Monday, May 24, 2010

Birthdays and Baptism

We got Audrey dunked on Sunday, and according to her Grandma Sullivan, it was the most beautiful baptism she'd ever seen.  Audrey (and her sister and cousins) were dressed beautifully and behaved really well during the hour-long service leading up to her baptism, and then she smiled and was adorable during the baptism.  She tolerated everything really well, including being brought up and down the aisle for the congregation to look at her, and gazed with those big blue eyes as one of the choir members sang "God loves you" directly to her.  She typically gets very still and concentrates whenever she hears music, so to have this command performance, well, you could just tell by the look on her face she loved it.  Mommo and Poppo stood up to introduce us to the congregation, which was very special for me.  About the only person missing from the event was Travis's brother, which I guess just ends up being another incentive for him to not end up in his current situation again.  Anyway, it was really beautiful, meaningful, and loving, and even though it was a tiny bit stressful to get up in front of everyone, it was really great. Since it was Pentacost Sunday, the church's "jazz ensemble" played instead of an organ, and it was certainly festive!  Emily is probably going to be confused when we go to church and there isn't all of her grandparents and cousins, and saxophones and tubas there.  She seems to be picking up some religion at her daycare, because today while she was eating her snack in the dining room I overheard some chatter and asked what she was thinking about.  She said, "I thinking about praying."  I asked who she was praying for, and she said for her friends.  Then she said she had a friend Jesus, and I smiled and said that was really nice.  I wonder the two-year-old mind thinks Jesus is, but she seemed happy and I love to see her thinking about other people.  What a nice girl!  Tonight she played piano for me, and it was really, really fun.  She stopped to kiss me on the cheek a couple of times, and said I'm "so nice." Not much could make me happier!

So, anyway, after the service, we went to a park to have lunch, and that's about when my nerves gave out and exhaustion set in, which is a bad combo when hosting a gathering of family.  Audrey had had a pretty hard night the night before because it was so hot, and we didn't have the A/C on yet, so she was tired and I was tired (Travis claims he was too, but one night of being awakened once - not even getting out of bed - doesn't count). Emily bonked her chin on a picnic table pretty good, so it seemed like I spent the entire gathering trying to end the tears of one girl or another.  Audrey took little catnaps where she could, but every time she woke up someplace unfamiliar she'd scream and be hard to calm down.  It was hot and windy, and it took me 45 minutes to get my lunch eaten because I had to keep taking care of kids -- and then I bit the inside of my cheek AGAIN and it bled and it became just too hard to keep eating so I gave up.   I wanted to take her picture with her cake, but she was so unstable on the picnic table (not that she's a great sitter anyway) that she fell over backwards and hit her head, so she screamed some more.  Then, I went to change Audrey's diaper while she laid down in the stroller on her comfy outfit, and she peed all over it.  I lost it, between the stress of the day and the frustration with trying to get my lunch eaten, and then the laughter that ensued from everyone, it was awful.  I know there's nothing else to do in that situation but laugh, but I didn't like feeling like I was on display for everyone to witness every roadblock thrown in my way. I don't know if it was the wind or what, but certain family members couldn't understand me at all and I had to keep repeating and shouting at them to be heard.  The outfit that she soaked was the only change of clothes that I'd brought for her, so even though she has tons of cute summer things that I've been waiting for her to wear, she spent the rest of the day in an ugly onesie that I had stashed in the car just in case. Travis was finally helpful by taking her away from the shelter and sitting with her until she fell asleep, but that's about all he did to manage the situation.  He had been great help getting everything to the park, but once people started eating he just shut down and didn't do anything.  I cried a little, but mostly I was just angry, frustrated, and exhausted.  But everyone else had a great time and was very supportive of me, and Audrey received very thoughtful and lovely baptism gifts.  Emily and her cousins played on the playground and the sand volleyball court (a vast expanse of sand!! what fun!!), so they were happy.  Everyone enjoyed talking, and the food was good, so besides me being a basketcase and not being able to manage my overtired state or my exhausted children, it went just fine. 

Oh yeah, and I turned 30 last week.  We did nothing, except I didn't have to cook supper that night.  Travis is turning 29 on Friday, so he's taking the day off to go biking and then going to a bachelor party that night, and on Saturday night, we're having his co-workers over to celebrate.  I suppose we could've done something for my birthday, but I didn't feel like planning it and doing all the work for it, especially when it seems I have to do all the work for his birthday so soon after.

Someday I'll escape this sea of sleeplessness and not be such a snarky, unpleasant person. Maybe.  I'm told I used to be fun, and I know tons of really great people, so it's probably true.  Let's hope my 30's are all uphill, and that these minor woes turn out to be the worst of my issues!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Amazing Emily

I meant to include this in the last posting, but I'm kind of glad to do it separately because there's more to add tonight.  Apparently I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, because Emily is sure a big helper when it comes to food prep.  It's kind of annoying when I'm doing lots of chopping or frying or dealing with hot pans, because she wants to help and I just can't risk her getting burned or cut, but otherwise it's lots of fun.  We came home from grocery shopping yesterday and I had to feed Audrey right when we walked in the door, and Emily started going through the bags.  I just held my breath, thinking that it's just food and I can probably fix it all later, but she actually put things in the right places!!  She put the yogurt and jam on the right shelf in the fridge (got her stepstool to help!) and with my verbal direction, she put the cheese and tortillas in the right drawer, and had started putting things into the pantry by the time I was done feeding Audrey.  When I joined in to help her, she had already put the 5-lb bag of flour right next to the one already on the bottom shelf, which had to be hard for her little arms to do!!  I was so impressed!! 

So, tonight, while I was cooking, she decided to start playing in the silverware drawer, and again I just let her play... I was too lazy to find something else for her to do!  She went into the dining room and put a placemat at each of place, and I could hear her singing "One to mom, one to dad, one to me, one to Audrey!!"  She only has one preposition that she uses, so everything is "to" these days.  Then she got forks and spoons and again put one at each place, still talking to herself.  Isn't that great?  Not only was it a big help, but I think that "one for each" is one of those math concepts that's taught in preschool and stuff.  It was so neat to see her applying it as part of something fun.

Now if I could just get her to fall asleep before 9 PM at night.  These days, we get to choose between an easy naptime after a lousy morning, or no naptime with a lousy evening and easy bedtime.  Ugh!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Vomit rookies!

I'm going to list out the things that Travis and I learned Sunday night after Emily contracted a stomach bug. If you have small children and have not yet gone through this, they're probably good things to know!

1)  If she throws up once, she's gonna throw up again.  Get a bucket!
2)  If you have a plastic-backed mattress pad, you should always have that on the kid's bed instead of in the closet as a spare.
3)  If she says she's hungry just after she's thrown up, that just means that more is on the way.
4)  Put her hair in a ponytail after the first incident so she only has to get her hair washed the first time.
5)  Towels are great to put on top of pillows and sheets because they're easier to clean than a full set of sheets but still nice to sleep on.  Also, lots of smaller blankets instead of large comforters are easier to wash.
6)  Pepto-Bismol can't be given to kids under 12 because it contains aspirin-like drugs (we didn't learn this the hard way, don't worry).  The pharmacist told Travis (at 11:30 at night) that they don't carry the kid-version of Pepto because it's basically the same stuff as Tums. 
7)  Emily likes Tums.
8)  She won't necessarily wake up after she's puked, as evidenced by the small amount I found in her bed in the morning.

Travis and I were going upstairs to cut his hair at about 9:30 Sunday night, and we instead found that Emily was trying to figure out why her bed was suddenly full of food.  We had encouraged her to try one bite of asparagus at supper, and it was sitting squarely on her shoulder while undigested pork and bread were mashed in her hair.  Poor girl!  It's gotta be a strange experience if you've never thrown up before!  I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out if it was something I had fed her that made her sick, but in the morning we found out that her daycare provider and her daughter were both up doing the same activities at the same time, so it must've been a bug she picked up.  I'm almost relieved, since I hadn't been able to figure out what would make her throw up. 

But, yeah, we stumbled through the cleanup, and once she was warm and dry and settling down, she snuggled into my arms and said, very sadly and concerned-ly, "I had chicken all on me!!"  How do you not laugh at that???  Especially since we had just done such a stupid job of cleaning up, over and over.  The third time she yakked, we got it in the bucket, so we were 1 out of 4 on the evening.

Audrey is sitting up really well on her own now, and we just came back from her 6-month checkup.  I'm hoping she reacts well to her shots again like she has the first two times.  She's 95th percentile for head size and height, and 90th for weight at just over 18 lbs.  I'm glad she's proportionally sized, but what a big girl!!  She's had oatmeal cereal 3 times now, and she seems to like it pretty well although she needs some practice of actually getting the food down.  Weird to think that learning to eat actually takes practice!  So far, she seems to enjoy the experience.  Baby Emily HATED the rice cereal, so going with oatmeal to start seems to have been a smart move.  It's pretty cute how excited she gets, but we'll see if she's still willing to humor us when we start things like carrots and applesauce.

We had a great Mothers' Day (up until the puking started), with a trip to the park and a picnic lunch.  We had a quiet Saturday at home, too, so it was a great weekend.  Yesterday, Travis stayed home with the girls in the afternoon since Emily was sick, and I went to work which wasn't too bad either.  I got a new project, and on Wednesday and Friday I'll start two different projects - gah!  I swear they forget I'm only there half-time.  But I got an email from someone who may have a new position available for me, and he said in a couple of weeks he should know more.  I hope that pans out, but it's nice that it's going to take a little while because Travis's job transition will for sure take that long, and he's getting antsy (to put it nicely).  If my stuff develops before his, well, let's just say it's best that it doesn't!!

Friday, May 7, 2010

200

Wow, post #200.  I wonder who really thinks I've got that much important stuff to share. :)

We spent most of this week in Rockford visiting my parents because Travis was in Phoenix at a conference.  He couldn't really tell me much of the subject matter (or if he did, I found it so dry that I didn't pay attention), although he did say that for the designated networking time he had signed up for the "tequila tasting" session.  Apparently he had a good time!

We did, too.  The girls did great on the road, and Emily went the whole visit without any accidents at all.  (I think we are in the midst of another two steps forward!)  My dad had found some newborn kittens in the barn, and he was excited to show them to Emily, but he hadn't fed the cows before we went out there so Emily was pretty freaked out by all the mooing that was echoing around the barn.  It was pretty creepy if you didn't know that the cows couldn't come in there.  I don't think she understands that the fencing will prevent them from coming close to her, but for now I think it's fine if she's afraid of the cows because I prefer that to overconfidence!  But she was very brave, and after we got back into the house, she talked about the kitties nonstop.  Pretty cute!  My mom was amazed at how well Emily can sing, and it seems like they spent nearly the entire visit singing songs together.  Audrey was a little uncertain when we first got there, but warmed up nicely.  I had broken the leg off her playgym while loading it into the van, so she didn't get to play with it for a day while my dad glued it back together.  As he was snapping it back together, she was sitting on his lap and could hardly contain herself, she was so excited to see that gym!  Finally my mom had to hold her while he fiddled with it, and she jumped and squeaked and jumped until he got it ready for her.  She grinned and grabbed her feet, and we all went and did other things for probably half an hour until she needed somebody around again.  She loooooves those feet!

And, her second tooth came in!  I had a couple of awful days while it was breaking through, since she would only nurse off one side, and she wouldn't eat much either because of the pain.  I ended up pumping 4 oz while I was reading a magazine (after she had eaten, mind you), and overfilled the bottle before I knew it.  I was in some supreme pain, but so was Audrey, so I suppose that's fair.  She was soooo happy and hungry when it finally broke through.  So now I'm tryign to figure out what kept her awake this morning from 4:30 until 6:00, along with a good half-hour of screaming in there.  What was all that about??

I have such nice girls.  Emily is so delightful, and I'm really crazy about her.  If I'm in control, she and I can handle just about any outburst and she resolves herself so maturely.  The key, I guess, is me staying in control, and then she just shines. She was drawing "X"'s and circles on the sidewalk with chalk, and today she brought home a mother's day card from daycare with her scribbles on it, just vertical zig-zags but it's definitely "writing."  Audrey is very close to sitting on her own, and does really very well in the boppy. She giggles at the sight of her sister, especially first thing in the morning when they see each other.  Emily will rock Audrey in her carseat or the exersaucer, clear to the point where her head is flopping around, and it's hard to tell Emily that that's not good for a baby when Audrey is giggling her head off.  I wonder when they'll start hating each other, but I'll definitely enjoy it for now.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

bouncing back

It seems that all of growing up (and all the subsections of things a person learns while doing so) is a series of two-steps-forward-one-step-back.  I apparently do not handle the one-step-back portion of things, either in the student or teacher role.  I told Travis that I had just kept betting that the next day would be the day we could start moving forward again and I was beginning to feel crazy for doing so.  But finally, yesterday, the "laughing Elmo" undies survived the entire day.  There was much celebrating, a highly-hyped lollipop after supper, and today, several successes.  I guess I just had to hit bottom emotionally, and that's her cue to start moving forward again.  What a basketcase I am!

Thanks, everyone, for your support.  I hope that someday, when I escape this sleep-deprived fog, I still resemble the fun person I used to be. 

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Frustrated!!!!!!

If you don't want to bother reading a bunch of whining about potty training, just skip this entry.  If someone had told me that I would be dealing with daily accidents for 6 months, I think I would've stuck with diapers and changing her 4 poopy diapers daily.  This totally, totally sucks.

I am glad I haven't been keeping track exactly, but from the looks of my last load of laundry, it has been many weeks since Emily has gone a whole day in one pair of undergarments.  I cannot tell you how tired of stainsticking and clorox-wiping and carpet-cleaning I am.  Emily goes through more wipes than Audrey does!  It's everything - she still has about one wet accident each week, but the worst is that even on the days where she has 2 poop successes on the potty, she still has at least one accident.  I cannot stand it.  I mostly just get angry at her now and tell her I'm tired of it, that I know she CAN do it and I cannot figure out why she won't.  It's probably the worst possible thing to do but if nothing is going to work and she'll "figure it out when she's ready," then what does it matter what I do?  If I catch her in time, or if I hear some mention of it in her constant chatter, she'll go and be quite pleased with herself.  But then an hour or so later she'll be looking at her fingers, wondering why they're "muddy."  The quantity she can go each day is astonishing to me, which makes me wonder why she (and I) never get a break from this.  If she goes at 10, can't I at least wait until the naptime battle starts to deal with it again??  Nope, "chocolate chips" on the floor at 1:00.  It's disgusting and frustrating, and worst of all, I'm gaining more and more resentment to that delightful little girl. She is so amazing and wonderful and yet there are days I just cannot stand her.  I feel like this is stealing away time with her because I get so very, very mad, and I waste all kinds of time trying to figure out what I can do differently.  I spent half an hour reading message boards on the internet today, hoping for something else to try, and it's so impossibly irritating because people will say the most obvious, stupid things ("well, MY daughter did this...", "try giving her M&M's!"  "after a day and a half he hasn't figured it out - what do i do?", "miraculously, she just figured it out and has been accident-free ever since!").  thanks, that's all very helpful, people, and you are all very stupid.  Has anybody thought about what's going on in their CHILD's head??  No matter what, i can't get past the thought that it seems having that substance in one's undergarments should be enough of a negative consequence that adding more consequences would be a waste of time.  And it doesn't seem to be a power struggle because I can convince her to use the potty whenever I really need her to; besides I don't want to make it into a constant battle.  I stopped rewarding with skittles because it really only seems necessary as a way to learn how it works, and she knows HOW.  She just, WON'T. And I got tired of the whining for candy.  She has stayed dry through the night and naptimes (when she does happen to nap) for almost a week now, so I'm thinking she'll be the only toddler ever to wear big-kid pants at night and pull-ups during the day.

Oh, and Audrey won't nap for me now, either.  I haven't been able to get her to nap since Thursday - thank goodness Travis has been patient enough to get us a few minutes of peace.  Emily just woke up from hers, so it appears I wasted yet another naptime beating my head against a wall.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Thursdays! Ugh!

For some reason, Thursdays have been very tough the past couple of weeks. It's been things like potty accidents, not taking naps, and then dealing with all the poor decisions that result from operating while too tired.  There's a whole rash of guilt I feel for not fully enjoying my day at home, but at least this week I was rested enough that it didn't spoil the whole day.  So, to celebrate, I'm going to document some of the amazing things both my girls can do.

Audrey is a real talker now, having discovered "Bub bub bub."  She's also pretty shrill sometimes, which was grating today, but I think it's that she's really sensitive to a stressful situation.  We had dinner with two other families this weekend who each have baby girls about 8 months old, one of whom was crawling -- and she's smaller than Audrey!  It was so funny to see them next to each other, doing just exactly what a babies their ages should be doing, but so wrongly sized. :)

Emily has made several remarkable connections lately.  She was picking up toys the other night, and realized it was faster to put the blocks on the lid of the container and carry the lid over than to carry each piece individually.  I was singing a rhyming song, and she caught on right away that I was rhyming the names of her friends.  She loves looking at the water towers that we see, and she's been pointing out the "ABCs" that she knows as we go by.  Conveniently, there are some nice letters in Urbandale and Ames for her to identify, particularly AMES!  I love to hear her greet them, "Oh! Hello, watertower!  You having a nice time, watertower?"  "I see the blue one!  Goodbye, blue one!"  She sings and chatters in the backseat and Audrey just gazes at her like she's her own personal jester.  Emily helped me plant the garden this year, and she was concerned that we left the seeds in the ground, but I told her we hid them so they'll grow into plants, and she was somewhat consoled.

I think we might go get our hair cut together next week, or the week after.  She just needs a trim, while my hair needs a serious hacking.  It's been over a year since I've had it cut!