So, it's been a busy week. :)
Little Clara is an excellent sleeper. She's been regularly doing 3-4 hour sleep stretches at night, and once slept for SIX straight hours! She eats quickly and goes right back to sleep, so I'm generally only up with her for less than 30 minutes each time, and I'm really feeling good as a result. I've had a lot of help over the past week and been able to physically take it easy for long enough that I'm thinking I can start doing things like going for short walks, or doing more physical activities around the house. For now, I'm just enjoying being able to curl up on the couch with a gigantic awkward belly in my way. I've lost 25 lbs in 10 days - also a good feeling. :) I can now climb a flight of stairs without getting winded!! I'm started to get regulated with Clara's appetite, too, so the soreness in my boobs is going away now, too. Such a relief!
But enough about me. Clara had a checkup on Tuesday, where she was only 1 oz shy of her birthweight, so that's awesome. She also passed a bilirubin check, since the doc thought she might be a bit on the jaundiced side, but I think she was coming out of that. She was pretty yellow on Sunday but by Tuesday she had pinked up again, and the check confirmed that. She's definitely like her sisters - nearly every diaper is poopy, and she puts on some serious displays of capability on that end. I think it's funny that my mom is so impressed by her output, but her other grandma thinks nothing of it - totally normal for a Sullivan, I guess!!
One morning, she woke up and looked at me with a Travis expression on her face, much to my surprise since to that point she had looked like sleeping baby Kristin. But the shape of her face, around her eyes, is definitely Travis's. She is such a pretty baby!! I swear she's trying to smile at us. It's not like she has a broad range of expressions yet, but she does have different looks when she's staring intently and thinking hard versus enjoying wiggling and hearing her sisters talk. She has such a pleasant expression then that it seems like a smile! Her little legs are long and skinny and floppy, and she really swings her arms around a lot when she's talking with her sisters.
Emily asks all the time if she can hold her, and if I set her up in the blue chair with the boppy, she does a great job and both girls really enjoy it. Audrey calls her Baby, because I think she knows when she tries to say Clara it comes out more like Carla, and if it's not right, she avoids it. :) But she's just as affectionate towards her sister... and opportunistic when it comes to us being distracted by the baby. Check out our family picture site for the mascara incident as just one example of how she is taking advantage of our diverted attention. She's a little stinker!
The big activity for this weekend is that we are writing a contract to hire a nanny! We interviewed a girl, Amanda, on Thursday who seems to be a great fit for our family. I'm really excited, and will have her here for 8 weeks before I go back to work. I know that seems a little crazy, but I have already put together a list of things I want to be working on while she has primary care of the kids. It's the kind of stuff you always think you'll do on maternity leave but of course you don't. Well, I stand a better chance this way, at least! I'm also hoping to use it to get 1-on-1 time with Emily and with Audrey, for maybe a special outing here nad there. It'll be so much easier when I do go back to work, because Clara will be in her own home with a familiar person, and being home on leave when Amand starts will make it easier for each of us to figure out how the other operates. The hardest part about this will be telling our current sitter, because she really is truly crazy about our kids. She knew we were looking, so it's not a surprise to her, but I still feel bad because the things that prompted us to go this route aren't things she can really fix. It's like breaking up with her "It's not you, it's me"-style.
Time to track down Audrey for a snooze. I suggested a nap to her yesterday at about this time, and she found her blanket and wandered off. About 10 minutes later I asked if anyone knew where she was - she was in bed!! My mom pulled down the shade in her room for her and kissed her forehead, and that was it. If only it was that easy at bedtime. :)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Clara Nicole Sullivan
She's here! She's here! She's here!!!
I have about 20 minutes so I'll type as fast as I can to document the story of Clara's birth.
Travis and I left the girls with Nancy and drove downtown to Methodist for an 8AM induction appointment. Things got started at about 9 AM with a pitocin drip, which was super fun. I had had contractions since about 5 AM, but only enough to keep me awake and not enough to do any good at all. They broke my water at about 10:30, but that caused baby's heart rate to drop and she freaked out a little, too. The nurse checked me, suspecting a prolapsed cord, but fortunately that wasn't the case! Phew! That really scared me, because I did NOT want a C-Section, nor the drama of a prolapsed cord!! But it meant that they turned the pitocin off, and had to start over again at the lowest dose, so we spent the morning just waiting, and socializing with the nurses. Finally, the contractions got frequent and regular enough that they called the anaesthesiologist, which I thought should have been done a lot sooner because I kept saying I had nothing to prove, the sooner the better. It was pretty agonizing by the time he got there. The pitocin gave me the shakes, and I was freezing cold and shaking on the edge of the bed, clinging to a nurse, writhing in pain... it was horrible. But then after the anaesthetic took effect, it was amazing. I told Travis that it was kind of like the feeling you get when you've been struggling to stay afloat in freezing cold water, and finally you get out of the water, dry off, and catch your breath, and your toes finally get warm again and then you relax. It was that good of a feeling, only better because the pain beforehand was a LOT worse than swimming in freezing cold water!!
So, after that was all taken care of, I took a nap. :) I slept for about half an hour, then the nurses had to check something and rolled me over. Once I did that, I could totally tell that I was ready to have the baby. About half an hour and two key contractions later, she was born!! She was very, very purple, but beautiful and round right away, not at all red and wrinkley. I got to hold her for a few minutes, and then Trav was with her at the warming table, where she didn't scream much at all. He said a few of the nurses were impressed when her head circumference was announced - such a proud dad! And then they weighed her, and sure enough, she beat her sisters for size.
Since then, it's been a crazy mess of people coming to see her, coming to help me, coming to watch the girls... and now it's quiet while Travis takes the girls to the park in the Burley behind his bike, and Clara sleeps. Clara and I had some quiet time together in the hospital, which was really nice, but I think the massive amount of pitocin, and some other factors including a horribly uncomfortable hospital bed, made it hard for me to relax and sleep so I didn't really any solid rest until I slept in my own bed last night. Clara had a great night last night - only up twice, each time just a quick change, eat, back to sleep - so I'm hoping she's got another one of those for me tonight. She's napped a lot today, but also had two or three good hour-long awake times, so I'm hopeful. I'm still pretty sore, but feeling a little better each day. I'm impressed with just how atrophied I am!!
And, might I mention, Clara is just BEAUTIFUL. Her eyes are so deep and alert, and her face is just a perfect shape, and so soft!! She seems really mellow so far, although writing that probably means that I just jinxed it. :) After all the visitors she's seen, she follows the sound of my voice whenever I reappear, and Travis's and the girls' voices, too. My parents have been marveling at how much she looks like my baby pictures, but I'm sure she's Travis's kid: She's already had her first blowout diaper! She's spent all day today eating and pooping, so we're moving up out of newborn size to size 1 already. Her stash of cloth diapers is ready and waiting, but it'll be a few weeks before we venture to that. She also has the same relaxed, long legs that Emily had as a newborn, which I credit her Sullivan side for, also.
The girls are just infatuated with her, and very loving. They have obviously been stressed by all of this, and I'm seeing some behaviors from both of them that are unusual for them, but really not much and nothing that's at all concerning. Travis and I tried out some of our favorite girl names by having Emily and Audrey say them out loud for us, and to hear them say "Clara" really sealed the deal for us. My favorite moment of this whole experience so far -- Travis was holding Clara, with Emily and Audrey on his lap, too, and he asked them if they would like to sing Happy Birthday to Clara because it was, in fact, her birth day. They did, together, and it was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. And Clara stared back at them both, VERY intently. I can't even describe the feeling... It was a moment I want to hold in my heart forever.
We are so lucky, so happy, and so very overwhelmed by everything. My heart is full!
I have about 20 minutes so I'll type as fast as I can to document the story of Clara's birth.
Travis and I left the girls with Nancy and drove downtown to Methodist for an 8AM induction appointment. Things got started at about 9 AM with a pitocin drip, which was super fun. I had had contractions since about 5 AM, but only enough to keep me awake and not enough to do any good at all. They broke my water at about 10:30, but that caused baby's heart rate to drop and she freaked out a little, too. The nurse checked me, suspecting a prolapsed cord, but fortunately that wasn't the case! Phew! That really scared me, because I did NOT want a C-Section, nor the drama of a prolapsed cord!! But it meant that they turned the pitocin off, and had to start over again at the lowest dose, so we spent the morning just waiting, and socializing with the nurses. Finally, the contractions got frequent and regular enough that they called the anaesthesiologist, which I thought should have been done a lot sooner because I kept saying I had nothing to prove, the sooner the better. It was pretty agonizing by the time he got there. The pitocin gave me the shakes, and I was freezing cold and shaking on the edge of the bed, clinging to a nurse, writhing in pain... it was horrible. But then after the anaesthetic took effect, it was amazing. I told Travis that it was kind of like the feeling you get when you've been struggling to stay afloat in freezing cold water, and finally you get out of the water, dry off, and catch your breath, and your toes finally get warm again and then you relax. It was that good of a feeling, only better because the pain beforehand was a LOT worse than swimming in freezing cold water!!
So, after that was all taken care of, I took a nap. :) I slept for about half an hour, then the nurses had to check something and rolled me over. Once I did that, I could totally tell that I was ready to have the baby. About half an hour and two key contractions later, she was born!! She was very, very purple, but beautiful and round right away, not at all red and wrinkley. I got to hold her for a few minutes, and then Trav was with her at the warming table, where she didn't scream much at all. He said a few of the nurses were impressed when her head circumference was announced - such a proud dad! And then they weighed her, and sure enough, she beat her sisters for size.
Since then, it's been a crazy mess of people coming to see her, coming to help me, coming to watch the girls... and now it's quiet while Travis takes the girls to the park in the Burley behind his bike, and Clara sleeps. Clara and I had some quiet time together in the hospital, which was really nice, but I think the massive amount of pitocin, and some other factors including a horribly uncomfortable hospital bed, made it hard for me to relax and sleep so I didn't really any solid rest until I slept in my own bed last night. Clara had a great night last night - only up twice, each time just a quick change, eat, back to sleep - so I'm hoping she's got another one of those for me tonight. She's napped a lot today, but also had two or three good hour-long awake times, so I'm hopeful. I'm still pretty sore, but feeling a little better each day. I'm impressed with just how atrophied I am!!
And, might I mention, Clara is just BEAUTIFUL. Her eyes are so deep and alert, and her face is just a perfect shape, and so soft!! She seems really mellow so far, although writing that probably means that I just jinxed it. :) After all the visitors she's seen, she follows the sound of my voice whenever I reappear, and Travis's and the girls' voices, too. My parents have been marveling at how much she looks like my baby pictures, but I'm sure she's Travis's kid: She's already had her first blowout diaper! She's spent all day today eating and pooping, so we're moving up out of newborn size to size 1 already. Her stash of cloth diapers is ready and waiting, but it'll be a few weeks before we venture to that. She also has the same relaxed, long legs that Emily had as a newborn, which I credit her Sullivan side for, also.
The girls are just infatuated with her, and very loving. They have obviously been stressed by all of this, and I'm seeing some behaviors from both of them that are unusual for them, but really not much and nothing that's at all concerning. Travis and I tried out some of our favorite girl names by having Emily and Audrey say them out loud for us, and to hear them say "Clara" really sealed the deal for us. My favorite moment of this whole experience so far -- Travis was holding Clara, with Emily and Audrey on his lap, too, and he asked them if they would like to sing Happy Birthday to Clara because it was, in fact, her birth day. They did, together, and it was possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. And Clara stared back at them both, VERY intently. I can't even describe the feeling... It was a moment I want to hold in my heart forever.
We are so lucky, so happy, and so very overwhelmed by everything. My heart is full!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Finish line is finally in sight
Today is my last day to be pregnant! haha!!! My induction is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 AM. There was a bit of complication yesterday during my doctor's appointment, because they saw that Baby's bladder was very full and she wouldn't empty it during the entire ultrasound (checking amniotic fluid level, which was totally fine). they thought maybe it wasn't her bladder after all but could possibly be a cyst, so I went back in today and they looked it over and everything was fine. So, no worries after all, and the girls got to see the ultrasound, which Emily enjoyed.
And, I went to the chiropractor, who got my hips back in the right place, finally. I am so relieved!! I felt so much better when things popped back into place on Sunday that I thought I had gotten it back in place, but it's SO much better now that I'm really glad I got this appointment in before things start happening tomorrow. And I will admit I was a little smug when Audrey read off the letters of a FedEx truck parked outside the office, and my chiropractor was much impressed. Hee hee - I deserve to enjoy that, right?
So, that's the latest. I am mentally feeling much, much better. Physically, I'll be fine for one more day, as long as it doesn't have to be an undetermined amount of time, because that is just torturous. May 31 sounds like a lovely birthday, doesn't it? And if it happens to turn into June 1, well, that'll just make things interesting with HR, won't it? ha!
And, I went to the chiropractor, who got my hips back in the right place, finally. I am so relieved!! I felt so much better when things popped back into place on Sunday that I thought I had gotten it back in place, but it's SO much better now that I'm really glad I got this appointment in before things start happening tomorrow. And I will admit I was a little smug when Audrey read off the letters of a FedEx truck parked outside the office, and my chiropractor was much impressed. Hee hee - I deserve to enjoy that, right?
So, that's the latest. I am mentally feeling much, much better. Physically, I'll be fine for one more day, as long as it doesn't have to be an undetermined amount of time, because that is just torturous. May 31 sounds like a lovely birthday, doesn't it? And if it happens to turn into June 1, well, that'll just make things interesting with HR, won't it? ha!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Still waiting.
I called my doctor's office on Friday and talked to a nurse about rescheduling my regular appointment on Tuesday for an induction instead. She reassured me that they wouldn't let me go past 41 weeks... while at the same time saying they wouldn't do anything until 41 weeks. So, which is it?! Then she either hung up on me or the connection was lost on her end, and she didn't call back. At which point I muttered an insult I won't repeat here and proceeded to just get madder and madder. I had a rough night last night, and a few contractions this morning, which made me optimistic about having this baby on Travis's birthday (tomorrow) but it's been a quiet afternoon so I'm back to figuring I'll have to show up Tuesday at that appointment and cry.
So I'm going to try to use this post to talk about the great things my girls are up to lately.
Audrey is really into puzzles these days. We have a few 24piece, age 3+ puzzles that she whips together like nothing, and even a 35-piece puzzle that she has the patience to do at least twice ("Wan do ageen?") if I'm sitting with her, conversing about the pieces she's putting together. I'm thinking this will be a great activity for her when I have to sit with my arms full of baby, and can't physically interact with her or Emily. And it's amazing to watch her figure it all out. And Audrey has been talking a lot more lately. She's getting easier to understand, and she's finding it satisfying that she can use her words to solve a problem. She has a fantastic little giggle that comes out when she's gotten her way because she was able to tell me how to fix things. That's gotta be a thrill, when her only tools up to this point have been howling and hoping.
Emily and Audrey were over at my neighbor's the other day, and got to work with some washable paints. They were SO thrilled, but the funniest thing was the difference in their artwork. Emily made 6 or 8 neat oval blobs of each color on the page, while Audrey brushed probably at least 10 different colors all right next to each other, but not overlapping. It was crazy, the difference - Emily's looked like an organized analysis of color while Audrey's was art. We also watched a video of a friend's boy who was singing along with the piano as he played a C scale up an octave. Audrey sat with me and sang along, while Emily ran to the piano and did exactly what the boy did. It was fun to see them jump at the idea like that, like, "Cool, can I do that too? Yup. Cool." I set them up with the kiddie swimming pool, and instead of putting water in it, I left it on the porch and put a bunch of scrap papers and scissors in it, and they cut like crazy for a week. They're both pretty skilled with their scissors!
Emily is so excited to meet her sister. It's been crazy to see her be so grown up lately. What a little lady!! I wish I could recall specific examples of how she speaks, because it's so delicate and vocabulary-rich. And thoughtful! She often, out of the blue, says, "Mom, I love you!" and Audrey parrots, "MommyAyeLawwYou." Emily really had a good time with one of the busybag activities that had a phonics exercise, spelling rhyming words using paint chips. She's just starting to think about how to sound out a word; sometimes she's really up for thinking about it, but often she just wants to read the book. At Easter, I made her hunt for the word "egg" on the page, in addition to finding the eggs in the picture, which she thought was fun sometimes but didn't want to think about other times. I sure don't want to push her, but it's SO fun when she's ready to absorb information, just watching the gears in her head go, and seeing her get excited when she figures stuff out. Or tries on a new word that she just learned, like, testing it out to see if she had it right. What a great little brain.
I've made connections with a potential nanny candidate, who I think seems very promising. She is trying to get her own vocal studio going, giving lessons during the day, but I think she has a tough challenge of finding students, especially ones that could come during the day instead of after school. She's going to get back to me at the end of the week, at which point I should have news of baby, and maybe we can find a time to chat after that. It's nice to have a lead, but also nice to know that I've got the summer ahead of me before I must have a solution.
I don't think it's worth documenting on this forum the disaster I had with HR last week. Basically, they won't actually act on the promotion that's been approved for me because they don't think I'll be at work on June 1, meaning the pay increase won't go into effect until after I come back to work in the fall because my boss was two days late with paperwork. I probably could be still at work on June 1, at this rate, so it would be interesting to see their reaction when I report the baby's birthday as June 2. But I guess I'd rather just have the baby, even though it would be satisfying to prove those jerks wrong. The situation is actually more complicated with apparently HR imaccurately relaying things to my boss that I thought I had said in the confidentiality of an HR office, but I'm trying to just let it all go. There truly is nothing I can do about it, which is maddening in itself!! This will mean that two out of my three maternity leaves, I'll have left work on such a note that I'm too pissed at HR to sleep at night. Let's see if 5 years of maturity has gotten me anywhere... rats. oh well.
So I'm going to try to use this post to talk about the great things my girls are up to lately.
Audrey is really into puzzles these days. We have a few 24piece, age 3+ puzzles that she whips together like nothing, and even a 35-piece puzzle that she has the patience to do at least twice ("Wan do ageen?") if I'm sitting with her, conversing about the pieces she's putting together. I'm thinking this will be a great activity for her when I have to sit with my arms full of baby, and can't physically interact with her or Emily. And it's amazing to watch her figure it all out. And Audrey has been talking a lot more lately. She's getting easier to understand, and she's finding it satisfying that she can use her words to solve a problem. She has a fantastic little giggle that comes out when she's gotten her way because she was able to tell me how to fix things. That's gotta be a thrill, when her only tools up to this point have been howling and hoping.
Emily and Audrey were over at my neighbor's the other day, and got to work with some washable paints. They were SO thrilled, but the funniest thing was the difference in their artwork. Emily made 6 or 8 neat oval blobs of each color on the page, while Audrey brushed probably at least 10 different colors all right next to each other, but not overlapping. It was crazy, the difference - Emily's looked like an organized analysis of color while Audrey's was art. We also watched a video of a friend's boy who was singing along with the piano as he played a C scale up an octave. Audrey sat with me and sang along, while Emily ran to the piano and did exactly what the boy did. It was fun to see them jump at the idea like that, like, "Cool, can I do that too? Yup. Cool." I set them up with the kiddie swimming pool, and instead of putting water in it, I left it on the porch and put a bunch of scrap papers and scissors in it, and they cut like crazy for a week. They're both pretty skilled with their scissors!
Emily is so excited to meet her sister. It's been crazy to see her be so grown up lately. What a little lady!! I wish I could recall specific examples of how she speaks, because it's so delicate and vocabulary-rich. And thoughtful! She often, out of the blue, says, "Mom, I love you!" and Audrey parrots, "MommyAyeLawwYou." Emily really had a good time with one of the busybag activities that had a phonics exercise, spelling rhyming words using paint chips. She's just starting to think about how to sound out a word; sometimes she's really up for thinking about it, but often she just wants to read the book. At Easter, I made her hunt for the word "egg" on the page, in addition to finding the eggs in the picture, which she thought was fun sometimes but didn't want to think about other times. I sure don't want to push her, but it's SO fun when she's ready to absorb information, just watching the gears in her head go, and seeing her get excited when she figures stuff out. Or tries on a new word that she just learned, like, testing it out to see if she had it right. What a great little brain.
I've made connections with a potential nanny candidate, who I think seems very promising. She is trying to get her own vocal studio going, giving lessons during the day, but I think she has a tough challenge of finding students, especially ones that could come during the day instead of after school. She's going to get back to me at the end of the week, at which point I should have news of baby, and maybe we can find a time to chat after that. It's nice to have a lead, but also nice to know that I've got the summer ahead of me before I must have a solution.
I don't think it's worth documenting on this forum the disaster I had with HR last week. Basically, they won't actually act on the promotion that's been approved for me because they don't think I'll be at work on June 1, meaning the pay increase won't go into effect until after I come back to work in the fall because my boss was two days late with paperwork. I probably could be still at work on June 1, at this rate, so it would be interesting to see their reaction when I report the baby's birthday as June 2. But I guess I'd rather just have the baby, even though it would be satisfying to prove those jerks wrong. The situation is actually more complicated with apparently HR imaccurately relaying things to my boss that I thought I had said in the confidentiality of an HR office, but I'm trying to just let it all go. There truly is nothing I can do about it, which is maddening in itself!! This will mean that two out of my three maternity leaves, I'll have left work on such a note that I'm too pissed at HR to sleep at night. Let's see if 5 years of maturity has gotten me anywhere... rats. oh well.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Almost there... almost...
So, tomorrow is my due date. I had a doctor's appointment and declined to have my membranes stripped this time, since it did no good last week. I haven't had any notable contractions this week, nothing that wasn't brought on by my unreasonable desires to stand up or walk more than a few steps. I'm so disappointed and annoyed. I was even disappointed to wake up this morning, still pregnant, since that was the night that I went into labor with Audrey. It was so nice to not make it to 40 weeks with her, and have her come in under 9 pounds. They (as in, everybody) say the third baby always comes so quickly, it'll come sooner, even if she's bigger it'll be easier because you've done it before, be ready be ready be ready... and here I am reliving the nightmare that I had with Emily. Couldn't convince the doctor that an induction would actually work for me, or that the size of the baby is at all concerning. He said, "Well, she's certainly not a 6-lb baby, but you've got a pretty good pelvis. I'm not concerned." *sigh* Because every woman WANTS to push out enormous children. It's hard to recover, it's a harder delivery, it's absolutely horrendous to carry around. Yep, he's not concerned. Great.
So, do I go to work tomorrow? Well, why not, right? I've already paid for the girls to go to daycare, and if I were to stay at home I'd either work myself to exhaustion since there's so much around here that I haven't been able to take care of, or lay around feeling guilty about not doing it and annoyed that I'm not having a baby. I can be a mom to 2 busy girls OR be enormously pregnant, but I can't seem to pull both off at the same time anymore.
I find it mystifying that I was too pregnant to clean bathrooms at 7 months pregnant but either it's fine for me to do it now, or it's fine to not clean them again until I'm no longer pregnant - GROSS. And how having the dishwasher loaded means that the kitchen is clean. And a specific request to put the carseat into the van so that Emily can still buckle her own seatbelt translates into spending the afternoon replacing the expandable foam down the center of the driveway (!?!?!). Didn't realize that was critical to the function of our house! But, overall Travis has been a good sport in transporting laundry up and down flights of stairs, and tolerating how pathetic our meals have been, and doing a really big share of chasing down screams of terror when the girls have trouble getting along (they're really remarkably easy to resolve - great kids!). I've had a really hard time getting to sleep lately, so I've been letting him fall asleep first and then coming to bed later so my tossing and turning doesn't keep him up.
I think the baby has dropped, finally, so it is much easier to eat and breathe, though much harder to walk. I am figuring this baby has Emily's headshape, instead of Audrey's. My theory is that Audrey's head lodged in my pelvis caused my water to break, and her head to have a visible dent around it after she was born, whereas Emily's long, narrow head didn't get wedged the same way. And I will be pregnant until I cry hard enough in my doctor's appointment that they take me seriously that this baby won't come out without help. Isn't that why I was supposed to have prenatal care?? "Oh, babies come when they're ready!" Then I won't bother with getting groped weekly!! Why bother, if you're not going to do anything to actually help me?!? Or believe me when I tell you what's going on with my body?
I just would really like to go into labor. Until then, I want to go underground and not have to talk to anyone so I don't have to hear about how they only made it to 38 weeks, or made it to 42 without complaining at all (right.).
So, do I go to work tomorrow? Well, why not, right? I've already paid for the girls to go to daycare, and if I were to stay at home I'd either work myself to exhaustion since there's so much around here that I haven't been able to take care of, or lay around feeling guilty about not doing it and annoyed that I'm not having a baby. I can be a mom to 2 busy girls OR be enormously pregnant, but I can't seem to pull both off at the same time anymore.
I find it mystifying that I was too pregnant to clean bathrooms at 7 months pregnant but either it's fine for me to do it now, or it's fine to not clean them again until I'm no longer pregnant - GROSS. And how having the dishwasher loaded means that the kitchen is clean. And a specific request to put the carseat into the van so that Emily can still buckle her own seatbelt translates into spending the afternoon replacing the expandable foam down the center of the driveway (!?!?!). Didn't realize that was critical to the function of our house! But, overall Travis has been a good sport in transporting laundry up and down flights of stairs, and tolerating how pathetic our meals have been, and doing a really big share of chasing down screams of terror when the girls have trouble getting along (they're really remarkably easy to resolve - great kids!). I've had a really hard time getting to sleep lately, so I've been letting him fall asleep first and then coming to bed later so my tossing and turning doesn't keep him up.
I think the baby has dropped, finally, so it is much easier to eat and breathe, though much harder to walk. I am figuring this baby has Emily's headshape, instead of Audrey's. My theory is that Audrey's head lodged in my pelvis caused my water to break, and her head to have a visible dent around it after she was born, whereas Emily's long, narrow head didn't get wedged the same way. And I will be pregnant until I cry hard enough in my doctor's appointment that they take me seriously that this baby won't come out without help. Isn't that why I was supposed to have prenatal care?? "Oh, babies come when they're ready!" Then I won't bother with getting groped weekly!! Why bother, if you're not going to do anything to actually help me?!? Or believe me when I tell you what's going on with my body?
I just would really like to go into labor. Until then, I want to go underground and not have to talk to anyone so I don't have to hear about how they only made it to 38 weeks, or made it to 42 without complaining at all (right.).
Friday, May 11, 2012
Merry month of May
Today was an absolutely beautiful day. The weather was perfect, and Trav decided to take the day off so having him around made it feel even more relaxed and vacation-y. He got everything on his to-do list done, and I got a lot of mine. The girls had a playdate with our neighbor friend who is Emily's age, and are now working together, putting together a puzzle on the couch next to me. They're so sweet. Of course they have terror moments, but watching them work together and talk so nicely to each other, it's great. Emily, today especially, has been showing incredible maturity and really executing all those little things we ask her to do that make the day go more smoothly. I know it's a lot of work for her, and probably unrealistically high and unfair expectations that we place on her, but she does such a great job that I forget how truly little she is. I try to tell her how much I appreciate her hard work in ways that point out that she should feel proud of herself, not necessarily that she has my approval. Audrey is getting more and more capable, finding little things she can do successfully like putting a clean garbage bag in the garbage while I tote the full bag to the bin outside, or bringing her plate into the kitchen from the table. They are amazing little girls... and this little baby sure has a lot of catching up to do!
My boss gave me the official thumbs-down on doing any more field visits, which is just fine because I'm so wiped out and just can't do it any more. Okay, I probably could but it just doesn't seem worth it for the physical pain and exhaustion (it's not like it's going to get my promotion going any faster, as it's stuck in the evil HR Vortex of Worthlessness... i mean, Global Job Evaluation. Whatever.). Every time I stand up, my under-belly aches, I have the start of a contraction, and I have to pee. So I prefer just to stay sitting. I had a good solid contraction at about 2 AM a few nights ago, and I got up to go to the bathroom because it was very reminiscent of the night that I went into labor with Audrey, but, no go. My doctor didn't even check me the next day because I was so clearly not in labor, and it doesn't really matter what I'm dilated to at this point if I'm not having productive contractions. It's all right - 12 more days (4 work days) until my due date. By that point, I'll be really anxious, but until then, well, I'm not really ready anyway. There's no hospital bag packed yet, for me or for baby. I finally ordered the cloth diapers today, but they won't be here for 3 weeks at the very soonest, so no hurry on that (we'd use disposable for a while at first, anyway). I think we're getting closer on a name, but who knows if it will fit once we see her. And if it doesn't, we have no backup plan!
I received my first recommendation for a potential nanny candidate this week, which was exciting. I don't know that she'll work out, schedulewise, but it's nice to see just how qualified and enthusiastic a candidate can be. I think we're on the right track, anyway. It's funny that it seems to be weird to hire a nanny, yet we've done the daycare thing for years now so it's not like we don't know what we want out of someone who's watching our kids during the day. Maybe it's a territory thing - when my kids are in someone else's home, I feel like I may have hired this person but she's running a business so the deference goes both ways. With a nanny, I've hired her to be in my home and do things the way I tell her. I'm not sure how to handle that much authority. :)
Last night was interesting. I went out to dinner with coworkers (one of whom was in town from Germany), and I got home just in time to help Travis with bathtime for the girls. Which is fortunate, because it was only our 2nd pooped-in bath in 4.5 years! The first was when Emily was an infant, so it's been a good stretch for us. Audrey was really embarassed, because she had already made one trip from the tub once successfully, but apparently didn't feel round two coming. So when I walked in the bathroom, the girls were standing naked and dripping in the bathroom while Travis scooped from the tub to the toilet - excellent timing! I suggested to the girls that they have a shower instead of a bath, and Emily was hesitant but Audrey was all excited. They LOVED it, Emily more so than Audrey, even. They thought it was hilarious, rinsing their hair in the "rain" and standing up to wash instead of sitting. They were so cute I wanted to take a picture, but I realized that would have been weird and not really captured the excitement from them anyway, which was really the cutest part. Trav really gave me the fun job, doing something special with the girls while he cleaned up a poopy bathtub. Lucky me!
Last weekend, we hosted a small gathering for a few of our Ragbrai friends, the regulars that we see often in Des Moines. Five years ago, when we visited Kerri out in Washington D.C. for the weekend, we went to a Mexi-tucky party since it was Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby in one day, and it was hilarious and fun. This weekend coincided again, so we decided to add another twist and have our own bike race, the same length as the Derby, 1.25 miles, hence: Mexibikentucky. We did two races - one for kids, on bikes and in trailers - and one real race for grownups. We also did a ladies' leisure ride, which was pretty fun, especially when we cut the route much shorter than the official route (it really was official! Emily and I made signs the day before and Travis posted them around the neighborhood.). Everyone had a great time with the biking and really got into the goofy premise of things, showing up in wild Derby-inspired hats and drinking tequila. Travis talked me into playing a bugle call before the race, which people loved but someone documented in a picture and I am mortified at how absolutely awful the picture is. I'm wearing a floppy, flowery hat and my ever-ill-fitting maternity clothes, playing a trumpet. It was ridiculous. But the whole affair was ridiculous, so I guess it's to be expected! Then we grilled some food, had a fire, drank mint juleps (bleh, apparently), and had a wonderful relaxed time with everyone.
Wednesday night, my coworker and friend Jonna hosted a baby shower for me, and it was the coolest thing. I've recently started tagging along with her Girls' Night Out group, since I knew more than half of these women anyway. They're pretty fun, and they take this obligation seriously - they WILL get out of the house without kids once per month. Jonna put together a party where people all did meal prep for 3 different meals plus cookies, and it was really fun and went off without a hitch. She was so well-organized and everything was so well-planned. I was so impressed, and went home feeling so loved and indebted. And well-fed! I have 5 meals ready for me in the freezer!
I really know a ton of great people, and got to see a lot of them in the past week. Id say that it's worth not being sequestered with a baby in order to participate in all of that, and good to be reminded of it just before I go "underground" for a few months. But I'm having a contraction right now and it sure would be nice if it were productive instead of just annoying. :)
My boss gave me the official thumbs-down on doing any more field visits, which is just fine because I'm so wiped out and just can't do it any more. Okay, I probably could but it just doesn't seem worth it for the physical pain and exhaustion (it's not like it's going to get my promotion going any faster, as it's stuck in the evil HR Vortex of Worthlessness... i mean, Global Job Evaluation. Whatever.). Every time I stand up, my under-belly aches, I have the start of a contraction, and I have to pee. So I prefer just to stay sitting. I had a good solid contraction at about 2 AM a few nights ago, and I got up to go to the bathroom because it was very reminiscent of the night that I went into labor with Audrey, but, no go. My doctor didn't even check me the next day because I was so clearly not in labor, and it doesn't really matter what I'm dilated to at this point if I'm not having productive contractions. It's all right - 12 more days (4 work days) until my due date. By that point, I'll be really anxious, but until then, well, I'm not really ready anyway. There's no hospital bag packed yet, for me or for baby. I finally ordered the cloth diapers today, but they won't be here for 3 weeks at the very soonest, so no hurry on that (we'd use disposable for a while at first, anyway). I think we're getting closer on a name, but who knows if it will fit once we see her. And if it doesn't, we have no backup plan!
I received my first recommendation for a potential nanny candidate this week, which was exciting. I don't know that she'll work out, schedulewise, but it's nice to see just how qualified and enthusiastic a candidate can be. I think we're on the right track, anyway. It's funny that it seems to be weird to hire a nanny, yet we've done the daycare thing for years now so it's not like we don't know what we want out of someone who's watching our kids during the day. Maybe it's a territory thing - when my kids are in someone else's home, I feel like I may have hired this person but she's running a business so the deference goes both ways. With a nanny, I've hired her to be in my home and do things the way I tell her. I'm not sure how to handle that much authority. :)
Last night was interesting. I went out to dinner with coworkers (one of whom was in town from Germany), and I got home just in time to help Travis with bathtime for the girls. Which is fortunate, because it was only our 2nd pooped-in bath in 4.5 years! The first was when Emily was an infant, so it's been a good stretch for us. Audrey was really embarassed, because she had already made one trip from the tub once successfully, but apparently didn't feel round two coming. So when I walked in the bathroom, the girls were standing naked and dripping in the bathroom while Travis scooped from the tub to the toilet - excellent timing! I suggested to the girls that they have a shower instead of a bath, and Emily was hesitant but Audrey was all excited. They LOVED it, Emily more so than Audrey, even. They thought it was hilarious, rinsing their hair in the "rain" and standing up to wash instead of sitting. They were so cute I wanted to take a picture, but I realized that would have been weird and not really captured the excitement from them anyway, which was really the cutest part. Trav really gave me the fun job, doing something special with the girls while he cleaned up a poopy bathtub. Lucky me!
Last weekend, we hosted a small gathering for a few of our Ragbrai friends, the regulars that we see often in Des Moines. Five years ago, when we visited Kerri out in Washington D.C. for the weekend, we went to a Mexi-tucky party since it was Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby in one day, and it was hilarious and fun. This weekend coincided again, so we decided to add another twist and have our own bike race, the same length as the Derby, 1.25 miles, hence: Mexibikentucky. We did two races - one for kids, on bikes and in trailers - and one real race for grownups. We also did a ladies' leisure ride, which was pretty fun, especially when we cut the route much shorter than the official route (it really was official! Emily and I made signs the day before and Travis posted them around the neighborhood.). Everyone had a great time with the biking and really got into the goofy premise of things, showing up in wild Derby-inspired hats and drinking tequila. Travis talked me into playing a bugle call before the race, which people loved but someone documented in a picture and I am mortified at how absolutely awful the picture is. I'm wearing a floppy, flowery hat and my ever-ill-fitting maternity clothes, playing a trumpet. It was ridiculous. But the whole affair was ridiculous, so I guess it's to be expected! Then we grilled some food, had a fire, drank mint juleps (bleh, apparently), and had a wonderful relaxed time with everyone.
Wednesday night, my coworker and friend Jonna hosted a baby shower for me, and it was the coolest thing. I've recently started tagging along with her Girls' Night Out group, since I knew more than half of these women anyway. They're pretty fun, and they take this obligation seriously - they WILL get out of the house without kids once per month. Jonna put together a party where people all did meal prep for 3 different meals plus cookies, and it was really fun and went off without a hitch. She was so well-organized and everything was so well-planned. I was so impressed, and went home feeling so loved and indebted. And well-fed! I have 5 meals ready for me in the freezer!
I really know a ton of great people, and got to see a lot of them in the past week. Id say that it's worth not being sequestered with a baby in order to participate in all of that, and good to be reminded of it just before I go "underground" for a few months. But I'm having a contraction right now and it sure would be nice if it were productive instead of just annoying. :)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Home Stretch
I am 3 weeks and 2 days away from my due date. Baby is jumping all over the place, and I am so sore that I can hardly walk. I have a really hard time standing up for any period of time, so dinners are pretty ridiculously awful anymore. I am really wearing down, and it was very apparent mentally today. I have trouble winding down to sleep at night, because my legs are sore and need stretching, and then I just can't get comfortable.
Fortunately, I've got a lot going for me. I'm winding up the field work that I've been doing for my job, which has been fun but really, really exhausting. Travis is a really good sport about everything that I can't do, and he's starting to get excited about the arrival of our wee one. Still no name for her yet, but at least we're discussing things more seriously now. It's weird how our choice of name has changed again and again as the weeks go by. And, the girls are really getting to be very independent. Emily helps Audrey wash hands after meals, and they are so self-sufficient at things that I really take it for granted how easy it is to ask them to do something and they do it. Audrey had a bit of potty troubles this weekend, but I think it's that we were starting to overprompt, and she had lost track of it being her responsibility. So we backed off, and she's all proud of herself. Emily is an invaluable helper to me - she even managed to wrestle a basket of laundry to the top of the stairs one day!! And she carried a huge package of toilet paper upstairs, too. I really can't wait until I can move around and play with the girls, because for now my playtime with them consists of mostly puzzles and reading books. I just can't physically do much else. But they're good sports about it, and we get lots of snuggles in this way.
We made a trip to my parents' place last weekend so Travis could get their new computer up and running. The weather was really crummy, but the girls had a fabulous time. Emily and my mom had a little 1-on-1 intensive preschool session on Sunday morning, reading books, singing songs and fingerplays, and talking and talking and talking about all kinds of things. It's amazing how much she can absorb!! She sang "little red wagon" for me on the way home, and she remembered the tune, the words, and all the different tools that can be used to fix a wagon. :) So cute to hear her singing about the "wranch" that Grandpa will use. She also got to work with Grandpa on Saturday afternoon, making birdhouses. She had a little hammer that she used to work on each nail, although she was really only interested in about half of each nail, and then she let my dad finish them up. Then she got tired of the pounding and just decided to sing and dance next to my dad while he pounded nails, but in her mind she was still helping. She showed me her first birdhouse when it was done, beaming with pride, and said, "isn't it beauuutiful?" It was nice, but not nearly as beautiful as her smile.
I submitted an application with a nanny service last week. I'm really hoping that we can find someone who is a good fit. I'm excited, because there are all kinds of benefits to it: won't have to drag the girls out of bed in the morning, or do all that extra driving. The girls won't have to be around dogs or other kids all the time, because I'm truly not seeing that "socializing" as an advantage to our current situation. I'm hopeful that a nanny will keep things going around the house, and give the girls structured learning time without the stress of a group setting. But we've gotta find the right person.
In theory, there should only be 6 more full days of work for me before I have this kid, so that's not too many daycare days for the girls. After the baby is born, well, we'll still see, I guess.
Fortunately, I've got a lot going for me. I'm winding up the field work that I've been doing for my job, which has been fun but really, really exhausting. Travis is a really good sport about everything that I can't do, and he's starting to get excited about the arrival of our wee one. Still no name for her yet, but at least we're discussing things more seriously now. It's weird how our choice of name has changed again and again as the weeks go by. And, the girls are really getting to be very independent. Emily helps Audrey wash hands after meals, and they are so self-sufficient at things that I really take it for granted how easy it is to ask them to do something and they do it. Audrey had a bit of potty troubles this weekend, but I think it's that we were starting to overprompt, and she had lost track of it being her responsibility. So we backed off, and she's all proud of herself. Emily is an invaluable helper to me - she even managed to wrestle a basket of laundry to the top of the stairs one day!! And she carried a huge package of toilet paper upstairs, too. I really can't wait until I can move around and play with the girls, because for now my playtime with them consists of mostly puzzles and reading books. I just can't physically do much else. But they're good sports about it, and we get lots of snuggles in this way.
We made a trip to my parents' place last weekend so Travis could get their new computer up and running. The weather was really crummy, but the girls had a fabulous time. Emily and my mom had a little 1-on-1 intensive preschool session on Sunday morning, reading books, singing songs and fingerplays, and talking and talking and talking about all kinds of things. It's amazing how much she can absorb!! She sang "little red wagon" for me on the way home, and she remembered the tune, the words, and all the different tools that can be used to fix a wagon. :) So cute to hear her singing about the "wranch" that Grandpa will use. She also got to work with Grandpa on Saturday afternoon, making birdhouses. She had a little hammer that she used to work on each nail, although she was really only interested in about half of each nail, and then she let my dad finish them up. Then she got tired of the pounding and just decided to sing and dance next to my dad while he pounded nails, but in her mind she was still helping. She showed me her first birdhouse when it was done, beaming with pride, and said, "isn't it beauuutiful?" It was nice, but not nearly as beautiful as her smile.
I submitted an application with a nanny service last week. I'm really hoping that we can find someone who is a good fit. I'm excited, because there are all kinds of benefits to it: won't have to drag the girls out of bed in the morning, or do all that extra driving. The girls won't have to be around dogs or other kids all the time, because I'm truly not seeing that "socializing" as an advantage to our current situation. I'm hopeful that a nanny will keep things going around the house, and give the girls structured learning time without the stress of a group setting. But we've gotta find the right person.
In theory, there should only be 6 more full days of work for me before I have this kid, so that's not too many daycare days for the girls. After the baby is born, well, we'll still see, I guess.
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