Emily was looking at her globe, asking me what different things are (just the purple countries), with Audrey on my other side providing commentary, mostly in the form of random made-up words to counter what I was telling Emily.
E: "Mom, what's this one?"
Me: "Antarctica."
E: "Yup. Penguins live there."
Me: "Yep."
A: "It looks like a pizza!!"
I remember asking my mom, when I was little, why she said I was such a funny kid. Was she laughing AT me? Now I get it. My kids are just randomly entertaining. Which is good, because there are times when I want to strangle them.
Clara is still sleeping like a demon. the nights that she sleeps well are just part of the torture, I think, giving us a glimpse of what a true rested state might feel like. Even her naps are insanely short. I think it will serve her well when she's older, trying to keep up with her sisters, but for now it just means that I'm a zombie and trying my best to put on a brave face and be able to enjoy the fun things about each day.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
The rainbow
I think the storm has passed. Clara has been sleeping well the past few nights, and Travis and I are becoming human beings again. He is impressed with how long it has taken him to feel rested again, and I am quite openly enjoying that he's learning first-hand all about sleep deprivation and its subsequent recovery. It's not that I enjoy seeing him suffer, or that he was unempathetic to me all along, but when he is short with the kids or is still groggy after his first full night's sleep in a week, well, it's just nice to know that I'm not crazy. Anybody in this situation would do about as well as I have.
For the past few months, I've been trying a little experiment with Clara. Back when I was potty training Audrey, and reading everything I could find on the internet in desperate search for help, I came across an article about elimination communication, or EC. Basically, you take the kid potty the same way you would take your dog potty. The kid can communicate that she needs to go, but for the most part you preemptively set her on the place and she learns that that's when to go. I really didn't think it would work, although I never have liked the idea of my kid sitting in her own poop. It seems that humans would not want that, and that we've actually had to teach our kids to do that because of a lack of better alternative. So, I've got Clara's diapers all set up in the bathroom, since the cloth bin does get to stinking a little bit by the end of the week, and the bathroom is the place for that kind of smell! I figured, as long as I'm changing her on the floor next to the toilet, I might as well plop her up there once in a while. The first time I did it, it was because she started peeing while I was changing her, so I just did it out of capturing a mess. Then I did it more often, and every once in a while she'd be wet when I took her back down. The first time she pooped was pretty funny, because she was a bit backed up due to some of the new solid foods she'd been trying. It had been a couple days without messy diapers so I think she had been holding it in, but when sitting in that position, she didn't really have any say in the matter and it was gonna happen. She let out a terrible scream, and I felt so bad about it, but there was no going back, and it had to come out some time! After that she didn't want to sit up there at all so I didn't push it for a week or so. But lately, in the past few days i think she's really preferring to find an opportunity to go on the potty rather than in her diaper. Sometimes I catch her tooting and we go off to the potty together, and sometimes she just decides to hold it until the next opportunity, and she lets it go when she's up there. The most hilarious thing is the diameter of her output. I can't get over it! She is such a tiny person!! And she is SO CUTE sitting up there, with her little legs hanging down. We have the best time, the two of us, nose to nose, singing songs and making faces, or she plays with her toes or reaches for the toilet paper. If nothing else, we've enjoyed that much of it. Her cue to pee is a little song that I sing to her, and her little face lights up and she gazes at me so prettily, and I'd swear that she's listening for that happy little noise to happen next!
Anyway, she is still in diapers all the time, and if she decides she doesn't have time to sit on the potty, well, I'll just appreciate the potty-successes we've had and let her do it her way. In a perfect world, she'd keep up the pooping portion and I'd just change and wash just wet diapers, but I'm not cancelling the diaper service because I don't want to put that kind of pressure on her, or me! So, yeah. How much of a hippy am I?! :)
I have been putting in extra effort to spend quality time with Audrey lately, and loving it. She is such a sweetheart, and I feel like I know her so much better now. She is not quite as volatile, and she seems to trust me a little more to help her during times that might have previously spiraled into a full-on tantrum. I bought her an outfit at Kohl's the other day, that has a matching doll's outfit for her Bitty Baby. Emily was very, very jealous, but she seems to get a lot of special fun things at preschool that Audrey misses out on. That was a challenge to work through, to explain that it can't be the same but it's still fair, but both girls came to terms with it this time.
I know I must be better-rested because I can actually remember one of the quotes of Audrey's that cracked me up. She sings and talks all the time while she's playing, and I heard her say, "Mom, I'm so pretty. There's nothing to it, really." Very matter-of-fact. I'm sure it's because she hears the mice sing it in Cinderelly when they're going to make her dress so pretty, and she has no idea what the phrase actually means. But it kind of epitomizes her at the moment. She came into Clara's room tonight after bath, and I held up my finger to tell her to be quiet since Clara was almost asleep. Audrey struck a little pose, wearing pastel pink footie PJ's and her hair still wet, and whispered, "Am I pretty?" Yes, you're beautiful. Most beautiful thing in the world. And she skipped and scampered off to bed, where I later retrieved more beautiful, chapsticky kisses before turning out the light.
Emily has been giving me hugs while I rock Clara, too, because sometimes she is ready to climb up into her bed before I've laid Clara down. She'll hug and kiss me, and then skip over to the doorway. I have such a great mental picture of her happy little steps, ready to go to sleep and have another great day tomorrow. Travis and I went to her school last week to decorate gingerbread houses, which was an activity rescheduled due to their snowday before Christmas. It was so cool to see her in her class, singing their little song about the snowman melting. I swear, she just sparkles. I would say that none of the other kids were as beautiful or sparkling as my girl, but I can't honestly say that because I couldn't take my eyes off her to look at the other kids. I don't believe any of the other snowmen had hips that wiggled so joyfully as they melted, or actually sang the notes to the song instead of just shout-singing. I'm sure all the other parents were just as enraptured with their own kids, but they missed out, cuz my kid is the most amazing thing.
I signed Audrey up for 2 days of preschool, starting next fall. It's at Lawson Elementary, where Emily is enrolled now and will be for Kindergarten, too. Travis and I will go to the parent information night for Kindergarten on this coming Tuesday. It just doesn't seem that long ago that I was enormously overdue with her, and Travis was telling me I needed to put something in that empty carseat... We were so excited to meet her, and with good reason! But really, that was it? School, already?? *sigh*
This is the kind of post I want to do more often, not those toxic, I'm-drowning ones. I guess there are good and bad, though, so might as well keep it real. Real Life seems to keep happening all around me, and I am starting to see that celebrations are really kind of an "up yours" to this Real Life thing. So this weekend I made one of my favorite desserts (Spiced Pecan Pie Bars) and took some to my grandmother on her 93rd birthday, before she went off to watch her Cyclone women win a basketball game. That's my kind of celebrating!
For the past few months, I've been trying a little experiment with Clara. Back when I was potty training Audrey, and reading everything I could find on the internet in desperate search for help, I came across an article about elimination communication, or EC. Basically, you take the kid potty the same way you would take your dog potty. The kid can communicate that she needs to go, but for the most part you preemptively set her on the place and she learns that that's when to go. I really didn't think it would work, although I never have liked the idea of my kid sitting in her own poop. It seems that humans would not want that, and that we've actually had to teach our kids to do that because of a lack of better alternative. So, I've got Clara's diapers all set up in the bathroom, since the cloth bin does get to stinking a little bit by the end of the week, and the bathroom is the place for that kind of smell! I figured, as long as I'm changing her on the floor next to the toilet, I might as well plop her up there once in a while. The first time I did it, it was because she started peeing while I was changing her, so I just did it out of capturing a mess. Then I did it more often, and every once in a while she'd be wet when I took her back down. The first time she pooped was pretty funny, because she was a bit backed up due to some of the new solid foods she'd been trying. It had been a couple days without messy diapers so I think she had been holding it in, but when sitting in that position, she didn't really have any say in the matter and it was gonna happen. She let out a terrible scream, and I felt so bad about it, but there was no going back, and it had to come out some time! After that she didn't want to sit up there at all so I didn't push it for a week or so. But lately, in the past few days i think she's really preferring to find an opportunity to go on the potty rather than in her diaper. Sometimes I catch her tooting and we go off to the potty together, and sometimes she just decides to hold it until the next opportunity, and she lets it go when she's up there. The most hilarious thing is the diameter of her output. I can't get over it! She is such a tiny person!! And she is SO CUTE sitting up there, with her little legs hanging down. We have the best time, the two of us, nose to nose, singing songs and making faces, or she plays with her toes or reaches for the toilet paper. If nothing else, we've enjoyed that much of it. Her cue to pee is a little song that I sing to her, and her little face lights up and she gazes at me so prettily, and I'd swear that she's listening for that happy little noise to happen next!
Anyway, she is still in diapers all the time, and if she decides she doesn't have time to sit on the potty, well, I'll just appreciate the potty-successes we've had and let her do it her way. In a perfect world, she'd keep up the pooping portion and I'd just change and wash just wet diapers, but I'm not cancelling the diaper service because I don't want to put that kind of pressure on her, or me! So, yeah. How much of a hippy am I?! :)
I have been putting in extra effort to spend quality time with Audrey lately, and loving it. She is such a sweetheart, and I feel like I know her so much better now. She is not quite as volatile, and she seems to trust me a little more to help her during times that might have previously spiraled into a full-on tantrum. I bought her an outfit at Kohl's the other day, that has a matching doll's outfit for her Bitty Baby. Emily was very, very jealous, but she seems to get a lot of special fun things at preschool that Audrey misses out on. That was a challenge to work through, to explain that it can't be the same but it's still fair, but both girls came to terms with it this time.
I know I must be better-rested because I can actually remember one of the quotes of Audrey's that cracked me up. She sings and talks all the time while she's playing, and I heard her say, "Mom, I'm so pretty. There's nothing to it, really." Very matter-of-fact. I'm sure it's because she hears the mice sing it in Cinderelly when they're going to make her dress so pretty, and she has no idea what the phrase actually means. But it kind of epitomizes her at the moment. She came into Clara's room tonight after bath, and I held up my finger to tell her to be quiet since Clara was almost asleep. Audrey struck a little pose, wearing pastel pink footie PJ's and her hair still wet, and whispered, "Am I pretty?" Yes, you're beautiful. Most beautiful thing in the world. And she skipped and scampered off to bed, where I later retrieved more beautiful, chapsticky kisses before turning out the light.
Emily has been giving me hugs while I rock Clara, too, because sometimes she is ready to climb up into her bed before I've laid Clara down. She'll hug and kiss me, and then skip over to the doorway. I have such a great mental picture of her happy little steps, ready to go to sleep and have another great day tomorrow. Travis and I went to her school last week to decorate gingerbread houses, which was an activity rescheduled due to their snowday before Christmas. It was so cool to see her in her class, singing their little song about the snowman melting. I swear, she just sparkles. I would say that none of the other kids were as beautiful or sparkling as my girl, but I can't honestly say that because I couldn't take my eyes off her to look at the other kids. I don't believe any of the other snowmen had hips that wiggled so joyfully as they melted, or actually sang the notes to the song instead of just shout-singing. I'm sure all the other parents were just as enraptured with their own kids, but they missed out, cuz my kid is the most amazing thing.
I signed Audrey up for 2 days of preschool, starting next fall. It's at Lawson Elementary, where Emily is enrolled now and will be for Kindergarten, too. Travis and I will go to the parent information night for Kindergarten on this coming Tuesday. It just doesn't seem that long ago that I was enormously overdue with her, and Travis was telling me I needed to put something in that empty carseat... We were so excited to meet her, and with good reason! But really, that was it? School, already?? *sigh*
This is the kind of post I want to do more often, not those toxic, I'm-drowning ones. I guess there are good and bad, though, so might as well keep it real. Real Life seems to keep happening all around me, and I am starting to see that celebrations are really kind of an "up yours" to this Real Life thing. So this weekend I made one of my favorite desserts (Spiced Pecan Pie Bars) and took some to my grandmother on her 93rd birthday, before she went off to watch her Cyclone women win a basketball game. That's my kind of celebrating!
Friday, January 4, 2013
The longest day
It's 4:30 AM. I have been essentially awake all night. Trav and I went to bed at 10:30, and Clara started screaming shortly after 11 and didn't really stop until I gave her tylenol at 2:30. Then it took her half an hour to settle down, and I think I fell asleep with her in the chair until about 3:40, because when I got up to put her in her crib my entire left arm was asleep from the elbow down. And after that I've been lying in my bed trying to sleep, unsuccessfully. The past two nights we've tried to let her cry it out, and it took about 45 minutes. I don't know what went on tonight, if it's more teeth or what, but I am going crazy. What I wouldn't do for even 6 uninterrupted hours of sleep. Or even 4. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
So I might as well blog. I haven't had time to sit and have a coherent thought to myself in weeks, so I might as well see this as my opportunity, right?
We had a really nice Christmas. I managed to get everything ready and we had very nice family gatherings. The girls were thrilled with their Santa gifts, and when we got home from traveling, they were excited with the things that Travis and I got for them, including a trampoline, and new fleece blankets that I tied for them.
Yesterday... Wednesday, I guess, it feels like yesterday because I haven't really been asleep but I guess technically it was two days ago... anyway, I was very sick. I caught the same stomach bug that went around the New Year's party we went to. Other children got it, but because I was up all night that night, and thoroughly run down, I caught it too. My kids didn't, fortunately, because they were able to take care of themselves. It was totally amazing. Emily got breakfast for herself and Audrey - all she needed was for me to help unstick the lid on the jam. Clara napped in the afternoon, and so did I, so Emily and Audrey played nicely with play-doh while I was out. I was so very, very proud of them, especially Emily. And I felt so much better today/yesterday that I went to work and had a really great day. Except that I forgot to give Amanda her Christmas gift, and forgot to tell Emily to give her teachers their gifts that were in her bag. That snow day that we had on the last day before break is still coming back to haunt me!
I was really hoping, since this blog has been so dismal lately, that I would be able to make my next entry all full of sunny things about my lovely girls, about a happy Christmas and fun times we're having as a family. those things are all true, but I never seem to have time for this outlet when things are going well. when things aren't, I guess i just need somewhere to shout that feels safe, where I can feel sorry for myself.
We went out to eat with some friends last weekend, who were in town from Russia. The girls were so good during dinner, sitting quietly and coloring and eating everything without any issue at all, that when they requested ice cream afterwards, it was fun to say, Yes! What kind, sweetie? And all the way home from the restaurant, we told them how much we appreciated the chance to talk with our friends, and that we were proud of them for having such a nice dinner with us. It felt really good.
Audrey is practicing her phonics. She likes to pick up words and decide what they start with, and she's totally spot on except for the whole C vs. S thing. There are times that I think that she's learning to read at the same pace as Emily, but it's not true. Emily knows a lot more than she lets on, but I don't think she's reached the "click" yet, where she discovers she can sound out nearly anything just by using the letters. It'll be fun to see her world open up when that happens.
And I guess Audrey's freak-outs lately are just a cry for attention. It's so hard, because I don't want to reward that behavior with attention, but that's how I head it off. If she's headed down that slope, I try to jump in and address what's making her so mad, although sometimes I just let her go, and hope that she'll figure out, someday, how to decide for herself that she's done being angry and that she would rather be happy instead. Seems like that might be a tool she'll appreciate having later in life. I am tired of coaxing her out of her tizzy fits. But I just try my best to love her more. It's the only thing that doesn't leave me hating myself.
I just heard Clara squeak again. This is insane. I guess I've done these kinds of nights before, and I can get through tomorrow. I'm just tired of being sick, and being incapable of having coherent thoughts, like remembering to actually give the gifts that I chose and purchased and wrapped for people. I'm tired of feeling inadequate... there's so much around me that i just can't get to, I just can't get done. I can limp along, I guess, since everyone else seems to be afloat. I'll catch up at some point.
So I might as well blog. I haven't had time to sit and have a coherent thought to myself in weeks, so I might as well see this as my opportunity, right?
We had a really nice Christmas. I managed to get everything ready and we had very nice family gatherings. The girls were thrilled with their Santa gifts, and when we got home from traveling, they were excited with the things that Travis and I got for them, including a trampoline, and new fleece blankets that I tied for them.
Yesterday... Wednesday, I guess, it feels like yesterday because I haven't really been asleep but I guess technically it was two days ago... anyway, I was very sick. I caught the same stomach bug that went around the New Year's party we went to. Other children got it, but because I was up all night that night, and thoroughly run down, I caught it too. My kids didn't, fortunately, because they were able to take care of themselves. It was totally amazing. Emily got breakfast for herself and Audrey - all she needed was for me to help unstick the lid on the jam. Clara napped in the afternoon, and so did I, so Emily and Audrey played nicely with play-doh while I was out. I was so very, very proud of them, especially Emily. And I felt so much better today/yesterday that I went to work and had a really great day. Except that I forgot to give Amanda her Christmas gift, and forgot to tell Emily to give her teachers their gifts that were in her bag. That snow day that we had on the last day before break is still coming back to haunt me!
I was really hoping, since this blog has been so dismal lately, that I would be able to make my next entry all full of sunny things about my lovely girls, about a happy Christmas and fun times we're having as a family. those things are all true, but I never seem to have time for this outlet when things are going well. when things aren't, I guess i just need somewhere to shout that feels safe, where I can feel sorry for myself.
We went out to eat with some friends last weekend, who were in town from Russia. The girls were so good during dinner, sitting quietly and coloring and eating everything without any issue at all, that when they requested ice cream afterwards, it was fun to say, Yes! What kind, sweetie? And all the way home from the restaurant, we told them how much we appreciated the chance to talk with our friends, and that we were proud of them for having such a nice dinner with us. It felt really good.
Audrey is practicing her phonics. She likes to pick up words and decide what they start with, and she's totally spot on except for the whole C vs. S thing. There are times that I think that she's learning to read at the same pace as Emily, but it's not true. Emily knows a lot more than she lets on, but I don't think she's reached the "click" yet, where she discovers she can sound out nearly anything just by using the letters. It'll be fun to see her world open up when that happens.
And I guess Audrey's freak-outs lately are just a cry for attention. It's so hard, because I don't want to reward that behavior with attention, but that's how I head it off. If she's headed down that slope, I try to jump in and address what's making her so mad, although sometimes I just let her go, and hope that she'll figure out, someday, how to decide for herself that she's done being angry and that she would rather be happy instead. Seems like that might be a tool she'll appreciate having later in life. I am tired of coaxing her out of her tizzy fits. But I just try my best to love her more. It's the only thing that doesn't leave me hating myself.
I just heard Clara squeak again. This is insane. I guess I've done these kinds of nights before, and I can get through tomorrow. I'm just tired of being sick, and being incapable of having coherent thoughts, like remembering to actually give the gifts that I chose and purchased and wrapped for people. I'm tired of feeling inadequate... there's so much around me that i just can't get to, I just can't get done. I can limp along, I guess, since everyone else seems to be afloat. I'll catch up at some point.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
WEIRD
Audrey had a record-length freak-out yesterday. It lasted, I'm not kidding, 2 hours and 45 minutes. Twice, she settled down, fell asleep, then woke up screaming again after about 20 minutes of rest. It was the entire evening. I was FINALLY able to snap her out of her state by an ingenius tactic: I cried. I finally got the point where I could have her in my arms, since she was writhing and thrashing around for much of it, so a hug was feeling pretty good. I was feeling guilty because she was in such a state and I couldnt' do anything about it, so I started crying a bit. When she heard me, she stopped, and finally said the first thing she'd said in hours (instead of howling): "It's okay, Mom. It'll be all right." Just exactly the words I had been telling her for hours. Seeing that she was now acting human again, I kept up the tears, this time just to see if I could get her completely calmed down, by asking her how I should go about stopping crying, if maybe she could show me how a deep breath worked, and it totally worked. It was such a relief. Not only was I glad to have the awful howling stop, but it showed me that there really isn't anything wrong with her. She CAN stop. It's not a systemic problem, it's not a reaction to diet or her environment or a mental defect. She's just an amazing case of The 3's. So, I can do it. Stay level, and try to stay a step ahead.
But, wow.
Clara had her 6-month shots this morning, and of course she cried a little, but actually Emily cried more than she did! She was upset that Clara was in pain and she just couldn't handle knowing what her little sister had been put through. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to see Emily acting so kind and with such empathy, how proud I was to be her mom. What a lovely, amazing little girl she is. I haven't totally screwed her up after all! Things are looking up. :)
Merry Christmas, everyone!
But, wow.
Clara had her 6-month shots this morning, and of course she cried a little, but actually Emily cried more than she did! She was upset that Clara was in pain and she just couldn't handle knowing what her little sister had been put through. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to see Emily acting so kind and with such empathy, how proud I was to be her mom. What a lovely, amazing little girl she is. I haven't totally screwed her up after all! Things are looking up. :)
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Chin Up
Travis and I stayed up way too late last night, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to tough out the hard days. The girls played nicely for most of the time that I was home with them yesterday after work and before Travis got home at 5, but in the last 20 minutes, Audrey managed to cut her hair, Clara got knocked over and hit her head pretty good, and Emily kicked Audrey in the chest fighting over a stupid baby toy. It was such a contrast to how happy I was when I got home from work and how glad I was to see my kids, to then how much I hated their incessant screaming. When are parents supposed to talk to each other about when we need the other to do something different? Travis works 10-hour days consistently, with additional early and late meetings on occasion. He gets frustrated that I am short-tempered with the kids. When do we talk about this? When we're already upset for other reasons, of course. perfect. So I pointed out to him that when I snapped at him for being at work so late, that he can't get upset at me for my poor delivery of a legitimate need and then turn around and tell me I shouldn't be so short-tempered with the kids because they have poor delivery of their legitimate needs. Yes, I know I should always tell myself that they are not capable of proper delivery - they're just kids, of course - but can't he also tell himself that I have been picked and picked and picked on, I'm overtired, and nursing an increasingly mobile baby, and maybe I can't perfectly craft my delivery each time?! It seemed pretty hypocritical. The conversation went something like this: "I need help. I am failing my kids and I'm unhappy way too much of the time, and some of it is your fault." "I don't like the way you asked for help. Here's what's wrong with you." "Okay, yes, those are valid things I want to work on, but here's why it's so hard and I need help. We both have to change something." "Well, here's what you should do different, then." Not exactly the kind of help I need.
That paragraph may not make all that much sense, but I'm trying to get it out of my system, because I'm still irked about the whole thing. My eyes hurt this morning, all puffy from crying, and although it was nice that Clara slept much later than usual, I didn't get to go back to sleep after she nursed at 5:30. And, Emily is sick with a cold and upset stomach, so she won't be going to preschool today. She and Audrey are watching TV while Clara naps right now - we are all pretty worthless today. I am so bummed, not only because it's harder to care for sick children than healthy ones, but that takes away my Mom-and-Audrey time that I treasure so much, and only get for a few hours, once per week. She really gets the short end of the stick when it comes to my attention, because Clara demands so much of it, and Emily can communicate her needs so much more easily than Audrey can that she ends up getting a lot of my focus. And what's left for Audrey, isn't enough. it's just not fair that I don't have enough for them.
I don't think I've blogged about what Clara can do lately - she is really an independent sitter now! I try to remember to put the boppy around her still, but I forget because she is really pretty good on her own. I brought up a whole bunch of baby toys for her to play with, and she is really, really enjoying them. Emily and Audrey are enjoying having new things around, but I think they'll be glad to have Christmas come since baby toys won't hold their interest that long. I'm hoping the timing works out well, there. Clara is also eating solid foods - oatmeal twice a day! She's doing great with it, and really likes it. I think it has helped her sleeping, although an earlier bedtime might help a lot, too. I've got quite a bit of baby food in the freezer, ready for her next addition to her diet - squash, sweet potatoes, peas, and a fruit mix.
Well, the girls' show is over, I'd better get moving again. I've gotta make some changes, and just get through this. I remember feeling like this when Audrey was about Clara's age, so I'll get back to being the person I like to be again soon. right?
That paragraph may not make all that much sense, but I'm trying to get it out of my system, because I'm still irked about the whole thing. My eyes hurt this morning, all puffy from crying, and although it was nice that Clara slept much later than usual, I didn't get to go back to sleep after she nursed at 5:30. And, Emily is sick with a cold and upset stomach, so she won't be going to preschool today. She and Audrey are watching TV while Clara naps right now - we are all pretty worthless today. I am so bummed, not only because it's harder to care for sick children than healthy ones, but that takes away my Mom-and-Audrey time that I treasure so much, and only get for a few hours, once per week. She really gets the short end of the stick when it comes to my attention, because Clara demands so much of it, and Emily can communicate her needs so much more easily than Audrey can that she ends up getting a lot of my focus. And what's left for Audrey, isn't enough. it's just not fair that I don't have enough for them.
I don't think I've blogged about what Clara can do lately - she is really an independent sitter now! I try to remember to put the boppy around her still, but I forget because she is really pretty good on her own. I brought up a whole bunch of baby toys for her to play with, and she is really, really enjoying them. Emily and Audrey are enjoying having new things around, but I think they'll be glad to have Christmas come since baby toys won't hold their interest that long. I'm hoping the timing works out well, there. Clara is also eating solid foods - oatmeal twice a day! She's doing great with it, and really likes it. I think it has helped her sleeping, although an earlier bedtime might help a lot, too. I've got quite a bit of baby food in the freezer, ready for her next addition to her diet - squash, sweet potatoes, peas, and a fruit mix.
Well, the girls' show is over, I'd better get moving again. I've gotta make some changes, and just get through this. I remember feeling like this when Audrey was about Clara's age, so I'll get back to being the person I like to be again soon. right?
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Stop the noise, already!
Another Thanksgiving has been partied away!
We had a pretty manageable amount of family gathering planned for Thanksgiving this year, so I upped it and decided to spend the weekend before in Rockford. It was really good to be back - hadn't been there since summer and it felt really good to be home again. It was of course very cold and windy, so the girls didn't want to be outside at all, but I got Emily out for a little bit. She's still afraid of cows, which is good, except she goes a little overboard. I NEVER have her on the same side of a fence as a cow, but if she sees them 50 feet away but look at her, she's terrified. It's a bit over the top. I stayed up too late chatting, as usual, and the kids slept terribly but that's par for the course at any grandparents house. I'm doing better about not worrying about it, because it's just going to suck, no matter what.
Pretty much the same in Barnum - a very nice family visit with fantastic food, relaxing agenda, and tremendously overtired kids. It's so frustrating, even though they are able to push through a day being overtired and have a good time while they're there, they make us pay later. Audrey prefers to get a catnap and then be too rested to sleep at night, while Emily is a CRAB the following day, laying on the floor, kicking Audrey and whining. I guess I should be thankful they can keep it together for the visit, right?
We also spent a day in Ames with my family, on the way back from Barnum, essentially (after a stop in Farnhamville to meet a very sweet little 18-month-old!). Even though I stayed up much later than I should have, it was totally worth it - SO fun! My family is a pretty weird, and it was so refreshing for me! We were doing puzzles and found a way to do competitive puzzling. I don't know when I've laughed harder. I totally needed that, after dealing with my kids whining and fussing and screaming and crying so much.
It just seems like there's an awful lot of that lately. I've been trying to do some reading to see if there are things I should be doing differently with my kids. I have gotten the impression that they're pretty capable kids, smart, and I wondered if having gifted children changes how you need to parent and provide for them. This is the feedback I've gotten from my mom and my sister. As I'm reading about these other kids who learned to read at age 3, do multiplication by age 4, do 30-piece puzzles at age 2, it feels more and more like my kids are just good singers who are pains in the ass. Audrey is SO stubborn. She pitched a fit the other day because she wanted me to carry her upstairs on my back. It wasn't that I didn't let her, it's that I didn't stand up and walk 10 feet to where SHE was to let her onto my back. I had already crouched down and was at the foot of the stairs, and told her to run and hop onto my back, little monkey! Nope - 20 minutes of screaming her stupid head off. Emily spent 3 days in a row, crying for half an hour on the potty because I wouldn't go wipe her messy bottom - which I haven't done for at least 6 months but lately she's started up again trying to get me to do it for her again because she doesn't feel like washing her hands. What lazy, manipulative, stupid creatures!!! It's so irritating. Why did you learn all your letters but you still pee on the floor all the damn time? Why can you do addition and subtraction on your fingers but can't flush a toilet? Why did you decide to learn the names and sounds of all the different band instruments, but you can't possibly figure out that when you get in the car, the next step is ALWAYS to buckle your seat belt?!?
In the end, I am in no position to say where my kids rank with others. I have no idea if they're gifted or slow. I just know that they're incredibly annoying to me lately and I can't wait for Emily and Audrey to outgrow this miserable phase they're in. I can't ask for advice - everything is conflicting. Not sleeping? Make sure they're busy all day so they're good and tired at night. Or make sure they have rest time in their beds, even if they don't sleep, because they're overtired now and that's why they're not sleeping well. Not sleeping past 5AM? make sure they MUST stay in their beds until it's time to get up. or make sure they get up so they realize that getting up at 5AM sucks after all. Not eating anything? Just give them what they'll eat, so they grow; don't be a health junky. Or keep feeding them same plate of carrots for snack, dinner, breakfast, and nothing else until they eat it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Never give in to a tantrum - even a tantrum over something inanely stupid and small. Don't expect too much of your children. They can learn to put their own shoes away, so they start to learn some responsibility for themselves. Relax. You have to be vigilant, be their voice so they receive what they need from their school / other caretakers. Let them make their own mistakes (I'm just waiting for Audrey to faceplant with her hands in the pockets of her winter coat, because she absolutely insists on having her hands there. That's going to suck). But above all, protect them so they don't get hurt. In the end, I guess I should be doing everything I do differently. And then differently from that, too.
All this, and Clara is still getting up at least once each night... except when occasionally, she doesn't, and it's blissful except I wake up all engorged and the sheets are soaked so I get to do more laundry with all that extra energy. I'm so tired, hence the lack of blog entries, even though I'm just fighting each day, dreading all the screaming.
In the end, I know that it isn't this dire and dreary for me... for sure it isn't all the time. But sometimes it is, and I might as well whine. It's what the rest of the females in the house are doing. WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My potato-turkey from preschool fell in the potty and I'm going to CRYYYYYYY!!!! That incident in particular actually was really, really funny, and it took a tremendous amount of convincing Emily to laugh with me. I finally got her, though. Light at the end of the tunnel, I hope.
We had a pretty manageable amount of family gathering planned for Thanksgiving this year, so I upped it and decided to spend the weekend before in Rockford. It was really good to be back - hadn't been there since summer and it felt really good to be home again. It was of course very cold and windy, so the girls didn't want to be outside at all, but I got Emily out for a little bit. She's still afraid of cows, which is good, except she goes a little overboard. I NEVER have her on the same side of a fence as a cow, but if she sees them 50 feet away but look at her, she's terrified. It's a bit over the top. I stayed up too late chatting, as usual, and the kids slept terribly but that's par for the course at any grandparents house. I'm doing better about not worrying about it, because it's just going to suck, no matter what.
Pretty much the same in Barnum - a very nice family visit with fantastic food, relaxing agenda, and tremendously overtired kids. It's so frustrating, even though they are able to push through a day being overtired and have a good time while they're there, they make us pay later. Audrey prefers to get a catnap and then be too rested to sleep at night, while Emily is a CRAB the following day, laying on the floor, kicking Audrey and whining. I guess I should be thankful they can keep it together for the visit, right?
We also spent a day in Ames with my family, on the way back from Barnum, essentially (after a stop in Farnhamville to meet a very sweet little 18-month-old!). Even though I stayed up much later than I should have, it was totally worth it - SO fun! My family is a pretty weird, and it was so refreshing for me! We were doing puzzles and found a way to do competitive puzzling. I don't know when I've laughed harder. I totally needed that, after dealing with my kids whining and fussing and screaming and crying so much.
It just seems like there's an awful lot of that lately. I've been trying to do some reading to see if there are things I should be doing differently with my kids. I have gotten the impression that they're pretty capable kids, smart, and I wondered if having gifted children changes how you need to parent and provide for them. This is the feedback I've gotten from my mom and my sister. As I'm reading about these other kids who learned to read at age 3, do multiplication by age 4, do 30-piece puzzles at age 2, it feels more and more like my kids are just good singers who are pains in the ass. Audrey is SO stubborn. She pitched a fit the other day because she wanted me to carry her upstairs on my back. It wasn't that I didn't let her, it's that I didn't stand up and walk 10 feet to where SHE was to let her onto my back. I had already crouched down and was at the foot of the stairs, and told her to run and hop onto my back, little monkey! Nope - 20 minutes of screaming her stupid head off. Emily spent 3 days in a row, crying for half an hour on the potty because I wouldn't go wipe her messy bottom - which I haven't done for at least 6 months but lately she's started up again trying to get me to do it for her again because she doesn't feel like washing her hands. What lazy, manipulative, stupid creatures!!! It's so irritating. Why did you learn all your letters but you still pee on the floor all the damn time? Why can you do addition and subtraction on your fingers but can't flush a toilet? Why did you decide to learn the names and sounds of all the different band instruments, but you can't possibly figure out that when you get in the car, the next step is ALWAYS to buckle your seat belt?!?
In the end, I am in no position to say where my kids rank with others. I have no idea if they're gifted or slow. I just know that they're incredibly annoying to me lately and I can't wait for Emily and Audrey to outgrow this miserable phase they're in. I can't ask for advice - everything is conflicting. Not sleeping? Make sure they're busy all day so they're good and tired at night. Or make sure they have rest time in their beds, even if they don't sleep, because they're overtired now and that's why they're not sleeping well. Not sleeping past 5AM? make sure they MUST stay in their beds until it's time to get up. or make sure they get up so they realize that getting up at 5AM sucks after all. Not eating anything? Just give them what they'll eat, so they grow; don't be a health junky. Or keep feeding them same plate of carrots for snack, dinner, breakfast, and nothing else until they eat it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Never give in to a tantrum - even a tantrum over something inanely stupid and small. Don't expect too much of your children. They can learn to put their own shoes away, so they start to learn some responsibility for themselves. Relax. You have to be vigilant, be their voice so they receive what they need from their school / other caretakers. Let them make their own mistakes (I'm just waiting for Audrey to faceplant with her hands in the pockets of her winter coat, because she absolutely insists on having her hands there. That's going to suck). But above all, protect them so they don't get hurt. In the end, I guess I should be doing everything I do differently. And then differently from that, too.
All this, and Clara is still getting up at least once each night... except when occasionally, she doesn't, and it's blissful except I wake up all engorged and the sheets are soaked so I get to do more laundry with all that extra energy. I'm so tired, hence the lack of blog entries, even though I'm just fighting each day, dreading all the screaming.
In the end, I know that it isn't this dire and dreary for me... for sure it isn't all the time. But sometimes it is, and I might as well whine. It's what the rest of the females in the house are doing. WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! My potato-turkey from preschool fell in the potty and I'm going to CRYYYYYYY!!!! That incident in particular actually was really, really funny, and it took a tremendous amount of convincing Emily to laugh with me. I finally got her, though. Light at the end of the tunnel, I hope.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Audrey is 3!
Another birthday is done and in the books. I think she had a great day, which is disappointing to me because I aim for the girls to view their birthdays as super special all the way through, and instead I think I threw too much at her in an attempt to make it comparable to Emily's. I didn't want her to feel shortchanged...
Anyway, Audrey woke up to the house decorated with purple balloons and purple streamers, much to her delight. I had in mind to give her a purple sparkley tiara to wear that said "Birthday Princess" on it, but it didn't arrive in the mail until after I got home. I also had to go to work on her birthday :( because of company-wide day-long meetings that occur once every 8 weeks. But I was home by 3:15 and we enjoyed the rest of the day. Audrey also got to go to her "library preschool" (storytime) with Amanda, who said that Audrey was really participating and enjoying it, all confident like she owns the place. Yeah!! Amanda also took the girls to McDonald's for lunch, and got them each a Happy Meal, "with a toy!!!"
After Emily got home, I discovered that Audrey had taken one of the basketball tickets that Travis ordered for a family outing this winter, and used Emily's scissors to shred it to tiny bits. I think that actually occurred several days if not weeks ago, and i just discovered it behind the piano that day. So, I had a fun puzzle to do, since of course she most finely chopped up the end with the barcode on it. When Travis got home, I wrapped presents, and she opened them, and Emily cried about them. "But I wanted a globe and a beanbag AND a hippity-hop!!" *sigh*. I had cleaned up the entire basement so she could have some space to use the hippity-hop, so we took her down there to try it out. I also got her a bike helmet since her current one is so old that it's probably not protective anymore. I turned out to be a good combination. Travis took lots of pictures of the girls, all wound up, and then we went out for supper at Panchero's, followed by ice cream at ColdStone.
Unfortunately, it was also bath night, and by the time it was Audrey's turn to brush her teeth, she was completely out of gas. She melted down into a little pile and howled. It was heartbreaking. I felt so terrible, because she won't let me help until she has completely burned herself out. I feel like she has to be completely broken, hit rock bottom, before she will let me do anything as simple as squeeze the toothpaste to the end of the tube for her. And then she'll let me do everything, so I washed her hair and helped her through the bath, dry off, get dressed, and snuggle into bed with her beautiful lips.
** Side note ** AUDREY IS DONE WITH BLANKETS!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!! We put chapstick on her one night, because her bottom lip was all chapped from having a wet blanket on it all night. Then I talked her up, telling her how beautiful her lips were, and I wanted a beautiful kiss before bed. Then she wanted her blanket, but I told her that her beautiful chapstick would rub off, and she wanted to sleep beautifully, like Sleeping Beauty. And she smiled, and went to sleep. No tears, no changing her mind, just beautiful lips and very smack-y bedtime kisses! She has asked for her blanekt a couple of times after that, but just during the day when she gets run-down (because she gets up at 6 AM for no reason and has given up naps!! I digress...). I just told her that her lips were healing, almost healed, so she should wait a few days. And she's stopped asking. She even saw them in the laundry, and I told her I was going to put them in Clara's room since they're baby blankets, and she agreed! I am SO RELIEVED. I don't even care that Clara either nurses to sleep or uses a pacifier to get to sleep. Whatever - I now know I am capable of getting a kid detached! I caught Emily sucking her thumb while watching Thomas on TV today, so she's got an orthodontic solution in her future. When she gets one loose tooth, I am not messing around. I'm scheduling her appointment with the orthodontist as soon as humanly possible at that point.
Sooo, back to the birthday! I actually had a more celebratory day with Audrey today, since I was home from work and Emily was at preschool. Clara took a 90-minute afternoon nap - twice her usual length! - so we had a lot of time to snuggle and do our nails and fold laundry, and sing songs. She was singing with her baby swing, which has Old MacDonald and Mary Had A Little Lamb on it, in two different keys. After one song is over, you have to go back and hit a button for it to play the other, and it just alternates. So she would start singing the other song before she'd go back to hit the button - and she'd have the right notes, for the new song in the new key. Now, that is the kind of thing that I can relate to, and just thrills me to see! What a great kid. If only I had a better way to help her when she starts spiraling downward, instead of just letting her go and waiting through her tantrum, then I would feel like an adequate parent for her. She is so amazing, and I love her so much! I hope I can be the mom that she deserves... I know that sometimes I am not. I'm afraid that I'm expecting her to be too much like Emily, and not realizing that just because some of the things she does are beyond her years, that she is only 3. How can she be so big and so little at the same time??
Anyway, Audrey woke up to the house decorated with purple balloons and purple streamers, much to her delight. I had in mind to give her a purple sparkley tiara to wear that said "Birthday Princess" on it, but it didn't arrive in the mail until after I got home. I also had to go to work on her birthday :( because of company-wide day-long meetings that occur once every 8 weeks. But I was home by 3:15 and we enjoyed the rest of the day. Audrey also got to go to her "library preschool" (storytime) with Amanda, who said that Audrey was really participating and enjoying it, all confident like she owns the place. Yeah!! Amanda also took the girls to McDonald's for lunch, and got them each a Happy Meal, "with a toy!!!"
After Emily got home, I discovered that Audrey had taken one of the basketball tickets that Travis ordered for a family outing this winter, and used Emily's scissors to shred it to tiny bits. I think that actually occurred several days if not weeks ago, and i just discovered it behind the piano that day. So, I had a fun puzzle to do, since of course she most finely chopped up the end with the barcode on it. When Travis got home, I wrapped presents, and she opened them, and Emily cried about them. "But I wanted a globe and a beanbag AND a hippity-hop!!" *sigh*. I had cleaned up the entire basement so she could have some space to use the hippity-hop, so we took her down there to try it out. I also got her a bike helmet since her current one is so old that it's probably not protective anymore. I turned out to be a good combination. Travis took lots of pictures of the girls, all wound up, and then we went out for supper at Panchero's, followed by ice cream at ColdStone.
Unfortunately, it was also bath night, and by the time it was Audrey's turn to brush her teeth, she was completely out of gas. She melted down into a little pile and howled. It was heartbreaking. I felt so terrible, because she won't let me help until she has completely burned herself out. I feel like she has to be completely broken, hit rock bottom, before she will let me do anything as simple as squeeze the toothpaste to the end of the tube for her. And then she'll let me do everything, so I washed her hair and helped her through the bath, dry off, get dressed, and snuggle into bed with her beautiful lips.
** Side note ** AUDREY IS DONE WITH BLANKETS!!! WOO HOOOOO!!!! We put chapstick on her one night, because her bottom lip was all chapped from having a wet blanket on it all night. Then I talked her up, telling her how beautiful her lips were, and I wanted a beautiful kiss before bed. Then she wanted her blanket, but I told her that her beautiful chapstick would rub off, and she wanted to sleep beautifully, like Sleeping Beauty. And she smiled, and went to sleep. No tears, no changing her mind, just beautiful lips and very smack-y bedtime kisses! She has asked for her blanekt a couple of times after that, but just during the day when she gets run-down (because she gets up at 6 AM for no reason and has given up naps!! I digress...). I just told her that her lips were healing, almost healed, so she should wait a few days. And she's stopped asking. She even saw them in the laundry, and I told her I was going to put them in Clara's room since they're baby blankets, and she agreed! I am SO RELIEVED. I don't even care that Clara either nurses to sleep or uses a pacifier to get to sleep. Whatever - I now know I am capable of getting a kid detached! I caught Emily sucking her thumb while watching Thomas on TV today, so she's got an orthodontic solution in her future. When she gets one loose tooth, I am not messing around. I'm scheduling her appointment with the orthodontist as soon as humanly possible at that point.
Sooo, back to the birthday! I actually had a more celebratory day with Audrey today, since I was home from work and Emily was at preschool. Clara took a 90-minute afternoon nap - twice her usual length! - so we had a lot of time to snuggle and do our nails and fold laundry, and sing songs. She was singing with her baby swing, which has Old MacDonald and Mary Had A Little Lamb on it, in two different keys. After one song is over, you have to go back and hit a button for it to play the other, and it just alternates. So she would start singing the other song before she'd go back to hit the button - and she'd have the right notes, for the new song in the new key. Now, that is the kind of thing that I can relate to, and just thrills me to see! What a great kid. If only I had a better way to help her when she starts spiraling downward, instead of just letting her go and waiting through her tantrum, then I would feel like an adequate parent for her. She is so amazing, and I love her so much! I hope I can be the mom that she deserves... I know that sometimes I am not. I'm afraid that I'm expecting her to be too much like Emily, and not realizing that just because some of the things she does are beyond her years, that she is only 3. How can she be so big and so little at the same time??
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