
little girl has fairies and butterflies hanging in her room, and her name that’s
hidden behind her bunk bed. She loves to
do projects and create new and beautiful things for the wall above her desk. She bounces on her toes when she runs, and
flies through the air when she swings.
This brave little girl likes to
ride behind her dad on the trail-a-bike, as scary and exciting as it is! She knows where everything in her house is, and
she likes to offer good suggestions to solve problems. She can make breakfast for herself, and even
for her sisters, too! When it
thunderstorms during the day, she makes funny faces so she isn’t scared by the
thunder, and at night she knows that hiding under the covers helps, too.
This
amazing girl can sing beautifully and memorize poetry. She is kind and caring to her mom when she
has been awake all night with the baby, and to her sisters when they are
feeling sad or need help. She is so fun
that all of her cousins love to have her come to their houses to play. She has a pretty smile that she wears all the
time, along with her favorite beautiful dresses and hair that she styles
herself. She asks clever questions that
keep her parents on their toes, and every day she does cool new things that
make them so very proud.
She is
a sweetheart, and I love her very, very much.
Do you know her? Of course! It’s YOU!
Love,
Mom
Friday, March 29, 2013
Wow!!
I'm pretty pumped - I need a safe place to brag about this. I don't want to be one of those in-your-face moms with everything her kids do, but this is my blog and if you are reading this, you know that I'm totally just gushing in amazement my kids, cuz they're awesome!
Audrey can sound out words, both to read them and to write them. Yesterday, Amanda told me that she was picking out magnet letters and spelling out 3-letter words that she'd suggest. She suggested BOX, and Audrey picked up the X first, and then sat and thought a while. Amanda was cueing her with "Buh, buh..." and Audrey chimes in, "I want to spell xylophone." She was a little upset because she couldn't find an I, because she had already used it in another word, so Amanda pointed out she really wanted a Y anyway. So she ended up spelling it "XYLFON". Not bad! Then she had sidewalk chalk out on the driveway, she drew a big V, and then announced she would spell violin. So she did! It's plain as day out on our driveway.
This morning, she and Travis were looking at a book of counting, which is more of an activity book than a reading book. He asked her if she knew a word, pointed to it, and she thought a while and announced, "Ten." She also read Six and Stop. And these are the words, not the numbers, she's reading. There's no sounding out loud, either, she's doing it all in her head.
Crazy! :)
Audrey can sound out words, both to read them and to write them. Yesterday, Amanda told me that she was picking out magnet letters and spelling out 3-letter words that she'd suggest. She suggested BOX, and Audrey picked up the X first, and then sat and thought a while. Amanda was cueing her with "Buh, buh..." and Audrey chimes in, "I want to spell xylophone." She was a little upset because she couldn't find an I, because she had already used it in another word, so Amanda pointed out she really wanted a Y anyway. So she ended up spelling it "XYLFON". Not bad! Then she had sidewalk chalk out on the driveway, she drew a big V, and then announced she would spell violin. So she did! It's plain as day out on our driveway.
This morning, she and Travis were looking at a book of counting, which is more of an activity book than a reading book. He asked her if she knew a word, pointed to it, and she thought a while and announced, "Ten." She also read Six and Stop. And these are the words, not the numbers, she's reading. There's no sounding out loud, either, she's doing it all in her head.
Crazy! :)
Saturday, March 23, 2013
March Madness
I suppose if I updated this more than once a month, it wouldn't be such a chore when I finally do, and end up as such a random spewing of facts. :)
Clara has changed SO much these past few weeks! It's like, now that she is mobile, she's working on other things. She did a really, really super job this past week going potty, which is absolutely crazy but pretty fun! She totally gets it, and seemed really upset when she did poop in her diaper after not having done that for ~5 days. I was washing diapers myself this week since we were out of town on pick-up day, so it definitely helped in that chore. :) I think the limiting factor for her is the personnel, since it seems that if anyone except me takes her she gets a little freaked. Which - so what? She's a BABY. She's always in a diaper, so what's the big deal? So I've decided to cooperate with her preference and be the only one taking her potty. Anyone else who happens to change her can just change her like they would any normal baby, and we should all be happy!
Another totally fantastic thing is that she has figured out how to user her fingers to communicate. It's such a big "click" in her mind! so fun! We've been working on her to make the sign for "milk," although it's water in her sippy cup so we're calling it just "drink." I think she has interpreted it to mean, "Gimme," however, as she uses it as her response to just about any question you ask her. :) The next most helpful sign she could learn is "all done," then "more," and maybe "potty" someday but again, whatever. Anyway, the little fingers going back and forth are tremendously cute and I am loving it!!
Travis was in Brazil all last week, and he said he thinks Clara has developed a whole bunch of personality while he was gone. I have to agree. She is getting more and more expressive, just trying different emotions on for size. I think she likes the acoustics of our dining room, because she has resumed her shrieking now that we're home from Rockford, where we hid out for the week. I swear she didn't shriek at all last week, but tonight she was at it again.
So yes, the trip to Rockford. it was really fun and really exhausting, totally worth it but still a big chore. It was ridiculously cold outside, and Clara was her normal miserable sleeper so I'm exhausted, but there were many high points, too. I was able to arrange special 1 on 1 time for each girl with each grandparent throughout the week, which was a really nice thing for all involved. My mom read a huge stack of books to the girls throughout the week (she swears that Emily didn't have her fingers in her mouth at any time she was reading to her, but this afternoon I didn't even get through the first page of a book and she was chewing on the back of her hands). Anyway, my mom also got a kick out of Clara putting empty buckets and toy containers over her head, then talking to sample the acoustics. It was quite the game for such a little person! It was fun to see Clara get more comfortable at their house as the week went on. She spent probably half of her playtime standing up at the piano, trying out the keys. She loooooved the piano. One time, I had her on my lap, playing a few notes here and there as she was playing too, and she repeatedly took my hands off the keyboard, and then finally turned around and pushed my face away, as if to say, "Mom! Leave me alone! I am playing!" My dad said she did just the same thing to him, too! Funny kid!
Audrey has been a little charmer lately. It seems like my kids each take turns doing fits and spurts of amazing development. The past month hasn't really been notable for her, which is nice because her stages of real change are usually pretty hard to handle. She's happy, singing, snuggly and beautiful, learning like crazy about whatever comes her way, and just enjoying being 3. She colored a picture of a rainbow, for St. Patrick's Day, and we're not sure how she figured this out, but she put exactly the right colors in the right order. There wasn't any rainbow for her to copy (and that's not her style anyway), and when I asked her how she decided which color to put where, she told me she started with red, and that orange belonged next to it, and yellow belong next to orange... I'm not sure that's what preschool teachers mean when they work on kids knowing their colors!
Emily had a lot of shining moments up in Rockford. She was thoughtful and considerate of her sisters and her grandparents. She told amazingly detailed facts about dinosaurs and rockets that she learned in school. she did puzzles and sequencing activities, showcased her amazing scissor skills (practically scherenschnitte!), and even tried out new ways to poke around on the piano. And she played happily with her sisters, which while it wasn't tear-free 100% of the time, it really was far beyond what kids that age generally are able to work out on their own. My mom taught preschool for many years, so of course has a good idea what it takes for a child to be considered Kindergarten-ready. Emily's teacher of course recommended that she's ready for Kindergarten, no surprise there, but there are a lot of things that even Audrey fits the criteria for K-readiness. Emily is so far beyond it, I wonder if she's going to feel like Kindergarten is a good fit. I have not drilled her with academic readiness; teachers look for things like straight-up reading skills (sight words), ability to count by 2's or by 5's, and other similar repeat-this-task skills for goals for the Kindergarten year. I think Emily will enjoy learning these things at school... and then wonder what to do the rest of the year. I could teach her these things over the summer, if I really wanted to pursue grade acceleration as an option, and she would then probably stand out as a good candidate. I'm really not leaning that way for her; her inclination is to focus on getting a handle on her situation before making her move. Emily's teacher commented at conferences that she started the year very timid, taking her time analyzing her surroundings, and now that she's comfortable she kind of rules the place, with great confidence and lots of friends. I think throwing her into 1st grade would be too much of a change for her to feel confident that she's totally in-the-know of her surroundings. She COULD do it, and be totally fine academically, but I don't think that emotionally it's a good fit for her. The challenge then is to keep her academically interested within her grade level, which I'm realizing is something that I'll need to advocate for her quite a bit and I am not at all sure how to do it. I sure hate using my first kid as my guinea pig. Maybe I'll have things figured out for Audrey, but she's a different story entirely. I've got a while before I really have to think about school for her, but she is so ready to jump into anything, and so academically ready because of her exposure to things via Emily's learning, that moving up might really suit her... we shall see.
Anyway, regarding Emily, it was good to talk with my mom and learn more about what 5YO expectations really are, because Emily is truly a fantastic kid; she only drives me crazy because I'm her mother, and that's her job. In the real world, she shines. Her A-game is amazing. At home she relaxes and it's not convenient for me, but that's not her fault and it's not wrong, at all. Today was really hard, with the letdown of being home again and the added exhaustion, and the headache that I had too. We definitely had a hard day. But I guess it's just Emily's turn to be the kid that's driving me nuts, right?? The biggest thing lately: Emily absolutely cannot leave Clara alone. Now that she's pulling herself to standing on things, Emily thinks she needs to come up behind her, lift her up, and carry her wherever she wants her. Then if Clara is then crying because she's been moved away from what she wants to be doing, then Emily cradles her on her lap and tries to get her to stop. Well, she's really way too big to do that, almost 20 pounds now! Emily even managed to get Clara her out of her crib this morning, before I was even out of bed! (Give me a chance, kid!!) I have talked with her, seriously, every single day this week about how she could hurt Clara by accident, and I don't want either of my girls to get hurt, or for Emily to feel bad about hurting Clara when she didn't mean to. She absolutely will not stop and it is driving me crazy!!! Add that to the constant fingers/hands/toys/plates/countertops/random-object-at-face-level in her mouth, AND her insistence on starting everything she says to me by whining, "Mooooommm?? How come (something she already knows but wants me to repeat for some damn reason)??" Yup, definitely Emily's turn to be the irritant.
Travis is also gone in April for a trip to Luxembourg. It's a little shorter this time - 5 days instead of 7 - but I'm still planning to get backup help somehow. I don't think I'll be able to skip town again, since Emily is in school, but maybe I'll take vacation... we'll see. It's really disappointing to have to look forward to that, and also a 2-day trip to Miami at the beginning of April, because once I get through those things, we'll be almost to the end of the schoolyear, getting ready for summer! If the snow would just melt already, and quit coming down, I think I'd be more ready to think about it!
Clara has changed SO much these past few weeks! It's like, now that she is mobile, she's working on other things. She did a really, really super job this past week going potty, which is absolutely crazy but pretty fun! She totally gets it, and seemed really upset when she did poop in her diaper after not having done that for ~5 days. I was washing diapers myself this week since we were out of town on pick-up day, so it definitely helped in that chore. :) I think the limiting factor for her is the personnel, since it seems that if anyone except me takes her she gets a little freaked. Which - so what? She's a BABY. She's always in a diaper, so what's the big deal? So I've decided to cooperate with her preference and be the only one taking her potty. Anyone else who happens to change her can just change her like they would any normal baby, and we should all be happy!
Another totally fantastic thing is that she has figured out how to user her fingers to communicate. It's such a big "click" in her mind! so fun! We've been working on her to make the sign for "milk," although it's water in her sippy cup so we're calling it just "drink." I think she has interpreted it to mean, "Gimme," however, as she uses it as her response to just about any question you ask her. :) The next most helpful sign she could learn is "all done," then "more," and maybe "potty" someday but again, whatever. Anyway, the little fingers going back and forth are tremendously cute and I am loving it!!
Travis was in Brazil all last week, and he said he thinks Clara has developed a whole bunch of personality while he was gone. I have to agree. She is getting more and more expressive, just trying different emotions on for size. I think she likes the acoustics of our dining room, because she has resumed her shrieking now that we're home from Rockford, where we hid out for the week. I swear she didn't shriek at all last week, but tonight she was at it again.
So yes, the trip to Rockford. it was really fun and really exhausting, totally worth it but still a big chore. It was ridiculously cold outside, and Clara was her normal miserable sleeper so I'm exhausted, but there were many high points, too. I was able to arrange special 1 on 1 time for each girl with each grandparent throughout the week, which was a really nice thing for all involved. My mom read a huge stack of books to the girls throughout the week (she swears that Emily didn't have her fingers in her mouth at any time she was reading to her, but this afternoon I didn't even get through the first page of a book and she was chewing on the back of her hands). Anyway, my mom also got a kick out of Clara putting empty buckets and toy containers over her head, then talking to sample the acoustics. It was quite the game for such a little person! It was fun to see Clara get more comfortable at their house as the week went on. She spent probably half of her playtime standing up at the piano, trying out the keys. She loooooved the piano. One time, I had her on my lap, playing a few notes here and there as she was playing too, and she repeatedly took my hands off the keyboard, and then finally turned around and pushed my face away, as if to say, "Mom! Leave me alone! I am playing!" My dad said she did just the same thing to him, too! Funny kid!
Audrey has been a little charmer lately. It seems like my kids each take turns doing fits and spurts of amazing development. The past month hasn't really been notable for her, which is nice because her stages of real change are usually pretty hard to handle. She's happy, singing, snuggly and beautiful, learning like crazy about whatever comes her way, and just enjoying being 3. She colored a picture of a rainbow, for St. Patrick's Day, and we're not sure how she figured this out, but she put exactly the right colors in the right order. There wasn't any rainbow for her to copy (and that's not her style anyway), and when I asked her how she decided which color to put where, she told me she started with red, and that orange belonged next to it, and yellow belong next to orange... I'm not sure that's what preschool teachers mean when they work on kids knowing their colors!
Emily had a lot of shining moments up in Rockford. She was thoughtful and considerate of her sisters and her grandparents. She told amazingly detailed facts about dinosaurs and rockets that she learned in school. she did puzzles and sequencing activities, showcased her amazing scissor skills (practically scherenschnitte!), and even tried out new ways to poke around on the piano. And she played happily with her sisters, which while it wasn't tear-free 100% of the time, it really was far beyond what kids that age generally are able to work out on their own. My mom taught preschool for many years, so of course has a good idea what it takes for a child to be considered Kindergarten-ready. Emily's teacher of course recommended that she's ready for Kindergarten, no surprise there, but there are a lot of things that even Audrey fits the criteria for K-readiness. Emily is so far beyond it, I wonder if she's going to feel like Kindergarten is a good fit. I have not drilled her with academic readiness; teachers look for things like straight-up reading skills (sight words), ability to count by 2's or by 5's, and other similar repeat-this-task skills for goals for the Kindergarten year. I think Emily will enjoy learning these things at school... and then wonder what to do the rest of the year. I could teach her these things over the summer, if I really wanted to pursue grade acceleration as an option, and she would then probably stand out as a good candidate. I'm really not leaning that way for her; her inclination is to focus on getting a handle on her situation before making her move. Emily's teacher commented at conferences that she started the year very timid, taking her time analyzing her surroundings, and now that she's comfortable she kind of rules the place, with great confidence and lots of friends. I think throwing her into 1st grade would be too much of a change for her to feel confident that she's totally in-the-know of her surroundings. She COULD do it, and be totally fine academically, but I don't think that emotionally it's a good fit for her. The challenge then is to keep her academically interested within her grade level, which I'm realizing is something that I'll need to advocate for her quite a bit and I am not at all sure how to do it. I sure hate using my first kid as my guinea pig. Maybe I'll have things figured out for Audrey, but she's a different story entirely. I've got a while before I really have to think about school for her, but she is so ready to jump into anything, and so academically ready because of her exposure to things via Emily's learning, that moving up might really suit her... we shall see.
Anyway, regarding Emily, it was good to talk with my mom and learn more about what 5YO expectations really are, because Emily is truly a fantastic kid; she only drives me crazy because I'm her mother, and that's her job. In the real world, she shines. Her A-game is amazing. At home she relaxes and it's not convenient for me, but that's not her fault and it's not wrong, at all. Today was really hard, with the letdown of being home again and the added exhaustion, and the headache that I had too. We definitely had a hard day. But I guess it's just Emily's turn to be the kid that's driving me nuts, right?? The biggest thing lately: Emily absolutely cannot leave Clara alone. Now that she's pulling herself to standing on things, Emily thinks she needs to come up behind her, lift her up, and carry her wherever she wants her. Then if Clara is then crying because she's been moved away from what she wants to be doing, then Emily cradles her on her lap and tries to get her to stop. Well, she's really way too big to do that, almost 20 pounds now! Emily even managed to get Clara her out of her crib this morning, before I was even out of bed! (Give me a chance, kid!!) I have talked with her, seriously, every single day this week about how she could hurt Clara by accident, and I don't want either of my girls to get hurt, or for Emily to feel bad about hurting Clara when she didn't mean to. She absolutely will not stop and it is driving me crazy!!! Add that to the constant fingers/hands/toys/plates/countertops/random-object-at-face-level in her mouth, AND her insistence on starting everything she says to me by whining, "Mooooommm?? How come (something she already knows but wants me to repeat for some damn reason)??" Yup, definitely Emily's turn to be the irritant.
Travis is also gone in April for a trip to Luxembourg. It's a little shorter this time - 5 days instead of 7 - but I'm still planning to get backup help somehow. I don't think I'll be able to skip town again, since Emily is in school, but maybe I'll take vacation... we'll see. It's really disappointing to have to look forward to that, and also a 2-day trip to Miami at the beginning of April, because once I get through those things, we'll be almost to the end of the schoolyear, getting ready for summer! If the snow would just melt already, and quit coming down, I think I'd be more ready to think about it!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Chug, chug, chug!
Clara is crawling!!
For the past few weeks, she's been reaching farther, trying out the stance, and thinking about bringing her knees along with her, and finally this past weekend she put it all together. And it's ADORABLE. She's a little bit methodical with it still, not a carefree prancing like Emily did, yet anyway. :) She keeps her knees so far underneath her that it's hard to see her moving them, so she seems like a little bug, chugging around. And she's SO pleased with herself. It's the best. Next up is walking, obviously, and she is well on her way as she is intent on pulling herself up to standing on just about anything that will take her weight. And then she'll be on her way to Kindergarten... or so it seems.
February has been a pretty nice month for us. We've been in a good routine together as a family of 5, enjoying evenings together and an outing here and there on the weekend. I switched projects at work, which is great because I had too much of a workload. Now I can go a day without checking work email, and not have 50 new emails waiting for me to respond to! It makes me feel so much more at ease at home, like I can be there because I'm supposed to be, and not trying to be two places at once.
Emily's parent-teacher conferences are next week. It'll be fun to see what she's been up to! I have to line up a babysitter again, which the girls enjoy and is a good idea so that we keep connections with a girl that we like. It's crazy to think that she's so close to going to school. She seems so grown up, but when she snuggles in my lap, she seems so very small, still. I've been looking at pictures from the past 5 years, at baby Audrey and 3YO Emily, and it helps me remember just how little they still are, that I can hold onto a little of that for a while. And cling tightly to my little baby, who is way too quickly on her way to little girlhood, too!!
For the past few weeks, she's been reaching farther, trying out the stance, and thinking about bringing her knees along with her, and finally this past weekend she put it all together. And it's ADORABLE. She's a little bit methodical with it still, not a carefree prancing like Emily did, yet anyway. :) She keeps her knees so far underneath her that it's hard to see her moving them, so she seems like a little bug, chugging around. And she's SO pleased with herself. It's the best. Next up is walking, obviously, and she is well on her way as she is intent on pulling herself up to standing on just about anything that will take her weight. And then she'll be on her way to Kindergarten... or so it seems.
February has been a pretty nice month for us. We've been in a good routine together as a family of 5, enjoying evenings together and an outing here and there on the weekend. I switched projects at work, which is great because I had too much of a workload. Now I can go a day without checking work email, and not have 50 new emails waiting for me to respond to! It makes me feel so much more at ease at home, like I can be there because I'm supposed to be, and not trying to be two places at once.
Emily's parent-teacher conferences are next week. It'll be fun to see what she's been up to! I have to line up a babysitter again, which the girls enjoy and is a good idea so that we keep connections with a girl that we like. It's crazy to think that she's so close to going to school. She seems so grown up, but when she snuggles in my lap, she seems so very small, still. I've been looking at pictures from the past 5 years, at baby Audrey and 3YO Emily, and it helps me remember just how little they still are, that I can hold onto a little of that for a while. And cling tightly to my little baby, who is way too quickly on her way to little girlhood, too!!
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